Gabzor_
@Gabzor_
5 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 8 · Topics: 1
Frustrated with cancer woman.. or should I say toddler
You want advice on how to deal w your narcissistic "toddler" when she's in your life because you placed her there? No way. People treat you the WAY YOU ALLOW, narcissistic....manipulative, or not 🙄
So your reaction to dealing with her childish-ness is to betray her and then block her? Lol you are just as childish.
If you want her to own her shit start by looking in the mirror and own your own.
Relationships are bigger than your ego. And if you can’t swing it, cut her loose for good and find someone more suited to you.
If you want her to own her shit start by looking in the mirror and own your own.
Relationships are bigger than your ego. And if you can’t swing it, cut her loose for good and find someone more suited to you.
Posted by Gabzor_
I read @M00Nchild's thread on dealing with an immature cancer.. jeez its pretty bad.. I'm a taurus male, and I got trapped in between a very manipulative pretty much golddigging cancer.. Problem is, I had enough and kind of "burned the bridge" but its a small world, and its hard to avoid her..
Yes I burned the bridge by betraying her and I blocked her, but honestly I want to keep the peace because small world so I wanted to talk terms with her and make some kind of peace.. because I'm kind of tired of drama and I'm kind of still in love with her unfortunately
She's 26, but she acts like she's 10.. she literally just wants things to go only her way, and will never take the blame, and always tries to manipulate the situation into her gain.. She shows very strong traits of a narcissist sociopath and I just don't know how to deal with it.. When I call her out on things, she just gets passive aggressive, and tries to run away.. When I say how is it fair that she's allowed to be a hypocrite about things but she always guilt trips me and makes me feel guilty.. why is it so hard to just have a normal adult chat??
Is there any way I can ever her to own up to anything without upsetting her? Is there any way to make it so she doesn't run away or try to flip the script?
The answer is no - she's who she is and you can't change that so leave it alone and find someone more mature. Some people just never grow and that ain't our fault. Sorry boo.
Posted by sweetpea2977
You want advice on how to deal w your narcissistic "toddler" when she's in your life because you placed her there? No way. People treat you the WAY YOU ALLOW, narcissistic....manipulative, or not 🙄
I’ve noticed with the op (if it is who I suspect it is) that nothing is ever his fault in his failed relationships. It’s all the woman’s.
But takes 2 to tango.
If all you have to say about your former and current partners is that they are childish and not mature, manipulative, etc etc time to wake up and see the common denominator is you.
Whether it be as little and simple as you choosing the same train wreck person and letting them into your life time and time again.
Take accountability.
Posted by LadyNeptunePosted by sweetpea2977
You want advice on how to deal w your narcissistic "toddler" when she's in your life because you placed her there? No way. People treat you the WAY YOU ALLOW, narcissistic....manipulative, or not 🙄
I’ve noticed with the op (if it is who I suspect it is) that nothing is ever his fault in his failed relationships. It’s all the woman’s.
But takes 2 to tango.
If all you have to say about your former and current partners is that they are childish and not mature, manipulative, etc etc time to wake up and see the common denominator is you.
Whether it be as little and simple as you choosing the same train wreck person and letting them into your life time and time again.
Take accountability.click to expand
Yep.... it's him! You're so correct. He's always whining and playing as if he's a victim having no options 🤦 Frankly, I think he has EXACTLY what he deserves to have 🤷
@Arielle83 I'm not sure how to mirror things.. I mean if shes playing victim do I play victim? Do I just agree with her and say yes everything is my fault? Do I just ignore everything that was said and say "I want to go home" I'm a pretty direct person so its quite tricky
Example would be like if she had an issue with something, she expects me to respond immediately and try and do everything in my power to resolve an issue, yet when I have an issue, she tells me things like "I feel like I'm walking on eggshells so I don't know what to say" or just flat out ignores me and pretends like everything is fine.. until I bring it up saying the issue is unresolved than all of a sudden I'm too stubborn and I feel like I'm at fault for not just dropping the issue, no matter how serious it is
@LadyNeptune Huh I never said I'm not taking any of the blame, I literally owned up to everything.. I burned the bridge with her and blocked her because it was my only way of getting closure, but little did I know the drama would just grow.. (We unblocked each other now) I'm just trying to do some damage control, I'm not twisting words or situations and yes I know it takes 2 to tangle it was one sided to me in this case..my last relationship was like 5 years ago and I've learned alot, and matured alot and stayed single out of choice because I was working on myself.. Yes I sound like I'm playing victim but I'm just telling it like it is, I didn't post the whole story, and was just asking for advice on how to deal with a behavior
So maybe you got me mixed up with someone? Although I did have a dxp account back than, I shut it down years ago.. You are right though I chose the trainwreck of a person thinking it was a completely different person, than things started hitting the fan..
