I hate/love my Cancer!!
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by tears on Sunday, January 7, 2007 and has 12 replies.
Hey! I'm new to this site but I can't believe how connected I am to it already; whenever I help a friend out by giving advice, I automatically ask for the person's signs...so it's interesting that there is a site with people that do the same...
I have been dealing with this Cancer man for over a year, and I can tell you that instantly the connection was UNREAL. Sometimes I feel that we don't even have to speak for us to know what is going on in each other's minds (well, I guess I can really only speak for myself). Unfortunately, when we first met, he had recently gotten out of a relationship, that lasted longer than it was supposed to (I know that Cancers have a hard time letting go of people they truly loved...I'm experienced with the ideas of astrology). I started to experience so much feelings for him, but the way that he tried to keep his distance from me began to hurt my feelings (he would attempt to space out our meetings, so really I would see him once or twice a month, but we'd speak somewhat frequently online---which to me was another method of remaining detached from me) and myself being a Pisces, I tried to escape the situation (in my opinion, he has over the year went back and forth with his ex, as far as trying to work things out, and kept his distance because he did not want to gain feelings for me, especially when he was not sure of the future regarding his ex). I ended things with him multiple times...MULTIPLE TIMES! For multiple reasons...and weeks and months would go by, but no matter what, he would find a way to reach out to me, and we would resume our relationship...but then it became a routine...I would feel vulnerable, not feel the reciprocation that I wanted, and remove myself from the situation...and then he'd come find me. However, a few months ago, I impulsively ended things being so fed up with the mind and heart games, and ended up speaking to him to explain that I had strong feelings for him, and he told me that he felt the same (for the first time in over a year!Somehow he had found a way to avoid telling me how he felt for me and implied that it was due to the past relationship.) When it became time to have the "so, what happens now" conversation--he is once again nowhere to be found....what should I do? Should I assume that he is just playing with my feelings and does not want us to be more than what we were (which can never happen--because I am fed up)? Will he come around?
I have been dealing with this Cancer man for over a year, and I can tell you that instantly the connection was UNREAL. Sometimes I feel that we don't even have to speak for us to know what is going on in each other's minds (well, I guess I can really only speak for myself). Unfortunately, when we first met, he had recently gotten out of a relationship, that lasted longer than it was supposed to (I know that Cancers have a hard time letting go of people they truly loved...I'm experienced with the ideas of astrology). I started to experience so much feelings for him, but the way that he tried to keep his distance from me began to hurt my feelings (he would attempt to space out our meetings, so really I would see him once or twice a month, but we'd speak somewhat frequently online---which to me was another method of remaining detached from me) and myself being a Pisces, I tried to escape the situation (in my opinion, he has over the year went back and forth with his ex, as far as trying to work things out, and kept his distance because he did not want to gain feelings for me, especially when he was not sure of the future regarding his ex). I ended things with him multiple times...MULTIPLE TIMES! For multiple reasons...and weeks and months would go by, but no matter what, he would find a way to reach out to me, and we would resume our relationship...but then it became a routine...I would feel vulnerable, not feel the reciprocation that I wanted, and remove myself from the situation...and then he'd come find me. However, a few months ago, I impulsively ended things being so fed up with the mind and heart games, and ended up speaking to him to explain that I had strong feelings for him, and he told me that he felt the same (for the first time in over a year!Somehow he had found a way to avoid telling me how he felt for me and implied that it was due to the past relationship.) When it became time to have the "so, what happens now" conversation--he is once again nowhere to be found....what should I do? Should I assume that he is just playing with my feelings and does not want us to be more than what we were (which can never happen--because I am fed up)? Will he come around?
when you say he's nowhere to be found,
do you mean he isn't answering your calls and avoiding you?
or do you mean he hasn't contacted you and you haven't contacted him?
what happens when you call him?
do you mean he isn't answering your calls and avoiding you?
or do you mean he hasn't contacted you and you haven't contacted him?
what happens when you call him?
Dear Tears...
He might be afraid.
In my past relationship with a Cancer Man, I broke up with him THREE times!! And I know that I hurt him deeply. He mentioned that because of me he has had problems trusting girls again... so perhaps this answers your question... he may still be hurting and cancer men tend to hide away in their shells as a means of protecting themselves!!
