LIMM
@LostinmyMind11
14 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 21068 · Posts: 11040 · Topics: 83
Failed A Test :/
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Why did you start arguing with him? He didn't appear to jump down your throat unless you're leaving some parts out but you sure blew up at him over nothing...So what's the anger really about?
I feel ya Girl! I was dating Cancer for several months, we did the 'fade out' (sort of) now he's coming back but I always feel like he's testing me (he does have Scorp moon). ARGH!!! I find it more humorous than infuriating and can't help but wonder if he's trying to 'find' my buttons.. I dunno..I have Cancer moon (and Scorp Asc) and as much as I think I 'get him' I feel like I still don't. I've read they are big on security but I know "we" (Virgos) offer that. Maybe they test it b/c they cant believe it's really there?
We're sposed to be a good match but I know mine confuses me (his unpredictability has almost become predictable and that keeps me in good spirits about it all) but I'm still like "WTF? I dont get it"
Do they have a problem w/ keeping it real? I know when he wants to see me he's agressive but other times I dont understand wtf he's trying to do.
We're sposed to be a good match but I know mine confuses me (his unpredictability has almost become predictable and that keeps me in good spirits about it all) but I'm still like "WTF? I dont get it"
Do they have a problem w/ keeping it real? I know when he wants to see me he's agressive but other times I dont understand wtf he's trying to do.
Nope nothing left out. I'm not angry...he hurt my feelings more or less with his assumptions and comments...making me seem like nothing he does is good enough....a saying he would tell me about how he felt about his exes...I'm not his ex.
I feel like mine is very "tit-for-tat"...like if he asks me out and I cant make it that night inevitably he will set a date w/ me and cancel. Maybe mine is just very immature but that's been one of my Cancer experiences 😢
Posted by MiaSangria
I feel ya Girl! I was dating Cancer for several months, we did the 'fade out' (sort of) now he's coming back but I always feel like he's testing me (he does have Scorp moon). ARGH!!! I find it more humorous than infuriating and can't help but wonder if he's trying to 'find' my buttons.. I dunno..I have Cancer moon (and Scorp Asc) and as much as I think I 'get him' I feel like I still don't. I've read they are big on security but I know "we" (Virgos) offer that. Maybe they test it b/c they cant believe it's really there?
We're sposed to be a good match but I know mine confuses me (his unpredictability has almost become predictable and that keeps me in good spirits about it all) but I'm still like "WTF? I dont get it"
Do they have a problem w/ keeping it real? I know when he wants to see me he's agressive but other times I dont understand wtf he's trying to do.
Oh he confuses me too...but I usually just roll with it...unless he strikes a nerve (and he knows how to strike that nerve) lol
btw..Cancer or not, you did the right thing standing your ground, IMO.
Regardless of his/your sign there is nothing wrong with demanding respect and will only enhance a good relationship or deter a bad one. Good luck!
Regardless of his/your sign there is nothing wrong with demanding respect and will only enhance a good relationship or deter a bad one. Good luck!
"Yes, he was definitely testing you (unfairly). He's being completely unfair and paranoid. I mean, jeez, you were just being flexible. He owes you an apology."
That's exactly how I feel....he came at me unfairly and like I said it really struck a nerve
That's exactly how I feel....he came at me unfairly and like I said it really struck a nerve
Posted by wineaux
btw, it amazes me what each of us pull out of your conversation...i skated right over the ex part and testing you unfairly. hehehhehe.
LOL I did the same thing win but I'm still a bit puzzled by her reaction or maybe i'm just being slow today....I might be out of fight today LOL
People that test are very insecure, I don't have the patience for it.
Like I said before, regardless of sign, stand your ground. Be reasonable but don't bend to what feels uncomfortable. I believe in 'being there' but not being nobody's fool....you feel me? there is a difference and he knows that as well as we do 🙂 I'm sure of it! Personally, I dont like to let mine know he bothered me in the least (which may be why he still does stupid S.H.*.T. - to test me but w/e....I'm not 'going there'🙂
Posted by MiaSangria
btw..Cancer or not, you did the right thing standing your ground, IMO.
Regardless of his/your sign there is nothing wrong with demanding respect and will only enhance a good relationship or deter a bad one. Good luck!
