hurt feelings...

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Bella79 on Wednesday, August 11, 2010 and has 33 replies.
Ok, I ( am a leo) got involved with a cancer guy.
we are still checking each other out but things between us has gotten hot and heavy. He was out of town for 2 weeks . And when he got back he called me and told me he misses me. We hanged out a whole weekend.
Then I call him last week wednesday, and asked jokingly "Don't you miss me?". Then he asked why am I asking. but quickly added "Yes, I miss you but I am just very busy".
Then I asked when am I seeing you again and He said " You ask too much". Of course I replied back . "What ? me ask too much. Don't worry I won't ask again". and I put down the phone
Honestly, I am just hurt. And we have not spoken since. I guess it is for the best that I just put this behind me. Since he is just was not into me.
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Why did you hang up? He is gonna give you a hard time for that.....pushing a cancer too much to do what you want them to do is pushing them away further.
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Welcome to the world of Crabs' moodiness...they run hot and cold...one day they are affectionate, the next they are withdrawn.
Are you a patient person?
Are you willing to put up with this behaviour ??
if you answered NO, then move on...
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@ justSophs I felt rejected...

@ PiscesArgie No, I am not patient And honestly I know that won't put up with it.

I do feel shitty... But I just need to lick my wounds and get on with it.
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"Constant attention, affection and support is key to a stable crab."
I agree Cam , but it is tiring!! you are VERY demanding. It takes some patience, understanding and getting to know you and your moods. Ive been more than 4 months in a relationship with a Crab and I still have a hard time figuring him out completely. But I dont say it is not worth it!! it is simply that it is not for the faint hearted!!
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Why would you want to figure out someone completely?
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Maybe ,he didn't like me as much as I thought he did. But I am feeling much better about the whole situation.
Had time to sleep on it and let it go.

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PA-can you define how crabs are VERY demanding?
Hey maybe my comment sounds negative, but it is with a funny note! What I mean by demanding it never seems enough what we do for you..you always want more..this comes as little claims..if you generally phone him every day and one day you dont, they wonder what is going on! you tend to fantasize and sometimes your fantasies are negative. Like worst case scenarios. You panic! you like us giving 100% and when we dont, for a reason, you fret. But, we , on the other hand, have to undesrtand your moods. And you are qite inflexible, when you are rightr, then you are right!
Im not critisizing anyone here, just sharing my experience of this almost 5 months with a Crab .
For the record, I love him and want to go on with him, there are so many good things! But I repeat, not for the faint hearted!! Only for those with energy, and will, and patience.
Pisces always tries to get into our heads!Why would you want to figure out someone completely?
you are right, it is difficult to cope with you being so secretive!! but it is true, better keep the mystery, otherwise I know for sure Id get bored and quickly swim away.
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Yea my bro is a Cancer and I don't get along with him at all, he was an awful older brother! But I think hanging up was too excessive but who knows the tone of the whole thing probably made a difference.
PA is right on some of the things she says bc I have 2 Pisces male friends that want more, I like them, I flirt with them, but never interested seriously. We get along great as well, always laughing but I dont feel romantic towwards them, but they are still interested and I think its bc they cant figure me out....i dont bore them. Me and Pisces males just get along so great. I enjoy them, I wish I met one that I wanted to be with though.
So PA is right about the consistency thing too, if some1 calls me everyday for awhile at the same time and they miss a day. I wonder and get withdrawn a bit. I guess insecure.
We crabs might be crabby and moody. But my friend love going out with me and talking crap cause us crabs know to have a great time. Love dancing, cooking for my friends and just laughing. All that makes up for my somtimes crabbyness. :-)

,
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Posted by PiscesArgie
..you always want more..this comes as little claims..if you generally phone him every day and one day you dont, they wonder what is going on! you tend to fantasize and sometimes your fantasies are negative. Like worst case scenarios. You panic! you like us giving 100% and when we dont, for a reason, you fret. But, we , on the other hand, have to undesrtand your moods. And you are qite inflexible, when you are rightr, then you are right!



