I finally got a reaction from him, but am I reading him right. Please help!
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Libra14 on Tuesday, August 1, 2017 and has 25 replies.
Hi, I need some help. I can't figure out if my Cancer man is honestly into our relationship and loves me like he says or if I'm being hypersensitive.
A little background He was absolutely wonderful in the beginning texting, calling and everything that should be done at the beginning of a relationship. About a month in he disappeared for about 4 days. He apologized profusely when he came back around. We got back on track then about three weeks later he disappeared again for 3 days. (I tried to be patient because I read on here they do that). When I saw him he felt so bad and just went out of his way to tell me how bad he felt and he was sorry. I get why he did it I know he has a crazy job during the summer with no actual set hours and he has his daughter half the time and his son is being a teenage pain. Anyway during this time his texting became very few just enough to set up times to see me and calls are not there at all he absolutely hates talking on the phone ( honestly he doesn't even talk to his mom on the phone he would rather see you and talk in person then). Also mentioning we see each other at least twice a week and live about an hours drive away from each other.
Now we are up to last Friday, he stopped with his friend after work for a beer before I got there. We'll I got to his house like 5-10 min before he did. I shouldn't have been, but I was irritated ( he has never done that before, so I shouldn't have been upset). He again apologized. As we were walking into his house all these feelings of him never really texting me back and I always feel like I have to initiate any texting and now he was late (One thing real quick he tells me all the time he loves me and always shows me he does.) We'll I went a little overboard and said "I think we need to end this." Oh my gosh the look in his eyes just about killed me. He looked absolutely crushed there were tears in his eyes and he couldn't even say anything. I immediately apologized and told him I was basically being a B because I was upset. He forgave me and believe it or not we had a good night together.
The next morning I told him I need more communication from him and he agreed. All weekend he was so good with responding even though he had a ton of plumbing work at his house and his daughter was there. Come Monday he's at work again and I didn't hear from him until later yes we saw each other last night. Then today again no responses or anything. I know, I know the guy is at work. I get it.
My question I need help with is do you all think he's into this relationship and me and I need to relax or do you think he just playing the game? I honestly love him and he is wonderful when we are together it's just the communication outside of being together.
(Side note in My defense I came out of a very emotionally, physically abusive marriage.) He gets my past and has been very patient.
A little background He was absolutely wonderful in the beginning texting, calling and everything that should be done at the beginning of a relationship. About a month in he disappeared for about 4 days. He apologized profusely when he came back around. We got back on track then about three weeks later he disappeared again for 3 days. (I tried to be patient because I read on here they do that). When I saw him he felt so bad and just went out of his way to tell me how bad he felt and he was sorry. I get why he did it I know he has a crazy job during the summer with no actual set hours and he has his daughter half the time and his son is being a teenage pain. Anyway during this time his texting became very few just enough to set up times to see me and calls are not there at all he absolutely hates talking on the phone ( honestly he doesn't even talk to his mom on the phone he would rather see you and talk in person then). Also mentioning we see each other at least twice a week and live about an hours drive away from each other.
Now we are up to last Friday, he stopped with his friend after work for a beer before I got there. We'll I got to his house like 5-10 min before he did. I shouldn't have been, but I was irritated ( he has never done that before, so I shouldn't have been upset). He again apologized. As we were walking into his house all these feelings of him never really texting me back and I always feel like I have to initiate any texting and now he was late (One thing real quick he tells me all the time he loves me and always shows me he does.) We'll I went a little overboard and said "I think we need to end this." Oh my gosh the look in his eyes just about killed me. He looked absolutely crushed there were tears in his eyes and he couldn't even say anything. I immediately apologized and told him I was basically being a B because I was upset. He forgave me and believe it or not we had a good night together.
The next morning I told him I need more communication from him and he agreed. All weekend he was so good with responding even though he had a ton of plumbing work at his house and his daughter was there. Come Monday he's at work again and I didn't hear from him until later yes we saw each other last night. Then today again no responses or anything. I know, I know the guy is at work. I get it.
My question I need help with is do you all think he's into this relationship and me and I need to relax or do you think he just playing the game? I honestly love him and he is wonderful when we are together it's just the communication outside of being together.
(Side note in My defense I came out of a very emotionally, physically abusive marriage.) He gets my past and has been very patient.
