Libra woman/Cancer man ...CONFUSION

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by MissLibra on Tuesday, July 30, 2013 and has 11 replies.
New to this board. Just read all of the posts. I am wow'd by the posts as I thought I was the only Libra woman not understanding her Cancer man. In a relationship (I think...LOL) with a Cancer man. In the beginning he came on fast and strong. Wanted to spend every free minute together, talking, texting, holding hands, intimacy, everything!!! I was swept off my feet and in total awe. It was perfect!!! He expressed his love to me within a week. Five weeks in, we had a disagreement that I didn't really give a second thought about. Mr Cancer, on the other hand, got all bent out of shape and withdrew from me. I asked what was wrong and asked him to talk to me about it. He said nothing was wrong. Being a Libra, and needing communication, I persisted. This was of no help. So, more little arguments ensued because the initial argument was never handled and he further withdrew.
I kept wanting to talk...to no avail. He would tell me to talk, that he was listening, but would not talk back and share his feelings. This went on for about a week. We continued to see each other but intimacy, texting and phone calls became much less on his part. In public he acted as though nothing was wrong, but when we were alone he would ignore me.
I persisted that he talk to me which resulted in him having a fit of intense anger and throwing something. He then yelled and cursed at me. I offered to leave but he said he didn't tell me I had to leave. I was so confused!!!
Since then, communication has slowed to a crawl, he will not see me, but sends little inconsequential texts from time to time. Each time we have talked on the phone it seems to start well but ends up with him hanging up on me because he gets mad. I do not yell or curse at him, may raise my voice occasionally. He questions me about everything. He does not own his part in the arguments. He says he doesn't like to argue but does nothing to fix the arguments and starts new ones.
I've asked him several times if he wants to end the relationship. All he says is " I didn't say that". Now he wants to take it slow. But there is extremely limited communication. I haven't seen him for three weeks.
This is very disheartening. I feel lost. I care for him a lot but do not have a clue how to handle him. I am feeling rejection and feel punished. Yesterday I asked if he just wants to be friends. He said I wouldn't be his friend. Why would he pull this far back and want to continue to remain in a "relationship" status if we have no
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Communication or physical contact. Can't figure out if this is the Cancer nature? Is he playing games? Maybe he's keeping me at bay until someone new arrives, just so he can say he's with someone? Any advice would be wonderful, especially from a Cancer man. BTW, we are in our 40's.
Why are you wary of love?
Well, ended it with him. Too stressful not having security in the relationship. He's a coward.
Thanks to everyone that responded. Sugarfoot, sounds like we were seeing the same guy...lol. I appreciate you sharing your experience and advice.
Posted by CluelessCancer
cut his ass out, he'll come crawling back.


When I read this I thought there was no way it was true. I broke it off with him, never expecting to hear a peep from him. Actually, hoping I wouldn't hear from him because I knew I would crumble. He called today. We talked for a while. I asked what he wants from me from this point forward. He would not give me a straight answer, only rehashing old issues. I asked if he'd meet me somewhere neutral. We did and talked more. Says we need to start over as friends and learn to talk to each other, no sex. He held my hand, touched my hair and face, and we kissed. He said I'm different than other women he's dated and I drive him crazy.
I am now more confused than I was.
CANCER MEN PLEASE HELP!!! What is really going on? Is this his game? Is this a security/trust issue? Should I take it at face value and do as he asks...friends with potential possibility? Am I missing something that I'm not seeing? Should I run for the hills?
Prior to breaking it off, I had asked him to make a choice of relationship or friends. He said he'd call that night. Two days went by and I had heard NOTHING at all. I took the non-answer as his answer. I unfriended him from FB and changed my status to single, mailed his house key back, and did not contact him.
Sunday, five days later, he called. Asked why I changed our relationship status, I could have told him I was changing it, and proceeded to act like I was the one that changed everything.
So now that we've talked again, he has called or texted every day. The conversations are very light and about trivial things.
One thing I left out earlier, when we kissed it got very steamy. I looked him in the eyes and asked if he just wanted a sex buddy. He said no that its not a good way to start. With that, I was perplexed. Why are we getting all hot and bothered so he can say no? That is when he said I drive him crazy but make him so mad he wants to choke me sometimes and laughed.
I can't figure if he really does want to just take it slow and build from there or if this is his slow release to put me in the "friend graveyard".
I've noticed cancer men have a hard time letting go of people, kinda like trophies, or afraid of closure, or just need to know there is an audience for them.
I feel "forever" in this man. The mixed signals are killing my soul.
I would listen to Sugarfoot.
Update: I agreed to be "friends" with Cancer man. The inconsequential texts have continued but have no meat to them. We have seen each other twice. I had expressed to him that I want more than a friendship. Today, he saw that I have a profile on a dating site and he sent me an add request on that site. I added him. He texted, never referenced the dating site, but asked questions about my birthdate (which he knows) and asked how work is going. I asked if he wanted to meet up today. He said he didn't know. I texted him later in the day but he's chosen to ignore me.
I think he is mad that I am on a dating site. He had made it clear that we are not in a relationship some time ago. I know he's been on other sites, but he doesn't know that I know.
My questions: why would he be mad about this? If he doesn't want to be with me, why not let me go?
Me: Him:
Sun: Libra. Cancer
Ris: Virgo. Libra
Moon: Pisces. Sag
Merc: Scorpio. Leo
Ven: Scorpio
Mars: Virgo. Libra
Jup: Virgo. Gemini
Sat: Aries. Pisces
Uran: Libra. Virgo
Nep: Scorpio. Scorpio
Pluto: Virgo. Virgo
N node.aries. Gemini
His Venus is Leo.