I'm in love with Gay cancer man... please help!!!!

Maybe he's bi. You said he had a serous relationship with a woman in the past? Who's not to say he'll do it again. In my experience with sexual orientation, because I'm bisexual myself, he might only be gay because this 'serious relationship' he had with this woman could have possibly scarred him and he turned to males. You'll know when a cancer is interested in you, you can feel it in your bones if they're interested in you. They may say otherwise but we all know how actions speak louder than words right?

Nothing to worry about.. he'll turn straight for a scorp.

The term, "In Love" gets used too loosely.

Many people say it about every person they meet, even if it only lasts a week .. even if it was never a relationship at all.

"he was always aware of me while he was talking to someone else, but weird thing was he would walk away when I wanted to flirt with him"

My thought is that you need to re-evaluate the difference between lust and love.

I read that once a man has been with a man, he becomes addicted to men. So you maybe able to get him to come your way, but he might always have a desire to be with men secretly or openly depending on your comfort.

I don't know, I love straight men. You could be imagining he was lusting over you, but I agree with CapMermaid.....If a man desires men, he will always desire a man. I read an article on that same topic.

We are androgyne in spirit.

Why would anyone want to be with a man who desires other men?

LMFOA! Ok you got me on this note. I agree!

Another thing... I know that you've heard of "Brothas on the Down Low".. but there's a lot of men from other races who are also on the downlow. I suggest that you learn about their "culture" and how they live a secret bi-sexual life. A lot of men are like this and they can be very careless and unsafe in their sexual practices.

Some men like being what is called "a bottom".. which means they like to take it in the arse and some men like being called "a top" ... which means they like to give it in the arse.

Then you have some men who consider themselves to be "straight" even though they like getting head from men. It's really an addiction that a lot of men can not detach themselves from. Some men engage in this life style so deeply that they will have unprotected sex with a complete male stranger.. then they will return home to their girlfriends and wives.

Just something to think about, I doubt that a bi-sexual man or gay man will ever become "straight" after being with a woman. They really like having sex with men. It's a very strong desire that has a lot of power over them.

he would have either swore off women, or become a player.
when that happened to me, i did the former


From your picture Merc, I can't imagine you being a player LOL. U look so innocent. But I guess looks can be decieving. lol

""Brothas on the Down Low".. but there's a lot of men from other races who are also on the downlow"


Race? lol

Sexual desires sent to our individual ego consciousness comes from an entity that is androgynous .. it only knows it's living in human form. How silly to suggest that it might recognize ethniticity.

--------------------

"A lot of men are like this and they can be very careless and unsafe in their sexual practices."

"Some men engage in this life style so deeply that they will have unprotected sex with a complete male stranger.. "


lol, CM .. the practicing of unsafe sex has naught to do with sexual orientation, rather R.E.S.P.E.C.T, not just for the self, also life itself.

Sexual desires sent to our individual ego consciousness comes from an entity that is androgynous .. it only knows it's living in human form. How silly to suggest that it might recognize ethniticity.

I didn't suggest this.. the author of the book did. I was just reaffirming that bi-sexuality happens in every race.

Go back to Neptune, cause I'm not really understanding your argument. You're just repeating what I said.

lol, CM .. the practicing of unsafe sex has naught to do with sexual orientation, rather R.E.S.P.E.C.T, not just for the self, also life itself.



I understand that practicing safer sex has nothing to do with sexual orientation, but the topic is about "gay men" and so I answered in regards to gay men. You seem very defensive. Are you gay or bi-sexual?

"Go back to Neptune, cause I'm not really understanding your argument. You're just repeating what I said."


The reason why you're not understanding it is because it doesn't exist. Observations are only arguments when a person chooses subjectivity over objectivity.

"You seem very defensive."


lol .. to state an observation is niether offensive, nor defensive. It only exists to people who don't comprehend objectivity.

In other words ..

I said to suggest this was silly .. an object.

You took it to mean that I was inferring YOU to be silly, and took a defensive posture .. lol, for that is the reason to say, "Go back to Neptune" .. you took something as a personal insinuation, rather than the object of it itself.

Reminds me of a friend of mine ..

Her husband said, "Quite bitching at me"

She launched a full-blown relentless arguement over him calling her a bitch .. when reality, he didn't. He didn't call her anything.


lol, people are so silly (like my friend), closed-minded, living in some reality that goes beyond any reason or rationality.

