He puts me through alot and still I love him......
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by ladii_pisces05 on Tuesday, May 8, 2007 and has 24 replies.
I'm a pisces woman who's so in love with my cancer man. But loving him is killing me. I feel so emotionally drained. He plays these mind games and he plays it well. He stops calling and when I call no answer. Doesn't text me back, even when I tell him I miss him. And when we do talk, he acts different and gives me a hard time. I know sometimes he just likes to get under my skin and see me boil. But I'm tired of that plus we never see each other. I've told him many times he's pushing me away from him and he says no he's not. But my biggest thing with him is FEELINGS. One day I asked him if he loved me and he said "You know that answer." No I don't, I'm not a mind reader. I tell him so many times that I'm confused with him because he can never give me a straight answer about how he's feeling and what's going on in his life.
Recently I told him, I was letting go because I didn't want to get hurt anymore than I already was. That's not what I told him but he asked me why was I letting go and I told him that he was always the one to say it wasn't going to work and he was right. I got frustrated and pissed because all he said after that was okay. OKAY??? I felt like he was easily letting me go because he didn't care or love me. So I sent him nothing but "hate" messages. Not that I hate him, but like "oh you never loved me. i wish i never met you." Ever since then I've been writing him and calling and he doesn't answers. I knew I messed up when I said that.
Last night we talked and he said that I let him go because of a dumb ass reason. I know he thinks it's because of the phone thing, but no it's more than that. It's my feelings and still he has over looked that after I told him I was hurt. I apologized for the mean things I said, but he didn't apologize for my hurt feelings. Then he tells me the things I said didn't hurt him. I felt so stupid because I was aplogizing for it and for things that weren't my fault. Now he goes back to ignoring me. I love him but he needs to stop acting insensitive. I don't want to let him go, I'm just not ready for that. But the more I tell him how I feel it seems like he doesn't get it.... I want him in my life but I know it's going to be difficult to get him back. But it's funny how he turned himself into the victim when I was the one hurting.
Recently I told him, I was letting go because I didn't want to get hurt anymore than I already was. That's not what I told him but he asked me why was I letting go and I told him that he was always the one to say it wasn't going to work and he was right. I got frustrated and pissed because all he said after that was okay. OKAY??? I felt like he was easily letting me go because he didn't care or love me. So I sent him nothing but "hate" messages. Not that I hate him, but like "oh you never loved me. i wish i never met you." Ever since then I've been writing him and calling and he doesn't answers. I knew I messed up when I said that.
Last night we talked and he said that I let him go because of a dumb ass reason. I know he thinks it's because of the phone thing, but no it's more than that. It's my feelings and still he has over looked that after I told him I was hurt. I apologized for the mean things I said, but he didn't apologize for my hurt feelings. Then he tells me the things I said didn't hurt him. I felt so stupid because I was aplogizing for it and for things that weren't my fault. Now he goes back to ignoring me. I love him but he needs to stop acting insensitive. I don't want to let him go, I'm just not ready for that. But the more I tell him how I feel it seems like he doesn't get it.... I want him in my life but I know it's going to be difficult to get him back. But it's funny how he turned himself into the victim when I was the one hurting.
If I'm not mistaken this is typical Cancer behavior. What I'm not clear on though is why when you women tell these men Ex-"I hate you, leave me alone, I'm leaving you alone don't call me, I won't call you! " you turn RIGHT around and call! Of course they are gonna act like "the world is theirs" if you go back on your word! Why not? Now you are kissing their ass after you told them to kiss yours.
People have to learn to stand by their word. Actions also speak louder than words. Don't let ya man run you. If you are angry. Be angry. If you weren't officially done but rather just hurt and disappointed you should have left it at that and walked away. Left him alone for a couple of days and then came back to him. Next time just chose your words carefully.
The tongue is our worst damn enemy!
FYI he is probably just as hurt as you are but masks it better.
People have to learn to stand by their word. Actions also speak louder than words. Don't let ya man run you. If you are angry. Be angry. If you weren't officially done but rather just hurt and disappointed you should have left it at that and walked away. Left him alone for a couple of days and then came back to him. Next time just chose your words carefully.