@sweetpea2977 Yeah you're right I chose to keep her, I kept trying to move past obvious flaws because I was being delusional, because I just saw so much potential and so much good, but fact is, can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.. how am I playing victim if I'm just asking for advice on a potential resolve? I accept the consequence that maybe the situation is just what it is and uh you're someone I know? Sorry actually confused
Example would be like if she had an issue with something, she expects me to respond immediately and try and do everything in my power to resolve an issue, yet when I have an issue, she tells me things like "I feel like I'm walking on eggshells so I don't know what to say" or just flat out ignores me and pretends like everything is fine.. until I bring it up saying the issue is unresolved than all of a sudden I'm too stubborn and I feel like I'm at fault for not just dropping the issue, no matter how serious it is
@LadyNeptune Huh I never said I'm not taking any of the blame, I literally owned up to everything.. I burned the bridge with her and blocked her because it was my only way of getting closure, but little did I know the drama would just grow.. (We unblocked each other now) I'm just trying to do some damage control, I'm not twisting words or situations and yes I know it takes 2 to tangle it was one sided to me in this case..my last relationship was like 5 years ago and I've learned alot, and matured alot and stayed single out of choice because I was working on myself.. Yes I sound like I'm playing victim but I'm just telling it like it is, I didn't post the whole story, and was just asking for advice on how to deal with a behavior
So maybe you got me mixed up with someone? Although I did have a dxp account back than, I shut it down years ago.. You are right though I chose the trainwreck of a person thinking it was a completely different person, than things started hitting the fan..
@sweetpea2977 Yeah you're right I chose to keep her, I kept trying to move past obvious flaws because I was being delusional, because I just saw so much potential and so much good, but fact is, can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.. how am I playing victim if I'm just asking for advice on a potential resolve? I accept the consequence that maybe the situation is just what it is and uh you're someone I know? Sorry actually confused
does she have any Libra in there anywhere because it sounds like a familiar experience I've had with a Libra as far as not holding themselves accountable for anything; flipping the script and running away when I was trying to actually have a face to face convo
Posted by Gabzor_
@LadyNeptune Huh I never said I'm not taking any of the blame, I literally owned up to everything.. I burned the bridge with her and blocked her because it was my only way of getting closure, but little did I know the drama would just grow.. (We unblocked each other now) I'm just trying to do some damage control, I'm not twisting words or situations and yes I know it takes 2 to tangle it was one sided to me in this case..my last relationship was like 5 years ago and I've learned alot, and matured alot and stayed single out of choice because I was working on myself.. Yes I sound like I'm playing victim but I'm just telling it like it is, I didn't post the whole story, and was just asking for advice on how to deal with a behavior
So maybe you got me mixed up with someone? Although I did have a dxp account back than, I shut it down years ago.. You are right though I chose the trainwreck of a person thinking it was a completely different person, than things started hitting the fan..
@sweetpea2977 Yeah you're right I chose to keep her, I kept trying to move past obvious flaws because I was being delusional, because I just saw so much potential and so much good, but fact is, can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved.. how am I playing victim if I'm just asking for advice on a potential resolve? I accept the consequence that maybe the situation is just what it is and uh you're someone I know? Sorry actually confused
If I've mistaken you for someone else, then I apologize. You truly do sound like a dude who has whined on this forum before 🤨
Anyway, the only advice I can give is to never base a relationship on potential but on WHAT it ACTUALLY IS. We create a lot of UNNECESSARY problems if we only learn to see the TRUTH in people and what they bring INTO our lives. The sooner you embrace that, the better off YOUR LIFE will be. Good luck.
