Just need some opinions, PLEASE!!! New here...

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Trucapigirl73
@Trucapigirl73
14 YearsCapricorn

Comments: 0 · Posts: 24 · Topics: 5
Ok this is my first post... Sooo i am a capricorn female and i met a cancer male online and we just really hit it off talked everyday, he was very attentive a sweet and i thought pretty sincere... He told me that we are pretty much. Looking for the same thing a relationship and being a capi what i loved most is he could hold a conversation with me.. Anyway a week later we decided to meet and did and it was instant attraction, i had planned on after being out we could go back and watch movies at his house and we did but u knew that wouldn't last i'm 38 and human haha and haven't had sex in a long time and the more we made out i couldn't take it anymore ok so needless to say things happened, in the morning he took me to breakfast and we we just talking and im like tell me something about you i don't know and he's like umm i like you.. Ok awesome i like you... Blah blah blah i went home a few hours later he's like call me when u get home and i did told him thank you i really had a great night he said he did too... He works nights so we always talked not a day went by that we didnt talk well shocker he stopped talking.. Ok so a couple days later me being a tru capricorn can be such a curse and a blessing sometimes but whatever i question everthing and try and explain things but always say too much lol probably freaked him out a little but i was never mean i was just like wtf and so i asked him do you still want to talk to me and hes like yes i still want to talk to you so im like ok call me when u get a chance and i still haven't heard from him sent him a few more text and finally yesterday i just told him thanks for a great night but after a week and your not gonna talk to me obviously you dont like me and you made me feel like thanks for the f*** but leave me alone now grr so i told him bye im deleting you... So is he just a typical player?? I could've sworn he was a much sweeter guy then that, he didn't sweet talk me to get in bed, it was then next day he sweet talked me... So i should just write him off right?? I mean i did tell him i deleted him... Uggghh i know this is silly. It just sucks because i thought we were really good together and we both wanted to get to know each other more and keep taking it farther... But my emotions did get the best of me.. Ok I've said to much lol just some opinions would be nice.. Thank's sorry typed fast and grammer sucks.. I know this is so stupid i already know the answer but whatever im still a girl lol..
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BigGirlPanties
@BigGirlPanties
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2346 · Topics: 71
Yeah it was hard to read that wall of text, but I made it through. Who know what he thinkgs, but bottom line, you gave him the good without earning his respect first. Some men dont dismiss a woman (you are not a girl, you are a grown woman) who put out on the first date, but many do.

If his actions continue to be distant, you have your answer. Why angry at him, you were a willing partner? Make better choices in future. Men respect women who respect themselves.
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OceanDeep
@OceanDeep
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 12 · Posts: 2004 · Topics: 22
Posted by BigGirlPanties
Yeah it was hard to read that wall of text, but I made it through. Who know what he thinkgs, but bottom line, you gave him the good without earning his respect first. Some men dont dismiss a woman (you are not a girl, you are a grown woman) who put out on the first date, but many do.

If his actions continue to be distant, you have your answer. Why angry at him, you were a willing partner? Make better choices in future. Men respect women who respect themselves.



Sigh. I'm slowly but surely learning this myself and a hard lesson it is. Make them earn things before giving them all the goods. Although not every man cares if you sleep with them too soon, the common denominator is that which man will admit they will look at you differently when they know they're going to get to go to play at the carnival for free. They wanna play, and THEN tell you or show you after the fact what they think of women who do that, etc.

Okay, now on the astrological aspect. I can't speak for all Cancer men, but I've dealt with them enough.... they aren't all this loving, sensitive, never play with a woman's heart. Any and every Cancer guy that I know? They've been a playah more than they can shake a stick at. Maybe playah isn't the right description, more like Casanova 😉 haha Can guarantee you though if you sit back and not say a word, don't flip rag rage scream flip the fuck out or nothing more, I'd bet the carnival he shows up again 😉 This is your time to get your head and heart straight, and build that backbone up. Just cuz you gave it up early on, doesn't mean you can't still have rabbits to pull out of your hat...meaning, make him work for the best of what else you have 😉
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OceanDeep
@OceanDeep
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 12 · Posts: 2004 · Topics: 22
Posted by highlander
ima cancer, and work night shift as well. Its good you pointed out he works the nightshift, cause that takes a toll on us, have you worked the nightshift yourself?, there has been weeks I couldn't and didn't feel like talking to my partner without her initiating the conversation. Only in the weekend when we recooperate we feel like living a normal life.




Dang it! LOL I thought the same exact thing too! I work overnights myself, and it is a complete whole other life. BUT, I debated if I heard from someone I was into and just getting to know would I ignore them or not respond—? No. In a established rel, it would be different. But not if I'm into someone the LAST thing anyone would want to do is not respond, AND for the same exact reason: it's going to make the other person think there is no interest there. Espcially if we slept together right away—?? Yeah, no. I'd be sending at least one text telling them I will get ahold of them when I'm done with my life as a vampire, and walking again with living.
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Trucapigirl73
@Trucapigirl73
14 YearsCapricorn

Comments: 0 · Posts: 24 · Topics: 5
Posted by highlander
ima cancer, and work night shift as well. Its good you pointed out he works the nightshift, cause that takes a toll on us, have you worked the nightshift yourself?, there has been weeks I couldn't and didn't feel like talking to my partner without her initiating the conversation. Only in the weekend when we recooperate we feel like living a normal life.




and that's all he would of had to say, lol or anything would've been nice... I know this is stupid lol dating is so daunting when trying to find someone, i hate it it's all new to me i was married for 14 yrs before and uggg lol i wish i knew how to not be so abrubt about my feelings, lol damnit!!

