Have you ever cheated on your partner?
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by gemini_82grl on Monday, January 28, 2008 and has 14 replies.
Question for EVERYONE!!!!!
Have you ever cheated?
Why do you think you cheated?
Do you belive that once a cheater always a cheater or can a person change his/her ways?
Do you still cheat now?
Have you ever cheated?
Why do you think you cheated?
Do you belive that once a cheater always a cheater or can a person change his/her ways?
Do you still cheat now?
No I have never cheated but I know people who have.
Its usually because they are getting bored of the current relationship but they are also too scared of ending it due to guilt, being alone..etc. Being in a relationship and cheating enables a person to have their cake and to eat it. Its comfortable. They know they have their bf/gf as a safety net.
Some people cheat because the one they are with is not the one they are IN love with. Sparks have died out.. etc. Maybe they have found another who they really love?
Its usually because they are getting bored of the current relationship but they are also too scared of ending it due to guilt, being alone..etc. Being in a relationship and cheating enables a person to have their cake and to eat it. Its comfortable. They know they have their bf/gf as a safety net.
Some people cheat because the one they are with is not the one they are IN love with. Sparks have died out.. etc. Maybe they have found another who they really love?
I don't cheat....but I do think some people are just cheaters not sure why but they are.
On another note, some people are considered cheaters by others because they want more than the person is willing to give.
On another note, some people are considered cheaters by others because they want more than the person is willing to give.
sorry - clicked on the wrong thread
Not ALL people are cheaters and it depends on what you call a cheater. Sexually or emotionally. Society makes us think that once we are with a mate, you have to be devoted, loyal, faithful, blah..blah...however, if you are not married to that one particular person, you are not a cheater! Many people don't realize the concept so they get cheated on constantly because the other person may not want to be the husband or wife to the other person.
TO answer your question, if I have communicated with the person I am with that I want an exclusive relationship with them and they have related to me that they don't want anyone else to have me, no I will not cheat. I believe mates can have male/female friends while in a relationship that they can talk to or confide in emotionally and I don't consider the my mate being a cheater if he shares his emotions, thoughts or beliefs with another person of the opposite sex. I personally call it human and you have a RIGHT to do what you want to do without feeling like mate is jealous or possessive of your freedom to express yourself to someone other than you(mate).
TO answer your question, if I have communicated with the person I am with that I want an exclusive relationship with them and they have related to me that they don't want anyone else to have me, no I will not cheat. I believe mates can have male/female friends while in a relationship that they can talk to or confide in emotionally and I don't consider the my mate being a cheater if he shares his emotions, thoughts or beliefs with another person of the opposite sex. I personally call it human and you have a RIGHT to do what you want to do without feeling like mate is jealous or possessive of your freedom to express yourself to someone other than you(mate).
I wonder, if we all believed that we had no responsibility to someone who was not our husband/wife how would any of us ever get to the point of being married?...........
and to answer your question gemini girl - only once. When I was 16 and in high school. The phrase "young and stupid" comes to mind. At the time I felt validated because my boyfriend kept telling me that his mother didn't like me and he should go find a girl his own age at college [he was 18] so I felt neglected and unloved, but very shortly after I realized how much he really did love me, and also realized that no matter how neglected I felt there was NO excuse for what I did. I should have ended the relationship- but not cheated...
People who cheat have NO respect for other people. There is absolutely no reason to ever cheat. Unless someone is holding a gun to your head, or your partners....and how many of us have ever found outselves in that situation?
If you want/need to be with someone else - even for a night - then you shouldn't be with the person you call your significant other. And it doesn't matter how serious the relationship is. I'm disgusted by people who date more than one person at a time saying they are deciding....sorry if that applies to anyone here but it's wrong. The idea behind dating is to see how you feel about someone, and hopefully with the intention of becoming more serious. How can you build a relationship with someone that way? How can there ever be trust?
I don't necessarily think once a cheater always a cheater - some people learn their lesson, like I did. But habitual cheaters....well it's ingrained in them - like I said they have no respect for other people.... who is so meglomaniacal that they believe they deserve to have more than one person at a time and that it should be acceptable?
I see a lot on this board about people not "owing" anyone anything... well I think if they are giving you their trust and their fidelity you DO owe them that in return....
People who cheat have NO respect for other people. There is absolutely no reason to ever cheat. Unless someone is holding a gun to your head, or your partners....and how many of us have ever found outselves in that situation?