If he is nowhere to be found, it is because most probably he is still grieving
My advice - when he does come back, gain his trust and first and foremost be his friend!!
He might be afraid.
In my past relationship with a Cancer Man, I broke up with him THREE times!! And I know that I hurt him deeply. He mentioned that because of me he has had problems trusting girls again... so perhaps this answers your question... he may still be hurting and cancer men tend to hide away in their shells as a means of protecting themselves!!
If he is nowhere to be found, it is because most probably he is still grieving
My advice - when he does come back, gain his trust and first and foremost be his friend!!
*sigh I know the whole "afraid" thing...as a matter of fact, that is exactly what he told me, but I cannot understand why he won't let us get to know each other better? Spend some time with one another? bEcause We obviously have the best time with each other...and it hurts my feelings, even though I know he does not do it intentionally...How do you think I can approach him?
In my experience, the best way to get a man to come around when he is like this is to not approach him, but step away from him. Start getting other interests and he will start to think about why you are losing interest and then he will begin to gain more interest in you. :-) If this doesn't work then I don't believe you have much of a chance.
he's just retreating into shell. he'll come eventually, but don't press it! be his friend first :-)
awwww...prettypisces...you are soo right...lol...im so capable of leaving him alone without a problem...even though it tears my HEART APART! but he would never know it, because I do it with such ease...and I see that it bothers him when I do it...*sigh...but I guess it's just a time issue...because everytime I leave him alone he comes looking for me...so *sigh...im hoping in time that he comes around...*shakingmyhead...but the connection is so scary...and I'm happy that im not the only one whose noticed. *smile
Start reading on other sun signs that cancer men are compatible with. They tend to love emotionally unattached people. Show him some love, give him cash. You know they love money for security reasons. Tell him that you will be there for him forever and when he asks you for something say no. And disappear. Ignore the hell out of him. Tell him how you see him in your future you'll give him all your money and invite him out and sell him out a couple of times. I don't know why they tend to love these kind of woman. When he walks up to you ignore him, and walk away like hes not saying nothing. He'll start expressing big big feelings. Act as if he doesn't exist.
Krobe03 I've noticed this about cancer men too. In that they respond to when you treat them coldly but ignore you when you're nice to them and throw back your affectionate gestures in your face.
Your advice on treating them mean and keeping them keen, well maybe this is the method that is effective in hooking a cancer but it is not a mode of behaviour I think if healthy or appropriate if you want to get any pleasure out of your relationship with him. I want a relationship that is nurturing and loving. Not one where each person treats the other like crap in order to keep them with them. That is out and out dyfunctional if you ask me. And what's more I believe there are also many other ways to have you cake and eat it with a cancer man without resorting to these dirty games. It involves being honest all the way. Honest to yourself and the other person.
So that when he does something that upsets you, you let me know about it straight away. If he makes a pattern of doing it you sit down with him and say that you are not going to continue being treated like this and let him decide what he's going to do about it. This i rewarding good behavior as opposed to bad which s kinda like the complete opposite advice that krobe03 offered.
I actually agree that krobe's method is no doubt effective but only as keeping him hooked to the unhealthy dynamic, not you as a woman who wants his sincere love.
Your advice on treating them mean and keeping them keen, well maybe this is the method that is effective in hooking a cancer but it is not a mode of behaviour I think if healthy or appropriate if you want to get any pleasure out of your relationship with him. I want a relationship that is nurturing and loving. Not one where each person treats the other like crap in order to keep them with them. That is out and out dyfunctional if you ask me. And what's more I believe there are also many other ways to have you cake and eat it with a cancer man without resorting to these dirty games. It involves being honest all the way. Honest to yourself and the other person.
So that when he does something that upsets you, you let me know about it straight away. If he makes a pattern of doing it you sit down with him and say that you are not going to continue being treated like this and let him decide what he's going to do about it. This i rewarding good behavior as opposed to bad which s kinda like the complete opposite advice that krobe03 offered.
I actually agree that krobe's method is no doubt effective but only as keeping him hooked to the unhealthy dynamic, not you as a woman who wants his sincere love.
Ugh...This is one thing I hate about us water signs "This hurt our feelings, That hurt our feelings! It's a pain in the ass! That's why people tend to steer clear of us sometimes because our skin is so damn skin...well some of us more than others.
