My cancer man doesn't love me....
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by luvelycancer on Monday, July 17, 2006 and has 12 replies.
My cancer man and I have been together for 7 months now. And I can honestly say that I love him; we have been through so much within these 7 months, and I have went through so much to prove to him that I am good woman and that I am not out here to hurt him. I have done so much for him, and I thought that after all of this time and after everything I have done and put up with he would feel some form of love for me.
Well let me get straight to the point everything was fine over the weekend until yesterday. I stayed over his house (I actually stay with him more than I stay at my own place); On Saturday his mom threw a party for him and I, his birthday is today and mine is on Saturday, and that was fun, I loved every moment of it. Let me add that his family loves and adores me. Anyway, then yesterday we were talking about how the feelings are mutual between us, he said the only difference is that he cannot say that he loves me because love is a strong word, he said eventually he may feel that way just not now. When he told me that it all came to me, that explains why he's not willing to compromise and make certain sacrifices for the relationship, why he has this nochalant attitude as if he doesn't care how I feel or what happens to us. To be completely honest it hurts because I really thought his feelings were strong for me, I mean he did tell me he was falling for me, and that his feelings are really deep for me and grows deeper everyday (what does that mean?)I just thought it was hard for him to be open and expressive about, but I was so wrong. Now I am thinking to myself I have done so much, what more can I do? It seems to me it's going to be more difficult and I actually feel that since he doesn't have any form of love for me that makes him capable of doing things he has no business doing, and he's going to continue to treat me like he doesn't care because his feelings has not reached that level. What do I do? I am so hurt and confused right now. And from what he told me I have showed him something different than what he's use to, and that's a great thing. I basically showed him that there are good women out there and I am one of them. Please someone, everyone HELP ME!
Well let me get straight to the point everything was fine over the weekend until yesterday. I stayed over his house (I actually stay with him more than I stay at my own place); On Saturday his mom threw a party for him and I, his birthday is today and mine is on Saturday, and that was fun, I loved every moment of it. Let me add that his family loves and adores me. Anyway, then yesterday we were talking about how the feelings are mutual between us, he said the only difference is that he cannot say that he loves me because love is a strong word, he said eventually he may feel that way just not now. When he told me that it all came to me, that explains why he's not willing to compromise and make certain sacrifices for the relationship, why he has this nochalant attitude as if he doesn't care how I feel or what happens to us. To be completely honest it hurts because I really thought his feelings were strong for me, I mean he did tell me he was falling for me, and that his feelings are really deep for me and grows deeper everyday (what does that mean?)I just thought it was hard for him to be open and expressive about, but I was so wrong. Now I am thinking to myself I have done so much, what more can I do? It seems to me it's going to be more difficult and I actually feel that since he doesn't have any form of love for me that makes him capable of doing things he has no business doing, and he's going to continue to treat me like he doesn't care because his feelings has not reached that level. What do I do? I am so hurt and confused right now. And from what he told me I have showed him something different than what he's use to, and that's a great thing. I basically showed him that there are good women out there and I am one of them. Please someone, everyone HELP ME!
OH No, you poor thing 
Hey, you are not the only one whose been throught this. Look through the cancer board and you should find so help.
Look on the capricorn board too, I posted a thread concerning EXACTLY what you are going through. If you want the name of it, let me know
Hey, you are not the only one whose been throught this. Look through the cancer board and you should find so help.
Look on the capricorn board too, I posted a thread concerning EXACTLY what you are going through. If you want the name of it, let me know
Thanks what's the name of the board.
Hey luv....what your going thru is everyone's fear, of putting yourself out there at the risk that the feelings will be reciprocated, I have felt that pain myself. You will be the only who can know what is right for your particular situation, but maybe you can focus your thoughts and emotions by what others have gone thru and get some comfort in knowing that so many struggle with the same issues in life.
If it were me, and I found it hurt so much to remain the status quo and knew a change is needed, then you must be willing to accept the risk from the outcome of asking for a change. ie. Let him know that your feelings are strong, that his lack of emotional committment does hurt you and make you feel insecure about your future together, that he needs to make a decision about whether he wants you in his life and how much he is willing to do to keep you. It's a tough option, but like pulling a bandaid can be quick and painful, it can be less painfull than slowly trying to work a small bit at a time and hope that it wont hurt as bad, but actually prolong the painful experience. The risk is that he comes back and says, no thanks, I just don't need this kind of pressure or committment, I like it on easy street. It will hurt, but maybe less than if you let things drag on as they are. On the other hand, some time off for him to think things thru and realize how much he wants you in his life, it may be exactly what he needs to committ to you and bring you as much joy and you have given to him freely.
If your life has more tears then joy, it may be time for a change.
If it were me, and I found it hurt so much to remain the status quo and knew a change is needed, then you must be willing to accept the risk from the outcome of asking for a change. ie. Let him know that your feelings are strong, that his lack of emotional committment does hurt you and make you feel insecure about your future together, that he needs to make a decision about whether he wants you in his life and how much he is willing to do to keep you. It's a tough option, but like pulling a bandaid can be quick and painful, it can be less painfull than slowly trying to work a small bit at a time and hope that it wont hurt as bad, but actually prolong the painful experience. The risk is that he comes back and says, no thanks, I just don't need this kind of pressure or committment, I like it on easy street. It will hurt, but maybe less than if you let things drag on as they are. On the other hand, some time off for him to think things thru and realize how much he wants you in his life, it may be exactly what he needs to committ to you and bring you as much joy and you have given to him freely.