Funny, I just posted today about having problems with my Taurus...I'm the cancer woman. I always feel as though I am bowing to his every whim because if I don't he acts childish and retaliates by being cold and distant instead of having a conversation like an adult.
I'm constantly apologizing for things I should not have to. He apologizes for nothing...ever.
Unfortunately, as much as I care for him, he is stubborn and cannot see his own wrongdoing, so I guess it's time for me to move on. Maybe you should as well. You can't meet someone half way if they are unwilling to compromise.
Good luck.
I'm constantly apologizing for things I should not have to. He apologizes for nothing...ever.
Unfortunately, as much as I care for him, he is stubborn and cannot see his own wrongdoing, so I guess it's time for me to move on. Maybe you should as well. You can't meet someone half way if they are unwilling to compromise.
Good luck.
@notreally No libra but I know what you mean, its a little different though, with cancers I feel like they try to avoid direct confrontation and want to do anything to keep the peace for themselves and make you feel guilty, while with libra, they will kind of agree with everyone and everything as long as long as there's peace between both of you, same same but different.. cancer it feels more personal and you feel like you're at fault, libra it feels more fake, and like they are just agreeing with you to keep the peace
@sweetpea2977 I've had an account before like I replied to ladyneptune, years ago, I think almost 4-5 years ago? I was dealing with an aries/taurus cusp who cheated on me not a cancer, and I don't think I whined much, I wasn't very active except in private messages with a couple people about most of the details..she ended up cheating on me again and that was the end of that and I stopped with DXP for years, I closed my account and only yesterday I made a new one as I'm just frustrated for insight
Is that me? was there an aries/taurus cusp involved? haha
Yep you're absolutely right, things were so good at the beginning, she was very charming, and honest but an ex was there the whole time/tried to complicating things (I had no idea it was an ex until I caught feelings and she told me the truth) that's when things got muddy.. I should have recognized the red flags, but I admit, I was quite lonely and although I wasn't looking for anything, things just happened and I thought it was a good thing that was going to happen and eventually the flaws would be worked out, Yep I was completely delusional..I actually avoided dating for years because of what you said, and because I was so damaged, and just wanted to work on myself
@Cancer_77 Sorry about your taurus man, and no it was the opposite for me, I was putting the most effort into things while she wanted to do the least or nothing at all , I tried so much to try and fix things like an adult but she was kind of proud that she was naive and chidlish and never saw the wrong in things, she would say I'm right and she's sorry but her actions were turning into patterns and would never change or would get worse.. I used to be extremely stubborn but I saw its better to be open minded and give things a try and grow.. I swear I'm not your taurus man haha
@sweetpea2977 I've had an account before like I replied to ladyneptune, years ago, I think almost 4-5 years ago? I was dealing with an aries/taurus cusp who cheated on me not a cancer, and I don't think I whined much, I wasn't very active except in private messages with a couple people about most of the details..she ended up cheating on me again and that was the end of that and I stopped with DXP for years, I closed my account and only yesterday I made a new one as I'm just frustrated for insight
Is that me? was there an aries/taurus cusp involved? haha
Yep you're absolutely right, things were so good at the beginning, she was very charming, and honest but an ex was there the whole time/tried to complicating things (I had no idea it was an ex until I caught feelings and she told me the truth) that's when things got muddy.. I should have recognized the red flags, but I admit, I was quite lonely and although I wasn't looking for anything, things just happened and I thought it was a good thing that was going to happen and eventually the flaws would be worked out, Yep I was completely delusional..I actually avoided dating for years because of what you said, and because I was so damaged, and just wanted to work on myself
@Cancer_77 Sorry about your taurus man, and no it was the opposite for me, I was putting the most effort into things while she wanted to do the least or nothing at all , I tried so much to try and fix things like an adult but she was kind of proud that she was naive and chidlish and never saw the wrong in things, she would say I'm right and she's sorry but her actions were turning into patterns and would never change or would get worse.. I used to be extremely stubborn but I saw its better to be open minded and give things a try and grow.. I swear I'm not your taurus man haha
@Cancer_77 Sorry about your taurus man, and no it was the opposite for me, I was putting the most effort into things while she wanted to do the least or nothing at all , I tried so much to try and fix things like an adult but she was kind of proud that she was naive and chidlish and never saw the wrong in things, she would say I'm right and she's sorry but her actions were turning into patterns and would never change or would get worse.. I used to be extremely stubborn but I saw its better to be open minded and give things a try and grow.. I swear I'm not your taurus man haha
I know you're not my Taurus, he wouldn't bother with asking others opinions because he thinks he is always right. Wish my Taurus was more open minded. I think his past relationships have jaded him and it's going to doom any potential love interests if he can't be more open. I have been so generous and loving with him...most of patient, but that is starting to fade.
