Let me start off by saying, I absolutely love Cancer men and sadly that seems to be my problem. My first love was a Cancer and I loved him with all I had. After a year, he ended up breaking my heart and it took me many years to get over it. In fact, I don't know if I'll ever be completely over it. When you experience a love like that, it changes you forever. Well fast forward to seven years later and another Cancer man found me. And of course, I fell head over heels in love...
During the year we were together, we constantly made time for one another. I was always driving down to see him and we were always just happy being together. He never failed to sweep me up off of my feet with how sweet he was. The only problem is that he wasn't all that great at communicating in person. Which brings us to his dark addiction and that is alcohol. He relied on alcohol to make him more outgoing. So sadly he was never very talkative unless it was through messages or when he wasn't sober. That was a big problem in our relationship, but I was so blinded by love that I didn't care.
We had always talked about the future and made plans. I honestly thought he was the man I was going to marry and he always told me that he could see me being the mother of his children. Three weeks ago, I get a text from him saying that he went to a strip club with his friends the night before. I felt really hurt by it, but I was willing to look past it. He kept apologizing and promising me that he would never hurt me like that ever again. He said that he never wanted to lose me because of his stupid self. Fast forward to several days later, he comes up to visit me. He seemed like something was off, but he insisted that he was just tired. The whole day he was quieter than usual, but I tried not to let it get to me. He offered to take me to dinner and a movie, so we went and had a good time.
After the movie, he told me he wasn't going to spend the night again. He said he had to work early the next day and didn't want to drive back in the morning. Right then and there, my stomach dropped. The bad feeling in my stomach was spreading like wildfire. Something wasn't right. So, I asked him flat out, "Seriously, what is going on?" He got all quiet and started saying that he had realized that it's not working between us. I asked him if it was about the strip club and he said that was part of it. He said he wouldn't have went there if he had been truly happy with me...
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What solidified that fact to him was that he said he had stayed up the other night talking to some other girl. Right then and there, I lost it.
I couldn't stop crying and freaking out. My whole world was crashing around me. I kept asking him why and what did I do wrong? He just kept insisting it was all his faut and he didn't want to hurt me anymore. I have never felt more confused or betrayed in my life.
What makes all of this even worse is that I was supposed to move in with him this upcoming week.
He did all of this just two weeks before. He said it was better this way because he knew it would eventually not work out. And he said he had just realized the day before he broke up with me. Seriously?! How do you throw away a year of love in a matter of a day?! Especially when he had told me just two days before the breakup that he loved me and that was never going to change. He said that he wanted to live together because he definitely saw a future with me. Yet he turns around and just leaves me. I am obviously not doing very well since this happened. It'll be a week tomorrow and I'm still falling apart. I thought I had finally found the one for me and now everything just feels like a lie.
So please, if anyone can give me some guidance on what happened here, I would greatly appreciate it. I thought Cancers and Scorpios are supposed to be one of the greatest matches. And it definitely felt that way, but now I wonder if I should just stay away from them now? For they are the only ones who seem to make me happier than I've ever been and then be able to completely break me out of nowhere? I will appreciate any insight on this. Thank you so very much. Oh and I'm sorry this is so long. Can you tell that I'm a mess? Haha.
Scorpio/Cancer is definitely a great match. He seems like he doesn't understand how valuable of a relationship he had with you. He may be still immature in his sign and most Cancers who are immature tend to seek higher or different levels of energy (grass is greener syndrome). He's basically testing his limits. Scorpios have great compatible energy for Cancers. It's peaceful and stable; however, peaceful and stable can equal complacency. It will make a Cancer man seek something more, not knowing that he has it perfect right where he is. But don't worry......he'll DEFINITELY regret it. Once he feels that empty spot in heart. He'll feel like a valuable piece of himself is missing.......
Thank you so much for answering, I truly appreciate it. We really were an amazing match and it honestly felt like he was my soulmate, which is why all of this is just killing me... I think you are absolutely right though, he must not be mature enough yet for a stable relationship. He just turned 27 and I had hoped that would be a suitable age for him to settle down. After all he was the one who asked me to move in with him. So maybe he got cold feet about it?
