I finally asked why we don't have sex now what?

For those that have been following my post...I have no clue why I am so proud of this (probably because I was terrified to do it), but I finally asked my confusing cancer man why we haven't had sex. His response? "You haven't done anything wrong. I don't know I guess I just didn't want to rush anything because I wasn't sure what exactly we were doing, I usually don't like to mix business with pleasure as a rule thats usually bad So I honestly wasn't sure what to do I tend to over think things". I Told him I over analyze/think too and that I am sorry if I have made it awkward with my question or at school to which he responded with "Don't worry about it you didn't make things awkward".

Now my little brain is over analyzing and thinking this... why did he use past tense the whole time? Does that mean no more? At the same time he had a good opportunity to tell me he doesn't want to be in a relationship but he didn't...

Now what do I do?

This would make more sense to people who have read my previous posts...

don't worry, that's happened to me too with a water sign man. "not rush things" he said.

I think he's enjoying the time spent with you but doesn't want to commit just yet coz he is very busy with work and couldn't give you enough attention. Taking things slow. And maybe because of him being TA, wants to do his work well, gotta concentrate.

Yes well last time he stayed the night, we did have a talk about discretion at school. We also discussed with the professor about him not grading my work to avoid bias. He just doesn't want people thinking I get special treatment in the lab, which makes sense.

Maybe he is waiting for the semester to be over and us not have a professional relationship anymore...

I do wanna see him more though, problem is we always end up naked lol

Yup guess he got burned as well from previous relationships. Funny thing though. A taurus asked me dat same exact question why didn't i have sex with her when i was in her house,she wanted me to fuck da hell outta her, my answer"YOU TOLD ME WE WERE JUST FRIeNDS".BE specific please ,if you wanna be friends believvvveeeeee me we would set a boundary. If we feel you wanna touch,feel and taste us then we would start hittin dat kitty like it was ms PRETTY,lmao.

why da hell my animated gif aint showing

"I finally asked my confusing cancer man why we haven't had sex"

Why the hell you talk about this... Make a move.. With my cancer man I make the first move in kiss. They are good at talk not in move ..
Cancer man are shy and please don't talk with him, just make the move. If you talk to much with him , he take you in a friend zone and you will loose..
Just make a move, kiss him nonchalant, and the rest wil come.

I'm confused as hell by this post. I haven't met one Cancer male that doesn't want a physical connection with someone they are interested in. I don't know about this. Most Cancer men I come in contact with are either really touchy or overly touchy.lol. Heaven help you if you don't reciprocate, they feel rejected and will throw a fit. I??ve met 3 Cancers in my life, the first was very patient, he asked for sex but we were in high school and I didn't want a reputation and was afraid of becoming attached because I was a virgin.
The 2nd I met when I was older. He more like demanded it, and also demanded I become his girlfriend. I'm very rebellious when felling bossed or forced, so you can imagine how that turned out.
The 3rd, he didn't ask or demand it he just moved in for the kill and I went along for the ride. I even remember telling him it wasn't going to happen, he just nodded like —Yeah??_if you say so darling?? I still don't remember how he pulled it off. Lol.

You're getting naked but not following thru? If so, are you fooling around enough to climax? I'm not a perv. I have a legitimate reason for asking. I promise!

Posted by CluelessCancer
Females are bold these days. Why would i respect a chick that throws her vagina at me...

yuck.

probably would be a little different if you were actually interested in the vag to begin with, CC LOL

@That1Girl i think he don't want either you to get in trouble. He's actually thinking about your well being & isn't trying to rush anything. I don't think you should force sex with him. Try focusing on building a secure, loving bond with him 1st. At least make sure you & him are in relationship 1st. I would keep things casual & let him do some work. There's no reason to overthink anything. For your own good, please take things slow ok

Posted by 2BlackIndian3
@That1Girl i think he don't want either you to get in trouble. He's actually thinking about your well being & isn't trying to rush anything. I don't think you should force sex with him. Try focusing on building a secure, loving bond with him 1st. At least make sure you & him are in relationship 1st. I would keep things casual & let him do some work. There's no reason to overthink anything. For your own good, please take things slow ok

+100 BlackIndian, you are so wise for being a young man. Listen to him.

@Este8 Thank you! 🙂. I'm only trying to help her think clearly. Plus i read a lot of compatibility articles & i been in some tough situations myself too. Gotta make sure my fellow Crabs don't get hurt. It always help to have someone outside, looking in for ya

I honestly feel some Cancer Women need their hand held throughout the entire courtship, relationship, marriage and beyond.

