how to approach a cancer, i want him to be my bf
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by gemcancervenus on Friday, October 7, 2011 and has 11 replies.
So I have been dating this cancer guy for about two months. Previously had asked him if he was seeing anyone and we both said no. We have slept together. We get along really great and even though he lives an hour and a half away, we see each other every weekend. Either he will come stay at my place for the weekend, or I would go up there. Last week, he moved to the back of his parents house so it is difficult for me to go up there. I wouldn't want to push him and make him let me meet his family after so little time. But anyway, we have talked about a lot of things we want to do together such as road trip or whatever and I would like to believe there is a future for us.
I am a gemini with venus in cancer. He has a lot of Cancer in his chart, but overall those sites say we would make a good pair. He has told me liked me many times, but has not asked to be in a relationship. I have read here that cancers move slow, so I don't know if two months is too soon or reasonable for that to happen.
Also, he is looking for jobs up near sf, which would make him four hours away (this is the only reason i am questioning our future). He had mentioned it would be a longer commute to where I live, but didn't go further to say if that means he wouldn't visit me or that even if it's hard, he'd still come. He had previously been looking for jobs in LA which is closer, but he heard me say to my sister that I had always wanted to move to sf. since then , his job search changed to sf (sisnt say why, just that he is looking for jobs everywhere). I can't tell if he wants to pursue a relationship with me, or considering that he has been looking for other jobs this whole time, if he just saw me as a short term pass time.
Anyway, it seems like I should approach the situation directly, but I don't know how to word it. Do I just tell him I want to be his girlfriend? Would that be pushing too hard, or is a girl generally supposed to just wait and wait until a Cancer asks first. I want to get from him a clearer idea of what will happen when he leaves. Will we just be friends and see other people? or will we still try to be together and only sleep with each other? What is the ebst way to approach a cancer male about this question?
I am a gemini with venus in cancer. He has a lot of Cancer in his chart, but overall those sites say we would make a good pair. He has told me liked me many times, but has not asked to be in a relationship. I have read here that cancers move slow, so I don't know if two months is too soon or reasonable for that to happen.
Also, he is looking for jobs up near sf, which would make him four hours away (this is the only reason i am questioning our future). He had mentioned it would be a longer commute to where I live, but didn't go further to say if that means he wouldn't visit me or that even if it's hard, he'd still come. He had previously been looking for jobs in LA which is closer, but he heard me say to my sister that I had always wanted to move to sf. since then , his job search changed to sf (sisnt say why, just that he is looking for jobs everywhere). I can't tell if he wants to pursue a relationship with me, or considering that he has been looking for other jobs this whole time, if he just saw me as a short term pass time.
Anyway, it seems like I should approach the situation directly, but I don't know how to word it. Do I just tell him I want to be his girlfriend? Would that be pushing too hard, or is a girl generally supposed to just wait and wait until a Cancer asks first. I want to get from him a clearer idea of what will happen when he leaves. Will we just be friends and see other people? or will we still try to be together and only sleep with each other? What is the ebst way to approach a cancer male about this question?
The best way is to just bring it up and talk about it. Stop worrying about whether or not he'll reject the idea because you deserve to be happy too. If he does turn it down then you know where you stand.
I have been with my cancer guy for a while now and I never held back. They seem to like it when you can stand your ground and be vulnerable to them with confidence.
I have been with my cancer guy for a while now and I never held back. They seem to like it when you can stand your ground and be vulnerable to them with confidence.
I am a Cancer female. I do know a lot of Cancers are slow to make the first move from fear of rejection. If you bring it up in a discussion, that would be easier instead of asking right out. It is almost like we are on "the spot" and we don't know how you feel etc. Casually bring it up and see what he says. If you two are spending time together, he is into you. We love to be secure but we will be honest with you.
here is another thing. this is like a bad sign to me.
We went up to sf for a weekend together for my sister's birthday. it was a great weekend and through the whole party he kissed me and held me close, maybe cause he didnt know anyone else. It was all very sweet, and my sister's boyfriend took a picture of us. We had never taken a picture before, and my sister and everyone up there are the type of people that put everything on facebook. On the drive back, he held my hand the whole way even when he was sleeping (I drove) and it all seemed good. A couple days ago, I found the picture we took together on my sister's facebook and tagged both me and him in it. He told me, "that's a good pic of you". And it is a cute pic, but we are both awkwardly looking off camera. Mine is cute mischievous side look and his is like... off into the distance.