Thank you 🙂
Ha ha...another cancer lover. I love watching the changes they put themselves through. They should just admit they're crazy about us girls, then we'd all be happy. As wineaux says, they don't show their cards. Mine told me that he has so much to tell me about how he really feels for me, but he's afraid i'll use it against him.
OP, just ignore Mr. a bit and he will be back...trust me.
OP, just ignore Mr. a bit and he will be back...trust me.
Posted by Leo1970
Ha ha...another cancer lover. I love watching the changes they put themselves through. They should just admit they're crazy about us girls, then we'd all be happy. As wineaux says, they don't show their cards. Mine told me that he has so much to tell me about how he really feels for me, but he's afraid i'll use it against him.
OP, just ignore Mr. a bit and he will be back...trust me.
Oh I'm not worried about him coming back...I know he will. This was just a little bit a venting and asking about the famous testing
@ wineaux.....well I don't think he wanted me to say for him to stay ( he had to leave early cause his parents wanted him to go with them on Saturday) which I totally understood...that's why I said whatever you wanna do...then I get the whole "its not good enough for you" deal.
Yeah maybe it wasn't the best choice of words...but I didn't mean it like he took it. Well I know he hasn't really spent anytime with his dad....so that's probably why. I still haven't talked to him....I've wanted too but I figure let it be and either he'll come around or won't.
why are you hiding? because he left once? shit, mine left me twice, and i knew that both times weren't for real. test, test, test. he even admitted it both times it was. ha! if they don't feel you're dedicated, they'll test you even further. i'm not saying be a doormat, but the more you let him be him without reacting the less testing he'll put forth.
you're a leo, i'm a gem. i want to fight, i want to push, i want to hear that you are here to stay...they want to FEEL you're going to stay and they can't feel it if you le
Wineaux... what do you mean by this.. "but the more you let him be him without reacting the less testing he'll put forth. "
Posted by wineauxPosted by LostinmyMind11
Yeah maybe it wasn't the best choice of words...but I didn't mean it like he took it. Well I know he hasn't really spent anytime with his dad....so that's probably why. I still haven't talked to him....I've wanted too but I figure let it be and either he'll come around or won't.
darn. well can he come afterwards? or are they doing dinner? can you COME??!?!click to expand
I'm not sure what they are doing...we didn't get that far lol
Posted by wineaux
oh yeah, and of course communication is all kinds of forked up because of merc rx.
So true....its been that way for me since it started...blah
I was gonna vow to not talk until it was over....unfortunately that's not possible lol
So I wasn't going to txt him but I figured if he was giving me space and if I'm giving him space....well it would be forever before we talked lol. So I sent him a txt...something on the funny side and still no reply...at least he knows that I'm not upset anymore and I will leave it at that.
LOL....I think its more than 11 😉. Ouch that sounded like it hurt :/. I really do wish I had more water in my chart...scorp rising doesn't seem to help much lol. I don't know if I can wait that long ;P but yeah its messing up all kinds of convos. Over it for sure! It sucks because of course I'm letting the old imagination run and that's never a good thing! I've been reading on back threads to make myself feel better....and I shouldn't be feeling guilty but I do blah
Ok, since this is public forum so I'm going to say what's in my mind please don't bite my head off. 😄
Lostinmymind, I think you need to learn to be more patient to him and not get carried away with all his up and down emotions. Not saying that you should not stand your ground, but if everytime your crab pulls this kind of sulking game with you and you respond, then it will always be this kind of roller coaster ride with him. Be the mature and stable one, you're the one with the earth sign after all, and play it nice when your crab pulls this game again. Confront him, ask him why exactly is he sulking and what is it that he wants, BUT do not lose your cool.
Wineaux sums it up perfectly here: "they'll push your buttons...cross boundaries...test you if you let them or give them a reason to. like i said, it's about dedication, patience and not letting yourself get affected by their moods. if you don't SHOW them that you possess these qualities, they'll test you to see if you do.
Lostinmymind, I think you need to learn to be more patient to him and not get carried away with all his up and down emotions. Not saying that you should not stand your ground, but if everytime your crab pulls this kind of sulking game with you and you respond, then it will always be this kind of roller coaster ride with him. Be the mature and stable one, you're the one with the earth sign after all, and play it nice when your crab pulls this game again. Confront him, ask him why exactly is he sulking and what is it that he wants, BUT do not lose your cool.