The tongue is our worst damn enemy!
FYI he is probably just as hurt as you are but masks it better.
Awww....I feel your pain and sounds like my cancer guy. One piece of advice I can give u is to stop expressing your feelings to him and keep him guessing. He will wonder what happened and will come around. He will be confused by this.
It's really hard to deal with these guys and u have to make the decision if you "want" to deal with it because it is so draining at times when they are in their moods.
I can definately say stop tryng to make him feel bad with the text messages and the things you say as far as you don't love me. Even though he says it doesnt hurt him, it does. Cancers are very sensitive and hurting him will only cause him to ignore you even more.
I know, easier said than done....I was venting on this board about the very same thing last night. So just take it easy and he will come around if he really does love you, and I'm sure he does since he has given u the time to actually speak to u.
It's really hard to deal with these guys and u have to make the decision if you "want" to deal with it because it is so draining at times when they are in their moods.
I can definately say stop tryng to make him feel bad with the text messages and the things you say as far as you don't love me. Even though he says it doesnt hurt him, it does. Cancers are very sensitive and hurting him will only cause him to ignore you even more.
I know, easier said than done....I was venting on this board about the very same thing last night. So just take it easy and he will come around if he really does love you, and I'm sure he does since he has given u the time to actually speak to u.
"The tongue is our worst damn enemy! "
Lol Karima, I'm sure with your scorpio nature you've let out many tongue lashings
Lol Karima, I'm sure with your scorpio nature you've let out many tongue lashings
OMG!!!! This is so very true. Karima girl you are right on the money!!! The tongue is extremely dangerous.
I think sometimes we as women will bluff and expect the guy to come running after us, and when he doesnt come begging for us back immediately, we then go back on our word and appear weaker we really are. The best thing is just to either stand by our word or not allow our tongues to get the best of us, by saying things that we really dont mean, to begin with.. Agghhh but its so hard!!!!!
Oooohhh its such a tricky game. I am the queen of getting mad/hurt and allowing my tongue to write a check my butt cant cash!!!! LOL.
Ladii....just wait it out and see what happens. I hate to say it....but if he really cares and wants to be with you he will come around and realize what a phenomenal woman he has!
I know it easier said than down, but thats your best bet. Good luck!
I think sometimes we as women will bluff and expect the guy to come running after us, and when he doesnt come begging for us back immediately, we then go back on our word and appear weaker we really are. The best thing is just to either stand by our word or not allow our tongues to get the best of us, by saying things that we really dont mean, to begin with.. Agghhh but its so hard!!!!!
Oooohhh its such a tricky game. I am the queen of getting mad/hurt and allowing my tongue to write a check my butt cant cash!!!! LOL.
Ladii....just wait it out and see what happens. I hate to say it....but if he really cares and wants to be with you he will come around and realize what a phenomenal woman he has!
I know it easier said than down, but thats your best bet. Good luck!I give out the tongue lashing when I have had enough. You have to learn to put yourself in that persons shoes. You can't just say whatever you want whenever you want all the time. That is how people's program gets out of whack...
The things you say to someone else-Would you like it if they said them to you? (Hypothetical Question of course) We say many, many things out of anger. Which is why as hard as it may be...sometime you have to take a breath. Think and Think again and then revist the problem. Once you think you may come to the realization it is not even worth your time or effort to be angry.
Lady Scorp and Maianm
Hi Girls
The things you say to someone else-Would you like it if they said them to you? (Hypothetical Question of course) We say many, many things out of anger. Which is why as hard as it may be...sometime you have to take a breath. Think and Think again and then revist the problem. Once you think you may come to the realization it is not even worth your time or effort to be angry.
Lady Scorp and Maianm
Hi Girls 
"I think sometimes we as women will bluff and expect the guy to come running after us, and when he doesnt come begging for us back immediately, we then go back on our word and appear weaker we really are. The best thing is just to either stand by our word or not allow our tongues to get the best of us, by saying things that we really dont mean, to begin with.. Agghhh but its so hard!!!!!"