Anyway thanks guys for your thoughts,
and for the people that don't think i respect myself just because i gave in to early, i absolutely respect myself..i don't think i degraded myself in anyway i had a great night i don't thinks he thought less of me because what we did i really think i just freaked him out with my fucking need to be understood lol... He is only 30 also so who know's lol.. I talk too much sometimes owell but yea just thought i'd get other people's take on what happened... So thank's again.
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Trucapigirl73
@Trucapigirl73
14 YearsCapricorn

Comments: 0 · Posts: 24 · Topics: 5
Posted by highlander
ima cancer, and work night shift as well. Its good you pointed out he works the nightshift, cause that takes a toll on us, have you worked the nightshift yourself?, there has been weeks I couldn't and didn't feel like talking to my partner without her initiating the conversation. Only in the weekend when we recooperate we feel like living a normal life.




and that's all he would of had to say, lol or anything would've been nice... I know this is stupid lol dating is so daunting when trying to find someone, i hate it it's all new to me i was married for 14 yrs before and uggg lol i wish i knew how to not be so abrubt about my feelings, lol damnit!!

Anyway thanks guys for your thoughts,
and for the people that don't think i respect myself just because i gave in to early, i absolutely respect myself..i don't think i degraded myself in anyway i had a great night i don't thinks he thought less of me because what we did i really think i just freaked him out with my fucking need to be understood lol... He is only 30 also so who know's lol.. I talk too much sometimes owell but yea just thought i'd get other people's take on what happened... So thank's again.
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OceanDeep
@OceanDeep
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 12 · Posts: 2004 · Topics: 22
I don't know that you can ever sleep with someone too soon, or not. But if I look at the history in my life the man that I waited the longest to sleep with and actually got to know, I waited three months, before I fucked his brains out? Ended up being my ex husband and we were together a total of 13 years. The others were meaningful, BUT I got to know things about them after the fact of sleeping with them that had I slowed down just a wee bit, I would've realized maybe they weren't the ones for me. So not only would I have saved myself from getting attached to men who WEREN'T ready or not wanting a relationship I also could look at it was just as much my fault as theirs. BUT, because they knew if they played it right they would get to play at my carnival for free. And they did.....then it's all: this guy wasn't past his ex, and this guy is notorius for hooking up with gals when he's drunk, and that guy had a volatile temper, all the while TELLING me they wanted to find love and I don't care if you sleep with me too soon, I'm in things for the long haul so they said. So it's only me I speak of. No one else.
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Trucapigirl73
@Trucapigirl73
14 YearsCapricorn

Comments: 0 · Posts: 24 · Topics: 5
Posted by Trucapigirl73
Posted by OceanDeep
Laughing fucking out loud right now. Apparently us Cancers are just too much for people to handle. Word to the OP. If you have nothing to be ashamed of or feel no remorse or don't feel used, duped, dumped on or whatever you shouldn't hide your posts. Considering you've hidden everyone of them, someone or somewhere a raw nerve was hit. I'm sorry you feel that way.




No actually i couldn't figure out how to end the thread...i got what i wanted...and thank'd you all, but apparently i'm locked in. And I offend people if i hide it geez, i just wanted a few opinions ...I'm new here and fuck people are jumping down my throat already wtf makes me feel very welcome thank's ...
click to expand


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OceanDeep
@OceanDeep
14 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 12 · Posts: 2004 · Topics: 22
No one's jumping down your throat. I just found it strange that you hid all of your posts, even if as you say now you wanted to end the thread. Am I offended? Absolutely not. WTF would I be. You asked a question, and quite honestly I was trying to be nice, but I will straight shoot it. You jumped in bed with a guy who isn't getting back to you, so he's either a playah or he looks at you differently now. You I think know the answer and knew the answer, and that there is the raw nerve that was hit. Unless of course there was an immediate death.

You're not locked in, it was an observation I made. I wasn't having a conversation to you at all when it came to sleeping with men too soon, I was responding to BGP and also PFF. You're new here, but I would gather you have read a lot of posts to know that these posts get so sidetracked on other subjects that a person forgets what the original post was about. There again I was surprised that if nothing offended you or nothing hit a raw nerve, you would find no need to hide ALL your posts. What's the point of hiding 'em all. I think you get what I'm saying.