Wineaux sums it up perfectly here: "they'll push your buttons...cross boundaries...test you if you let them or give them a reason to. like i said, it's about dedication, patience and not letting yourself get affected by their moods. if you don't SHOW them that you possess these qualities, they'll test you to see if you do.
Posted by wineaux
me too...i found one darkcancerian wrote and it literally brought me to tears. i even read the 'how to date a cancer man' thread to remind myself to stop. the. insanity. and as a virgo you're ruled by mercury too! btw, what is your mercury in? mine's in cancer. UBER sensitive right now. like a balloon filled with water that the slightest touch could make me pop and water would go EVERYWHERE.
Ha I read the how to date a cancer too...trying to find one with the shelling. My mercury is in libra (no idea what it means...have to go back and look) ...his is in cancer so maybe hes being uber sensative too
Posted by moneyliciouss
Ok, since this is public forum so I'm going to say what's in my mind please don't bite my head off. 😄
Lostinmymind, I think you need to learn to be more patient to him and not get carried away with all his up and down emotions. Not saying that you should not stand your ground, but if everytime your crab pulls this kind of sulking game with you and you respond, then it will always be this kind of roller coaster ride with him. Be the mature and stable one, you're the one with the earth sign after all, and play it nice when your crab pulls this game again. Confront him, ask him why exactly is he sulking and what is it that he wants, BUT do not lose your cool.
Wineaux sums it up perfectly here: "they'll push your buttons...cross boundaries...test you if you let them or give them a reason to. like i said, it's about dedication, patience and not letting yourself get affected by their moods. if you don't SHOW them that you possess these qualities, they'll test you to see if you do.
No biting of the heads here 🙂....welcome btw. His ups and downs don't bother me...actually I think I have way more than he does lol. Patience is my middle name lol That's the first time I've txted him since last thurs....and that was just to let him know in a subtly way that I'm ok now. We know when to back off each other (been friends for 9 yrs). He should know how I am....I speak my mind...its never bothered him before so this shouldn't be any different....he should be prepared lol. It just sucks cause for a year of non stop talking everyday and him coming to see me every weekend and it just stops...I just want the issue resolved and move on....like adults but I will wait til he comes around (which is unfair) Ignoring someone is not cool...no matter what sign.
Posted by wineaux
mercury in libra from cafe astrology
mercury in cancer from cafe astrology
let me know if you find the shelling thread
Awesome...thank you 🙂 I'm on page 17 and still nothing yet...but will let you know
Anybody wanna trade their mercury? mercury in Libra is horrible...then mixed with my virgo sun...theres no hope for me lol
@Lostinmymind: wow, it's a hella long time to be friends with someone. :O Well I don't know your Cancer, and all Cancers are different. But sometimes we can be like a 5 year old kid, cranky and crabby without any apparent reason. We might do stupid things which does not make sense because of some silly reasons like insecurity, jealousy, etc. So then, if we are dealing with this 5 year old kid, as an adult it will be very silly to yell back when the kid throws tantrum at us right. We need to step back, remind ourselves that we are the mature one, and speak to them calmly that it's not cool to get so crabby everytime. We cannot respond to their anger because then we will start a screaming match with a 5 year old, which is totally unproductive. That's what's going on my head when I imagine about people dealing with me.
We aren't selfish people, most of the time we will put your needs above us, and will accommodate your needs and wants the best we can. But when we are in a crabby mood we need others to do the same to us, be understanding and accommodating until those sour moods pass, which rest assured will not be for long.
We aren't selfish people, most of the time we will put your needs above us, and will accommodate your needs and wants the best we can. But when we are in a crabby mood we need others to do the same to us, be understanding and accommodating until those sour moods pass, which rest assured will not be for long.
I understand that I really do...He's been really good to me and I appreciate that very much! But for me I need stability..which he knows, he's asked me what I look for in a guy and he knows what I went thru with my Pisces ex. I understand needing time to deal...virgos do the same thing but also he's showing that he can't handle me :/....maybe I can't handle him either..idk I went ahead and put all his stuff that he left in my apt in bags and either he can come get them or one day I'll drop them off at his house. I just have a feeling he's not coming back or something more going on...who knows...eventually the truth will come out but Idk if I'll be around to hear it. This is why I never wanted to take it any further over the yrs...now I've lost a best friend 😢
@Lostinmymind: Seems like you really care about him... don't lose hope just yet. Again every Cancer is different, but usually our roots go deep and I don't think it's easy for a Cancer to throw a 9 year friendship away just like that. Even I still hold my middle school BFF (we barely talk even more) dear to my heart... I dunno, perhaps it's good to clarify it with him, what's really going on and else, when he comes around? You two are very good friend anyway right. The problem that I notice with most Cancer (including me) is that we suck in communication. It's kinda hard to approach people and tell us what we feel, you know. I'm guessing that perhaps he has one of those moments, hence he has not contacted you yet?
