Haha okay. well, i'm currently dating a cancer and holy poo do we have a lot of problems atm. when do you think he'll come out of his shell and actually talk to me about everything and try to help fix things?

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Signed Up: Oct 17, 2013
Comments: 386 · Posts: 8654 · Topics: 308

Posted by sagittarius843
Haha okay. well, i'm currently dating a cancer and holy poo do we have a lot of problems atm. when do you think he'll come out of his shell and actually talk to me about everything and try to help fix things?

Ok. That's "deus ex machina". Gonna be a tough one.
Everything might not work. The first thing to ask yourself is what set him off.
To crack that shell, you take that and be direct but gentle. Couch in terms of you "don't understand" and let him talk.

Signed Up: May 18, 2013
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so he's messaging me twice asking if i'm okay. do you think he's ready to talk? how do i get him to talk about things in a simple way?

Signed Up: Oct 20, 2013
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I totally understand the frustration--I have been frustrated with trying to understand them myself. First of all, you need to have an immense amount of patience with the Cancer man. Also, the Cancer men I've dated have been very insecure, although you would never guess this from the way they carry themselves--confident and outgoing. Make sure you compliment them, but be genuine. Give him his space when he needs it, but remember to check in with them so they know you still care. Don't take their actions personally--this was a mistake I made initially. Cancer man will be lost in his own thoughts/problems and it can often seem as if it is about us, but it's not. They need time to figure out what they want/need and to process where the relationship is going. Don't get too clingy or overly emotional--this will make them run and hide. Also, don't feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them--you need to be firm with them when they are being hurtful or have done something wrong. Don't harp on the issue though, discuss it with them, forgive them, and then move on. Cancer men have big hearts and don't like to hurt others. With Cancer's it's all about time. Remember with them that "Time Will Tell." They play games to see how much you really like them, because like I said, they do this because they are insecure. Make sure that you let them know that you like them, but again, don??t be over emotional about it. Make sure to call them on their game playing???they??ll deny playing games, but once you call them on it they tend to stop. Be gentle, kind, and keep things light when you??re with them. They torture themselves enough when things are going wrong in their personal lives and they will want someone that they can enjoy easy drama-free time with. If you can make them laugh and smile it??s a plus! It seems like a lot of work, but they are certainly worth it. Once they start to let you in and trust you, it is amazing. Cancer men are certainly worth the effort

This all, of course, is IMO and based on my relationships with Cancer men.

Signed Up: Jan 07, 2014
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much better than sags that 4 sure

Signed Up: Oct 17, 2013
Comments: 386 · Posts: 8654 · Topics: 308

Posted by sweetlibra34
I totally understand the frustration--I have been frustrated with trying to understand them myself. First of all, you need to have an immense amount of patience with the Cancer man. Also, the Cancer men I've dated have been very insecure, although you would never guess this from the way they carry themselves--confident and outgoing. Make sure you compliment them, but be genuine. Give him his space when he needs it, but remember to check in with them so they know you still care. Don't take their actions personally--this was a mistake I made initially. Cancer man will be lost in his own thoughts/problems and it can often seem as if it is about us, but it's not. They need time to figure out what they want/need and to process where the relationship is going. Don't get too clingy or overly emotional--this will make them run and hide. Also, don't feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them--you need to be firm with them when they are being hurtful or have done something wrong. Don't harp on the issue though, discuss it with them, forgive them, and then move on. Cancer men have big hearts and don't like to hurt others. With Cancer's it's all about time. Remember with them that "Time Will Tell." They play games to see how much you really like them, because like I said, they do this because they are insecure. Make sure that you let them know that you like them, but again, don??t be over emotional about it. Make sure to call them on their game playing???they??ll deny playing games, but once you call them on it they tend to stop. Be gentle, kind, and keep things light when you??re with them. They torture themselves enough when things are going wrong in their personal lives and they will want someone that they can enjoy easy drama-free time with. If you can make them laugh and smile it??s a plus! It seems like a lot of work, but they are certainly worth it. Once they start to let you in and trust you, it is amazing. Cancer men are certainly worth the effort This all, of course, is IMO and based on my relationships with Cancer men.