I just found the timing awfully strange. We had been waiting a year to finally be together and then he just sabotages everything at the last minute? Oh and I found out that the girl he is talking to is someone that his friend often hooked up with! I feel as if maybe I didn't know him at all... Was I in love with a lie this whole time? Also is it common for Cancer men to have issues with alcohol?
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Jun 26, 2015Comments: 0 · Posts: 246 · Topics: 22
Sounds very much like the worst version of an immature cancer. Cancer traits aside... Why would you want to be someone with a drinking problem? If I were you I'd be taking this as a blessing. I know but the heart wants what it wants but believe me you saved yourself tears of heartache. Try to recover and overcome dear.
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Sep 07, 2011Comments: 298 · Posts: 5049 · Topics: 48
Awww this is very sad. Well thank goodness you didn't move in with him. He seems really immature and confused. And a total block head if he's playing games.
Do you have any friends in another town nearby? Maybe you should take off and go on an adventure with them.
Do you think the distance also made him complacent? Before all of this went down, I was in Arizona for two months. He seemed sort of distant then by not responding to my text messages a lot of the time and was always going out drinking with his friends. He told me that he was trying to get his drinking habit all out of the way. So then he wouldn't be drinking as much when we lived together. The girl he is talking to is a Virgo and she isn't 21 yet. Perhaps he prefers her over me because she drinks and I hardly do. I think you're right about the different energy being appealing to him. His first love was also a Scorpio and I don't think he ever truly got over her. And then his last two relationships before me only lasted a year also and they were with a Sagittarius and a Gemini. They both ended up breaking his heart. So again there is the whole opposites appeal.
I do regret reaching out to him at all because anything he has said to me has only made me question my heart even more. I am done reaching out to him though. I will take your advice and just leave him be. I just wonder why this has happened to me twice with a Cancer man. They love me so deeply and then end up leaving me out of nowhere. They always end up jumping into another relationship afterwards as well. Is it something I'm doing or were they both just immature in their sign? Oh if only I knew his whole chart...
That definitely makes sense. The only time he would ever really talk to me and open up was if alcohol was involved. He told me that since he is shy, he likes how drinking makes him more outgoing. And I think he has become seriously addicted to that feeling. He had told me before that the last two relationships he had before me, all started because he met them when he was drinking. And he did end up living with both of them, only to have them leave him shortly after because of his drinking. So I know he has been hurt, but I had always stuck by him no matter what. I just never truly realized how much of an alcoholic he is, but I was so terribly blinded by love.
I guess I didn't even think about him being immature, because of how serious he always was with me. I used to believe we made such an amazing couple because we just fit together so well. And everything he told me were things that I have been waiting to hear my entire life. For me with Cancer men, it has always just been effortless in relationships with them. And that's why I am so crushed because after my first relationship with a Cancer was so lifechanging, yet also heartbreaking, I had been longing to find another relationship like that. So when another Cancer found me, I felt that for sure I had gotten it right this time. If I could end up with a Cancer man in the end, I feel that I truly would have a happy life. I'm just really scared to ever get involved with one again though. Is it true that Cancer men are never truly satisfied and are always looking for the next best thing? And do they end up cheating after all? I'd like to believe that isn't the case.
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Jun 09, 2015Comments: 14 · Posts: 541 · Topics: 15
instead of absolutely loving cancer men, how about taking some time and absolutely loving yourself? when you achieve that, you'll know what you will and wont tolerate. let trash go and focus on yourself. that's the only remedy.
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Nov 21, 2013Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87
His sign has nothing to do with his behavior on drinking and wanting to talk to (or more?) other women. He gave you what you wanted to have and to hear. Either he's very immature, or he's a complete fraud. The fact that he needs to drink to be social is a huge red flag.
I'm sorry you're hurting with this, but you're still really young (you don't feel that way now, but you will when you look back in 20 yrs). Perspective is everything! At least you didn't get saddled to an alcoholic.