My Cancer man saga

I'll apologize ahead of time since this story might get a bit long. I have just been a little torn up about this for 2.5 weeks and feel like I could use some feedback from others who have experiences with Cancer/Leo and Gemini.

Him:

Sun: Cancer/Leo (I see more Cancerian traits in him than Leo ones.)**in his 12th house**
ASC: Leo
Moon: Gemini
Venus: Leo
Mars: Scorpio
*Mars, Saturn and Pluto all in his 4th house

Me:

Sun: Virgo
ASC: Capricorn
Moon: Taurus
Venus: Leo
Mars: Leo
*Stellium in the 8th house including my Sun and my Venus and 3 other planets, Mars and Jupiter in my 7th

We are both gamers and met in an online game about a year and a half ago when I put out a message in the area I was in (in-game) saying that I was available to heal if anyone needed help. He was very quiet/shy and rarely spoke but we started playing together because we seemed to make a good team and both of us had been playing on our own a lot at that point. So we basically started to hang out daily in game and he was quiet for a long time but eventually started to talk more and more. A lot of people felt he liked me because he was extremely patient and kind to me. He even offered to buy me a new computer when I was having problems running the game but I turned him down. We played together about 2 to 3 months and then he stopped playing the game and I dropped out shortly after since I didn't feel it was fun without him.

In between, he tried to contact me about playing other games with him but nothing was working (my computer is kind of old to run most of these games.) We did start texting each other back in February and it was really nice and he was suddenly flirting with me a lot more (he didn't really flirt when we played the first game together) but one night he told me "my friend wants to see your pic!" and I was really surprised because I didn't know his friend was around and he himself hadn't asked for my pic so it just kind of weirded me out and I told him that. He asked me why and I paused because I was trying to figure out how to reply without insulting him... instead, he typed "Well sorry I made you uncomfortable, I'll let you be." and when I replied nicely he never read the answer (I think he deleted the app right then because never again did it ever say he had read it.) I tried to make some pleasant small talk with him on Xbox when I saw him online (he had bought the Xbox just to play with me) but he barely spoke and seemed cold

Wow it cut me off! Ok I will continue here...

After 5 months he contacted me and we got back to playing games together. He told me at that time that he had missed me, that he thought he could forget me after the first time we played together but that he never could and felt connected to me. He also told me he would log onto Xbox sometimes and sit and hope I would contact him and would sometimes leave when I didn't, upset.

So anyways, we started playing games together and he would buy every single game I would suggest just to play with me. We also started watching Netflix together, texting a lot and talking on mic even when we weren't playing. So we were spending a LOT of time together. He asked about me coming to meet him (we are at a distance) about this time and kept making allusions to "well if you lived down here..." but I have to say he did that for awhile and then stopped doing it.

Anyways we still had great fun together. At the beginning of it this time around though, he mentioned his ex was still contacting him and that the girl wanted to get back with him and I know she is looking to get married. I explained that I've had two great relationships broken up by ex's who were clinging and interfering and trying to get a bf back and I just felt very leery of that situation. So he told her to stop contacting him. She resisted, contacted him again the following day too. But I thought she had stopped after that and stopped worrying about it.

Then one day I had a really vivid dream of him and I together and her calling and him going to her. It caused me to ask him if she had contacted him again and he said she had but only once more, again to ask about us. I told him that I felt she's not going to stay away since she's not respecting his request to stop contacting him. He replied "I dunno." I also asked him why he hadn't blocked her since he had told me he would if she continued to contact him but he said he left it slide because it hadn't been often. I said that I felt she was going to keep it up even more now that Christmas was upon us and that she'd probably try to visit (his parents love her and wanted him to marry her.) He didn't say too much except that I was thinking too much and to ask if I was worrying about it again. I told him that I hadn't in the beginning when he told her to not contact him but that now that I know she hasn't given up that it was making me think twice and was a big red flag to me especially at Chr

at Christmas. He stopped talking at that point and that was 2.5 weeks ago...