I do really care about him....I wouldn't think it would be that easy to throw away a friendship for anyone, not just cancers....but that's what he is doing. Him knowing that this would bother me (well anyone, but I've told him before) and that shows lack of respect. I will ask him but also Idk if I wanna talk to him anymore either...Its a protection thing....I will close myself off to him so he can't hurt me again. This is exactly why it takes virgos so long to commit to someone...we wait it out til true colors show and even though I know some of his true colors...it still shocks me after this long he would act like this. I understand the communication thing...I'm really am horrible at...but then again it should be different with us. I just have a feeling this is his way out....and he basically will get what he wants...sad to say that but what else am I supposed to do..ya know? I always thought if we could get past the whole fear of us being together....then he would be the one (whether or not marriage ever would play a part)...at least for me anyway...virgos hate wasting time. I just don't understand how someone could be mad at me for being mad at them....that makes no sense to me.
LIMM,
Real talk:
Seriously, at this point, he's probably really tired of all of this back and forth (I know you are too). Since your inception, I think it's safe to say that the two of you have been going through alot of these little episodes. This constant cycle of speaking, and then not speaking. You love me, you love me not.
It's draining.
When do you move past this? When does something change?
He tests you with something he says or does out of his fears/insecurities/need for reassurance, etc., you in turn react negatively or in a sort of angry or detached way (from his pov), he scurries off and shells, you give him his space to breath, a text is sent, and then it's back to square one, only to wash, rinse and repeat all over again. How utterly exhausting.
I get it. You both are still learning one another's emotional/psychological processes but, where's the real communication?
It's ok if you felt some way about him not being able to stay long. We understand. You can admit that. You're human. You care for him, he cares for you, and the time that you two spend together on the weekends is very important to the both of you and maybe he simply needed to hear that instead of a "whatev".
That said, I agree about the constant testing thing. I don't like it either and it does seem a bit unfair but that's the Cancer MO and if you want to keep each other, it's high time you guys start learning just what it means to "handle" one another.
Real talk:
Seriously, at this point, he's probably really tired of all of this back and forth (I know you are too). Since your inception, I think it's safe to say that the two of you have been going through alot of these little episodes. This constant cycle of speaking, and then not speaking. You love me, you love me not.
It's draining.
When do you move past this? When does something change?
He tests you with something he says or does out of his fears/insecurities/need for reassurance, etc., you in turn react negatively or in a sort of angry or detached way (from his pov), he scurries off and shells, you give him his space to breath, a text is sent, and then it's back to square one, only to wash, rinse and repeat all over again. How utterly exhausting.
I get it. You both are still learning one another's emotional/psychological processes but, where's the real communication?
It's ok if you felt some way about him not being able to stay long. We understand. You can admit that. You're human. You care for him, he cares for you, and the time that you two spend together on the weekends is very important to the both of you and maybe he simply needed to hear that instead of a "whatev".
That said, I agree about the constant testing thing. I don't like it either and it does seem a bit unfair but that's the Cancer MO and if you want to keep each other, it's high time you guys start learning just what it means to "handle" one another.
(Continued)
He continues to test you because he doesn't feel completely secure in the relationship yet. Your feelings for him, and where you guys are headed with this. He knows that you care for him deeply but your lack of vulnerability and constant struggle to let your walls down, and detached attitude confuses him and makes him feel rejected. I understand your fear in not wanting to get hurt (TRUST ME GIRL, I DO!!!) but emotional closeness is what the Cancer needs. It's a necessity for them in a relationship. If they are not getting that from their partner, they won't stick around so you might just be right about him trying to make a slow but sure exit.
Don't be alarmed however. Things can change, and while I in no way want you to feel as if all of the responsibility is placed on you, it is worth noting that generally in a Virgo-Cancer match up, the Virgo is usually the one who plays the role of —anchor?? when it comes to the emotional aspect. I know it sounds unfair and like the burden is unbalanced but, the good news is that we are up to the task, hence the reason we are Earth. We were designed for this purpose. It's what we do. We ground.
