Guide to Dating a Crab: Secrets of the Shell

Written by the Cancerian men and women of DXP

Seems like a necessary thread. Please, Cancers, contribute the do's and don'ts of dating us as you think of them.

Do NOT chase after a Cancer.

EVER.

Posted by deepseagiant
Keep the relationship faaaaaar from Facebook..

rofl

Ahem, eh, to any newbies- none of these boys are crabs. don't take notes on the above.

Lol great thread Kim30. Well part of my answer is in that Cancer men- independent women thread started by Belks. Go look at it for my in depth answer because its wayy to much to re write lol. Omma post some stuff here tho

Ok well in my case & other good Cancers, always be sincere! Think about how you say things before yapping your gums. Never be insensitive, & wishy washy. Always try to make time for us. Make us feel needed, since Cancers are nurturing types. Always do what You say you gonna do. Never, ever lie to us, because we will find out & cut your azz a loose. Definitely don't make us do something we don't wanna do. @Kim30 this is a good start huh. Now this may not be for other Cancers, as we're all different. But it's a general guideline 🙂

Lol I meant that Cancer men thread started by Bells, Im starting to hate touch screen phones lol. But yeah, Don't expect sex either if you not willing to commit to a Cancer. At least be affectionate, love to kiss, & cuddle. Tell & show how much you love us always. If you not willing to do that or not in it for the long haul, just leave. I this is all I have for now. Hope its a good starting point. Most of us Cancers are pretty easy to please. Just be considerate of our feelings always. Im done 🙂

DO: learn how to read minds, as well as the interpretive dance steps to the "Sideways Scuttle"

DON'T: tell them you know these ^^^ things.. or that they are scuttling back and forth instead of being direct.

Ohh Yeah, Don't be running your dang mouth on social media about your relationship with a Cancer. We are private people & the whole fuqin world shouldn't know what we did on a date or etc. Lol. Unless you wanna lose a Cancer that is. So keep things between You & your partner. Its y'all relationship, mot FB & Dxp!

DO: Have patience.
DO: Have a backbone.
DO: Be emotionally contained (in the beginning)

^^If these 3 conflict, get out now.

DON'T: Push for commitment
DON'T: Trigger their sensitivity, unless you're a water sign and then it's non stop love (mind games for the rest of the zodiac) from there on out
DON'T: Assume. They'll switch their stance just because.

I'm not, I'm a Virgo.

They take a new stance because they are cardinal water. They'll flip the script on you in an instant to gain emotional footing. Not saying it's for good or bad.

I hear people talk about Scorpios and games, they cannot hold a candle to Cancers.

But Cancers mainly do it out of self preservation so they have a very good reason for it. Scorpio does it out of ego, Pisces does it because..well if I knew the answer to that I'd be rich lol.

Posted by Damnata
I'm not, I'm a Virgo.

They take a new stance because they are cardinal water. They'll flip the script on you in an instant to gain emotional footing. Not saying it's for good or bad.

I hear people talk about Scorpios and games, they cannot hold a candle to Cancers.

But Cancers mainly do it out of self preservation so they have a very good reason for it. Scorpio does it out of ego, Pisces does it because..well if I knew the answer to that I'd be rich lol.

"Scorpio does it out of ego" I cannot agree more.

Posted by Damnata
DO: Have patience.
DO: Have a backbone.
DO: Be emotionally contained (in the beginning)

^^If these 3 conflict, get out now.

DON'T: Push for commitment
DON'T: Trigger their sensitivity, unless you're a water sign and then it's non stop love (mind games for the rest of the zodiac) from there on out
DON'T: Assume. They'll switch their stance just because.

You mentioned don't push for commitment. What would a Cancer consider as pushing for commitment?

Posted by Damnata
I'm not, I'm a Virgo.

They take a new stance because they are cardinal water. They'll flip the script on you in an instant to gain emotional footing. Not saying it's for good or bad.

I hear people talk about Scorpios and games, they cannot hold a candle to Cancers.

But Cancers mainly do it out of self preservation so they have a very good reason for it. Scorpio does it out of ego, Pisces does it because..well if I knew the answer to that I'd be rich lol.

No we don't do that. ~shifty eyes~ We're very straight forward. ~looks behind drapes, furniture~ We...we...well, we certainly don't play games. We're just always right. 😄

Posted by Bells93

Posted by Damnata
DO: Have patience.
DO: Have a backbone.
DO: Be emotionally contained (in the beginning)

^^If these 3 conflict, get out now.