Since then...he would log onto Xbox and sit there and not acknowledge me, the first day, he was on like all day long but said nothing. Then about 9 days ago he stopped logging onto Xbox even though he used to watch Netflix every day. Now he's bought 3 new computer games on Steam and is burying himself in computer games (I know because we're friends on Steam so it tells you what your friends do on there.) I really feel bad but I feel like I can't chase him... that I've been the one to try to resolve things before when we've had a problem and I can't always be the one to make it right. I would've rather he had a fight with me then just to ignore me like this... This has made my Christmas so sad now and I miss him a lot but feel that I will degrade myself if I go running after him. I just don't know what to think. 😢

Hmmmm. Sounds like the relationship is totally long distance, done over social media and gaming.
Am I correct?

Yes, we were talking about meeting since he only expressed the interest in me these last couple months. Before that we were just friends so it wasn't really something to consider.

Well actually through gaming, talking and texting... he's not the social media type... just on Xbox you can talk on mic just like you are on the phone so we spent a lot of time talking, playing games, watching movies and texting each other pretty much.

You're long distance and the ex is nearby.
He may/may not have family pressure.
You two have never met, and your commonality is gaming.

I wouldn't chase that. It doesn't sound like things were based on anything substantial.
I don't mean to be cold or unkind, but I'm not sure a real relationship was there.

Maybe I'm missing something.

The ex is actually long distance too, out of state. I do believe his parents are pressuring him to be with her but his brothers straight out told him she's not the one for him and he agreed. He says he feels nothing for her but cares for her.

We actually had a lot in common but I understand nothing solidifies till you meet in person and spend time in person.

I won't be chasing him, just feel awful about how he has decided to pretend I don't exist all of a sudden.

P.S. The last 3 guys I've had any kind of connection to have all been born between July 22 and July 25, it's beginning to drive me batty, especially since I never met Cancers or Leos before and suddenly I have drawn 3 Cancer/Leo guys in a row. And the last two have both had Moon in Gemini! That Moon scares me... feels like they can detach, don't want to deal in emotions, etc.

Posted by Ventressa

I won't be chasing him, just feel awful about how he has decided to pretend I don't exist all of a sudden.

Oh, he knows you exist. Cancers never forget a person with whom they have made a connection.
You may want to send out a feeler to say "hi", but don't go very far beyond that.
He may be weighing the realities of the situation.
He threw out the meet thing to probably see if there was potential beyond your gaming relationship, but I have doubts about how solid that was.
You may have to settle for being long distance friends at best.

Posted by Ventressa
P.S. The last 3 guys I've had any kind of connection to have all been born between July 22 and July 25, it's beginning to drive me batty, especially since I never met Cancers or Leos before and suddenly I have drawn 3 Cancer/Leo guys in a row. And the last two have both had Moon in Gemini! That Moon scares me... feels like they can detach, don't want to deal in emotions, etc.

Oscillation cusp. I know that one well being on it.

Cancers can get swept up in emotions. Unlike their fellow water sign in Pisces, they tend to drift back to considering reality.

The long distance thing is the rough part. Unless there is something more tangible, a Cancer will probably move on in terms of any strong interpersonal relationship.
Someone else can chime in. I try to be an optimist, but I just don't see anything here.

Ventressa, I'll just add my little bit, grumbling, "stupid male Cancers...blankety blank beep idiots..."

I think you're deluding yourself.

Nowhere in that story you mention a frank discussion about whatever it is that is going on, you make assumptions about his ex, even going as far as believing you're in a relationship with this man, so you have a right to feel jealous.

He could be married for you all you know and could have asked the photo for fapping purposes.

^ so I take it I was right about the fapping since he's a Leo

I cannot possibly go into every detail, the story was long enough. But I know he is not married and lives alone. I also am not assuming a relationship, I already said he was the one talking about proceeding that way and I told him I can't get close when there is an ex in the picture. When he said he stopped the contact with the ex, that was when I was spending time getting to know him more with a view to meeting, nowhere did I say that I already considered this as a bf/gf relationship.

As for the cusp issue, think what you want, I'm the one who has spent a lot of time with him and observed his traits and while I see some Leo characteristics, I definitely see much Cancerian traits in him.

Than you CancerOnTheCusp for your opinion, I appreciated it and I also appreciate that you didn't take the opportunity to try to kick someone who was down, which unfortunately happens a lot on forums.

MoonArtist, I think your comment was supportive, if so, thank you. 😉