LOL, i do similar things with my Pisces. If she does not pick up a phone i understand that she is obviously very busy but still i express my "worries" to her. Why? I just want to keep her A L E R T !
Once when we had a date i was waiting for her and peeked around the corner...she was running to meet me(she was 5-10 minutes late as usual)! I liked it soo much! and just pretended that i did not notice her running. But sometimes i DO PANIC for real.
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@Cancer1986LeoCusp
Exactly. If I phone him but for a reason he cant pick up the phone, it's Ok. But if HE phones and it is ME who cant pick the phone he panics! hahah...
and like this, so many other things....
But we Fish always find a way to ease your worries..dont we???
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@justSophs
"We crabs might be crabby and moody. But my friend love going out with me and talking crap cause us crabs know to have a great time. Love dancing, cooking for my friends and just laughing. All that makes up for my somtimes crabbyness. :-)"
Exactly. You have tons of good things and I have to admit that the secretiveness keeps me alert and on my toes and Im one who gets bored very easily. He knows how to keep me in love and wanting always more. He has even confessed this strategy! and it works smile
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Thank you guys.
A friend of his and mine. Told me that he said someone told him I am still hang up on my ex- Libra. And that he is not sure that he wants me anymore. He thinks that I am still sleeping with Libra.
Which is shitty??_should he not get to know me for himself? Yeah, I took my breakup with ex- Libra very badly and it took 2 years to completely get over him.
But the point is we spend a weekend together then all of the sudden he treats me like I don't even exist. No calls or messages nothing.
I am crazy about him. But I am to proud and stubborn to ask him for an explanation. So, I am just going to walk away.
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I decided to call him and find out once and for all what is going on. Basically most of the conversation he was being evasive. Then he said that he is seeing someone and he is sorry if he hurt me.
So, there I it... Feel shitty
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Sorry about this ending, at least he was honest and didnt play with you or make you waste your time.
There is somebody out there for you dear..
All experiences in life are valuable, good and bad ones.
all the best!
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Yeah, But he should have thought about his "someone" before he slept with me and made me think that I was important to him.
I will be fine. Just feel shitty. But I need to work have a few deadlines this week and can't afford to let this distract me.
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gemtaur, I am sure that I don't want him back. what he did was just not cool.
And besides I am a Leo, so my pride was hurt.But I always land on my feet.
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At Bella.....there you have it....a crappy crab...I dated one once and what was I thinking? There sre good ones out there, never been a fan of cancer men....even though I am a cancer....
What a bastard. Like gemtaur said, he will be back. Us crabs hate being ignored....when crap hit the fan with him and the person he is seeing and he feels like he can worm himself back into your bed.....just ignore him.
The best revenge is living well my dear. I wish the best in health, work and life. You are the winner in this situation. And dont you forget it.
@PiscesArgie.......a glutton for punishment I see messing with us Crab....lol j/k. I like the way you can just deal and handle our moodiness.
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No, he has a girl. A co-worker told me that he was seen him with her a few times. And wanted to know what happend to us.

Maybe ,I was the one he was playing with.
You win some you loose some.
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@Bella, you are the king of the jungle, you will be OK! When he comes begging, as he will, just crush the bastard!! smile Make crab mash!!!!
@JustSophs: "I like the way you can just deal and handle our moodiness." WHO SAYS I CAN??? HAHAHAHAH!!! smile I try but sometimes it is hard. I am laid back and have just found that the key is not to get too wrapped in your moodiness. When my crab comes in a mood, I know I have to pamper him. Mine is a bit of a cry baby, he always has a stomach ache, or some kind of problem..I discovered that when he comes with these issues he just wants affection. He plays the victim so he can get pampered and cared for!!! hahahahahhaha . Its funny. And I hate him being so INDIRECT!!!! He cant ever propose an outing directly, it is all just indirect, until I end up proposing..why is this?? haha.
His idea of a proposal is HI HONEY, WHATYA DOING? IM AT HOME...
(I have to suppose he is at home, so he is free, so he wants to see me....)
It is constant deciphering.
But I NEVER GET BORED with this Crabby!!!!!!

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Posted by Clair De Lune
Posted by mr.crabby
Why would you want to figure out someone completely?


I wouldn't either.
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I concur ...I don't even want to figure myself out completely
but srsly if that tiny lash out hurt? this won't work :/ waters run deep & cold sometimes
nice to c u round Claire always a pleasure
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Bella im sorry Sad there r many crabs in the ocean
well it explains his anitial "u ask too much" eeekkk!

his water & freezing... karma om
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Posted by gemtaur
Posted by Bella79
No, he has a girl. A co-worker told me that he was seen him with her a few times. And wanted to know what happend to us.

Maybe ,I was the one he was playing with.
You win some you loose some.