DON'T: Push for commitment
DON'T: Trigger their sensitivity, unless you're a water sign and then it's non stop love (mind games for the rest of the zodiac) from there on out
DON'T: Assume. They'll switch their stance just because.

You mentioned don't push for commitment. What would a Cancer consider as pushing for commitment?

click to expand

This one is tricky for me to wrap my mind around because I think they are the most commitment driven sign. You'll have to ask with the pincers for how they go around that.

In my mind it's smthg like..join them in that sidestep dance they do and reciprocate. Maybe initiate from time to time?

I think it's about feeling they're on the same page as you are. Oh and humor goes a long way with this sign, they have a zany humor of their own to match.

Posted by CluelessCancer
Do allow us some form of control some of the time. We are control freaks. It's a cardinal thing.

Do allow us to be affectionate

Do instill Trust in the relationship by being/saying/who you are

Fight for us and the relationship and we'll fight for you.

We're lazy, tell us what you need/want from us if you feel we're not fulfulling you, if we care, we'll do our best. Be open to our needs as well.

Be interesting, intelligent, cute, fun, spontaneous, yet conservative.

Do not be irresponsible unless its sexual and it's with your loved CRAB.

Like making Money.

Like family. Children.

I fulfill all that criteria.

Will you marry me?

Damnata, I'll marry you! You do the dishes and I'll cook. I hate dishes...fucking dirty dishes, filling up the sink and not staying clean.....

Yes, I have heard of this Virgo dishwasher thing 😄

I LOVE doing dishes.

I read somewhere Agatha Christie (a Virgo) thought about all the action in her books while doing dishes.

I don't doubt it! The few Virgos I know go into a cleaning spree when down or stressed and will happily do dishes in exchange for food. lol

I agree with CluelessCancer description as well. Do be assertive, but still be classy at the same time. Dress nice, & try to help with the conversation. I mean when you think about it, we Cancers don't ask for much at all compare to other signs. Also be understanding of us if we are sensitive & during our bad days. No one is perfect. So accept us as we are & try to love us despite our flaws. Its all we can ask for 🙂

@LadyOfRebirth not all Cancers play games with people un porpoise like that. Especially if its someone we xare about. I think it depends on how the person is raised

But I think the guide we provided so far is very good for getting someone started with Cancers. After that, its on you & rather you stay consistent with your loving ways.

UGH LOR, I know all that.

Don't you think I do, with my water trine (well if you count N Node, I do have all 3 water signs).

All of you people do it out of vulnerability but I didn't want to bring that point up.

You are one ruthless fish 😛

And out of the 3, I still say Cancers play the most games by a long shot.

The way I see it,

Pisces are like the rain
Scorpios are fixed water => lake
Cancers are cardinal water => waterfall.

Try standing in the rain, you won't die. In the lake, you won't die.

Try standing right beneath a waterfall, you're good as dead.

IT IS ABSOLUTELY A WATER SIGN THING.

Fine, water placements also.

So basically, a human thing we need to get over.

My stellium is in Sag BUT in the 1st house so it acts like an aries stellium.

My life would've been easier if it was in any other house than the first.

It translates to "Damned" in English. Why is it difficult?

An aqua chick thought my name was "Damante" and I was a guy lol.

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
@LadyOfRebirth not all Cancers play games with people un porpoise like that. Especially if its someone we xare about. I think it depends on how the person is raised

We do, even when raised right....we just hate to admit that ugly fact. 😛

Posted by Andalusia
DO: learn how to read minds, as well as the interpretive dance steps to the "Sideways Scuttle"

DON'T: tell them you know these ^^^ things.. or that they are scuttling back and forth instead of being direct.

I just love her! *scuttles closer*

Posted by xvll27

Posted by Damnata
An aqua chick thought my name was "Damante" and I was a guy lol.

While ago I spelled it Damndata ...

Then I realize oops ...

How did this chick think you were a guy ?

click to expand

Because Damante is a guy's name apparently? No idea.

LOR, your stellium is in the 12th? Oh man, I feel you on that.

But then again not only is my stellium in the first, Neptune is there also.

We might as well jump off a bridge together.

But the good Cancers wouldn't try to hurt someone on purpose. Maybe y'all met some bad ones before. I wouldn't generalise until you met all the Cancers.

I think page 1 & 2 is good information if you wanna date a Cancer. It is about as vlear as you can get. We aren't hard to get along with. I wouldn't judge all Cancers based on a bad experience like most people like to do. If you really wanna know a Cancer, you gotta be understanding & have patience. Try meeting one for yourself & just try to learn everything about them. Take note of it too.