Cancer men expect their women to know what they are feeling without having to say a word. They like to be babied and fussed over (even if they deny it —til the second coming of Christ!)
If he honestly couldn't stay long and wasn't just saying that to score himself an emotional orgasm, next time instead of your typical response, why not try something like: —I think it's really nice that you are spending time with your parents but I just want you to know that I'm going to miss you when you leave and I wish that you could stay longer.?? I know that it might sound a little cheesy but trust, that will go a looooong way because it's what he really wants to hear. He's testing because he wants to know that you care. It's an art with these Cancer men. LOL.
He continues to test you because he doesn't feel completely secure in the relationship yet. Your feelings for him, and where you guys are headed with this. He knows that you care for him deeply but your lack of vulnerability and constant struggle to let your walls down, and detached attitude confuses him and makes him feel rejected. I understand your fear in not wanting to get hurt (TRUST ME GIRL, I DO!!!) but emotional closeness is what the Cancer needs. It's a necessity for them in a relationship. If they are not getting that from their partner, they won't stick around so you might just be right about him trying to make a slow but sure exit.
Don't be alarmed however. Things can change, and while I in no way want you to feel as if all of the responsibility is placed on you, it is worth noting that generally in a Virgo-Cancer match up, the Virgo is usually the one who plays the role of —anchor?? when it comes to the emotional aspect. I know it sounds unfair and like the burden is unbalanced but, the good news is that we are up to the task, hence the reason we are Earth. We were designed for this purpose. It's what we do. We ground.
Cancer men expect their women to know what they are feeling without having to say a word. They like to be babied and fussed over (even if they deny it —til the second coming of Christ!)
If he honestly couldn't stay long and wasn't just saying that to score himself an emotional orgasm, next time instead of your typical response, why not try something like: —I think it's really nice that you are spending time with your parents but I just want you to know that I'm going to miss you when you leave and I wish that you could stay longer.?? I know that it might sound a little cheesy but trust, that will go a looooong way because it's what he really wants to hear. He's testing because he wants to know that you care. It's an art with these Cancer men. LOL.
(And continued again)
And there's also the issue of the Cancer thinking the Virgo doesn't care when we speak about things in an unemotional way or are just being our normal selves (cold, detached) which couldn't be farther from the truth. You should make it clear to him that just because you don't always —say it?? or —do it??, doesn't mean that you are rejecting him or care about him any less. If he really wants this to work, he's gonna have to come around as well and understand that this is your basic nature. It's not acceptable for him to sulk, pout and shell every single time he misinterprets something or doesn't get his way. Geez.
Damnit, this is why I'm sticking to other earth signs —cause this water/earth shit is just too much EFFING work! Shit!...alright, kid??n.
Don't give up, LIMM. I know he still cares. Just open the lines of communication. You guys are stuck in this —rut?? but if you two just took the time to sit down and really talk about this, I'm sure you can make some really good progress. I'm root??n (and I'm here) for you, girl.
And there's also the issue of the Cancer thinking the Virgo doesn't care when we speak about things in an unemotional way or are just being our normal selves (cold, detached) which couldn't be farther from the truth. You should make it clear to him that just because you don't always —say it?? or —do it??, doesn't mean that you are rejecting him or care about him any less. If he really wants this to work, he's gonna have to come around as well and understand that this is your basic nature. It's not acceptable for him to sulk, pout and shell every single time he misinterprets something or doesn't get his way. Geez.
Damnit, this is why I'm sticking to other earth signs —cause this water/earth shit is just too much EFFING work! Shit!...alright, kid??n.
Don't give up, LIMM. I know he still cares. Just open the lines of communication. You guys are stuck in this —rut?? but if you two just took the time to sit down and really talk about this, I'm sure you can make some really good progress. I'm root??n (and I'm here) for you, girl.
@ VV
Yes I've notice that too...been arguing here and there more....which I completely agree that it has to do with all the back and forth stuff. I swear are you watching us somehow....Hahaha just kidding of course. Its this cycle over and over again and yes it very exhausting....but just when I'm starting to let him in more then its the 2 steps back because of some type of miscommunication.
