Have I scared off this cancer by being honest?

Hi All,
I was just curious if anybody has any opinions on my situation. I met a cancer male some months back, never took that much notice in him until quite recently. When I look back now I see that he was trying to get my attention in a round about way over the course of those few months but me being a libra, I never notice these subtle things, you would have to come straight out and say it to me, even then I might not get it!!!Anyway I decided one day to initiate contact with him, straight away we clicked. Over the course of a very short time I never had so much contact with one person. I was bowled over by him and usually it takes forever for me to make a decision, I analyse and then analyse some more!! But not with this one. He told me he had been hoping to get my notice for ages and that whatever happened he had made a very valuable friend. He actually took my breath away with some of the things he said and I was trying to hold back in a big way. I was doing quite well up til recently. Initially we are both so busy that neither of us were looking for a serious relationship straight away, however he indicated on numerous occasions that when I decided he was the one, to let him know and he would put in the work. So anyway we meet for a date, amazing!!! He is so surprised by how well we get on and that I don't get annoyed by his personality. He tells me very private stuff, I feel very comfortable in his presence. Well after that he went a little quiet, not so much contact, although I had noticed him do that before when he was worried bout how I felt about him. So being a libra I decided to let him know that (and i should say i kept it very lighthearted, no pressure) I liked him and would like to see him again. I have heard nothing since. Only been a few days but compared to the contact before which was actually extremely intense. I'm not going to contact him again, damage limitation here and he certainly knows how to contact me when he wants too!! But I am wondering have I scared him off indefinitely? Any opinions would be very welcome, thanks.

I dunno if this is a cancer thing more so a female/male thing. Honesty IMO you came off a little bit too forward and aggressive, once someone professes like and love be it male or female everything shifts, it's not fun and free and flirty as it once was because now he has to THINK about if he wants to move forward beyond having a fun date or having a girlfriend and the usual reaction to that is distance from the person, many women have encountered this kind of interaction with men irregardless of sign.

Some women don't understand and comprehend how we pressure men when were trying not too, timing is everything, It's okay with exposing feelings first but women have to be prepared for anything such as him not reciprocating and/or disappearing, I don't believe we consciously say to ourselves I'm going to throw him some pressure today but something about how we address our feelings with men scream pressure, scares a man if he's only looking for something superficial and fun, emotional displays feels like pressure and most men not all but a huge majority end up running away, unfortunately there is a stigma attached to it as well, the whole she's ready to get married and have babies take my life, suck me dry, steal my freedom kind of stigma.

You can reverse this, it's not doom, lean back, don't pursue him, call him, just go on with your life and he will resurface in your life once he see your not going to chase him and now that you know how he reacts to emotional displays (he's a runner) no more of that, be patient and things will turn around.

Hi tiki33,
Thank you so much for your reply, actually you're dead right and I should know that that's what I was doing!! I suppose I got wrapped up in all the nice things he was saying and how insecure he can be sometimes that I wanted to reassure him and also let my feelings be known!! Anyway after I said what I said to him I left it, within a few days I got a reply which was grand and things are back to normal now. I hadn't scared him off but I will be much more cautious and restrained in future as regards my feelings and let him do all the talking/running. In one way at least I learnt this earlier on and won't be making the same mistake again!!!

Posted by crystallibra
Hi All,
I was just curious if anybody has any opinions on my situation. I met a cancer male some months back, never took that much notice in him until quite recently. When I look back now I see that he was trying to get my attention in a round about way over the course of those few months but me being a libra, I never notice these subtle things, you would have to come straight out and say it to me, even then I might not get it!!!Anyway I decided one day to initiate contact with him, straight away we clicked. Over the course of a very short time I never had so much contact with one person. I was bowled over by him and usually it takes forever for me to make a decision, I analyse and then analyse some more!! But not with this one. He told me he had been hoping to get my notice for ages and that whatever happened he had made a very valuable friend. He actually took my breath away with some of the things he said and I was trying to hold back in a big way. I was doing quite well up til recently. Initially we are both so busy that neither of us were looking for a serious relationship straight away, however he indicated on numerous occasions that when I decided he was the one, to let him know and he would put in the work. So anyway we meet for a date, amazing!!! He is so surprised by how well we get on and that I don't get annoyed by his personality. He tells me very private stuff, I feel very comfortable in his presence. Well after that he went a little quiet, not so much contact, although I had noticed him do that before when he was worried bout how I felt about him. So being a libra I decided to let him know that (and i should say i kept it very lighthearted, no pressure) I liked him and would like to see him again. I have heard nothing since. Only been a few days but compared to the contact before which was actually extremely intense. I'm not going to contact him again, damage limitation here and he certainly knows how to contact me when he wants too!! But I am wondering have I scared him off indefinitely? Any opinions would be very welcome, thanks.

i dont think you scared him off...cancer men ive known many im a cancer and my friend was a cancer...but since hes being really honest with you thats a good thing, my cancer male friend he was the type to stay hidden in his shell...and when i speak for all cancers male and female its a difficult thing for u

Maybe cancer males are way diff than females, but it's hard to just be upfront and declarative with someone. If I don't get serious feedback, I'll drop it. That was my first thought when i read that he went silent for a few days. That maybe he felt embarassed that he professed feelings for you and was hoping for something more definitive by way of reply.

I'll usually give someone a couple tries, if I really really like them, and hopefully that's what he's doing. Obviously, cancers are very intense people, and the intelligent ones are aware that this can put most people off. When we find someone who can handle that intensity, it's almost like it's too good to be true, so we set up little hurdles for the other person to navigate, just to make sure they really are ok with the intensity.

There's a point where that man-chase-woman thing is just plain silly. Everyone is different, and some guys are just not cavemen. You have to try a few angles before you find common language, and it's worth it for the right person.