LOL For those of you confused you hopped in the middle of the story ( I posted before) We have done sexual things (yes enough to climax multiple times on both side) just not sex. The situation started off a bit weird and got weirder without talking so I brought it up

Posted by That1Girl
LOL For those of you confused you hopped in the middle of the story ( I posted before) We have done sexual things (yes enough to climax multiple times on both side) just not sex. The situation started off a bit weird and got weirder without talking so I brought it up

Well at least there is some physical, that's good. Still I say you should??ve just told him to do it, in the moment while things were hot and heavy. If you wanted it so bad, then while ya??ll were fooling around ask if he has protection that alone should let him know you??re ready for the whole 9. However if there's no real relationship here, and you want one I would suggest you hold off on sex. Sex before a relationship is established never turns out well in my opinion. Someone always catches feelings in some type of way, even if it was boldly established to only be FWB.

Maybe he can't maintain during intercourse and doesn't want you to find out. You know, nervous, especially if he likes you so much.
Sometimes things are just that simple.

i think you all beautify things here....

It's just such a weird situation and I find myself really falling for him.. and now he is like backing off, and I am not sure if he in uninterested or because of the situation. He is basically ignoring me at school now and again I am left wondering if he is protecting his position as a TA or if I ruined things

@That1Girl just look at what i said at the end of page 1, there's your answer. & you also just stated why he's being distant. You know its not you, so why force things. Never beg anyone for their love or attention. If they not freely giving it to you, then don't bother with them ok. Trust me, i had to learn this the hard way lol. But it's a great thing to know 🙂

Well actually it's on Page 2, my bad lol. @That1Girl You are truly special & you got a lot going for you. A good personality, a home, a car, good child, & career. Don't waste on your time & energy on something that is stressful & upsets you. A real man wouldn't make his lady feel that way. Find someone who respects you, if you don't like how you are being treated.

I also like what @SassyVirgo said. Great words & yes some of us Cancer Men are sensitive at heart. Well the watery ones like me

Posted by That1Girl
It's just such a weird situation and I find myself really falling for him.. and now he is like backing off, and I am not sure if he in uninterested or because of the situation. He is basically ignoring me at school now and again I am left wondering if he is protecting his position as a TA or if I ruined things

you're not falling for him...you're falling for the excitment his games bring in...me thinks...if i were you i'd step a little back. if he comes after you[which i doubt], things are pretty clear...if he doesn't...it's clear as well...i'd use my brain here, not my...what CC said 🙂

Pull him into the broom closet at school and do it.

If you want to hump his bones, just use your womanly charms already, damn it! This whole playing games is overwhelming for a Cancer, and he seems to be stuck. A good session of horizontal cha cha, will unclog things up a bit.

Whoa!!! Hold it! Hold It! I didn't read this part: "We have done sexual things (yes enough to climax multiple times on both side) just not sex". WHOA!!!! I am not supposed to hear any evil (haha).
What are you even talking about? Not having sex? Remember? "I did not sleep with miss Lewinsky" Yes you had SEX!!! People today get caught up with funny definitions. And as far as school? Is this Brigham Young University! Why is he being such a prude? The problem I see here is a classic case of a cancer person trying to cover the sun with his hand, not understanding how foolish he looks. He is apparently too concerned about his image (typical cancer),but fails to see the image is no longer there. What is he protecting? He needs to let go, and accept the full contact Horizontal Cha Cha, it seams to me like you aren't shy about what you want, and I doubt you play the innocent butterfly with him, Do you? Just rape the prude already, and stop waisting Cha Cha time on this blog.

@ BlackIndian You always are so kind with your words and I appreciate that. I didn't bring up the sex stuff to just hop in the sack, it was getting weird without us talking about it. So I brought it up (which was super hard for me I am usually never that bold)

@ MZ I am not falling for his games, I started to fall for him before anything happened between us. In fact the first time I realized I had feelings for him was reading some of his research work at school (his intelligence is just WOW). After things happened, there were little moments it just kind of hit me that he makes me really happy like he likes to watch MASH with me (my fav. show) and has the best comments on it, he tried to make me smell his armpit (sounds weird but I was laughing so hard I almost fell on the floor), Him singing Elton John to be in the car and punk music in the lab, or the fact he likes to hold my hands when we cuddle. I can tell him anything and he is supportive of it. Not to mention the sweetness showed me when my grandpa died. It's not the games that got me hooked it is him.

