insecurity
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by lovely77 on Saturday, January 2, 2016 and has 9 replies.
Why does one feel insecure when someone constantly brings up an ex and has baggage with them. How would you feel
Posted by lovely77
Why does one feel insecure when someone constantly brings up an ex and has baggage with them. How would you feel
Such a broad subject!
I have dealt with it easy. Had no reason to be upset.
Depends on a person, totally. Why is he bringing it up...constantly specially?
I feel they arent over the ex. Maybe they in denial im over it like let it go @gemitati so how did you deal with it? Why didnt it bother you
Posted by lovely77
I feel they arent over the ex. Maybe they in denial im over it like let it go @gemitati so how did you deal with it? Why didnt it bother you
That is why it is bothering you that you feel/think he is not over ex.
I was sure my DH was over his ex because she was cheating on him mercilessly
and he ended it. He was hurt surely but he is loving himself enough to not to
let her back in his life. We did talk about it all the time. Her daughter was visiting
us and it did bothered me somewhat. But I held myself.
Maybe talking about the ex is a good solution. What is he saying that makes you uneasy?
I guess that the ex want be with them. How she is acting crazy and not being a friend and they so called broke up a year ago...im like really and she still acting like that? I cant day to much because we r not together we r dating but have been dating for a year. So a whole year ive been calm cool collective and we did have heated talks 3 times over the year about this ex. Im at a point where im just like whatever but they bring them up to talk about ehat they doing and im like ok well u want still be friends with this girl so deal with it and it shows me u still care about them. In july the ex hit them because of something my current partner may have done and im like so what if u did xyz...yall not together why is ur ex acting like that and ur just friends. Then she tries to kiss them too....im just sitting back evaluating things my deadline with them is march this is too much lol @gemitati i like to give chances and atleast try. I come here for help to see other ppl thoughts maybe im tripping.
Posted by DonnaElvira77Posted by lovely77
Why does one feel insecure when someone constantly brings up an ex and has baggage with them. How would you feel
Awful and uncared for.click to expand
Even if he says 'this witch better die'? lol
Thats the best advice your right @scorpx3 ive learned to let them talk it out and work on my oen inside growth etc. I have nothing to worry about it this is helpful.
Posted by scorpx3
Insecurities stem from the notion you lack something within yourself. When your current or potential partner starts talking about an ex, your mind (or ego I should say) will tell you "Why is he always talking about her? Is he not over her? Does she have something I don't?"
That's when you need a newsflash telling you that he is out there SPEAKING TO YOU (YOU) about a VULNERABLE TOPIC. You should realize the significance of this and continue discussing his vulnerabilities with him. By allowing him to talk through these things, you'll help him to understand his real feelings about his ex... Not to mention, there will be a greater feeling of trust and itimacy between the two of you.
Practice making your self worth more valuable. If you're feelinh insecure, there are definitely underlying weaknesses or habits that you know can be better about yourself. Stay focused on loving yourself, and you will love your partner better...and not feel so insecure while doing so.
P.S. I highly advise that you not worry about why he keeps bringing up his ex, especially on this forum. Instead, ask him, why does he think his ex is always on his mind (easy does it). Maybe plan fun things for him, give him new things to be excited about and so on. Don't mope about it, and whatever you do DON'T EVER use sensitive information he's told you against him. That's enough to destroy the bond between two people for life.
I disagree.
I think her instincts are in perfect working order-- these may be acceptable
conversations between friends, but not between lovers.
I think she is right to be apprehensive... he clearly has some unfinished
business with this other woman, if she's getting close enough to HIT
him because of something he DID to HER, in the recent past while
he was dating OP.
Posted by lovely77
... In july the ex hit them because of something my current partner may have done and im like so what if u did xyz...
yall not together why is ur ex acting like that and ur just friends. Then she tries to kiss them too....
... maybe im tripping.click to expand
You are not tripping.
Everyone is right have great perspectives.
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