HELP WITH A CANCER WOMAN PLEASE.

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by BULLDAWG37 on Thursday, August 9, 2018 and has 13 replies.
I have looked for answers and have come up empty. I dated this woman (37) for 5 years. I bought her a new car. We bought a house together. We started having issues about 6 months before she left me. The biggest issue was that she would not communicate with me. She could not tell me that she did when she made a mistake. She would forget to pay a bill and the gas would get cut off instead of coming to me and letting me know. Around the end of April I noticed she stopped tagging me in things on social media that I was with her at. She got distant but suggested we go to church and counseling. We went to both. Found a church we both loved and a counselor that we saw once each. We agreed that he could discuss with the other person what was said. The counslor told us that he did not see any major issues and with some small communication exercises we would be perfect. She stated that I had anger issues but the counselor stated that I did not but I could cope a little better so I worked on that and got a lot better. I thought thisng were better, in fact I had a ring since the first of the year and I had a plan to give it to her. The day after fathers day I called her on my way home and we had a great conversation, no issues, she then asked me something about the counselor and I explaind that he had not called me back, unknown to us he had a heart attack thats why he did not answer, she responded with a very sad sounding "oh". I asked her waht was wrong and she said "I cant do this anymore" She then came to the house got somethings and was going to stay with her parents for a week to think about things. Hugged me, cried on my shoulder saying "I dont want to do this" , kissed me and told me she loved me and left. Her dad called me 2 days later and said to just go through him and not to try to talk to her and then gave me a list of the things she was moving out. Since being gone she has blocked me on all social media but remained friends with my friends and family. She has not had any contact with me. i found out she was following me on an account that I had and as soon as I switched my settings to private she blocked me. The site does not notify you if it is set to private the only way she would know is to look me up. So firends spoke to her the week she left and asked if time would heal this and she said "No".

Recently she has reached out to my friends. Not saying anything negative just that she wasnt happy and that I had a ring but she didnt think I wanted to marry her. When asked now about fixing it with the friends she reached out to she will not acknowledge the question. friends have seen her out and say she is sad and miserable. Her dad calls me to see how I am doing. She keeps developing links to me but has not contacted me. What is going on?

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Anger issues huh 🤔 explain please..
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Posted by Yodi

Anger issues huh 🤔 explain please..
I am a police officer and I brought my job home. I would not be talkative, be quiet, or be short. I was never violent. Never touched in a negative way. I might raise my voice at the dogs but never at her of the kids (hers from a previous marriage). She would tell my mother that she "did not know which me would walk through the door" in couseling I learned some coping things and i always walked through the door with a smile.


UPDATE* she has blocked me on FB but all the post saying how great I was over the years are still posted to my wall. I can not delete them bacause I can not see them. A friend told me about it. It feels like she is hanging on but still is not trying to make contact. I am just confused.
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Also she has deleted all pics of me but has kept all the pictures of the house and the renovations that we did together on her FB.
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Posted by La_Dolce_Vita_Scorpio

Whats your sun and moon sign.


I am a Pisces with a Gemini moon
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I am just giving space and not attempting to contact like her father asked me to. I see that you need to remind a cancer of your feelings for her. I was going to post on my pinterest account that she spied on. Just to suttle remind her. Is that a good idea?
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Posted by BULLDAWG37

Posted by Yodi

Anger issues huh 🤔 explain please..
I am a police officer and I brought my job home. I would not be talkative, be quiet, or be short. I was never violent. Never touched in a negative way. I might raise my voice at the dogs but never at her of the kids (hers from a previous marriage). She would tell my mother that she "did not know which me would walk through the door" in couseling I learned some coping things and i always walked through the door with a smile.


UPDATE* she has blocked me on FB but all the post saying how great I was over the years are still posted to my wall. I can not delete them bacause I can not see them. A friend told me about it. It feels like she is hanging on but still is not trying to make contact. I am just confused.
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When she said " she didn't know which you would walk through the door" but now you walked in with a smile.. means what exactly? Have you ever talk down to her or raised your voice at her before you changed? How mean were you to the dogs?


Crabs don't let go that easy so I'm just trying to understand her..
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Did something happen at work that made her look at you in a different light?

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I never raised my voice to her or the kids. As for the dogs I might yell at them for messing in the house. Like "do that outside" more scolding them than being mean.


Nothing at work would make her think differently. I mostly do paperwork. I've never been repremanded for conduct issues.


Her father and grandfather are very quiet men. I have a a very animated personality. I might get excited at sports on the TV and cheer loudly in my living room.
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Cancers do get attached quickly it is interesting though why she could left if you pampered her with attention, bought a car you guys started living together.. hmm. What's her ascendant and moon sign?

Pisces and cancer seem to get along well. Maybe you hurt her unintentionally? They do get hurt, hide emotions even small things, if not..maybe she is not sure if the relationship, but at 37 and us 5 years of dating that is a long time..

Good luck
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*update*


She continues to reach out to people that I am close to. The conversation switches from sad comments like "he had a ring but I don't think he wanted to marry me" and "He acts different when we are alone, and he didn't do that in the begining which sucks" to (when she finds out they know about the breakup or have talked to me) to hateful comments "If he asked I don't know that I would have said yes" and "I don't want that life for my kids". Why is it important that people not know we broke up?


Also I found that she left all of the Christmas things. Her kids handmade ornaments and stockings and music box that her grandfather gave her.
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Posted by Luny7

Cancers do get attached quickly it is interesting though why she could left if you pampered her with attention, bought a car you guys started living together.. hmm. What's her ascendant and moon sign?

Pisces and cancer seem to get along well. Maybe you hurt her unintentionally? They do get hurt, hide emotions even small things, if not..maybe she is not sure if the relationship, but at 37 and us 5 years of dating that is a long time..

Good luck


Sounds like me..... cancer sun, Aries moon
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Honestly, I would try your best to keep your distance. Stop allowing people to update you on their conversations with her. Seriously, I don’t know if she’s coming back, because she sounds so much like me and if it were me the actions would indicate I am completely done with a person. I don’t remove pictures or block someone out until I’ve made the decision to cut ties completely. I l know it’s probably hard for you to accept this considering five years is quite sometime. But just start doing things that bring peace to your life. Your relationship with her sounds toxic and even if she were to come back it wouldn’t be the same. She would realize that it’s just not the same as thoughts would go through her mind about how it was before the reconnection and she would then leave again. So it’s up to you.... if you want to try and make it work then definitely do. But considering her actions I would move on.
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