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
But the good Cancers wouldn't try to hurt someone on purpose. Maybe y'all met some bad ones before. I wouldn't generalise until you met all the Cancers.

Not true. I have and I still do! If you completely fuck me over or stab me in the back then I'm cold, ruthless and....well, suffice to say that I burn the bridges. Permanently.

That's why I said on page 1, that all Cancers are different. At least I tried to help out with this thread. Anyone who see this, will that there are some good Crabs out there 🙂. Im out

WAYYYYY off topic here... back to the tangent.
Hmmmmmm..... we like body types,yes we look at u sexually. I like a fat booty and breasts.
I hate unfairness,detest it ..LOAAAAATHE it.
I lead, you follow.At times i let u lead but most of the time i am the master,let me do my thing CAPICHE?
You have to understand this one thing. this one thing for you to have me saying "dammnnn baby".COOK!
Allow me to spoil you,if not then i'm gone.
Finally money.... i will pursue it to the bitter end to make us comfortable and secure.

Lol @Redmann. Always provides the comedy. A good dude

Posted by silentkiller
Ooh ooh, I got a new one!!! NOT A CRAB THOUGH! Maybe you Guys will agree/not agree?

DO NOT mirror cancer. They will mirror you, but you cannot mirror them back if you want to "teach them a lesson" for instance. It can't be done. Because they will not get, that it is mirroring and take offense. Instead of mirroring them, you will have to always openly communicate to them, if you have a Little problem. Annoying as hell, I would say😄

I am sorry, but I have to challenge this.

Your advice only applies to Camp 1 Cancers (C1C's). Yes, we can all get into our moods from time to time, but C1C's eventually catch themselves and act right about things again.

C2C's, on the other hand, deserve whatever response they get when they act awful.

To suggest that one shouldn't give them a dose of their own medicine is FOLLY.

When C2C's misbehave, you have to communicate to them that they are BAD. Whether it is direct or indirect, let them know they are not going to be tolerated when they are terrible to you.

When a C2C is disrespectful and hurtful to you at the point where it's just not worth it anymore, you should walk and never look back.

Make them come to you with an apology. If they don't bother to try to fix things, then they are only proving they were not worth talking to in the first place.

To tolerate the rotten behavior of a C2C is only going to cause you a lifetime of pain and misery.

Stand up for yourself when they are bad.

Posted by ScorpioFish
When a C2C is disrespectful and hurtful to you at the point where it's just not worth it anymore, you should walk and never look back.

Make them come to you with an apology. If they don't bother to try to fix things, then they are only proving they were not worth talking to in the first place.

To tolerate the rotten behavior of a C2C is only going to cause you a lifetime of pain and misery.

Stand up for yourself when they are bad.

SF distinguishes between the two for a reason. He isn't saying a good representative of cancers isn't flawed. The idea is better understood if you actually know a C2.

Posted by MoonArtist
I don't doubt it! The few Virgos I know go into a cleaning spree when down or stressed and will happily do dishes in exchange for food. lol

I know a Cancer who does this. 😉

I guess I'm not virgo enough then cause the cure to my stress is napping.

Hey asshole, we missed the part where your opinion matters.

Am I hitting close to home whenever we discuss what a Camp 2 Cancer is?

Well silent killer, ScorpioFish has some what of a point. There are two types of Cancers. You got the users, manipulators of emotions types. You got the sweet, loyal do anything for you types. So you gotta meet some more Crabs before you claim all of them are up to no good. Ever thought that maybe it was the actual person you were dealing with, not their sign.

Its more complicated than that. If you met my evil cancer twin you would understand more of what he is trying to express. I'll get into that on a different thread.

I don't recall any light hearted advice.
here's something that works for a shy, nervous cancer. As an ice breaker make them do something terribly embarrassing or ridiculous and do it with them. You will of course have to consider boundaries. I've only tried with people who I knew I was connected to without question.

Posted by aquavita
so how come you are twins and she/he is evil and you are not if we shall say go by astrology? 😄 so long astrology!

aquavita, I'm kinda tired so I don't understand your question. Are you asking me how we are twins besides our birthday?

Lol aquavita just drop it. Kim30 is a good crab & that's all you need to know for now 🙂

I'm not sure I understand even still. Really I was hoping this would be a guide for dating not baass crabs. Can we move this somewhere else please?