Maianm lol you are so right. I get to a point where I will say things just to make him feel something and in the end I feel so stupid, and weak. He sits there with the nochalant attitude, or laughs at me and that makes it worst. It's so hard to hold back.
Maianm lol you are so right. I get to a point where I will say things just to make him feel something and in the end I feel so stupid, and weak. He sits there with the nochalant attitude, or laughs at me and that makes it worst. It's so hard to hold back.
i am a cancer man and i say walk away and let him be. no one deserves to be unhappy regardless of your sign. he must be a young cancer because i can remember playing games back in the day but as i am getting older i see no room for them anymore. people just need to be open and honest with each other. keep your dignity and respect in tact and cut ties with him for a while. male cancers can be prideful but after a little time to think we usually realize we were wrong. by not contacting him you will send a message you are not playing around anymore and he needs to stop acting like a jerk plus it will give him a chance to see how good he had it. plus you know us crabs find it hard to let things go. just remember that you are worth more and life is to short to be putting up with other peoples issues or bull****.
hey krobe long time not talk :-) krobe hits a lot of good points. you have to remember that with a cancer man we like security. so depending on how much we feel we are getting from the other person we might take advantage of that sometimes. this goes with how long we have known you and how much we think we can get away with. so you need to take that security away from him by disappearing for a while. you have to be strong and committed to breaking him down. he will play your game for a while to show you he is as strong as you but after a while that need for security kicks back in and i bet he will start throwing feelers out to you to see if it is safe to get back in the water..
Thank you, I appreciate everybody's feedback. I want him in my life so I'm just going to have to pick up the pieces and keep it moving. I'm a start biting my tongue (thanks alot dad lol) and give him his space. But the only thing I'm afraid is that when I give him his space he's not going to come back. And if he does, what if it's too late and I moved on, that would tear my heart apart. I'm still upset because I feel like why am I taking all the blame and feeling bad. I said what I said and I was wrong. He did what he did.....???? nothing. His actions caused me to say those things, but I'm paying for it ....that hurts.
ladii, i understand you feel bad for what you said and believe me that is what happened in my last relationship. i was very frustrated and said some things that i regret but i also felt i deserved better. it takes two to make a relationship so you said you were sorry so he has to forgive you and do his part but most of all learn to forgive yourself. trust me he will not forget you and if you happen to move on then it wasn't meant to be and hopefully you moved on with someone who can make you happy and treat you the way you want to be treated. yes stop taking all the blame and throw some responsibility back on him. i know it hurts now but in the long run you will be a lot stronger and two things will happen. you will find someone who will cherish you or you will get back together and have a stronger relationship. i am in no way condoning breaking up with someone if things can be worked out but you have to take care of yourself first and foremost. no one can make you happy but you!
Hey Karima! Whats up girly!!!
Cansir...quick question. I have been dating a Cancer male for about a month now but we have spent time with each other 3 times...b/c of past scheduling conflicts, but we starting to see each other more now. Anyway, he has not even tried to kiss me yet. Does this sound weird.
He likes to cuddle and I know he thinks that I am attractive..what do you think?
Cansir...quick question. I have been dating a Cancer male for about a month now but we have spent time with each other 3 times...b/c of past scheduling conflicts, but we starting to see each other more now. Anyway, he has not even tried to kiss me yet. Does this sound weird.
He likes to cuddle and I know he thinks that I am attractive..what do you think?
maianm, i remember when i first started dating my ex wife it took me a long time before i kissed her. when we got married she asked me what took me so long to kiss her and i told her i had to feel comfortable with her. she also told me she started to think something was wrong with her..lol. granted we were both very young.