Put that fire in yoru belly away, hun. He's frontin and he'll be back. Trust.
They treetrunk doormats but want a strong, independent woman...that's where you come in. Be yourself, just ease up on the pride thing when he returns.
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lol
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You're basically telling her to wait for him so he can walk all over her, no?
SCORPIOOOOOOONS!!!
Ooh, girl, I'm leaving you
Yes, I'm leaving you
I've got to go tonight
Ooh, girl, I'm leaving you
Yes, I'm leaving you, I've got to go
I can't stay
You shouldn't feel so blue
Shouldn't feel so blue
When I go tonight
Baby, you shouldn't feel so blue
Shouldn't feel so blue, when I'm gone
I can't stay
Keep me in your mind till I
Come back to love ya
Keep me in your mind till I
Come back to take you worlds away,
to take you worlds away, baby
Ooh, girl, I'm leaving you
Yes, I'm leaving you
I've got to go tonight
Baby, you shouldn't feel so blue
Shouldn't feel so blue, when I'm gone
I can't stay
Keep me in your mind till I
Come back to love ya
Keep me in your mind till I
Come back to love ya
Keep me in your mind till I
Come back to love ya ...
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Sounds like r/b or rap pacing to me? Where's the rock and roll, Twin?
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Posted by PiscesArgie

@JustSophs: "I like the way you can just deal and handle our moodiness." WHO SAYS I CAN??? HAHAHAHAH!!! smile I try but sometimes it is hard. I am laid back and have just found that the key is not to get too wrapped in your moodiness. When my crab comes in a mood, I know I have to pamper him. Mine is a bit of a cry baby, he always has a stomach ache, or some kind of problem..I discovered that when he comes with these issues he just wants affection. He plays the victim so he can get pampered and cared for!!! hahahahahhaha . Its funny. And I hate him being so INDIRECT!!!! He cant ever propose an outing directly, it is all just indirect, until I end up proposing..why is this?? haha.
His idea of a proposal is HI HONEY, WHATYA DOING? IM AT HOME...
(I have to suppose he is at home, so he is free, so he wants to see me....)
It is constant deciphering.
But I NEVER GET BORED with this Crabby!!!!!!




LOL I know what you mean. Funny, my stomach is always bothering me. But they say cancers are ruled by breasts and stomach. I know that I get moody and I went on a first date with a Pisces and completely yelled at him bc he was late and couldn't find the place, like i was wrong (excuse:it was that time of the month as well). It completely rolled off his back and we had a great time. I just wish I was attracted to him more physically. He still tries but i just dont get all hot and bothered with him. He's like a great best friend. But not a partner.
But I think Pisces and Cancers are just meant to get along. :-)
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Posted by justSophs
Posted by PiscesArgie

@JustSophs: "I like the way you can just deal and handle our moodiness." WHO SAYS I CAN??? HAHAHAHAH!!! smile I try but sometimes it is hard. I am laid back and have just found that the key is not to get too wrapped in your moodiness. When my crab comes in a mood, I know I have to pamper him. Mine is a bit of a cry baby, he always has a stomach ache, or some kind of problem..I discovered that when he comes with these issues he just wants affection. He plays the victim so he can get pampered and cared for!!! hahahahahhaha . Its funny. And I hate him being so INDIRECT!!!! He cant ever propose an outing directly, it is all just indirect, until I end up proposing..why is this?? haha.
His idea of a proposal is HI HONEY, WHATYA DOING? IM AT HOME...
(I have to suppose he is at home, so he is free, so he wants to see me....)
It is constant deciphering.
But I NEVER GET BORED with this Crabby!!!!!!