True, I know that we are still trying to figure each other out...instead of just coming out with it and it either go one way or the other...no instead we test each other (he's not the only one testing) and it gets us both no where. Of course I like when he comes up....we do have fun together but its so hard for me to just say something like that...I feel stupid and not sure what his reaction will be...but I'm trying to work on that (might be too late). In the mean time...this shelling deal is ridiculous..why is he shelling for? because I told him how I felt...see its like when I go there with my feelings..I get punished for expressing them (I know it may have to do with the way I express them) but I'm not coming at him all yelling...this is all done in a calmly manner.
Funny how you should mention the fussing over them....the last time he was up...he was gonna take a nap and he was all talking like a child...i always say don't talk like that...talk like a man...so he lowers his voice...and we laugh (i'm sure it still hurts his feelings) so anyway I walked in there to ask him if he wanted me to wake him up when dinner was done...he starts acting childish...so I rub his arm and say awww poor Mr. Cancer....so he asked if I would rub his back like that...so I said yes let me take dinner off the stove then I hear him say...I was just kidding...i said no you weren't and went in there and rubbed his back....There's an example of cancers and the indirectness but it still should have showed him I cared...I seen right thru it
Yes I have had to tell him numerous times....just cause I don't say it or show it doesn't mean its not true....and I know if we ever did get passed all this....my affectionate side would def come out.
So why the shelling really? That doesn't in my eyes be something to shell over for this long! Like I've said before....we've had way worse fights and he's never shelled this long. Could it be that before he just took it and now he sees me as something more and it hurt him that bad? or the other possibility that there's more going on?
Yes I've notice that too...been arguing here and there more....which I completely agree that it has to do with all the back and forth stuff. I swear are you watching us somehow....Hahaha just kidding of course. Its this cycle over and over again and yes it very exhausting....but just when I'm starting to let him in more then its the 2 steps back because of some type of miscommunication.
True, I know that we are still trying to figure each other out...instead of just coming out with it and it either go one way or the other...no instead we test each other (he's not the only one testing) and it gets us both no where. Of course I like when he comes up....we do have fun together but its so hard for me to just say something like that...I feel stupid and not sure what his reaction will be...but I'm trying to work on that (might be too late). In the mean time...this shelling deal is ridiculous..why is he shelling for? because I told him how I felt...see its like when I go there with my feelings..I get punished for expressing them (I know it may have to do with the way I express them) but I'm not coming at him all yelling...this is all done in a calmly manner.
Funny how you should mention the fussing over them....the last time he was up...he was gonna take a nap and he was all talking like a child...i always say don't talk like that...talk like a man...so he lowers his voice...and we laugh (i'm sure it still hurts his feelings) so anyway I walked in there to ask him if he wanted me to wake him up when dinner was done...he starts acting childish...so I rub his arm and say awww poor Mr. Cancer....so he asked if I would rub his back like that...so I said yes let me take dinner off the stove then I hear him say...I was just kidding...i said no you weren't and went in there and rubbed his back....There's an example of cancers and the indirectness but it still should have showed him I cared...I seen right thru it
Yes I have had to tell him numerous times....just cause I don't say it or show it doesn't mean its not true....and I know if we ever did get passed all this....my affectionate side would def come out.
So why the shelling really? That doesn't in my eyes be something to shell over for this long! Like I've said before....we've had way worse fights and he's never shelled this long. Could it be that before he just took it and now he sees me as something more and it hurt him that bad? or the other possibility that there's more going on?
@ vv cont:
your awesome btw.....your post really did make me feel better 🙂
your awesome btw.....your post really did make me feel better 🙂
So I just received an apology from him...and Idk what to even say back...I mean I have allllot I could say but I figure better keep my mouth shut for now...then I got a text "I figured you wouldn't text back...maybe one day "
Posted by wineauxPosted by LostinmyMind11
So I just received an apology from him...and Idk what to even say back...I mean I have allllot I could say but I figure better keep my mouth shut for now...then I got a text "I figured you wouldn't text back...maybe one day "
he's going to self deprecate and walk sideways...reassure him that you're still there and that of course you forgive him, unless you don't. what do YOU want? you know he's fragile and vulnerable (and of course, you are too) but my advice for you is to SEE each other so you hearts can melt and fall back in sync. once you get the sweet face, sparkly eyes (perhaps from tears!) and big cancer hug, you'll know where you and him stand. and what direction you should go.
I'll probably get blasted for telling you to approach him just as sideways as he is you, but I think it's key to how they communicate. mirror him but with support and reassurance.click to expand
Thanks wineaux 🙂
How are things with ur crab win?