@ Incan LOL he won't go near me at school, since we had the discretion talk about school he barely even says "hi" to me.

@ Cyber I don't want to make it all about sex, I only brought it up to clear the weirdness out of it. I have played it pretty innocent with him for the most part. Only because we haven't really defined what we are doing, as he mentioned in his text to me when I asked about sex. I'd really like him to come over so we are alone and we can talk about things, but he is just pulling away slowly now. Like no more flirty texts, barely talking to me at school, definitely no more naked time... I think I should just give him a few days of no contact to process things? I dunno

@That1Girl i say don't worry about this situation anymore. Focus on what's more important in your life. If this guy is meant for your life, HE'LL make the right efforts. At least you tried to talk to him about it. So stop trying, you done enough. I hope you have a blessful weekend

Posted by That1Girl
@ Incan LOL he won't go near me at school, since we had the discretion talk about school he barely even says "hi" to me.

Typical...very cancerian thing to do.

Well it just shows you what his true colors if he acts like he don't know. A person that don't care at all, will do that. So just leave him alone @That1Girl. It's not worth ruining your day over

It's only at school where he is all weird and quiet... I am just gonna back off for now and see if he comes after me... In 5 weeks the school issue won't be one because we graduate

I said fuck it and decided to invite him over to talk tomorrow that way we can just talk it all out. His response was " I can try and swing it but I'm swamped right now, not sure if I'm going to be able to get out of the lab this week"... I figure if it is important to him at all he will make time to come sit and talk with me. If not I have my answer to all my questions anyways...

talk about what?

i think you are in a hurry and this is not classy...can't you wait for those 5 weeks? the world is not going to collapse tomorrow...believe me...

even if he is serious about you, you don't give him time and space to come towards you...

Just talk and hang out, just a night without us getting naked... I realize that sounded super serious but it isn't how I meant it. Just set things on a better track than everytime he comes over we end up naked and fooling around

Thats cancers ...when we together we wanna strip off and get naked.....ah cancer woman gotta love em.

You are really funny!

I'm glad I can be entertaining LOL I am beginning to just laugh at this situation because it is so unlike me

But at least you tried lol. You got nothing to be ashamed of. Don't be too hard on yourself

Posted by That1Girl
For those that have been following my post...I have no clue why I am so proud of this (probably because I was terrified to do it), but I finally asked my confusing cancer man why we haven't had sex. His response? "You haven't done anything wrong. I don't know I guess I just didn't want to rush anything because I wasn't sure what exactly we were doing, I usually don't like to mix business with pleasure as a rule thats usually bad So I honestly wasn't sure what to do I tend to over think things". I Told him I over analyze/think too and that I am sorry if I have made it awkward with my question or at school to which he responded with "Don't worry about it you didn't make things awkward".

Now my little brain is over analyzing and thinking this... why did he use past tense the whole time? Does that mean no more? At the same time he had a good opportunity to tell me he doesn't want to be in a relationship but he didn't...

Now what do I do?

Keep in touch and wait 🙂

Posted by mz
talk about what?

i think you are in a hurry and this is not classy...can't you wait for those 5 weeks? the world is not going to collapse tomorrow...believe me...

even if he is serious about you, you don't give him time and space to come towards you...

Ehh-- if the school thing was the issue, why not just say so?

It's legitimate, and telling her would be the right thing to do-- nothing awkward about that-- but he doesn't.

If anyone is behaving in an "unclassy" manner, it is him-- very immature, considering the fact that they already "got naked."

Hmm

Posted by Finbuff
Yeah this doesn't sound like any Cancer I know, and for sure not me.
Good lord when I was younger if I wanted a girl and she was out with me more than 3 times it was
katy bar the door, I was on her, or there wasn't a fourth time! Maybe this dude is gay,
or maybe he's just insecure about performance, as others have said.
If he's pulling back now I'd guess he's not very interested if he knows you want him sexually.
I guess I've had a few girls I've been with that wanted me but I didn't want them.
But usually I wouldn't even go out with someone I wasn't physically attracted to.
This whole thing seem very strange.

click to expand

This ^^.

And mind you, I think the deficiency here is his-- not hers.

The whole situation does not make sense; she's been honest... but he seems to be hiding something.