You're on rotation. If you need to ask, then you're afraid to acknowledge what you already know. Face reality.
What?
No, I believe he loves me I guess I wasn't clear, I'm wondering if you all think Im being hard on him and I should just relax. I do not doubt he loves me.
You're right he honestly is such a good person, but he has a terrible habit of burning the candle at both ends. I think Im just being hypersensitive because of my ex and all of his cheating. When he and I are together we have so much fun and no stress. Its just when we are apart and he's got all this work to do during the day my mind goes into overdrive.
Posted by Libra14Yes... just relax... he's under a lot of pressure and expectations from work and his daughters.. see yourself as being a helpmate to him rather then being another thing in his life he needs to manage.
You're right he honestly is such a good person, but he has a terrible habit of burning the candle at both ends. I think Im just being hypersensitive because of my ex and all of his cheating. When he and I are together we have so much fun and no stress. Its just when we are apart and he's got all this work to do during the day my mind goes into overdrive.
I do not understand people who have to have insane amounts of attention or to hear from someone every fucking day.
Everyone has work, life, friends, family.
Stop making him the center of your world because all you are doing is setting it up to fail.
You got upset over him being ten minutes late? Yes you are demanding.
Everyone has work, life, friends, family.
Stop making him the center of your world because all you are doing is setting it up to fail.
You got upset over him being ten minutes late? Yes you are demanding.
IF a man goes AWOL (Absent Without Leave); don't you think he's doing drugs? He's hiding something and doesn't want you to see him in that state. Eva shrugs her shoulders.
THINK about this. When a married man has two "families" he "disappears" to go to wife #1 and vice versa. Not saying he's married, but it DOES happen...something just smells "fishy"
cyber hugs!
Love,
Eva
THINK about this. When a married man has two "families" he "disappears" to go to wife #1 and vice versa. Not saying he's married, but it DOES happen...something just smells "fishy"
cyber hugs! Love,
Eva
I know what you're saying Eva, but I know he doesn't have anyone else. We've both had issues with ex's and not interested in doing that to someone else. I guess I was shocked he got so upset when I said "we should end this".
Just a girl thank you for putting me in my place you're right I shouldn't have gotten so upset. He really is sweet.
Like I said I was shocked he was so upset. I've never had anyone get that upset over me before and I kind of freaked out. Like oh my god he really does love me...holy cow! Does that make sense?
Just a girl thank you for putting me in my place you're right I shouldn't have gotten so upset. He really is sweet.
Like I said I was shocked he was so upset. I've never had anyone get that upset over me before and I kind of freaked out. Like oh my god he really does love me...holy cow! Does that make sense?
Posted by Libra14Yes. you need to compromise. It sounds to me like he did. Now it's our turn.. you need to focus on patience when it comes to him.. maybe do other things to distract your self. He has a job AND akid, right?.. you see him rather often for living an hour away.. sounds to me like you have something good going on, and there isn't really something to stress over... unless I am missing something..
No, I believe he loves me I guess I wasn't clear, I'm wondering if you all think Im being hard on him and I should just relax. I do not doubt he loves me.
Posted by EvatheDivaLol that's a bit of a stretch in her situation, don't you think?
IF a man goes AWOL (Absent Without Leave); don't you think he's doing drugs? He's hiding something and doesn't want you to see him in that state. Eva shrugs her shoulders.
THINK about this. When a married man has two "families" he "disappears" to go to wife #1 and vice versa. Not saying he's married, but it DOES happen...something just smells "fishy"
Love,
Eva
Posted by Libra14You get it, but you are still pushing your agenda, regardless of what you get.
Then today again no responses or anything. I know, I know the guy is at work. I get it.
.
You will be the reason this relationship fails, because you purely want him to react the way you want. Stop it. Stop punishing him, for the mistakes of the one that came before.
Thank you everyone. Yes he does have kids. You're right we do see each other a lot for living an hour away. We have seen each other twice a week, but last week it was 5 nights. All at his request. I will work on my patience. He's such a great guy I really don't want to lose him.
Nikkistar you are so correct. I'm going to try really hard to relax. He is such a goofy good man.
Posted by Libra14How long you guys been together?
Nikkistar you are so correct. I'm going to try really hard to relax. He is such a goofy good man.