And also, I had read your original response to my laughing fucking out loud. You've since deleted that and added quite a bit more of a response. I'm not the one on defense. Check 😉
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ReallyNiceAriesPerson
@ReallyNiceAriesPerson
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 4684 · Topics: 51
Posted by OceanDeep
Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
Someone described the Cancer board as crazy and full of loons.....from what I have observed, the crazies are not the actual Cancers, but the people dropping by🙂



Well they may come in crazy, but we straighten up pretty quick haha Unless of course you offend us in our house, then we just drop houses on ya 😉 lol
click to expand





It's the only way to go🙂



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Trucapigirl73
@Trucapigirl73
14 YearsCapricorn

Comments: 0 · Posts: 24 · Topics: 5
Posted by OceanDeep
No one's jumping down your throat. I just found it strange that you hid all of your posts, even if as you say now you wanted to end the thread. Am I offended? Absolutely not. WTF would I be. You asked a question, and quite honestly I was trying to be nice, but I will straight shoot it. You jumped in bed with a guy who isn't getting back to you, so he's either a playah or he looks at you differently now. You I think know the answer and knew the answer, and that there is the raw nerve that was hit. Unless of course there was an immediate death.

You're not locked in, it was an observation I made. I wasn't having a conversation to you at all when it came to sleeping with men too soon, I was responding to BGP and also PFF. You're new here, but I would gather you have read a lot of posts to know that these posts get so sidetracked on other subjects that a person forgets what the original post was about. There again I was surprised that if nothing offended you or nothing hit a raw nerve, you would find no need to hide ALL your posts. What's the point of hiding 'em all. I think you get what I'm saying.

And also, I had read your original response to my laughing fucking out loud. You've since deleted that and added quite a bit more of a response. I'm not the one on defense. Check 😉





Again all i wanted to do is take the thread down becuse i got what i wanted, some opionions. Your "observation" was very welcoming yes thank you, and I am locked in to the post because i can't delete it. I am absolutely not on the defense, i am a grown woman and what would hit any of my nerves wouldn't come from a message board it's not that serious i promise u. Since you came to your own conclusion about what you thought my intentions were and since you wrote a whole essay about it, i will let you have your moment .. I just wanted a few opinions i got them.. Thank you.. Sorry i'm not a expert at forum posting good fucking lord..I will read the damn fine print next time..drama geezus Have a great day!
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CancerianGoddess
@CancerianGoddess
17 Years1,000+ PostsCancer

Comments: 10 · Posts: 1963 · Topics: 279
Im the cancer here that doesnt sugar coat it,so just know i am gonna say how i feel and i am not trying to hurt your feelings sweety.. With that said.. You put out on the first night with a cancer?... well.. theres your mistake. You are now written off as easy, and than the cancerian mind starts thinking "Do they really want forever? Long term? because if so ,..than why did they do me at first meet? Hmmm,.. whom else are they doing this with? Maybe they are a player? oiy vey i think its best i ignore them and they go away,, after all they were still sweet and i dont really wanna hurt their feelings, i mean,.. afterall they probably have other men in line anyways so why bother"
...It dont matter your age, dont EVER sleep with a cancer on first meet!!!!!!!!!! Even if they want to .//tell them you want more than a one niter and taking thigs slow is the best way to go. Play a litle hard to get for a bit but not too slow or he may move else where. If you go slow, he is going to think you are the type of girl he can bring home to meet mom one day. He had to go slow with you so you must be one hell of a prize, and inflated his ego by thinking he won your heart in a genuine way. NOT Always looking over his shoulder wondering if your gonna go elsewhere. Its sad but true. 😢
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krobe03
@krobe03
18 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 2077 · Topics: 6
I really don't believe the first night BS with any male including Cancer males. I hear alot of women who state they did the first night still remaining with the Cancer. I truly believe she wanted relationship with him to soon vs taking things slowly. IMO, this scared him back a bit but all she has to do is let him move back a bit and don't move forward. Let him come to her. Cancer men still talk to you after the first sexual night of sex. Just learn to be a bit harder to get afterwards and intriguing a bit. Secondly, just walk away from him. I don't personally like being ignored by any man, so ignoring me will def turn me in the other direction. I don't return easily afterwards either.

Ignore him back as long as you can even if it is for months. With Cancer men having the hell if you do, hell if you don't attitude is best. He will come back around.
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Amyrh77
@Amyrh77
14 Years

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Reading all these comments about Cancer men coming back I'm smiling and nodding. I'm now calling it the Crab Dance because envisioning this as a woman standing on the sand watching a crab scuttle back and forth and in and out and up and down (I swear Katy Perry wrote that Hot and Cold song about a Cancer) is actually a little confusing. I'm still standing on the sand watching the Crab Dance and thinking to myself WTF but that's just my saggie nature of straight forward.

From my experience, and it's very similar to yours Trucapigirl73, he will come back when he wants to, despite the texting, etc, IF he wants to. Sometimes these men just disappear, someone here likened it to a crab hiding in a shell, because they need to wrap their heads around things and they need alot of space, and when I say alot I mean ALOT! Other times you know it's done. What does your heart say? Listen to it!

Patience and faith girl, if you still have any of it left......oh and the ability to stand and watch the Crab Dance until you start to understand it a little better. They do come around eventually, taking it very slowly and cautiously. If you can't forget about him then maybe let him know...........and see what happens.

Best of luck =]