^^Sag843, that is a pretty good summation. I would would say that he's texting you for reassurance that you're interested. Don't go all hard and heavy. Just be light, direct, and reaffirm interest.
Don't try and wrap your mind around it or you'll go nuts.
The eggshells comment is big-be firm and

Signed Up: Nov 21, 2013
Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87

Posted by cheekyfaerie
Firm and what!?! I must know ALL THE THINGZ!!!
I mean.
That's interesting.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Deliriously epic! hehe

Signed Up: Oct 17, 2013
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Posted by cheekyfaerie
Firm and what!?! I must know ALL THE THINGZ!!!
I mean.
That's interesting.

Oh, I didn't see that.
Meant to say call them out on their crap if its going on.
But, some of the other thingz should stay a Cancer man secret.

Signed Up: Feb 13, 2013
Comments: 7 · Posts: 153 · Topics: 5

We guys are honestly a roller coaster ride. You cannot control the ride you just have to accept it. That is how I look at moods and emotions. I feel like I am two people sometimes honestly. Like when I am down the logic person in me says what is wrong with you and you need to relax buddy. We are honestly walking contradictions. I say I am fine just to calm the situation. So we build all these tension inside and instead of going at the problem we misplace that bad emotion into something else. We are nuts. I mean I love people and love positive energy but man I can be weird.

Signed Up: Nov 23, 2012
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I'm a leo lady was with my cancer man for 5 months. First few weeks were good then boi did it go down hill! The arguments we had were shocking and it just became a constant thing. Just got fed up of him getting close pulling back then blaming me for his wrong doings. I just got fed up of it after a while and called it a day. Too friggin moody for my liking and so the moment a person brings my sunny light positive attitude to a negative one then it's time for me to start taking stock of things! when I weighed it all up I realised that i was walking on egg shells over him feeling extremely uncomfortable when id be at his house, wouldn't attempt to make a conversation with me, wouldn't kiss or cuddle me, no affection no love making always miserable so then I thought you know what f##k it if it's me that's making you this way then I might as well leave and that's what I did. 3 weeks later his calling saying he misses me and wants me to go see him. So thought about it then decided ok will go see him. First night was amazing he was showering me with affection as I could tell that he did miss me, then the next day he was all cold with me and went back in his shell. Not into his games and I won't tolerate bad behaviour so I've really distanced myself and he friggin knows it to! Now he wants to draw back in! Not having it with him no more I've really come to the end with this. It's affected my home life and work life so the moment I start seeing changes like that it's time to get the move on. If he wants to make this work his really gonna need to work on his mood patterns because I'm not gonna be responsible for how he feels that's not my problem that's his. No more being nice!

Signed Up: Mar 11, 2013
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I just went through a very rocky 10 month relationship with a Cancer guy. I found out he was moving to another state from other people at work. And when I texted him and asked what is going on with us. His response was you "you are really annoying me with asking me that question" and "you are really starting to push my buttons".
I left him alone like they say to leave a Cancer man be. One min he is annoyed with me, the next he was scolding me for not texting him. I couldn't win.
He put in no effort. And honestly he checked out of the relationship long ago, it just took me a bit to figure it out. So I ended it. He called and talked his first words out were "I don't want to be in a relationship" And based on is actions, he didnt'. Haven't heard from him in 2 weeks.
Still don't know if I did the right thing, but I just couldnt wait for him forever. I did that with someone else and wasted 2 years of my life.
I figure Cancer man or not, if a guy is instrested he will make an effort. I didn't see this guy for 3 weeks, and at the time he lived 7 mins away from me.
I felt the same Roller Coaster Ride other felt with a Cancer man.

Signed Up: Nov 21, 2013
Comments: 22 · Posts: 11927 · Topics: 87

Posted by aquavita
Posted by MoonArtist
They're like Cancer chicks....but manly.

hehe, Moonartist i didnt know u back in january 2014, but u still the same
click to expand

how do cancer mens' minds work?

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