My Cancer and I have crossed the line...NOW WHAT?!

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by pinklibra on Tuesday, January 25, 2011 and has 5 replies.
Okay so my cancer and I have had this amazing friendship/loving/highly-over&beyond interest in one another relationship. We always have the best times together, i consider him one of my bestfriends...however we both know we dont like one another "just" as friends, its wayyyyyyyyy deeper than that and we've both admitted that to one another, when we shared our first kiss at age 13. Since then, we might go wks, or sometimes mths without speaking but we always come back to each other. There's always been a reason on why we could never try a personal one-on-one relationship, it might be the long distance, when we were younger we seperated and went to 2 diff high-schools. He's always stressing how he HATES to be far away from his gf. He just dispises it. But the biggest reason we've never gotten together exclusively is mainly due to his fear of loosing me. He says if he tries a relationship with me he wants it to be perfect. So in all the 10 yrs of us having thiscrazy love-sick/amazing friendship, we've never had sex. But a couple days ago that changed. I haven't heard from him, and i haven't contacted him because im not sure how to react, and knowing him he's prolly scared. We've gotten steamy before or spent time (never having sex b4 this) and he'd go wks or mths without contact, so it's not totally out of the norm for him to go cold turkey 4 a period of time...i just want to know what u all think will happen now?? Im a libra by the way =)
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(Reposting to make sure you see it.)
Iunno.. he's told you he's afraid to do exactly what you just started doing (ie. getting more serious), afraid it won't be "perfect" and will mess things up.. and now YOU'VE gone "no contact" as you admitted here? (Ouch! to the male ego lol)
Barring him just being a playa and wanting some trim and nothing else (and don't fool yourself - the pussy a guy has to work YEARS to get is a challenge, and he wants what's hard (or at least not EASY!) to get. That's MALES for you!) ..it's probably a combination of that thing guys do where they pull away after the deed.. cuz psycho chicks go nuts right after, and even formerly "chill" girls do too, yuck... and his fears of not "measuring up" to this fantasy that's been building for years. (Are you guys at least close enough geographically to make a go of this? You said that was a concern of his?)
Without other planetary influences to make this guy more "aloof".. his natural Cancer tendency will be to "cling"... Cancers tend to be WAAAAY more emotionally sensitive than a Libra, in a very general sense. Really, you should read more on Cancer guys. He's probably thinking you're gonna rip his heart out now, if you've gone silent and aren't calling him either, esp if that's also strange.
I don't know what to tell you to do, except to be as NORMAL as you've always been with him.. don't let this change the way you behave with him just yet (he's looking for any sign of this fucking it all up!).. because I'm a firm believer in a woman NOT losing her damn mind and chasing after a guy desperately and turning him off, in letting him step up and show you he's interested.. but a lot of Cancer males don't fit that mold... a lot of them are so emotional and sensitive that they won't risk chasing after you.. they aren't like a fiery bold Leo or Aries or even a dive-headfirst-and-see-where-it-goes Libra... a Cancer male might be licking his (perceived) wounds privately, and wondering why YOU'RE suddenly blowing him off. Can't say for sure, since I don't know the guy.
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Also.. didn't a Sag guy recently break your heart? Your "first love" and all, the guy with a huuuge pull on you? And several weeks ago, you were still all tangled up over him, wishing he'd pull it together and you could get back together?
Well.. maybe your Cancer "bff" you just slept with is being cautious with his heart, esp if he knows about the other guy, esp if he senses you have some unresolved feelings about him. Maybe he thinks he's the "rebound".. and unless you're a playa who just wants sex.. being the rebound guy for a girl you really, really like really, really sucks.
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i responded on the libra board too. But you are right. But i haven't been with my sag guy for a year. My cancer guy knows that. However...your right i know for one that he is very scared of the things you listed. But like i said its not out of the norm for us to go long periods without speaking to one another. He'd hit me up or i'd hit him up we would agree to hook up(nuthin sexual) then we'd end up making out and talking to the we hrs of the morning, then he'd go his way and i'd go mines and we go the next period w/o talkin. I just dont wana make him regret going there with me, by demanding that things change when he expressed to me b4 we went there that the reason he went so long without having sex is becuz he didn't me to be upset if we didn't become bf n gf right away afterwards...like he used me or something. He didn't want to loose everything we built. And knowing him if i say sumthing to him about it. he's going to apologize and then start calling and texting out sympathy (this is what i think) and i dont want him to do that. i want him to do it becuz he's finally genuinely ready to see where we could actually go...
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He may be your friend, but like my auntie says, "He is still a man." It would've been a good idea to agree to be exclusive with one another before having sex. But we can not turn back the hands of time so for now you do nothing. Leave him be with all of his fears/issues and he will eventually work them out on his own. When he does contact you talk to him like you normally would. And if you see him again go with a plan. Dont have sex with him unless you two are comfortable enough to be in a relationship. In the meantime go on with your life as usual.
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