"The reason why you're not understanding it is because it doesn't exist. Observations are only arguments when a person chooses subjectivity over objectivity."



lol...Okay, I get what you're saying. It's like that saying "Enlightenment is a Joke". Meaning that the thoughts of our mind needs to be "right" or needs to be "wrong" or our mind needs to have this or our mind needs to have that. It does not mean that we go without. We still have preferences. We still take care of ourselves. We do behold ourselves with self-love and we recognize a certain humbleness.

I understand what you're saying, completely... but I AM looking at it from a subjective stand-point.. that's that choice I made because I have free-will.

Exactly ..

I was just commenting that the soul knows no seperation of race, that's all. Nothing against you, or you because you said .. just the object of it, itself .. it's silly.

Something I don't understand about people, and perhaps this is just me being a Pisces, where no sexual boundaries exist .. but, aren't we here to experience? What difference does it make about race, gender, religious preference, age?

Aren't we just suppose to love? Labels are there by choice .. we have free will and choose to make a definition .. and that's just incomprehensible to me. We're just people, aren't we?

So, what that he was with a woman and now with a man? That doesn't change who is he inside?

"people are so silly (like my friend), closed-minded, living in some reality that goes beyond any reason or rationality"


Take your "silly, closed-minded" friend for example. So in your eye's she is "closed-minded.. and silly". But why does it matter to you? Are her choices affecting you in someway?... or is it you that must be "right" or "wrong"?

This is a discussion group, where people practice their free-will. They can choose to be enlightened, they can choose to be judgemental...they can make any choice that they please.. as long as they do not hurt anyone.

Sometimes silly judgements is needed for people to use discernment. Not letting people just "BE" is the path that your chosing... so be it, it's ur free will. But their will always be people who disagree... doesn't mean that they are silly and close-minded. It's just the path that they have to take.

"I was just commenting that the soul knows no seperation of race, that's all. Nothing against you, or you because you said .. just the object of it, itself .. it's silly."


And I was just saying the same thing... but you come off like you just learned a new topic on objectivity and subjectivity. LOL I understand your eagerness to share... but you have to understand that we all have free-will. We can be narrow-minded, we can be judgemental, we can be "stupid" if we want... or we can live up to the standards of our higher-self and move towards what is in our hearts. It's our decision. lol

Being judgemental is fun.... and it is sometimes the path that one needs to take towards higher-enlightenment. Our judgement wishes to reconnect our spirits with the source of our being. When we judge, we use discernment and then we turn towards that in which we wish to co-create. And we always honor ourselves.. by co-creating an authentic vibration..Do you get my point? People can think how they want to think... as long as they do no harm to others.

Because it does hurt people .. just because it's not hurting me, or effecting me, doesn't mean I'm not concerned about people hurting others for the sake of having their own ego's stroked.

"But why does it matter to you? Are her choices affecting you in someway?... or is it you that must be "right" or "wrong"?"

lol, CM .. it's not about right or wrong. Why do people have to see in those terms? My point in saying what I did was to express that the woman was closed-minded, blinded by believing that what her husband said was a personal assault against her because her mind could only process how it effected her ego .. so, in essence, by doing this, it hurts his sense of being able to speak his mind, from his truth.

Fear .. humans seems to thrive on provoking fear.

I'm sorry that you aren't understanding where I'm coming from, however, I'm not surprised .. quantum theory dictates that the only realities we can comprehend are the ones we make for ourselves.

"Do you get my point?"

Indubitably


"People can think how they want to think... as long as they do no harm to others."

And, yet .. when I spoke my mind, saying I thought that was silly, there was no harm done to you, or anybody else .. yet, you made the decision to make it so.

In any event .. back to what I was expressing .. for this man to have sexual desires for a woman at one point and now his desire to be with a man .. is a natural condition to live up to our souls being able to experience this physical life. It knows no racial definitions.

And in my nature, being a person who believes we all are equal .. I will undoubtedly interject anytime I encounter a natural human condition being racially definitive or/and labelling. Certainly, as you said, you were referencing the claim made by the author of a book, however, it was repeated .. when recalling this condition of humanity, a memory was implanted in the brain of segregation, and I have a reaction to that and will everytime.

