my cancer is breaking my heart :(

*sigh* hi it's just me again.

where do i begin? cancer boy is acting up again. After being the perfect boyfriend (minus a few mood swings here and there) for seven months, my guy is misbehaving and it's killing me.

He's amazing when he's sober, he's attentive, affectionate, and I trust him completely. When he drinks, he turns into an utter a s s h o l e. A few weeks ago we went to a jack and jill and it seemed like every other woman there existed except for me. When I brought it up to him he apologized and spent the week making it up to me. Last weekend we went to a wedding, which was amazing until he had a few too many. I saw him pinch on of his female friends behind, and at one point a girl was all over him and it really looked like he was enjoying the attention.

my ego is so very bruised. again he's been trying all week to make it up to me, has been including me in everything, out with his friends, dinner the next day, lots of emails and phone calls, etc....but it's just not enough. i am more insecure than ever, and seriously doubting that he has feelings for me.

i was just reading about how cancer men act when they want out of a relationship though. it looks like they'll do anything to get the girl to end it. is that what's going on here? I asked him and he said no, if he wanted out he would just tell me and not waste my time. I just got an email from him inviting me to his father's 50th birthday party, but i am still so insecure.

Uh uh, being drunk is no excuse for him to act that way. Tell him to control the amount of alcohol he consumes.....otherwise, kick his ass to the curb and don;t let the door hit him on the way out.

I agree with sourpatch. Just because this crap happens when he's drunk doesn't mean he gets to be excused. If he's causing you this much trouble, time to hold your head up and dump him.

PS If you want some inspiration, visit http://www.dontdatehimgirl.com/home/ *smile*

Have you looked at his Venus? If its in Gemini, that's the problem. Cancer men with Venus in Gemini are the worst cheaters and liars. As far as the drinking, I notice that most water sign men do drink too much...

I don't know your whole situation of course, but is he much of a talker when something's bothering him? Cause I know for myself (and I'm not happy about that trait) that when I'm irritated, annoyed or in a negative mood, I can be a real pain in the ass. I get indifferent, I do things I shouldn't be doing and I end up hurting the people I love most..
All of a sudden I realise that I was wrong and I want to make it up again, like your boyfriend seems to be doing..

I don't agree with the (too much) drinking part either unless it's martini baby 😉

yes baby,i think cancerian guys r more like those features ur man has,but at the same time they r more sensitive to be attracted too by opposite sex..i'm a cancerian too,i think we r very faithful and sensitive,but take him out to a very quite place and talk to him like to r talking to your son or daughter,cos cancerian alwyas listen and change,moreso please dont ever take cancerian to places where there r too many opposite sex, cos cancerian r alwyas very entertainin and interesting...always find a quite place to make your days..there lot to say abt us...but if you need to know more,please add me to ur yahoo messenger on manyspider_27....bye

well we went out last weekend and he did it again. asked me three times to come to this stupid party, and completely blanked me out while he chatted up every other girl there.

when i got home i called him and he was too drunk to talk. i managed to tell him i was unhappy and didn't feel good about the relationship. he couldnt talk, just kept saying that he didn't know what to say, he didn't know what to say.

the next morning i called him again and he immediately said the feelings were gone for him, and that i was amazing and wonderful but he couldnt help the way he felt. i told him i felt sorry for him because he was losing out on the best thing that would ever happen to him. he told me he'd been in love twice before and got his heart broken both times, and wasn't going to let me in.

so that's that. we're done. even though i initiated it i feel like i got dumped. i dont understand how he could love these girls that treated him like crap but yet has no feelings for me, someone who would have done anything for him.

Sunniegirl, glad you dumped the jackass.

Its for the better SG,you'll be alright without him🙂

thanks guys, but i don't understand...if i did the right thing, why is it hurting like this? why do i feel like i'm the one that got rejected? why am i sitting here, waiting for him to come crawling back?

do they come back?

Because you just broke up with someone you have feelings for,it is going to hurt.You were rejected sort of.He'll be unhappy the rest of his life with that mindframe,you on the otherhand can make a mental note and learn from his mistakes in the relationship area.And the feeling of wanting them to come back knowing what they did is always there during a break up also but doesn't always happen.I wouldn't trust a cancer coming back after you dump them though even if they act like they don't care during the break up and play cool in the reunion afterwards..........one of those imaginary "crosses" associated with water signs could be the reason if he does.Might be for revenge even though he can only blame himself reality wise.

Awww M Ldy, my cancer was the exact same way .....

That's why he wanted me to treat him like my boyfriend but I couldn't call him that -- he was only my "friend".

