I just wanted to let all of the crabs know that...
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by broken_shell on Monday, May 4, 2009 and has 12 replies.
I just crawled all the way back to the darkest corner of his shell.
Does anyone else feel like this?
Does anyone else feel like this?
If you don't mind me asking...did something happen that made you pull away?
Yeah broken shell, I'm feeling the same way for no apparent reason and Smiles isn't really doing much smilin lately...
There are reasons... but I'll be alright now that I know its not just me. Let's make a deal to crawl out by the time our birthdays come around. I'm jumping out of the shell and streaking on June 24th. Fuck who doesn't like it. I'm about to be that selfish asshole that cancers are generalized as being. People I'm cool with will stay cool with as long as they follow the behavioral patterns that they have to stay on my good side. Others will encounter my dark side. I'm tired of being nice to people who will take advantage of me.
My 'birthday' resolution is to start being an asshole on a first impression. If people like the asshole in me, they deserve to be my friend. If they can't handle the asshole in me then its better they avoid my kindness... that way when I snap they won't be extremely surprised. From what I've noticed... if you're a jerk starting out, people understand that you have the potential to be that person. And if they tolerate it, you can start to show your kind side and they won't take advantage of you because they already know you might just SLAP A BITCH!
I will do this with the understanding that nothing worth having is easy to attain.
My 'birthday' resolution is to start being an asshole on a first impression. If people like the asshole in me, they deserve to be my friend. If they can't handle the asshole in me then its better they avoid my kindness... that way when I snap they won't be extremely surprised. From what I've noticed... if you're a jerk starting out, people understand that you have the potential to be that person. And if they tolerate it, you can start to show your kind side and they won't take advantage of you because they already know you might just SLAP A BITCH!
I will do this with the understanding that nothing worth having is easy to attain.
My Cancerian partner is being the complete opposite at the moment.
Last night he just couldnt stop chatting... just talk talk talk... about nothing in particular. He said he was sorry for annoying me and siad he would calm down. I didnt mind because hes not always like that.
Its like he was really excited. I found it cute
Question: When youre in one of these states (being deep inside your shell)... would a close friend/loved one be able to pull you out? I mean would you allow them to?
Last night he just couldnt stop chatting... just talk talk talk... about nothing in particular. He said he was sorry for annoying me and siad he would calm down. I didnt mind because hes not always like that.
Its like he was really excited. I found it cute
Question: When youre in one of these states (being deep inside your shell)... would a close friend/loved one be able to pull you out? I mean would you allow them to?
Oh Broken_shell....
My cancer friend also has problems with people taking advantage of her. I think its because she cares what other people think about her.
Its not about being aggressive or passive. Set yourself Boundaries. Be civil...yet do not let people cross that boundary.
For me, Trust and Respect has to be EARNED.
My cancer friend also has problems with people taking advantage of her. I think its because she cares what other people think about her.
Its not about being aggressive or passive. Set yourself Boundaries. Be civil...yet do not let people cross that boundary.
For me, Trust and Respect has to be EARNED.
LOL... everyone trusts me. Most respect me.
Respect isn't the issue. I could give 2 shits if someone respects me.
I don't have time to waste on people who don't show me respect.
Personally, certain people will be able to pull ME out of my shell... but there was a time when the only friend that could pull me out... couldn't. He was an Aqua. He was infuriated because I wouldn't talk to him... but the thing was I went a week without uttering a word... TO ANYONE! This was in 2000. I have come a long way since then. But I still get to the point where anyone's voice (when I want to be left alone) will make my face and ears red, and anything I have to say will be offensive to anyone. When this happens nobody can tell me anything... not even my MOM.
Respect isn't the issue. I could give 2 shits if someone respects me.
I don't have time to waste on people who don't show me respect.
Personally, certain people will be able to pull ME out of my shell... but there was a time when the only friend that could pull me out... couldn't. He was an Aqua. He was infuriated because I wouldn't talk to him... but the thing was I went a week without uttering a word... TO ANYONE! This was in 2000. I have come a long way since then. But I still get to the point where anyone's voice (when I want to be left alone) will make my face and ears red, and anything I have to say will be offensive to anyone. When this happens nobody can tell me anything... not even my MOM.
What I do when my partner is in this state is just BE THERE with/for him. I dont ask or hint whats wrong with him.
I couldnt just leave him in a dark state and he knows I wont. He doesnt have to talk about it.... but he eventually opens up when I DONT probe him..
Maybe you need a close, true friend to just BE THERE with you to comfort you during that time?
I couldnt just leave him in a dark state and he knows I wont. He doesnt have to talk about it.... but he eventually opens up when I DONT probe him..
Maybe you need a close, true friend to just BE THERE with you to comfort you during that time?
I guess the reason I'm in the back of my shell... is because I don't have that FRIEND.
And to avoid hurting myself by expecting or looking for them... I'll just wait here in my little dark corner until that person comes along. I'd rather get used to being alone if that's what its going to be than to lie to myself that someone will be here.
I asked my mother when I was in high school, "if you were born blind and someone offered you the chance to see for 10 seconds or a minute... would you accept the offer?" She told me "Yes, because I would have that memory." I told her, "I wouldn't... what's the point of knowing what I'm missing when I won't get it back?"
...I still feel the same way. I'd rather just accept things for what they are, or the way they're going to be.
When I have reason to believe otherwise, then I'll change the way that I feel.
And to avoid hurting myself by expecting or looking for them... I'll just wait here in my little dark corner until that person comes along. I'd rather get used to being alone if that's what its going to be than to lie to myself that someone will be here.
I asked my mother when I was in high school, "if you were born blind and someone offered you the chance to see for 10 seconds or a minute... would you accept the offer?" She told me "Yes, because I would have that memory." I told her, "I wouldn't... what's the point of knowing what I'm missing when I won't get it back?"
...I still feel the same way. I'd rather just accept things for what they are, or the way they're going to be.
When I have reason to believe otherwise, then I'll change the way that I feel.
That's nice, and thank you for the optimism ladies (Ms.P/Lou/Nihlist). But just so we're not mistaken...
I love my life. I am happy with the person I am. I wouldn't change who I am for anyone.
However, I am not happy with my situation.
Shelling (which most people don't seem to understand) is usually for self-reflection and corrective actions to be taken by ones self. A cocoon if you will. This is just the transformation I am making for myself this time.
I would probably feel better about the whole situation if I started pointing the finger and convincing myself that the problems that I'm experiencing are the faults of others... but that's just immature, and I refuse to lie to myself.
I love my life. I am happy with the person I am. I wouldn't change who I am for anyone.
However, I am not happy with my situation.
Shelling (which most people don't seem to understand) is usually for self-reflection and corrective actions to be taken by ones self. A cocoon if you will. This is just the transformation I am making for myself this time.
I would probably feel better about the whole situation if I started pointing the finger and convincing myself that the problems that I'm experiencing are the faults of others... but that's just immature, and I refuse to lie to myself.
Posted by Scorpion sting
What I do when my partner is in this state is just BE THERE with/for him. I dont ask or hint whats wrong with him.
I couldnt just leave him in a dark state and he knows I wont. He doesnt have to talk about it.... but he eventually opens up when I DONT probe him..
Maybe you need a close, true friend to just BE THERE with you to comfort you during that time?
...this is probably the best way to deal with shelling. You're a genius sting!
Well it seems everyone is experiencing some problems i see.
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