Help with cancer male.
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Aquarius22 on Sunday, March 23, 2008 and has 12 replies.
I'm an aquarius female and have been "seeing" a cancer male for about 4 months now. When we're together things are great. But, we go to different schools, so only see eachother once a week, if that. We dont talk everyday, and i jsut thought that had to do with the fact that i told him i get bored of guys easily so he keeps his distance. So, this last week we hadnt talked for 4 days which isnt unusual. When we did finally talk i texted him first on thursday, we talked for a bit and he said he missed me and that we should hang out the next day i agreed he said that we should go the movies. The next day he texts me saying that he's throwing a party at his house and asks if i want to come. I tell him that im just gonna stay in tonight and says hopefully we can hang out tomorrow i just said yea and the next day which is saturday he never texted me and today he still hasnt contacted me. I just want to know if thats a typical cancer? Are they flakey? Why is does he do that? Is he interested, unintersted, just playing games? He tells me he is interested and acts like it when we're together, but i think that if he really liked me he'd want to hang out more since we dont see eachother all the time. I feel like he says one thing and does another. Please give me your input.
I accept his invitations all the time unless i cant go. I couldnt go to the party and i was a little upset because he decided to throw a party when we had plans.
i need a serious nap.
i feel like i might bother him if i text him first or something.
"i feel like i might bother him if i text him first or something."
Well the first step in establishing & actually KEEPING a relationship with anybody (not just Cancers) is to have the ability to come out of your shell & express your feelings. If you honestly & truly feel deep down that if you get rejected by expressing yourself to him, then you already have the answers to your own questions. I'm an Aqua too & I know that communication is the key to our hearts. Yes, we need space too, but when it comes down to relationships, being able to express ourselves is what makes us WANT to bond closer with them. Going for 4 days without talking isn't that big of a deal BUT the key to going that long w/o talking being okay is making sure the foundation between you & him is strong enough to keep the flame alive in between those days when you guys don't talk. I mean people work, people have lives. Talking every day all day can BREAK a relationship just as much as it can make one. You're an Aqua so I definetely know why you're so nervous about just coming out of your shell & texting him (We hate it when someone keeps invading our space so we definetely try our hardest not to give someone else that SAME feelings we've been given + plus we hate chasing after someone).
Well the first step in establishing & actually KEEPING a relationship with anybody (not just Cancers) is to have the ability to come out of your shell & express your feelings. If you honestly & truly feel deep down that if you get rejected by expressing yourself to him, then you already have the answers to your own questions. I'm an Aqua too & I know that communication is the key to our hearts. Yes, we need space too, but when it comes down to relationships, being able to express ourselves is what makes us WANT to bond closer with them. Going for 4 days without talking isn't that big of a deal BUT the key to going that long w/o talking being okay is making sure the foundation between you & him is strong enough to keep the flame alive in between those days when you guys don't talk. I mean people work, people have lives. Talking every day all day can BREAK a relationship just as much as it can make one. You're an Aqua so I definetely know why you're so nervous about just coming out of your shell & texting him (We hate it when someone keeps invading our space so we definetely try our hardest not to give someone else that SAME feelings we've been given + plus we hate chasing after someone).
we have expressed ourselves and it did make me want to bond with him more, so now that he does all these tings it makes me think that he doesnt care as much and i feel vulnerable since i let my gaurd down and told him how i felt.
Hmm...speaking from an astrology perspective...
Cancers need comfort, security, and a sense of feeling safe. Seeing each other once a week isn't a very "safe" thing for a Cancer to feel...they need a closeness with someone...a emotional connection and a feeling of being understood.
Unfortunately, Aquarius are notorious for needing their space and being distant. Aquarius are also fairly rebellious and emotionally detached.
I think you're seeing the Cancer not feeling like he's really emotionally into this relationship. That can be a huge problem for you two because a Cancer who hasn't clung onto you probably won't put you as his highest priority.
If you want him to choose you over throwing that party, you'll need to hook up by creating an emotional bond with him. It doesn't sound like you two have bonded that way yet...
Cancers need comfort, security, and a sense of feeling safe. Seeing each other once a week isn't a very "safe" thing for a Cancer to feel...they need a closeness with someone...a emotional connection and a feeling of being understood.
Unfortunately, Aquarius are notorious for needing their space and being distant. Aquarius are also fairly rebellious and emotionally detached.
I think you're seeing the Cancer not feeling like he's really emotionally into this relationship. That can be a huge problem for you two because a Cancer who hasn't clung onto you probably won't put you as his highest priority.
If you want him to choose you over throwing that party, you'll need to hook up by creating an emotional bond with him. It doesn't sound like you two have bonded that way yet...
you guys are probably right and we havnt spoken for a week now. i have no idea whats going on. i dont know if he thinks im mad at him or what. but i havnt texted him either because to me it seems that he doesnt care and the way i see it is if he doenst care than i dont either. so im jsut over and tired of him wanting me to crawl to him which im not going to do.
At times,I can be the biggest flake who reads between the lines a lil too much at times. Maybe he thinking you are not sincere, which sends him to flake mode. He's probably wonders to himself about what you are thinking and he probably thinks you don't like him all that much which makes him retreat and get all retrospective. I say ditch him. Four months is enough time for a rhythm between you and him to have developed. Because it did not, hence the lack of communication. Get out while you can.
thank you sun_in_cancer. but ugh honestly i miss him and i hate myself for it. i want him to come back to me. i dont know if its just bcause i feel like he left me or that i was played i dont know but i want him to text me.
He sees the not texting him as you not caring either. He doesn't want to care if you don't care. Even if I really care for someone I'm not going to ask them two or three times in a row whether they want to hang out with me.
Would hardly call Cancers flakey. They take their love seriously. Any flakey behavior means he's just not into you, or he's not comfortable enough to spill it.
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