So my update. I invited him over to chat, and hang, he cancelled on me because of work. We had a busy week and didn't really talk. He had to leave town for 10 days, so I just emailed him my side of things Friday night (more for me than for him). I laid everything out flat in it mostly to get it off my chest. I know he is out of town and busy, but he hasn't responded yet.. So I am figuring I won't get a response, which really is the response. If he is gonna be immature and ignore me he can go ahead. I am not spending anymore time or energy on it. He can see how cold I can be now....

Two Cancers not having sex means someone is not into the other.
Cancer males are very assertive toward me and I love it.
If only I could find one where my feelings are mutual. 😢

Posted by Damnata
I honestly feel some Cancer Women need their hand held throughout the entire courtship, relationship, marriage and beyond.

Yes please! 😛

Posted by xMoonMan

Posted by That1Girl
So my update. I invited him over to chat, and hang, he cancelled on me because of work. We had a busy week and didn't really talk. He had to leave town for 10 days, so I just emailed him my side of things Friday night (more for me than for him). I laid everything out flat in it mostly to get it off my chest. I know he is out of town and busy, but he hasn't responded yet.. So I am figuring I won't get a response, which really is the response. If he is gonna be immature and ignore me he can go ahead. I am not spending anymore time or energy on it. He can see how cold I can be now....

Yup, because things aren't turning out how you hoped, wanted or fantasized about, now he becomes the bad guy.

Based on the personal information you've provided on the situation since you arrived on the Cancer board, I think he has done the decent thing and not used you for sex..
He has already foreseen the complications that lay ahead with you.
Personally, I think he has done the right thing at this point in time, by keeping some distance (physical & emotional) between you.

click to expand

He's not a bad guy, just immature. You don't tell someone you need to talk to them and then ignore them completely. If he needs distance that is fine, just say something other than we need to talk/hang

@ Finbuff glad someone else sees that is really rude. Even if his response was "I have no clue why we hooked up you are a crazy bitch and I don't like you at all" I would have been ok with it. NO response is just ill mannered. He is being ignored, well minus work stuff, which will consist of emails only regarding work, for the next few weeks. Then I am a grad student and will only have to associate with him if I want to. Which would take some apologizing from him (I don't think that is ever happening)

@ CC LOL NO WAY our charts are:

Mine:7-18-89
Sun: Cancer
Moon: Capricorn
Mercury: Cancer
Venus: Leo
Mars: Leo
Jupiter: Gemini
Saturn: Capricorn
Uranus: Capricorn
Neptune: Capricorn
Pluto: Scorpio
Lilith: Libra
Asc Node: Aquarius

His: 7-12-83
Sun: Cancer
Moon: Leo
Mercury: Cancer
Venus: Virgo
Mars: Cancer
Jupiter: Sagittarius
Saturn: Libra
Uranus: Sagittarius
Neptune: Sagittarius
Pluto: Libra
Lilith: Aquarius
Asc Node: Gemini


@XMoon LOL I am the furthest thing away from being a player... This is the first time I have seen a guy since my fathers child and I split (Over a year ago). I haven;t even flirted :-) and I am awful at it

I'm not chasing, I'm done. He was super into at first and it obviously fizzled. However, I don't see me as classless or desperate. It was a weird situation, one that is very out of character for me. My last BF and I didn't even kiss for the first 2 months we were together... I just didn't know how to handle the weirdness. Now I know with weirdness let it go, it's not real

How was I playing him? I have been honest and upfront with him the whole time? If that's how it came off I'd like to know how, to avoid it in the future

Posted by That1Girl
For those that have been following my post...I have no clue why I am so proud of this (probably because I was terrified to do it), but I finally asked my confusing cancer man why we haven't had sex. His response? "You haven't done anything wrong. I don't know I guess I just didn't want to rush anything because I wasn't sure what exactly we were doing, I usually don't like to mix business with pleasure as a rule thats usually bad So I honestly wasn't sure what to do I tend to over think things". I Told him I over analyze/think too and that I am sorry if I have made it awkward with my question or at school to which he responded with "Don't worry about it you didn't make things awkward".

Now my little brain is over analyzing and thinking this... why did he use past tense the whole time? Does that mean no more? At the same time he had a good opportunity to tell me he doesn't want to be in a relationship but he didn't...

Now what do I do?

TRUE: If a Cancer man tells you he's NOT trying to rush things (sexually), while you two are in a relationship or dating, it's an extremely good sign!

Trust me. There's a very good reason why he would make that statement.