Then I wondered.. huh why did he say its a good pic of me only and not 'us'? So i went on facebook and saw his name wasnt there anymore. At first I got really pissed off cause I thought he untagged himself. So I texted him, 'did you seriously just untag yourself? you are a jerk!!!' and he said Haha no i didn't. When I click the pic, his name is tagged, so then I was like huh that's weird, thought it was a glitch and was like oh haha I was almost really mad for a second. But then I still thought it was weird that his name didnt show up til I click on the pic, cause his name didn't show in the newsfeed anymore. So I realized that he exed it off his newsfeed so it wouldnt be on his front page anymore.
So I am still mad about this, cause maybe he is embarassed to be seen with me. He also has no pics with just a girl (only tagged in group pics or pics with guys only), and every so often he has new female fb friends. So maybe he doesn't want anyone to know he is hanging out with any girl in particular. Why not? I thought he 'liked me.' That would really piss me off!!! What the big deal if he is in one pic with a girl maybe we are just friends hanging out. That made me want to tell him well, you wanna pretend like we are not hanging out by hiding the pics, i will make it easy for you, we won't hang out at all!!! I know this is totally opposite mood post of the original one, but that is how I am feeling.. hopeful.. and then thinking about the bad indicators and just angry that maybe hes not for real. Or is it a test to see if I'd be mad? What the heck!
We went up to sf for a weekend together for my sister's birthday. it was a great weekend and through the whole party he kissed me and held me close, maybe cause he didnt know anyone else. It was all very sweet, and my sister's boyfriend took a picture of us. We had never taken a picture before, and my sister and everyone up there are the type of people that put everything on facebook. On the drive back, he held my hand the whole way even when he was sleeping (I drove) and it all seemed good. A couple days ago, I found the picture we took together on my sister's facebook and tagged both me and him in it. He told me, "that's a good pic of you". And it is a cute pic, but we are both awkwardly looking off camera. Mine is cute mischievous side look and his is like... off into the distance.
Then I wondered.. huh why did he say its a good pic of me only and not 'us'? So i went on facebook and saw his name wasnt there anymore. At first I got really pissed off cause I thought he untagged himself. So I texted him, 'did you seriously just untag yourself? you are a jerk!!!' and he said Haha no i didn't. When I click the pic, his name is tagged, so then I was like huh that's weird, thought it was a glitch and was like oh haha I was almost really mad for a second. But then I still thought it was weird that his name didnt show up til I click on the pic, cause his name didn't show in the newsfeed anymore. So I realized that he exed it off his newsfeed so it wouldnt be on his front page anymore.
So I am still mad about this, cause maybe he is embarassed to be seen with me. He also has no pics with just a girl (only tagged in group pics or pics with guys only), and every so often he has new female fb friends. So maybe he doesn't want anyone to know he is hanging out with any girl in particular. Why not? I thought he 'liked me.' That would really piss me off!!! What the big deal if he is in one pic with a girl maybe we are just friends hanging out. That made me want to tell him well, you wanna pretend like we are not hanging out by hiding the pics, i will make it easy for you, we won't hang out at all!!! I know this is totally opposite mood post of the original one, but that is how I am feeling.. hopeful.. and then thinking about the bad indicators and just angry that maybe hes not for real. Or is it a test to see if I'd be mad? What the heck!
Posted by gemcancervenus
Then I wondered.. huh why did he say its a good pic of me only and not 'us'? So i went on facebook and saw his name wasnt there anymore. At first I got really pissed off cause I thought he untagged himself. So I texted him, 'did you seriously just untag yourself? you are a jerk!!!' and he said Haha no i didn't. When I click the pic, his name is tagged, so then I was like huh that's weird, thought it was a glitch and was like oh haha I was almost really mad for a second. But then I still thought it was weird that his name didnt show up til I click on the pic, cause his name didn't show in the newsfeed anymore. So I realized that he exed it off his newsfeed so it wouldnt be on his front page anymore.
oh lord.. maybe he just didn't like the pic of himself and didn't want an unflattering picture all up front on fb like that. jesus, he said YOU looked cute in it tho, didn't he?
Then... maybe he tagged himself again just to shut you up before you got all paranoid and started over reacting... Oops! too late...
Yea i know i am probably overreacting cause well fb isn't a big deal right? then why do all his other pics get to remain on his front page as the natural course of things, but he takes the time bury my picture just like every other girl hes ever taken a pic with. I thought I was special! At least for the time being.. I would understand if things were ending or something why he might want to remove that from his page. I just thought we were at the point where he would want to be more public about spending time with me. I've met all his friends and we've all had good times together.
what is your zodiac gemcancervenus?