If you want/need to be with someone else - even for a night - then you shouldn't be with the person you call your significant other. And it doesn't matter how serious the relationship is. I'm disgusted by people who date more than one person at a time saying they are deciding....sorry if that applies to anyone here but it's wrong. The idea behind dating is to see how you feel about someone, and hopefully with the intention of becoming more serious. How can you build a relationship with someone that way? How can there ever be trust?
I don't necessarily think once a cheater always a cheater - some people learn their lesson, like I did. But habitual cheaters....well it's ingrained in them - like I said they have no respect for other people.... who is so meglomaniacal that they believe they deserve to have more than one person at a time and that it should be acceptable?
I see a lot on this board about people not "owing" anyone anything... well I think if they are giving you their trust and their fidelity you DO owe them that in return....
I don't necessarily think once a cheater always a cheater - some people learn their lesson, like I did. But habitual cheaters....well it's ingrained in them - like I said they have no respect for other people.... who is so meglomaniacal that they believe they deserve to have more than one person at a time and that it should be acceptable?
I will agree with the once a cheater always a cheater, no that is not true. You can learn from your mistakes and see the other person as valuable and can change for one particular person. People date other people only if they feel that the person they are with is not their soul mate or a match for them in their love lives.
I will agree with the once a cheater always a cheater, no that is not true. You can learn from your mistakes and see the other person as valuable and can change for one particular person. People date other people only if they feel that the person they are with is not their soul mate or a match for them in their love lives.
anglefish- I think if I were in that situation of the unloved part I would have went somewhere else too.
My ex cap's family didnt like me but he always chose me over them that is why I never had a problem. He loved me with all his heart and i knew that. He always reasured me that his family's opinion didnt matter because he was the one I was with. And with a cap that meens alot for them to turn there back on the family opinion.
If he would have done the oposite Im sure I would have went else where.
My ex cap's family didnt like me but he always chose me over them that is why I never had a problem. He loved me with all his heart and i knew that. He always reasured me that his family's opinion didnt matter because he was the one I was with. And with a cap that meens alot for them to turn there back on the family opinion.
If he would have done the oposite Im sure I would have went else where.
I did it once in high school. Will never forget the look on her face. I felt like shit for a long time. I'll never forget that feeling when it happened to me.
funny you say that gemini82, the ex I'm talking about was a cap....
not getting what you want from a relationship is NOT an excuse for cheating.....if you're not getting what you want, face it and end the relationship - don't cheat. Saying that people date other people because the one they are with is not their match or soul mate is making excuses - if they aren't your match then end the relationship, don't keep them hanging on while you look around for better options....
not getting what you want from a relationship is NOT an excuse for cheating.....if you're not getting what you want, face it and end the relationship - don't cheat. Saying that people date other people because the one they are with is not their match or soul mate is making excuses - if they aren't your match then end the relationship, don't keep them hanging on while you look around for better options....
Once-when i was a teenager...and I felt so badly that I never did again. I have been tempted over the years-but I didn't do it-more because I couldn't live with my own guilt, than anything else.
lol Hay AB.
I have never cheated...shoot I feel guilty talking to more than one guy when Im single.
Its a horrible feeling when you find that you've been cheated on or betrayed and I would NEVER inflict that on someone no matter how many times it has happened to me or even if they did it to me.
I do think cheaters can change, but only after they reach a point of maturation and self restraint.
I think people cheat because they lack a sense of loyalty and they have NO empathy or consideration. You might have to be married to be committed, but you dont have to be married to be loyal or faithful. And too many people dont believe that you get what you give or what comes around goes around. My wanting a good strong relationship based on loyalty and fidelity keeps me from giving anything less because I honestly dont believe you can pay a dollar and expect to get something that cost a million.
I have never cheated...shoot I feel guilty talking to more than one guy when Im single.
Its a horrible feeling when you find that you've been cheated on or betrayed and I would NEVER inflict that on someone no matter how many times it has happened to me or even if they did it to me.
I do think cheaters can change, but only after they reach a point of maturation and self restraint.
I think people cheat because they lack a sense of loyalty and they have NO empathy or consideration. You might have to be married to be committed, but you dont have to be married to be loyal or faithful. And too many people dont believe that you get what you give or what comes around goes around. My wanting a good strong relationship based on loyalty and fidelity keeps me from giving anything less because I honestly dont believe you can pay a dollar and expect to get something that cost a million.
you don't have to be married to be committed either - you can be committed to someone and not be married.....
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