Posted by VirgoVixxxen
He continues to test you because he doesn't feel completely secure in the relationship yet. Your feelings for him, and where you guys are headed with this. He knows that you care for him deeply but your lack of vulnerability and constant struggle to let your walls down, and detached attitude confuses him and makes him feel rejected. I understand your fear in not wanting to get hurt (TRUST ME GIRL, I DO!!!) but emotional closeness is what the Cancer needs. It's a necessity for them in a relationship. If they are not getting that from their partner, they won't stick around....
And there's also the issue of the Cancer thinking the Virgo doesn't care when we speak about things in an unemotional way or are just being our normal selves (cold, detached) which couldn't be farther from the truth. You should make it clear to him that just because you don't always —say it?? or —do it??, doesn't mean that you are rejecting him or care about him any less. If he really wants this to work, he's gonna have to come around as well and understand that this is your basic nature. It's not acceptable for him to sulk, pout and shell every single time he misinterprets something or doesn't get his way. Geez.
This. Totally.
So I sent him a txt that just said I'm sorry too...and we are talking a little....He asked me if he could text me after he takes a nap (he literally asked lol)....I said yes and hes like ok talk to you in a bit....lol Idk what to think anymore...I really don't
Posted by LostinmyMind11
@ vv cont:
your awesome btw.....your post really did make me feel better 🙂
Awww...thanks! I try. 🙂
Sent you a pm btw.
Posted by MiaSangriaPosted by VirgoVixxxen
He continues to test you because he doesn't feel completely secure in the relationship yet. Your feelings for him, and where you guys are headed with this. He knows that you care for him deeply but your lack of vulnerability and constant struggle to let your walls down, and detached attitude confuses him and makes him feel rejected. I understand your fear in not wanting to get hurt (TRUST ME GIRL, I DO!!!) but emotional closeness is what the Cancer needs. It's a necessity for them in a relationship. If they are not getting that from their partner, they won't stick around....
And there's also the issue of the Cancer thinking the Virgo doesn't care when we speak about things in an unemotional way or are just being our normal selves (cold, detached) which couldn't be farther from the truth. You should make it clear to him that just because you don't always —say it?? or —do it??, doesn't mean that you are rejecting him or care about him any less. If he really wants this to work, he's gonna have to come around as well and understand that this is your basic nature. It's not acceptable for him to sulk, pout and shell every single time he misinterprets something or doesn't get his way. Geez.
This. Totally.click to expand
🙂
You've made it a point to prove in here that his emotions don't move you, nor will they.
You appear to be disgruntled about being tested, without even acknowledging that if you felt, which would create the sensation within you to be moved ... then a test wouldn't have to exist.
It's not a good thing to remain rigid, unemotional .... Virgos pride themselves in practicing this, to their own detriment ... then sulk because people take advantage of their giving hearts.
What giving hearts?
You made a point to show us in here how proud you are of yourself to remain untouched in your heart when the only thing he wanted that day was for you to express that you do care .... you said you don't whether he comes or not.
That's not a giving heart ... that's a cold heart.
Being a Virgo .... that ^^^^^^ awareness flies over your head, it's invisible to you. For if it were visible to you, then you would never have given him the suggestion that you didn't care what he did.
I feel sorry for any person who invests their heart into a Virgo ... for they really don't care, they really don't .... and are proud of it.
You appear to be disgruntled about being tested, without even acknowledging that if you felt, which would create the sensation within you to be moved ... then a test wouldn't have to exist.
It's not a good thing to remain rigid, unemotional .... Virgos pride themselves in practicing this, to their own detriment ... then sulk because people take advantage of their giving hearts.
What giving hearts?
You made a point to show us in here how proud you are of yourself to remain untouched in your heart when the only thing he wanted that day was for you to express that you do care .... you said you don't whether he comes or not.
That's not a giving heart ... that's a cold heart.
Being a Virgo .... that ^^^^^^ awareness flies over your head, it's invisible to you. For if it were visible to you, then you would never have given him the suggestion that you didn't care what he did.
I feel sorry for any person who invests their heart into a Virgo ... for they really don't care, they really don't .... and are proud of it.
Posted by VirgoVixxxen
And there's also the issue of the Cancer thinking the Virgo doesn't care when we speak about things in an unemotional way or are just being our normal selves (cold, detached) which couldn't be farther from the truth.