Tears-The only thing you can do is talk. Communication is key in any relationship. Cancers do however love playing mind games. I hate being mean to my Cancer sometimes but that is the only way he sees the light. But honestly try and talk to your Cancer to see where his head is at and let him know how you feel.
I tell my Cancer ALL THE TIME how much I miss him and love him. He has never once told me he loves me but I know he does...He says he misses me-which sometimes shocks the hell out of me.
But again be firm. Playing all these mind games are really unnecessary and who the hell has the time?
Good Luck!
Tears-The only thing you can do is talk. Communication is key in any relationship. Cancers do however love playing mind games. I hate being mean to my Cancer sometimes but that is the only way he sees the light. But honestly try and talk to your Cancer to see where his head is at and let him know how you feel.
I tell my Cancer ALL THE TIME how much I miss him and love him. He has never once told me he loves me but I know he does...He says he misses me-which sometimes shocks the hell out of me.
But again be firm. Playing all these mind games are really unnecessary and who the hell has the time?
Good Luck!
I agree MellowDee.
krobe,
I never said one time to be mean to him. Not one time. DON'T ever loose your cool. Always make him aware of his feelings. If he gets mad at you tell dont be mad. He hates you to beat him out of his own game. Tell him not to be mad at you. Don't really ever tell him your feelings at all. If you can purchase the how to get a man and keep him forever manual and read on some of the things that kills off a relationship. Most of us woman are more in love with attraction, instead of really knowing what love is and how to handle situations that attract men to us, communicate with them, and make them pusue us. Men don't want a soft woman. I'm not telling you to dog him, just be the friend to him and not the committed girlfriend that you want him to be. He will then know that you can stand the test of time.
I never said one time to be mean to him. Not one time. DON'T ever loose your cool. Always make him aware of his feelings. If he gets mad at you tell dont be mad. He hates you to beat him out of his own game. Tell him not to be mad at you. Don't really ever tell him your feelings at all. If you can purchase the how to get a man and keep him forever manual and read on some of the things that kills off a relationship. Most of us woman are more in love with attraction, instead of really knowing what love is and how to handle situations that attract men to us, communicate with them, and make them pusue us. Men don't want a soft woman. I'm not telling you to dog him, just be the friend to him and not the committed girlfriend that you want him to be. He will then know that you can stand the test of time.
Leave Your Feedback
We'd love to hear your thoughts! If you're not logged in, you can still share your feedback below. Your input helps us improve the experience for everyone. To post your own content or join the conversation, please log in or create an account.
Related Topics
Or is flirting something that is usually one sided with lady Libras? Its something that they prefer initiating? Are Libr
@Fierce Dravidian
Joined: Apr 04, 2006 · Topics: 158 · Posts: 1092
I have not noticed that if ask Aquariuns by emails or sms some pointed questions, they refuse to answer. Why? Is it beca
@flex
Joined: Apr 05, 2006 · Topics: 8 · Posts: 27
I am Libra and for the ?st month or so ive been casually dating a scorpio man. We have done the dirty, (but we do other
@Sola
Joined: May 11, 2006 · Topics: 185 · Posts: 2807
@love4ever
Joined: Nov 05, 2006 · Topics: 21 · Posts: 201
put this in the aqua board too....does this combination work or is it good only for a short time ?...thanks
@flex
Joined: Apr 05, 2006 · Topics: 8 · Posts: 27
grrr.....
@houstonpeach74
Joined: May 18, 2006 · Topics: 267 · Posts: 6936
Took this from the Virgo Board. What are the characteristics or reactions of a hurt Scorpian. (Emotional Hurt) Beside
@dissolved
Joined: Dec 09, 2006 · Topics: 7 · Posts: 66
Has anyone ever noticed this or taken notice, I doubt this is just me. If you are one sign and are in close proximity
@Wings
Joined: Dec 29, 2006 · Topics: 22 · Posts: 443
Currently, when a topic reaches 20 pages, no more links to any pages beyond that appear. You need to click on reverse po
@Wings
Joined: Dec 29, 2006 · Topics: 22 · Posts: 443
@Lil.ladie.taurus
Joined: Nov 27, 2006 · Topics: 80 · Posts: 785