Some women except options like that, but "intelligent" women don't 😉

OMG....let me see, it wasn't hard enough for you to see his drunken behavior around other girls right in front of your face, but then you slathered on the extra hurt by calling him to talk about it, to which you were told that this person your dating doesn't want to be monogamous with you. Now you want to know if he'll come back to you? What kind of weird science experiment are you doing with your emotions? Don't get me wrong Madame Curie - I know it's nice to have companionship and wake up with somebody that you really like, but that's what pets are for. Pets are God's way of saying "Don't lower the bar because your lonely." Clearly you know yourself well enough to know that you aren't cool with sharing your man, and by the way, You shouldn't be! He obviously had a drinking problem....girl, you deserve a boyfriend of your very own. Don't waste time with this looser, and go out and find someone who will adore you for the beautiful person you are!

I threw my crab back in the ocean where he belongs!

Ldybg377 >>..... I had to laugh and realize this cancer guy really is a looser. LOL

Good girl!

hi i know how you feel; i been dating cancer man for almost a year! he is the best looking guy and is 13yrs younger than me.
after only our 1st 2 dates, he tell me he fallen for me big time and dont know what to do, etc etc...
every date we have is magical, then he txts me few times how much he loves me... but then i dont hear from him for days... if i dont txt he wil eventualy txt and ask if everything ok!
he never ever speak on the phone, only txts! and i always have to 'plead' for him to come and see me, i see him once 3wks he lives quite far from me!
i know for sure he is not using me for sex cos we dont always get the chance and he is happy with that.
we have been fighting alot lately, one of the reason was my fualt and he has forgiven eventualy. the main reason is i dont see him enough.
he is very dedicated to his glamorous career and is studying also...
like the lady say earlier, i keep asking him if he stil love me and does he want to end it.., he assures me no!
but if i push him, he just go quite for hours and days. then txt me msgs for me thinking it is over... so i cry and only for hours or days later he says he loves me and i wil never lose him!
a freind of mine showed me proof he been chatting to a girl online, same where we met! he wil let me know soon if he plan on meeting her (they setting him up)
he told me he does reply to his messages but would never meet anyone... so this wil be interesting to find out!
like the lady say tho... it does feel like he try to make me dump him! so it is easier for him i guess...

i think you should break up with him if you have that many trust issues

The fact that he's acting freaky and misbehavin' while drunk doesn't mean that he doesn't have strong feelings for you, or that he is even thinking much about other women. Cancers are notorious flirts. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean its acceptable behavior either. It sounds like he is aware of his bad behavior and trying to "make up" for it, but it doesn't seem as if you've confronted him about the issue and told him exactly how you felt about it, how it makes you feel when he does it, and why it doesn't work for you. This is what you need to do...and the way that he responds (or not) when you really lay out your feelings directly and explicitly to him will let you know WITHOUT A DOUBT where you stand with him. Then you can decide whether or not that is good enough for YOU. Cancer men will almost always make immediate changes for the special person in their life. When a cancer won't make a change for you, its a BIG sign.

uh, girlie I have too much to say on this one...

first, get some pride in yourself. what the hell are you doing feeling "insecure?" puhlease, if you don't have any pride or confidence in yourself no one else will.

second, he doesn't know how to handle liquor, stop taking him with you where alcohol is involved.

your main problem is feeling insecure. I am a Cancer and I am quite the flirt/friendly in social settings. that's how we are... Men will be men...

i jsut had awful time wi my cancer man this last wk... wel it not been perfect for while but we live far apart which stress me out... wel he did something wrong but we love each other n giving it another go...again!!! we seem to fight alot but really do love each other. cancer n aries hav to work extra hard and understand each other to make a good team!

This is what Cancer men do!!! They don't have the guys to breakup with you, they just make it so difficult for you to understand them that they want you to leave. Cancer men are always VERY INSECURE!! They will never be completely secure in a relationship, so they will always want anyone and everyone's attention. They are very selfish.

lol

I am cancer female and I dont date cancer men, the 1 I dated was awful to say the least.

You will be A ok.......its for te best in the long run. :-)

Sunnni:

He's being disrespectful, astrology aside.

Tell him to wise the hell up.

Yay, more LoLzzzz!!

