i need sumone to talk to
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Lil.ladie.taurus on Monday, January 7, 2008 and has 30 replies.
do cancers appreciate it if you try and help them, even though they really dont need ur help? or do they get annoyed becuase its unneeded drama?
you're not still talking about the same one are you?.......
im talking about my brother.... i tried to warn him about rumours ive herad baout him, and told him he should be careful.. and he got upset at me, syaing he doenst care what ppl think or sya about him, hes not a kid ne more, and i dont know him ne more.... but i was just looking out for him....
should i just mind my own business, does he not see that i didnt mean to upset him or act liek he cnat take care of himself....i dont know
i feel stupid now
should i just mind my own business, does he not see that i didnt mean to upset him or act liek he cnat take care of himself....i dont know
i feel stupid nowi jus hope he knows i only do it cuz i care
lil ladie it all depends on the approach. with a cancer if you come at us non chalantly and tell us then we will probably listen without getting defensive but if you come at us in an aggresive way then we will probably put our guard up. let things cool down for a bit and then approach him in a cool manner and just say hey i didn't mean to upset you i love you and was just looking out for you. i know you can handle your own problems but as your sister i was just concerned..and then leave it at that. he will think about it and will finally see that you were just being a loving sister. i am sure he has probably heard the rumors and with you telling him again it might have upset him so believe him when he says he doesn't care. i am the same way. i don't care what ppl say about me cause their opinion doesn't matter in the least.
yah i came at him in an aggressive approach becuase i was dissapointed in him.... i acted more like a parent than a friend.... i apologized to him, he jus kinda shrugged and stayed quiet...
imm afraid to say anything more to him, so i guess i will just leave it at that, and wiat for the whole thing to blow over...
imm afraid to say anything more to him, so i guess i will just leave it at that, and wiat for the whole thing to blow over...
Well cansir has already told you what to do - but I can tell you from personal experience that the protective taurean nature can sometimes be too aggressive for cancers. I had this problem once with the cancer I originally came in here asking about. His sister lent him her truck but didn't trust him with it - when she asked for it back she gave him some BS excuse and I felt I had to tell him the truth before they got into a fight [she can be a real bitch - especially with him and really hurts his feelings sometimes] He did NOT appreciate me telling him the trth - as nicely as I put it...... and told me "you're a complete ass if you think you told me anything I didn't already know" When in fact I KNOW he didn't already know.....
Sound like your brother?? We [taurus] are protective of the people we care about - it's something we have to try to control sometimes as ass-backwards as that seems.
Sound like your brother?? We [taurus] are protective of the people we care about - it's something we have to try to control sometimes as ass-backwards as that seems.
YES, it sounds like him.... i mean what i was tellin him, is sumthign i wouldnt want to hear.... and i really regret the wya i approached him about it, basically i started off yellin at him for being a rotten person, n for being stupid and not thinking about his actions and how they will affect others.......
n he TOTALLY shut me up!!!!
his actions were still wrong, but i guess its none of my business and he can handle his own, and he probably doesnt want to hear about his faults, especially from me.
n he TOTALLY shut me up!!!!
his actions were still wrong, but i guess its none of my business and he can handle his own, and he probably doesnt want to hear about his faults, especially from me.
"and he probably doesnt want to hear about his faults,"
B
I
N
G
O !
B
I
N
G
O !
lol thanks angel haha
smh they only want help when they ask for it, the best way to help a Cancer without making them mad at you for trying to help is to tell them 'Im sure you'll figure out the best way to handle it". Even if they dont figure it the first time, they'll figure it out and they cant get mad at you because you did care enough to comment and give your 2 cents.
I keep meaning to ask...... what does that mean when you type "smh" ?
i would guess it means somehow
thanks for the advice, i hope i remember that next time i want to help, before i forget and just act out of anger agian lol.... *sigh*
"in time" I've heard that one before... not referring to ignoring or anything though... interesting
Cancer's think they know everything....and don't want or take advice. I know cancers who totally F**k up things but will never allow anyone to help. My recommendation is don't help....just listen and node your head.
cause we do know everything..libradiva if you knew everything then you would have known that..lol
hey cansir... do you guys ever change your mind about what you want the end scenario to be?