Honestly only 4 months its gone very fast, but like he says we've been there, done that so we should Just keep moving forward. I know Love as and cancers aren't supposed to work, but he says he doesn't care. He isn't into astrology like I am.
I'm a libra as well and we tend to overthink things especially if someone stops responding to us we automatically start thinking it's a problem! I get it, but relax he's a Cancer with kids if you don't remember anything else just know his kids will come first!
Maybe, when you text him or call him start asking him how his children are doing, ask him about his job and just show him that your a safe place for him to go instead of climbing in his shell when things gets hard.
Nobody likes to be ignored you told him how you felt about it so don't mention it again if he cares he will correct himself. In the meantime, don't crowd him find something else to do when you see he is consumed with work and his kids. The relationship is still young men like to know that your attentive to their needs, but they also like to see that you are attending to your own business too! So relax and enjoy!
Maybe, when you text him or call him start asking him how his children are doing, ask him about his job and just show him that your a safe place for him to go instead of climbing in his shell when things gets hard.
Nobody likes to be ignored you told him how you felt about it so don't mention it again if he cares he will correct himself. In the meantime, don't crowd him find something else to do when you see he is consumed with work and his kids. The relationship is still young men like to know that your attentive to their needs, but they also like to see that you are attending to your own business too! So relax and enjoy!
Thank you everyone I will try to relax. I think it sits in the back of my mind that cancers and libras don't mix well. I always tell him his kids come first just like mine do to me.
Posted by Libra14What are his other placements and yours?
Thank you everyone I will try to relax. I think it sits in the back of my mind that cancers and libras don't mix well. I always tell him his kids come first just like mine do to me.
Posted by Baddy4040? ask your self "what can I do to make his day better?" And ask him.. he will appreciate that ?
I'm a libra as well and we tend to overthink things especially if someone stops responding to us we automatically start thinking it's a problem! I get it, but relax he's a Cancer with kids if you don't remember anything else just know his kids will come first!
Maybe, when you text him or call him start asking him how his children are doing, ask him about his job and just show him that your a safe place for him to go instead of climbing in his shell when things gets hard.
Nobody likes to be ignored you told him how you felt about it so don't mention it again if he cares he will correct himself. In the meantime, don't crowd him find something else to do when you see he is consumed with work and his kids. The relationship is still young men like to know that your attentive to their needs, but they also like to see that you are attending to your own business too! So relax and enjoy!
That's a good idea thank you. Honestly I don't know our other placements. I'm just starting to learn all of this and I'm not sure how to figure it out.
Posted by Libra14Don't get too caught up in astrology and which groups match or not. I'm a libra and I've been my Cancer man and we're engaged.
Thank you everyone I will try to relax. I think it sits in the back of my mind that cancers and libras don't mix well. I always tell him his kids come first just like mine do to me.
Honestly if there is ever something that concerns you id recommend you to talk about it with him. Peace of mind in a relationship is very important and you both should be on the same page. If you have to wonder about someone's feelings for you and you feel ignored like they don't make enough effort to see you or talk to you, there's your warning..
I think you should talk to him, see what his actions are in days following then you could make a decision
Posted by WaterDevilThus the reason I shrugged my shoulders.Posted by EvatheDivaLol that's a bit of a stretch in her situation, don't you think?
IF a man goes AWOL (Absent Without Leave); don't you think he's doing drugs? He's hiding something and doesn't want you to see him in that state. Eva shrugs her shoulders.
THINK about this. When a married man has two "families" he "disappears" to go to wife #1 and vice versa. Not saying he's married, but it DOES happen...something just smells "fishy"
Love,
Evaclick to expand
cyber hugs! Love,
Eva
I'm trying to relax. I'll remember to give him his space. Thank you for all the suggestions. Like I said I worry about the whole libra/cancer not working out and I think I'm trying to hard to make sure we are ok.
Posted by Libra14I'm seeing a Gemini and I'm a Cancer... not a great match in the zodiac but I don't care and you shouldn't either. You have to look at the other placements... those mean more then the Sun sign.
I'm trying to relax. I'll remember to give him his space. Thank you for all the suggestions. Like I said I worry about the whole libra/cancer not working out and I think I'm trying to hard to make sure we are ok.
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