Hello ladies and gentleman-

I'm kitty kitty and I'm new to this forum, but I'm glad I found you guys. I need/want your opinions on the cancer man that is/was in my life.I will try to make the story short but there is a lot of info to give you guys so you can get the full picture and I can get some honest answers. Bare with me, as I said I'm new to this so here goes.. alright I'm a 39 year old lady and me and this cancer guy work at the same place. I have never dated anyone I work with and for good reason. Anyway this cancer man is also 39 and we were good friends who flirted and talked crap alot when we would run into each other. I always thought he was cute but I also thought he was a bit of a ladies man as well and I told him so. anyway I was just getting out of a 6 year engagement when he and I would talk and he would invite me over to his house to have cocktails and talk. It was all pretty harmless until one day things changed. He kissed me and we ended up sleeping together. Our conversatons would last for hours and all of a sudden we found ourselves really liking one another so we started spending all of our time together, him taking me to meet his family spending time with them ect. They loved me and I loved them. The problem is although this man was showing me how much he liked me and told me he wanted a relationship with me, I told him I needed a little more time because I had just gotten out of a situation and he understood no pressure. Anyway after about 7 to 8 months of dating I decided that I was ready to get into a relationship with him and he agreed. Cool. Then all a sudden he told me about a past "friend" whom he has know for about 15 years comes back into the picture. She starts calling him talking about her husband is doing this and that and he would talk to her. My ex cheated on me in the end and I started to feel insecure. He told me I could trust him and not to worry. Should have left it alone but I didn't my insecurities got the better of me and I started feeling like he really didn't want to be in the relationship so I gave him a ultamatim. (bad idea) mind you we had only been a couple for a couple of months although we acted like a couple well before that because we would spend everyday together. Anyhoo I told him he had until a certain time to tell me if he really wanted to be exclusive with me. So then he tells me I think it is best if we go back to being friends without the title of being in a realationship.

So he tells me that nothing will change he just feels like maybe we moved to fast. But then things did change he would spend time with this other woman and then would still have me coming to family functons ect. I was hurt but I was trying to give him his space. Anyway,to make matters worse there is a co worker of mine who I will say she is less than a pillar of society (she is sleeping with best friends husband and has been for 4 years) and she is just the type of person who I confided some things in about him (bad idea I know). Anyway she one day out of the blue picks up her work phone and calls him to ask him how his day is going. he tells me she calls him and ask me why was she calling him. I aske her about it and she tells me that she just wanted to see how his day was going and she felt like that was alright since me, her, and him hung out at that time maybe once or twice. Still I told her I could see if she saw him in passing and asked how his day was going but to just pick up the phone and call him was wierd and not cool. My girlfriends I have would never do something like me and It kind of made me feel like she was just trying to see what trouble she could get into. Anyway moving forward it became a big mess because I started to feel like something was going on between them and I confronted both of them and they denied. He claimed his feelings were hurt and that I insulted his character and her like wise. But there were two many coiencedences between the two for me to ingnore the fact that something was/ or may have been going on. Anyway.. fast forwar to oct. my mother was diagnoised with breast cancer and was going to have surgery to remove one of her breast so I flew down to be with her. He was very supportive and texted me to tell me he missed me and what not. Meanwhile he has made it clear to me that when he is not in a managomous relationship that he is free to see and screw whoever he wants all the while still seeing me. Anyway, at that time he was still spending holidays and a lot of time with me. Anyway, I know guys the story is long but it is almost over..lol.. I myself became sick and ended up in the hospital on Christmas Eve. He and his family were there to support me thoughout this time. My uncle passed away in january and he took off from work to be with me.. took me to all of my doctor's appointments and was there when I had to have open heart surgery and took care of me after I left the hospital. Anyway, this other co-owrker is

also trying to be there for me but I have a bad feeling about her and that she and him are still fooling around all the while trying to make me feel like there is nothing going on. Anyway we had been spending every holiday together until Easter weekend then he didn't call to wish me a happy easter or nothing. He tells me you didn't call to wish me a happy easter either. Memorial Day comes around and his sister they are he sweetest invites me to his house. He didn't she did. Anyway I didn't go because I was not feeling well. father's day rolls around and I have keys to his house and he has them to mine and I leave a father's day card by his door. He calls that morning to tell me thank you and that he was going to drop off his kids and come back home and sleep because they wore him out. Now mind you he emails me everyday at work to say how are you, and we say a few words and that is it. He ask me to spend time with him on occassion during the weekday but never on the weekend when before we were inseperatable on the weekends.We were still having sex because Iwas weak to him and it was always with such intensity between us two that I was sure he still had the same feelings for me that I had for him, but then again he is the type to let me know that he can have sex with a woman and not be in a realationship. Meanwhile this chick at work is 10 years younger than me and him but she is really catty. She is always saying things to make me think something is going on between them but yet she tells me she feels offended that I would think something is going on between them. She then tells me how he tells her that he likes me but he saw some red flags and he doesn't know what the future holds for us. I stopped telling her what is going on with him because I just don't trust her and Ifeel in my heart that they may both be playing me but I have no proof. Anyway, it would hurt me deeply if I found out that my suspensions are true but at the same time they act like they are doing something all though they don't know people have seen them together not in a romantic way but always talking together and what not. Anyway I ask him point blank if he only loves and cares about me in a friendship way and not in a romantic way and he tells me that is not true. I'm confused because he is spending less time with me no holidays and just acts like I'm a bootly call although he says he doesn't feel that way at all. Anyway, I finally got enough stength to stop having sex with him j