yall have been dating a month and have only spent 3 times together so no i would say that isn't weird. a male cancer has to feel things out and really get comfortable with someone before he starts letting down his guard a bit which includes physical contact. remember the cancer theme is security and we don't like rejection. if he feels he is going in for the kill to early, and is attracted to you, and you reject him then he will be crushed so i think he is taking his time which is due to the little amount of time you two have spent with each other so far. you all are still getting to know eaach other so just be a little more patient and he will make a move and when he does you will be glad you waited. if not you could always jump his bones and i am sure he will get the hint
yall have been dating a month and have only spent 3 times together so no i would say that isn't weird. a male cancer has to feel things out and really get comfortable with someone before he starts letting down his guard a bit which includes physical contact. remember the cancer theme is security and we don't like rejection. if he feels he is going in for the kill to early, and is attracted to you, and you reject him then he will be crushed so i think he is taking his time which is due to the little amount of time you two have spent with each other so far. you all are still getting to know eaach other so just be a little more patient and he will make a move and when he does you will be glad you waited. if not you could always jump his bones and i am sure he will get the hint
Cansir
I just wanted to say thank you, because you have been very helpful and understanding of my situation. I'm just glad that somebody understands that I shouldn't take all the blame. That just relieves me and makes me realize that I should just start taking care of me.
I'll be waiting for him, but he better not make me wait forever.
I just wanted to say thank you, because you have been very helpful and understanding of my situation. I'm just glad that somebody understands that I shouldn't take all the blame. That just relieves me and makes me realize that I should just start taking care of me.
I'll be waiting for him, but he better not make me wait forever.
I know I should wait until he comes around, but I have this urge of wanting to call him. I'm impatient.....
Hang in there Ladii....don't call yet. It will just piss u off if u call and he doesnt answer.
Keep yourself busy and take care of yourself.
Keep yourself busy and take care of yourself.
I'm hanging in there. I feel asleep during a text I was going to send him. So that happened for a reason, because if I was going send it then I know I would have felt like an asshole. I feel great this morning, I'm go running...
ladii_pisces05
Yeah hang in there. I know how U feel. When I am not busy I do want to text Mr. Cancer. However, I find something else to do. I USED to B impatient. However, I have learned how to have patience over the years. SO tough it out. My Cancer sometimes does not pick up either. However, I wait 4 a couple of weeks B4 i get back in touch. Then he picks up because he knows that I space calls out. However, HE wants U to get mad. He wants U to stalk. I think it is a security mechanism. However, don't do it. Just let him come around. Or pop up somewhere U Think he will B. This usually splits his wig! LOL! Throws him way off balance.
Yeah hang in there. I know how U feel. When I am not busy I do want to text Mr. Cancer. However, I find something else to do. I USED to B impatient. However, I have learned how to have patience over the years. SO tough it out. My Cancer sometimes does not pick up either. However, I wait 4 a couple of weeks B4 i get back in touch. Then he picks up because he knows that I space calls out. However, HE wants U to get mad. He wants U to stalk. I think it is a security mechanism. However, don't do it. Just let him come around. Or pop up somewhere U Think he will B. This usually splits his wig! LOL! Throws him way off balance.
I'm giving up. I can't deal with him anymore. Saturday I texted him and said I missed him. He didn't even answer me, but Sunday I tell him to wish his mother a Happy Mother's Day. HE RESPONDED! and I know he only did that to not be disrespectful. Last night I texted him and still nothing. I know I broke the rule of giving him his space, but he ignored me for a whole week. That's enough. I'm not in the mood anymore to keep playing his game.
I'm tired of waiting until he comes around. Comes around off of some b.s, I said one hurtful thing and I'm the bad guy. He ignores me, hurts my feelings countless times, and takes me on this emotional rollercoaster because he's in denial of his feelings. But I'm the one feeling bad and apologizing...
I know moodiness and everything else is part of his Cancer nature, but it's time that he starts admiting when he's wrong. If he was to come back to me our problem will always be there. I hope he doesn't think that everytime we get into it, he runs away and I'll be wait until he comes back. I think not.
One of these days he's going to come running back and I won't be there.
As much as it hurts me to not be there....
I'm tired of waiting until he comes around. Comes around off of some b.s, I said one hurtful thing and I'm the bad guy. He ignores me, hurts my feelings countless times, and takes me on this emotional rollercoaster because he's in denial of his feelings. But I'm the one feeling bad and apologizing...
