How do Cancer men deal with break ups

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Sweets681 on Monday, February 3, 2014 and has 11 replies.
I met a cancer man on a dating website and we spoke online for 6 weeks before actually meeting each other. The chemistry was instant from the very beginning. He told me that he had met a few people prior and it did not work out so he wanted to do things differently. He expressed to me that when he likes someone he gives them all the attention and forgets everyone else and he didn't want to do that again. He made it clear he still would be dating. I agreed with it. This was my first time online dating so I would be doing the same. Things were going great between us. He talked to me about his kids and sent me pics of them. He shared some of the problems he was having and he also shred things about his childhood in regards to his mom. His mom passed away in 2012. We spoke all the time and as time passed by he said he had to talk to me. He is a great communicator. After 2 months of dating he came to me and said he wanted to be exclusive and no longer wanted to date other people. I agreed because I had already removed my profile. By the third month I noticed he still has his profile up but was not on the site. I asked him about it and he said he does not use it. I asked him how many sites he was on and he said four. I was really bothered. When I went on them I noticed he would be on sometimes. I spoke to him about it and he said I am not removing them. Anytime we spoke about things that I had a problem with we would talk about it and things would be addressed. I was very confused why he would not address this. So I spoke with him and asked why is he still online and he tried to reassure me he was deleting notifications. Anyway, he also stArted to become distant to me and when I asked he said no. He stopped calling at nights and when he did it would be for 5minutes. He said his job was keeping him late nights and he would very tired. I was married to a cancer for 11 years so I know that they like their space so I let it be. He text all the time but would pacify me by calling and talking for five minutes. One night I noticed he was on one of the sites for over 30 minutes and I called him and spoke to him about it and broke up with him. I thought about things and felt like I handled it wrong since we were only dating for a short time. I really liked him. This guy always told me he loved me and when we were together it showed. I waited a week and sent a text of apology and told him that I think I handled things wrong. He answered and said he wished I believed in me
details
I swear it's a massive war against paragraphs going on lately.
You did good to break up with him. Why you want to go back I don't know. You asked, he avoided the direct answer (I am playing you) and then took his distance. What more do you need to know?
details
I agree with you I text him one night I wished things were different and he text back you and me both. Then I said I miss you and he said I miss you too. I sent him a text stating if we should try again if not let's know so I can move on and he did not answer.
I just want to know has he moved on? I also want to know should I put my pics back up on the site? I know he will see it.
details
Posted by Damnata
I swear it's a massive war against paragraphs going on lately.
You did good to break up with him. Why you want to go back I don't know. You asked, he avoided the direct answer (I am playing you) and then took his distance. What more do you need to know?


Agreed...on your opinion and the paragraphs_???
@OP: being "exclusive" means going "all in." Even if he didn't go back to the sites, leaving his profiles up was a sure sign he was keeping his options open. Don't let subjectivity of his active profiles fool you. You were right to address it as he was the one to suggest monogamy in the first place. Also, don't ever feel guilty about addressing these types of situations. That will only keep you in a bad spot as people will use that against you. Its one thing to forgive, but then there's the issue of getting and keeping your trust. While everything is relative, him "changing" after you addressed it tells you exactly what you need to know...he wasn't serious and you shouldn't waste your time.
details
Posted by Sweets681
I agree with you I text him one night I wished things were different and he text back you and me both. Then I said I miss you and he said I miss you too. I sent him a text stating if we should try again if not let's know so I can move on and he did not answer.
I just want to know has he moved on? I also want to know should I put my pics back up on the site? I know he will see it.


Also, don't be concerned about whether he's moved on...he's a grown man. That's not to suggest that you are trying to baby him, but he knows exactly what he's doing and made a conscious choice to do it. Don't be fearful and think you can't find somebody else, you can. As Maya Angelou said: "when somebody shows you who they are...believe them."
details
Thank you so much. I appreciate the feed back. I will definitely be putting my profile back up and not worrying about him seeing it.
details
This guy is an asshole and a liar.
The fact that he said he is ONLINE to delete notifications at a dating site is a steamy pile of bullshit so big that you need to break out a Bobcat tractor to move it.
Forget this guy.
He is clearly scamming you with lies and BS, and looking to meet other chicks.
Just forget this guy.
There are some really awful Cancers on this planet, and unfortunately, it is hard to discriminate the good from the horrific until getting to know them because they hide in their shells for so long.
However, once you get inside, it can usually be ANYTHING in there.
Sorry that you had to find out that it is pure ROTTEN inside his shell.
Sad
HUGS
details
Thank you so much. I appreciate the feed back. I will definitely be putting my profile back up and not worrying about him seeing it.
details
Thanks for the hugs Scorpiofish.
details
One thing I learned about cancers is that you should let them make their own decisions. Never try to make them do what you want because that makes them back away even further. They like to see what's out there and that's why they are also known to be cheaters. You have to be demure with cancers in some ways but also initiate action with them in other ways. I'm a cancer moon so in a way I understand this but in other ways I don't because I like people to just be straight up but cancers are not 'straight up' types.
details
I am terrible with break ups. If you want to see depression and sorrow in it's core look at a cancer guy. I hate it because I know I will not have these bad moods and emotions so I have to feel those and I feel frustration to why I feel them so much. But this guy is an asshole. He just wanted attention from you and he def was not committed to you because cancers are all about showing you they are committed then telling you. Jealousy wierd to say is a cancer mans saying I really care for you that I am get weak to the point of Jealousy. Glad you left him.
details

Leave Your Feedback

We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.

Home Astrology Comments Forums Search

©1997-2025 dxpnet.com. All Rights Reserved.
Advertising Contact Terms of Use Privacy Policy