geminisister no offense but you couldn't be more wrong about a cancer. the misconception is that we are very emotional which we can be (depending on the situation) but we are also extremely logical. most of the time when i have a problem it takes me a while to come up with a solution because i am going through every logical way of solving or dealing with it. we might side toward emotion but believe me we logically went through the steps.
librachick, we change our mind all the time which is what drives most ppl crazy when dealing with us. we can be very indecisive but that is because we are trying to figure out the right outcome for us. that is why we go into our shells when we have big decisions or problems we are dealing with. we take our time and try to make a smart rational decision. but having said this i will say once we have made up our minds good luck trying to change it. ppl tend to forget that we are a cardinal sign so it takes a pretty persuasive person to do that :-)
librachick, we change our mind all the time which is what drives most ppl crazy when dealing with us. we can be very indecisive but that is because we are trying to figure out the right outcome for us. that is why we go into our shells when we have big decisions or problems we are dealing with. we take our time and try to make a smart rational decision. but having said this i will say once we have made up our minds good luck trying to change it. ppl tend to forget that we are a cardinal sign so it takes a pretty persuasive person to do that :-)
Cansir, I don't know everything and I do welcome help/advice. My experience with my cancer friends they rather f**k something up then listen to good or constructive advise.
Don't get all sensitive now its not that serious.. Trust me you know you don't know everything rest my case.
Don't get all sensitive now its not that serious.. Trust me you know you don't know everything rest my case.
yall are cracking me up..i love the stereotypes so i guess every libra is a liar (which most are) and most gemini's can't keep their mouths shut for two seconds..i rest my case, lol.
thanks cansir for the insight.... and hey now! I don't like lies
I don't see how what cansir has said proves cancers can't admit to being wrong, etc..... if you actually go back and read some of his psosts you will see that he is very level headed - rational and logical in his advise and observations. And of course there is that natural touch of emotion and sympathy, caring.
*advice
smh= Shaking my head
and maybe its that Cancer men are ultimately logical instead of so emotional as the women. My cancer guy is SO cerebral that although he says he is a naturalist he's really a "think it all the way through then take a calculated risk". He definitely more introverted and its the actual intensity of the introversion that causes him to be emotional and not the situation itself. I would say that he is very passionate and emotional when the situation allows, but he isnt walking around emotionally fretting and digesting everything. I know he thinks he knows it all and he certainly trusts his own ability to get himself out of trouble. As a man I respect that he needs that for his ego and pride...I also know that for our own productivity I must master the art of giving him an idea with him ultimately reaching the conclusion to feel like he reached it (the best women are MASTERs at this skill).
and maybe its that Cancer men are ultimately logical instead of so emotional as the women. My cancer guy is SO cerebral that although he says he is a naturalist he's really a "think it all the way through then take a calculated risk". He definitely more introverted and its the actual intensity of the introversion that causes him to be emotional and not the situation itself. I would say that he is very passionate and emotional when the situation allows, but he isnt walking around emotionally fretting and digesting everything. I know he thinks he knows it all and he certainly trusts his own ability to get himself out of trouble. As a man I respect that he needs that for his ego and pride...I also know that for our own productivity I must master the art of giving him an idea with him ultimately reaching the conclusion to feel like he reached it (the best women are MASTERs at this skill).
Oh, and the one's I know do accept constructive criticism it just depends on the tone and the way you present the information to them. My cancer guy is unbelievably accountable and when he is wrong he admits it and asks how he can make it right (which I absolutely love!!!)
i can be very unrational when emotionally peaking......emotion takes over and i dont care what your logic tells u and there is no time to go through the logic.....maybe if your moon sign has an earth placement or something,then u might stop and think....otherwise cancers definitely run more on emotion....
if it is something we have time to think about...yeah then we might go thorough the logic and emotion of our decision but if its an immediant response type situation id think emotions gonna win hands down
if it is something we have time to think about...yeah then we might go thorough the logic and emotion of our decision but if its an immediant response type situation id think emotions gonna win hands down
You crabs....
gotta love us
and I do love yall...but really I think people in general (maybe Im giving some too much credit) grow up and realize its better to think before acting despite their astrological sign. I know my crab guy has gone through a lot in life that taught him some responses are just the wrong ones . His moon is Leo and I think his ascendant is Libra. He's really very nonconfrontational now that he is older and more mature. He does still do ridiculous "hanging with the guys/jock" type stuff tho.
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