If your life has more tears then joy, it may be time for a change.
I honestly feel like changing my number and never talking to him again. But right now I am going to pull myself back, because it honestly does hurt to know that after all I've done and put up with he doesn't feel a drop of love for me.
Hey, the name of the board it called "So it's Like That", you can find it on the capricorn board
AWWWWW
;_; That's such a touching story!
I say, BEAT HIM WITH A BAT WITH A NAIL IN THE END!
;_; That's such a touching story!
I say, BEAT HIM WITH A BAT WITH A NAIL IN THE END!
7 months is nothing,i've been through it for 9 years..the emotional turbulance,sarcasm,,u name it..i did everything for her.We were pretty close at first,some of our friends even classified us as husband and wife,but pretty soon,once she got everything she wanted,she wanted to keep a distance.."We are too close".."we are just friends"..blah..blah
I brought her up from rock bottom and helped her in her career till she reached a good position,i helped her sis to get a scholership..came into her house and helped her mend this and that,i remembered her whole family birthday..I called everyday to find out how she was,i paid for her lunches and dinners..and one fine day,she told me to F* off..9 years guys..imagine that..i respected the relationship so much and she kicked me out so easily..
I just hope to god that she falls face down once day and kill her ego once and for all
I brought her up from rock bottom and helped her in her career till she reached a good position,i helped her sis to get a scholership..came into her house and helped her mend this and that,i remembered her whole family birthday..I called everyday to find out how she was,i paid for her lunches and dinners..and one fine day,she told me to F* off..9 years guys..imagine that..i respected the relationship so much and she kicked me out so easily..
I just hope to god that she falls face down once day and kill her ego once and for all
Couldn't help but reply...long story short, after 5 years of not speaking to an ex b/c he wouldn't commit (after 5 years of listening to him tell me the same things your cancer tells you) he comes out and tells me and my friends he's never loved any other woman the way he loves me! Of course he was drunk (and whorny) but I thought, he must be insane! After everything we went through-and my years of crying,shutting myself off from any other guys, and giving him the freezing cold shoulder?! I'm sure he just needed that reassurance that he could still get my attention, but I couldn't help but think how truly selfish and cruel he must really be! I understand that Cancers like a challenge, but we also love to be in love-so if he is being this aloof, then something's up. Keep in mind that Cancers appreciate adoration and detest clinginess and smothering. I'm sure you'll do what you want, but remember-after prooving what a great catch you really are he may be getting the message that you're just trying to trap him or worse-that you are soo out of control that you don't really deserve his respect (extremely important to Cancers,too.) My advice is...leave why you still have your dignity-if he's really "into you" he'll come back and make a real committment. In the meantime you may find someone who really appreciates you-like a Virgo!
Virgos are Robots, they can't express emotions.
They also have no souls.
Well, it really depends on their rising and moon. If they hit the wrong one, then they are souless robots.
They also have no souls.
Well, it really depends on their rising and moon. If they hit the wrong one, then they are souless robots.
Hey guys let me give you the update; As of today my cancer guy and I are through and this is why (READ BELOW). I saw that he was talking to this woman on this website, in which he promised me that I had absolutely nothing to worry about, that he would not allow this to go any further than just chatting on the net. (I left out his name and number. When I saw this all I could do is cry because this is not the first time he did this, but since he told me I had nothing to worry about I tried my best to believe him. It hurts so bad because I have developed a very strong bond with his family, they all love and adore me, and I cannot believe he's done so much to me and continued doing things like this and more.
(him) lol the name is J---- and the my home number is ---------- it's actually my b-day today so i won't be here so if you give me your number i'll give you a call when i get back if that's ok with you
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(her)i am willing. all i need is a name... and a number to call
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(him)yeah i have relatives there. Well i hope we can meet sometime i can see we'll have some fun together oh yeah love the tattoo i see u still got it later sexy.
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(her)oooo. umm i am in yonkers. do you know where that is???
(him)lol i would love that beautiful jsut wondering which part of NY are you located. Hit me back up later sexy would love to get to know you.
(her)ummm thanks for allowing me to be your friend so ummm now will you be my loverboy????
(him) lol the name is J---- and the my home number is ---------- it's actually my b-day today so i won't be here so if you give me your number i'll give you a call when i get back if that's ok with you
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(her)i am willing. all i need is a name... and a number to call
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(him)yeah i have relatives there. Well i hope we can meet sometime i can see we'll have some fun together oh yeah love the tattoo i see u still got it later sexy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(her)oooo. umm i am in yonkers. do you know where that is???
(him)lol i would love that beautiful jsut wondering which part of NY are you located. Hit me back up later sexy would love to get to know you.
(her)ummm thanks for allowing me to be your friend so ummm now will you be my loverboy????
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