LOL I know what you mean. Funny, my stomach is always bothering me. But they say cancers are ruled by breasts and stomach. I know that I get moody and I went on a first date with a Pisces and completely yelled at him bc he was late and couldn't find the place, like i was wrong (excuse:it was that time of the month as well). It completely rolled off his back and we had a great time. I just wish I was attracted to him more physically. He still tries but i just dont get all hot and bothered with him. He's like a great best friend. But not a partner.
But I think Pisces and Cancers are just meant to get along. :-)
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haha! I just had a blow up with my Pisces! Totally rolled off his back as well (my anger dies down real quick)
We ended up having one of the best talks yet... but now he's disappeared into the water depths. Not just on me, on EVERYONE. Noone has seen him in like 4 days Sad
I knew this would happen eventually, and I just have to wait it out but lord... is it ever nerve racking!
I mean I was pretty open about stuff... not easy for me. Now that he's MIA, I can't help hitting that internal 'repeat' button and almost wishing I'd kept my mouth shut.
I don't like it. don't like it one bit...
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@ Shellshocker......thats Pisces for you, the wandering fish...they can be very independent type people off doing their lifes duty. No worries, that convo meant something to him, just probably off wondering the sea of the world. trust me when you talk to him again, it will feel like yesterday.
@ the other person who posted after shell, didnt quite cathc your name but yeah my cousin and i are like that 9me cancer, she pisces). Bicker like 2 old farts for no reason, we grew up together. We actually physically fought all our lives against each other, even in our adulthood. I think bc we did that as kids thats how we solve stuff btw us, like boys. Just square up and go toe to toe.
But she is my only sister or the closest darn thing to a sis I have. Like I would go to hell and back for her. She a big headed selfish bitch but only I can say that about her. I cried more than her when her mom and dad died. We can go months without talking and it would seem like yesterday I just to spoke to her. she gets me. I get her, we grew up 2gether.
Thats just the nature of the Pisces and Cancer relationship.
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@ gemtaur Lighthen up, it can be applied to everyone.
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@katica and justSohs...
thanks for that smile really helps take that deep breath you know? That unspoken communication thing, after the words have been said... very nice. makes things solid.
i know this guy has a ton of things going on in his mind, ALL the time. I understand the disappearance and realize that he's put up with enough of mine. haha! they're about other life and are not personal.
let's trade... your ish for my ish.
he's gotten word i'm thinking about him... not obsessing... just thinking
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@katica and justSohs... thanks girls so much for the insight on Pisces and Cancer, it was great reading it.
I agree we can be close, and that we have our tough times together...too much water sometimes!!
I sometimes find myself drowning because of the excess of water.
But we do connect emotionally and almost telephatically.
Our problems arise when I swim away and he shells. We disconnect and it is generally the FISH who has to give the first step, the Crab is fearing if he does, he will be rejected so he just does nothing.
We tend to "ignore" each other when we row...and that hurts, but I know the more we ignore each other, the more we are thinking about each other..and again the fish reconciles, and the Crab is happy he didn't have to be exposed to rejection.
The Crab loves to be pampered, and I can do that..I can also listen attentively and he pours his secrets out...(not too often but he has done it...incredibly!) I find that when he starts talking about his inner self, I just shut up and listen because that is not frequent..
The only thing that I dont like is the being cautious and fearing that if he gives too much, too soon, he will lose his control or his self. So he wants to stay in control. I can sense that fear. he doesnt want to be vulnerable. Ok, we have been together only 5 months but I wish he would just trust me completely. But I know his relationships in the past have been stormy and that in his words, Im thhe first healthy relationship he has had..so I am patient, because I know deep inside he is afraid of ending up like in hhis previous relationships.
It is not easy but it has been worth it.
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@Bella79, with all due respect, your reaction was very childish and immature. I'm not sure how old you are (though the number "79" may be the year in which you were born), but for you take his comment that "you ask too much," so personal is due to your Lionine pride...and not because he's not that into you. You guys spent an entire weekend together, which is a lot. He probably needed some "crab-time"...i.e., space. You were intruding, and though you didn't mean to, he probably felt a little threatened. Instead of you jumping to conclusions, you should have just said "I'm sorry, it's not my intention to ask too much, I don't mean to come off as demanding...just meant that it would be nice to see you" or something to that effect. It's a lesson learned, and that's all, and you can trust me and my advice, as I am a Leo too. Good luck.
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Posted by katica
Posted by gemtaur
Posted by katica
and heres a little secret of Cancer and Pisces...from my experience...we both sometimes like to test by deliberately pushing our worse traits on someone...to see what their reaction will be...to see if they will handle us...we want to see if you think we are worth it...yes it sounds weird...but sometimes we push buttons just to see if you are loyal to us...if you are committed to being with us through thick and thin...it doesn't mean we mean what we say we just want to know you will be with us not only the good but also the bad...because that's how we judge those that are worthy...don't confuse the term *worthy* as thinking our shit don't stink...no..we mean worthy as in you like us no matter what...the everything...not just the good !!!


wasn't it marilyn monroe who said: if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell can't handle me at my best? she was a GEM.
Pisces La La land exit to your right.


Run along now...you're not a Cancer nor a Pisces...
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wtf is that??? So fricken what if she's not!!!!!!
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