That is utter bullshit.
If a Virgo approaches the expressional side of a relationship unemotionally .. then that is indeed showing the partner that you don't care about how the feelings of every aspect of the relationship is handled.
It's not further from the truth, being cold and unemotional in a relationship is the very truth.
In the quote above, it is being admitted that Virgos do this, and then saying that nobody suppose to believe that you meant it.
If you don't act how you mean .. if your actions don't coincide with how you feel .... that makes YOU the problem in relationships because because you are decieving the other person. YOu aren't being upfront.
There are several threads in just the Cancer forum, and many throughout this site .... and here is a prime example = Virgos don't emotionally express to their partners, and then act like the partner is the one not caring, and then saying bullshit like is quoted above and making it sound like it's the partner being unreasonable.
You all think it's a good thing to be cold to your partners ..... but, think it's a bad thing if it's done to you in return.
YOu all should just stick with each other and leave the normal people to are aware that feelings are good thing .. alone, and stop abusing them, stop using them .. you really don't deserve a person who cares
@P-Angel....aren't you married to a virgo? If you think we don't care and all that BS...why would you marry one? Just because your virgo doesn't care...doesn't mean the rest of us are him!!
Posted by LostinmyMind11
@P-Angel....aren't you married to a virgo? If you think we don't care and all that BS...why would you marry one? Just because your virgo doesn't care...doesn't mean the rest of us are him!!
Whether I'm married to one, or not, isn't relevant to you.
Nowhere in this thread did you state that you were talking about me and my husband .. this is about you.
So, instead of acknowledging that you have a responsibility in the problem by your lack of emotional expression ... you attempt to distract any accountibility you have, by trying to talk about my marriage?
You prove yourself to be uncaring, and then attempt to make it sound like it's my husbands fault?
Do you take responsibility for anything you do? Or are you always projecting the problems you are responsible for onto other people?
Even your Cancer man gives you a test to see if you actually care about whether or not he comes or goes out of your life .. and you come in here to try and make it sound like he's wrong in some way. I agree with him and say you aren't being emotionally expressive, and proud of it for some unknown reason, and you completely ignore that and comment on my relationship .. when in fact, I've never mentioned the conditions of my relationship.
Do you take responsibility for ANYTHING — At all —
Doesn't matter if its not about you....your bitterness distorts your perception....there for what you say has no meaning...when talking about a virgo!!
Posted by LostinmyMind11
...I said whatever you wanna do (seriously wasn't a big deal) he then proceeds to tell me that he knew I would do this...
He isn't a big deal to you, and he tries to be.
He knew how you'd react .. and how sad is that that he can predict how unmoving you'd be
To you, from what you've written, you can only acknowledge the test and what is his deal for even doing one ..... and nowhere in here have you gave any suggestions that you acknowledge that there is a valid reason for the test, based on you not expressing to him that he is indeed a big deal to you.
The lack of being passionate about what you claim you care about is a bad thing, not a good thing .... the tongue can "say" whatever it wants to say ... how you react is the telling-sign.
You reacted to him as if you didn't care one way or the other ..... what reason is there for him, or anyone else to want to love a person like you, if you don't bother to make them feel like they matter to you?
Even our pet dogs REACT like they care if we are present.
Posted by LostinmyMind11
Doesn't matter if its not about you....your bitterness distorts your perception....there for what you say has no meaning...when talking about a virgo!!
Of course, that must be it.
Again, instead of acknowledging any truth or accountibility .... turn it around, make it about me and my slanted perception. If you do that then you dont' have to accept anything I said as being the truth.
Eventhough the people reading this, know that I'm telling you the truth.
But, whatever you do, save yourself from any truth that might be present, because the truth is bad when you don't want to have any responsibility .. instead, blame it on someone else, yes, that's it.
Meanwhile, you have a man who can predict that you will react to him unmoving .... what do you propose to do about that? You could always tell him what I said and how my perception must be distorted .. that should buy you a couple more weeks of ignoring this, and maybe in that time frame you could buy him something shiny, which would give you another month or so before he begins to feel unwanted by you again.
No...he knew how others in his past would react and he figured I would react the same way....and that's what he apologized for...for assuming. Just because I don't know how to express my feelings...for my own reasons...doesn't mean I don't care. Its something I have to work on...which will take time....you can change a habit that your born with overnight
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