How to deal?

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Dianasart on Friday, August 6, 2010 and has 4 replies.
So there's a Cancer in my weight training class and lately we've been talking. It was sweet how he aproached me and stuff. We texted eachother. He's always calling me hot. Anyways, I've always been a flirt. I know that Cancers are emotional so when my 3 guy friends came over for my attention (hadn't seen them in a while and they're totle goofs) I tried to get the Cancer guy into the fun by leaving a big wide open door for him to walk through. He doesn't. Instead he moves to the weights on the other side of the room. I decided to leave my friends behind and go after him. We spock a few words, nothing much. Then my friends come along again. Cancer wasn't talking much so I thought screw it! I'm the type that would some times purposefully flirt to make a guy jealous. He moved to another side and this time I stayed with my friends. After a while I told them that they got in the way and stuff lol they know not to take thigs personal so they start jocking. One is like what do you see in him. I'm like sheesh you guys are barging in and puting down all the guys I come across. Though that was a first. Though I met these guys when this class semester started.
Later I text Cancer opologizing if I made him feel ignored or anything. It was weird and dramatic for me for a moment. I thought I should just cut this off before his emotions really add drama. Some weird texts, and him calling me his hot friend. He also said that, well we've talked about it before, that he hasn't dated since his ex five years ago.
So... what's up with this guy. He even said hopeless things about love, like it doesn't exist. Is this him trying to hint me to prove somethng the way women do to men by saying all men are bad so some how the guy will try to prove he's not? I've heard Cancers are feminine in some ways.
I know for me a Cancer, I had a horrible break up with my ex-husband, so I say pessimistic things about love. We want it again but we proceed with extra caution from terrible heartbreaks. He's just probably testing the waters with you, plus those guys coming around made him feel insecure so he was in a pessimistic mood. But in any case, it showed him that you are a hot commodity and in guys head it probably made him want you more.
I was in a similar situation where I have 3 guys friends and the new guy in town had a thing for me, but I wasn't going to ignore my friends for him. I have learned that you can be friends with guys but there is a level of attraction from the guys perspective. You're hot thats why they hang with you, Im sure you're smart and funny but theres no doubt that they will sleep with you in a hot second. Guys like hot girls around them. Its a territorial thing. My 3 guy friends hated when I hung with new guy, they all had girlfriends but I was there cute, a guys girl friend. Come to find out there was like "competition" behind my back and it came to a point where I had to choose btw the 2. I chose my friends of course bc I'm loyal. New guy then tried to become friends with my friends to appease me and it sort of worked. If he wanted me, then he had no choice.
The comment about "why him" or whatever by your friend was jealousy bc at least 1 out of those 3 guys want to bang you, if not all. Guys will always rag on the other guy until he proves he's worthy and those 3 guys probably talk about u as soon as you walk away. Like "Damm she's hot". Theres a very very thn line in friendships with guys. Always Always someone catches feelings. I have 4 brothers, 7 Uncles, and im in the Army. Only 1 of my male friends never came on to me, and he's gay.
WOW! That was the best advise I've ever gotten. These guys are totle goofs and I can tell one of them is very into me. He told me I have pretty eyes yesterday. "You DO have pretty eyes." They were jocking around about how big my eyes are and because of that I must see allot of things lol they are perves, but so am I so it works. But when he caught me alone he just had to complement and mess with the levels on what I was working out on knowing I'd pull his hands away. The whole thing was just to hold my hand. And then he starts playing with my fingers. Compared to his, and most other girls I have skinny wrists and pale fingers. I haven't heard from the Cancer guy since but I don't care anymore. My mother, however, doesn't aprove of certain things. She's very nice, but has certain expectations. Like the guy friend who's into me, he's a big guy, not the prettiest face. But his confidence and humar make up for it big time. My mom says we wont match when I talked to her about always coming across unattractive guys with the perfect connection. Heck I wanted to join the military too. My cousins in the army, I wanted to join the navy though. She'd disown me if I did! It's hard. But part of me is glad she holds me back from some things because out of fear I need any excuse to not take certain steps. It's stupid and keeps me back, but... :/ eh. Besides, I don't think I'd be allowed to join the military ever. I've heard that since I have a history of suicide and that I'm on anti depressents I wouldn't be accepted. Is that true? Because I want to take that step one day.
Well, if its in your medical records then yes they will probably disqualify you if they found it or you admit to it. Generally recruiters will tell you to lie when you are getting your physical from the miltary doctors. The military is a lot to handle mentally,physically and emotionally. You have to be really mentally ready for it or the sergeants will eat you alive.
The toughest chicks I've seen are in the Marines and they are a few and far between. But if you do have a history of emotional ups and downs then it might be stressful for you. But its worth a try. Good Luck :-)

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