just recently. One evening he came over and we went to sleep and I woke up around 5 in the morning and I asked was he awake and he said sort of.. so I proceeded to tell him that I know you must either be really committed to the new lady (who I suspect is the co-worker)and I know you don't mean to hurt me but you are and I can tell in his actions that he no longer feels the way he once did for me, although I still feel a great deal for him and that either you are falling in love with this lady or you are close to it. I told him that I'm surprised that he has not asked for his key back to his house yet but it will only be a matter of time so I will give them to you now. I also told him I can see change even when we do sleep together. he used to want to hold me and cuddle up close.. now I'm on one side of the bed and he is on the other.. anyway the whole time I'm talking it is dark and he has not said anything at all in response to what I'm saying. I was not going to repeat myself because I felt like he heard me so I roll over and say nothing.a few min later he scoots up behind me, puts his arm around me and 20 min later the alarm goes off and he says good morning and kissed me on the lips. Ask me how I slept blah-blah. He then gets up and holds me tells me to have a good day, kissed me and leaves. He acted like he didn't hear one word I said. I hear on this forum that cancer men "feel alot" but I can't tell. My thing is if you want the co-worker who I told him what she is doing to her friend and you want that over me (all though as I said I can't prove it the why is it that everytime I give you the opprotunity to make a clean break he doesn't)I would think he would be like here is your key I will take mind and we can let it be. But no. although he doesn't say to much he still emails me everyday to say hello. Why if you really don't want me and why can't he see that he is hurting me deeply because I miss him and the times we share which at the time were genuine but yet this co-worker has put all sorts of negative things in his ear and he believes and why is she trying to act like she is my friend when I know damn well she is not. It is almost like they get off on trying to antagnise me more so her than him because she is that type of individual. Sometimes I think that he still has feelings for me but I don't know. I do know how he acts when he likes someone and obviously I'm no longer the recepitant of those feelings any more but he acts like he still wants

me in his life but he is not sure in what capacity. His family adores me and I adore them. I mean why even be there for me through all of the surgeries unless he did it out of guilt..sigh.. I don't know what to think or do at this point. Sometimes I want to believe that he misses me and feels the same for me but won't address the issue because of rejection and that is basically the exact same reason why I won't call him to come over or ask him to do anything because I tired of rejection. He came over one time and I had a couple of male friends call me and he didn't say anthing. The only thing he tells me is what can I say to you about that when I'm seeing other people myself. Then why won't he take his house keys back or maybe he will, it is just a matter of time. I don't know. He prides himself on being a player and he acts very cocky at times simply because he knows how I feel about him. I don't call anymore because as I said I'm tired of the rejection. I'm sure him and this lady at work get a kick out of me because she is always asking me questons about me and him or she is boasting about her and all her men. She is a gemini and she feels like she is queen sheba. I could say more on her but I wont, and Like I said I have no proof. anyway thank you guys for being so patient and listening . I just wanted to know if I had any hope of this man coming back in my life or if he really cares about me at all. His actions in the past have showed that he cares but not so much now so... I have been betrayed by 2 of my exes who slept with friends of mine. This co worker is a associate the other ladies were friends of 10 years and more and he knows this and so does she. Anyway, I though maybe he could feel my pain and want to come back. His sister tells me he like me a lot but I can't tell anymore and I don't think he does. I just want to know why he won't come and get what he wants so he can give it to his new female friend and I will walk away from the situation completly. Right now it is hard but I'm making it day by day. Ijust feel so alone and I miss what we had. I know I made some mistakes with him but I was hoping for a second chance to show him how much he means to me but instead he is showing me that he can be a jerk sometimes and that he just wants to play I guess..anyway just wanted some feedback..sigh.. thank for your ears and listening. Sorry it is so long but I really needed to get this off my chest. and any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks. Kitty

Lol thats funny ! i turn into the biggest asshole when i drink and it doesn't take much !!

Lol thats funny ! i turn into the biggest asshole when i drink and it doesn't take much !!