I know moodiness and everything else is part of his Cancer nature, but it's time that he starts admiting when he's wrong. If he was to come back to me our problem will always be there. I hope he doesn't think that everytime we get into it, he runs away and I'll be wait until he comes back. I think not.
One of these days he's going to come running back and I won't be there.
As much as it hurts me to not be there....
I'm tired of waiting until he comes around. Comes around off of some b.s, I said one hurtful thing and I'm the bad guy. He ignores me, hurts my feelings countless times, and takes me on this emotional rollercoaster because he's in denial of his feelings. But I'm the one feeling bad and apologizing...
I know moodiness and everything else is part of his Cancer nature, but it's time that he starts admiting when he's wrong. If he was to come back to me our problem will always be there. I hope he doesn't think that everytime we get into it, he runs away and I'll be wait until he comes back. I think not.
Ladii_pisces05
Hey, I personally suggest U do not wait around! Period. I know they say Cancers want faithful women, blah..blah however, U R young enjoy your life. Date. C other people. U don't have to get personally attached to ANY other male. However, keep the door open 4 him if U want him to B a part of your life. They say Cancer men love faithful women however, they love women that have a man too! 2 me U attract them even more. LOL! I know people say I am sick and all however, I have a man and my Cancer friend knows it. He still comes around.
I know moodiness and everything else is part of his Cancer nature, but it's time that he starts admiting when he's wrong. If he was to come back to me our problem will always be there. I hope he doesn't think that everytime we get into it, he runs away and I'll be wait until he comes back. I think not.
Ladii_pisces05
Hey, I personally suggest U do not wait around! Period. I know they say Cancers want faithful women, blah..blah however, U R young enjoy your life. Date. C other people. U don't have to get personally attached to ANY other male. However, keep the door open 4 him if U want him to B a part of your life. They say Cancer men love faithful women however, they love women that have a man too! 2 me U attract them even more. LOL! I know people say I am sick and all however, I have a man and my Cancer friend knows it. He still comes around.
Ladii_pisces05
Oh I forgot to mention he still wants to B my man despite the fact! He acts good now 2. I have been putting him on hold 4 sometime. He still comes around 4 more rounds. I think that is Y I like him so much. LOL! He asked me the other night when was I going to leave my man 4 him.
Oh I forgot to mention he still wants to B my man despite the fact! He acts good now 2. I have been putting him on hold 4 sometime. He still comes around 4 more rounds. I think that is Y I like him so much. LOL! He asked me the other night when was I going to leave my man 4 him.
I'm still done with him. It's been over a month since we last talked and I'm still bothered by it. A couple of days ago, I asked my cousin to pose as somebody different and to talk to him. To only see if he was really true with me, after all I've had feelings for him for a year and a half.
Yes, I know I'm wrong for setting him up but what ever. I'm angry to find out that he's opening up to a complete stranger, telling her things he'd never tell me. Talking for hours. He told her why he doesn't really want to be in a serious relationship. He hasn't found the one yet.
HELLO! I could have sworn that I was, not to long ago. I just can't believe that somebody who used to tell me they loved me, couldn't even be real with me. I texted him today to say hi and he didn't say anything.
Yes, I know I'm wrong for setting him up but what ever. I'm angry to find out that he's opening up to a complete stranger, telling her things he'd never tell me. Talking for hours. He told her why he doesn't really want to be in a serious relationship. He hasn't found the one yet.
HELLO! I could have sworn that I was, not to long ago. I just can't believe that somebody who used to tell me they loved me, couldn't even be real with me. I texted him today to say hi and he didn't say anything.
Ladii, I'm so sorry to hear that and I know your hurting but you will be just fine. Instead of focusing on that situation, focus on picking urself back up and moving on with your life.
U can do it girl!
U can do it girl!
"Never heard a Cancer say he was wrong, unless it is to shut you up :-)"
Never say never! The other day she said straight out to me, "I'm sorry." and I couldnt believe it!
Never say never! The other day she said straight out to me, "I'm sorry." and I couldnt believe it!
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