I thought was kind of interesting. thought you might enjoy it too. Good Luck
http://www.ehow.com/how_5533823_date-cancer-man.html
http://www.ehow.com/how_5533823_date-cancer-man.html
Posted by gemcancervenus
Yea i know i am probably overreacting cause well fb isn't a big deal right? then why do all his other pics get to remain on his front page as the natural course of things, but he takes the time bury my picture just like every other girl hes ever taken a pic with. I thought I was special! At least for the time being.. I would understand if things were ending or something why he might want to remove that from his page. I just thought we were at the point where he would want to be more public about spending time with me. I've met all his friends and we've all had good times together.
hate to be a cynic, but that doesn't look good. yeah, facebook is bullshit anyway, but alot of guys use it to pick up girls. paint themselves out to be single, hide posts, tags, comments...'burying your picture'just looks dodgy.
then again, maybe he's just private and doesn't want people speculating. it really could be either.
so it's down to you now. you can go into this, knowing he adds girls on his fb and hides your pics, which you find a bit 'off'...or you can spend more time with him, get a better measure of his personality, then take it from there.
this is how social networking drives people crazy, not worth it
my birth chart is this
Sun Gemini 3.49
Moon Virgo 15.40
Mercury Gemini 24.48
Venus Cancer 0.21 R
Mars Pisces 1.35
Jupiter Taurus 17.51
Saturn Capricorn 1.06 R
Uranus Capricorn 0.04 R
Neptune Capricorn 9.44 R
Pluto Scorpio 10.34 R
Lilith Virgo 1.09
Asc node Pisces 20.21
his is
Sun Cancer 3.26
Moon Taurus 10.27
Mercury Cancer 5.31
Venus Cancer 5.52
Mars Scorpio 11.52
Jupiter Capricorn 8.42 R
Saturn Scorpio 9.59 R
Uranus Sagittarius 10.39 R
Neptune Sagittarius 29.58 R
Pluto Libra 29.23 R
Lilith Pisces 21.50
Asc node Gemini 6.29
Anyway, everything went well. I went to go visit him and we went to a concert last night and had a great time. He could tell I was still being silly and mad about the fb thing and asked me about it and i told him what I thought (in a light hearted way, I don't get all serious and dramatic because I know how silly it is, but cant help how I feel about it) and he said that he really didn't do anything to the picture and if i tagged him in a thousand pictures he would let everyone see them. At some point he asked me if he got the job in SF if I would keep coming to visit him and I said yea. Then afterwards he told me again that he really liked me and liked spending time with me and so I went for it and asked what he thought if i wanted to be his girlfriend and he was like thats fine (it was more enthusiastic than it sounds in writing), and to clarify, I said .. you know that means you would be my boyfriend. and he was like yea thats fine. haha so yay!
Sun Gemini 3.49
Moon Virgo 15.40
Mercury Gemini 24.48
Venus Cancer 0.21 R
Mars Pisces 1.35
Jupiter Taurus 17.51
Saturn Capricorn 1.06 R
Uranus Capricorn 0.04 R
Neptune Capricorn 9.44 R
Pluto Scorpio 10.34 R
Lilith Virgo 1.09
Asc node Pisces 20.21
his is
Sun Cancer 3.26
Moon Taurus 10.27
Mercury Cancer 5.31
Venus Cancer 5.52
Mars Scorpio 11.52
Jupiter Capricorn 8.42 R
Saturn Scorpio 9.59 R
Uranus Sagittarius 10.39 R
Neptune Sagittarius 29.58 R
Pluto Libra 29.23 R
Lilith Pisces 21.50
Asc node Gemini 6.29
Anyway, everything went well. I went to go visit him and we went to a concert last night and had a great time. He could tell I was still being silly and mad about the fb thing and asked me about it and i told him what I thought (in a light hearted way, I don't get all serious and dramatic because I know how silly it is, but cant help how I feel about it) and he said that he really didn't do anything to the picture and if i tagged him in a thousand pictures he would let everyone see them. At some point he asked me if he got the job in SF if I would keep coming to visit him and I said yea. Then afterwards he told me again that he really liked me and liked spending time with me and so I went for it and asked what he thought if i wanted to be his girlfriend and he was like thats fine (it was more enthusiastic than it sounds in writing), and to clarify, I said .. you know that means you would be my boyfriend. and he was like yea thats fine. haha so yay!
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