It's too bad because Taurus and Cancers have one of the best compatibilities.
I know you're not my Taurus, he wouldn't bother with asking others opinions because he thinks he is always right. Wish my Taurus was more open minded. I think his past relationships have jaded him and it's going to doom any potential love interests if he can't be more open. I have been so generous and loving with him...most of patient, but that is starting to fade.
It's too bad because Taurus and Cancers have one of the best compatibilities.
@cancer_77 Heh I was like what?? but I get it now, just a weird coincidence, I guess your taurus was the immature one, and yeah I completely understand, I'm still pretty damn stubborn, but I've been through alot and tell myself be open, be honest, and really try to listen and be empathetic to the other person, it is a bit easier to be open when things are good, and a little more difficult when things are bad, but again, it took alot of time for me to get to this point with myself, I noticed with other tauruses, they might let you win but deep inside, they still think only they are right, I guess as a taurus myself, I can say its just actually hard to be open minded, because its being open to change and accepting something different but I try to be open, whether good or bad because the lessons and blessing that may come with it but hurt bulls seem to be like that until they get fire on their ass to get them going sometimes I feel like and I agree, cancer woman and taurus man have some kind of crazy compatibility, the comfort feeling is kind of out of this world, some real potential growth is there
@Arielle83 Yeah pretty much.. A mutual friend said maybe she should talk to me as an adult, and it would be good for both of us even though we are done, she said "I'm not ready to face him, and if he had done things a certain way or didn't catch feelings it would have been better" Looks like she went back to her ex, but if the occasion does arrive where I ever have to deal with such behaviors again, I will refer back to the suggestion I guess
I've told her a relationship is about 2 people not just her, same with a friendship, but that logic didn't seem to apply for her, it was her way or the highway I guess.. I mean I even just tried giving her what she wanted sometimes and even than, it wasn't good enough if everything didn't go her way but yeah I will just try to be quieter and more calm if I ever talk to her again, I have an mercury in aries so its tough haha
I've told her a relationship is about 2 people not just her, same with a friendship, but that logic didn't seem to apply for her, it was her way or the highway I guess.. I mean I even just tried giving her what she wanted sometimes and even than, it wasn't good enough if everything didn't go her way but yeah I will just try to be quieter and more calm if I ever talk to her again, I have an mercury in aries so its tough haha
@Arielle83 Honestly, I don't know lol she used to tell me how much she hates him, but she can't seem to let go of the fact he makes ALOT more money than me, and old feelings and memories, so yep you're absolutely right she wants a daddy, I want an equal
Honestly I just wanted to know how to get her to talk to her as an equal without the mind games and such. Just wanted to make some peace of a horrible situation I guess, I don't know why but things just don't feel right I guess
Honestly I just wanted to know how to get her to talk to her as an equal without the mind games and such. Just wanted to make some peace of a horrible situation I guess, I don't know why but things just don't feel right I guess
@Arielle83 So I guess there's no winning..? And Yeah I had no idea.. but now I know the difference between an immature one and a mature one.. I always wanted to date a cancer but now I'm afraid haha but maybe one day, honestly I need to be better for myself too especially to be able to build a home and have a family (talking cancer things), being able to buy a house here is insane heh
I'm just so bummed I had to be that guy
I'm just so bummed I had to be that guy
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