And it wouldn't matter which race .. humans are humans. If you had said Asians, Hispanic, etc .. I would have the same reaction because what you were describing was a human drive. I'd be willing to wager that many points were touched on in this book .. yet, race is what stuck in the mind, for labellling.


"but you come off like you just learned a new topic on objectivity and subjectivity."

lol

That is the reason I LOVE straight men. No arguements.

"In any event .. back to what I was expressing .. for this man to have sexual desires for a woman at one point and now his desire to be with a man .. is a natural condition to live up to our souls being able to experience this physical life. It knows no racial definitions."

Once again, I was not speaking in terms of "racial definitions". I was talking about a book that I read called On The DownLow. It's a book about downlow brothers (black men) and how they keep their life style a secret from their mates. I was saying that this is not specific to brothas.

I was saying that if he did decide to go "straight"... according to the book it is likely that he will always have a taste for men ..every now and again.

I have nothing against gay/bi-sexual men who are openly bi-sexual/gay.. I dislike when they are deceptive and secretive about their life style . Which is something for women to be cautious of.

"I have nothing against gay/bi-sexual men who are openly bi-sexual/gay.. I dislike when they are deceptive and secretive about their life style ."

Agreed .. however, doesn't by putting a sexual label on someone, actually cause the deception in the first place? Take Europeans, for example .. there are no sexual labels, so there is no reason to have this secret. They openly love another person, irrespective of gender, and don't fear persecution for thier natural human desires.

If just the right to love from the heart exists, without any discrimination with orientation .. then there is nothing to hide or lie about. We cause men to have this label, "On the Downlow" .. when it isn't necessary. Women can freely have physical contact with no questioning her sexuality .. and that's not fair to suggest that men don't have the same freedom of self-expression without judgement.

"Which is something for women to be cautious of."

Cautious of what?

These are just thoughts about my view on sexuality, and not intended to be a dispute.

Going back to the original thought, which prompted this thread .. the concern seems to be moreso about thinking a love is felt for a person who isn't responding to her, rather than how he expresses his sexuality.

I'd be willing to wager, the same concerns would be expressed about him not responding to her thinking she's "In Love", even if this man was sleeping with a woman. I'm not getting the feeling that her issue is with his sexual expression, rather, it's just not her and she wants it to be so.

CM just nod and smile, some people like to see their own fonts.

"I look like Rick James"



You forgot to say....... "I'm Rick James cookiemonsters" ! lol

CM just nod and smile, some people like to see their own fonts.



*Nodding and smiling*

there you go girl! lol I think P is related to quo

well he's definetly BI, and YOU as a scorpio have the power to get what ever you want. find out his boyfriends sign and do some research on it and find the things that this guy CANT offer cancer man that YOU CAN offer him and find ways to show him the better things that you can offer. i was after a cancer man at one point.. cancers love stability, comfort, and security. well i have alot of furniture that im not using right now.. i mean very nice furniture. i told him that it was available for him to borrow when he got his place and he was very delighted and told me how much he appreciated it.to cancer that is security and not to sound controlling but its also a good way to get them where you want them bc they refuse to leave a partner if this partner has something that they feel they cant live with out.

"its also a good way to get them where you want them bc they refuse to leave a partner if this partner has something that they feel they cant live with out."


Like this will give a person a warm fuzzy feeling of being cared about?

Just keep him/her from leaving by having something they want .. who gives a crap about whether the person actually likes you or not?

We'll call it "Love"

"Why on EARTH would you encourage this person to seduce this guy? WTH? You're adding to her lack of
1. sound judgement
2. emotional maturity
and 3. clear understanding of "want" vs. "empathy"- of "biological urge to proliferate" vs. romantic construct (in my own words)"


Simple 25thDecan ... that's what happens when you lack sound judgement, emotional maturity and a clear understanding .. you encourage someone to do the wrong thing, for the sake of making yourself look supportive, which means there's no REAL concern for the other person, only yourself so you'll be liked and look good.

lol

lol 25th...you're the smartest Virgo I have ever read, Im impressed.

Hun, I dont think you're in love with this man at all, you dont know him. And from what it sounds, he doesn't really want you to. If by chance you get a chance get to know him, on the premise of getting to know him, not bedding him or falling in love, that the opportunity and see really see where it can go.

"There's no sense chasing an end that fate had not prescribed"-Me

lmao 25th Im sure you would have. Country gals love country boys.