Need serious help about cancer female

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by ryanaqua on Saturday, May 4, 2013 and has 4 replies.
Hello all,
I am an aqua male ( 29th Jan), deeply in love with a cancer female for over 3 years. I know our signs don't match and completely opposite etc etc. But we are truly in deep love . But we have been facing problems for few months now and just a few days back she broke up with me. I'm devastated. I truly love her. Her sole reason was : She wants space and complete control on her life.
We were having problems on couple of things . She lies on my face . If i ask her a question , she is not comfortable with , she lies instantly without hesitation and that not only to me , to others also. This created a lot of trust issues. Then she starled lying about a male friend of her in her tuition. Like hanging out with him , taking notes from him etc but then if I ask her questions , she gets annoyed . Although she completely denies that she has anything to with him in terms of love or relationship and the fact that she loves me and me only . Even when she broke up she said she loves me and she won't be able to think of anyone else in terms of love.
But yet she broke up with me . I tried so many times. Went to her place to talk with her again and again. She just said she wants to be alone . Though we had fun as a couple like even few weeks back. Suddenly she has no feelings for me ? Suddenly she betrays me like this ? Just to stay alone ?

How can I win her back ? I just don't know. It's so pathetic . Two weeks back I caught her lying on my face again and yet I went back to her because I love her. I want things to be fixed. I miss her like mad.
Isn't it a bit selfish from her side? While she was breaking up with me , she was crying and telling she doesn;t want to lie anymore to me . SO i said then don't lie . JUst stay with me , We can start fresh . I will give you your space and whatever you want .
Please help me.
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Posted by ryanaqua

Isn't it a bit selfish from her side? While she was breaking up with me , she was crying and telling she doesn;t want to lie anymore to me . SO i said then don't lie . JUst stay with me , We can start fresh . I will give you your space and whatever you want .
Please help me.


Everyone has fundamental selfishness within them. She does, you do, I do. Everyone. So yes, perhaps this comes across as selfish to you. But what it really means is that she doesn't want to keep hurting you. You are putting her in a really tough space. She's telling you what she needs, you won't let her have it, and then she lies to you.
How many times has she said she needs space, and needs to be alone? Has this been granted to her? How many times has she told you she loves you - and you are still saying "suddenly she has no feelings for me". You aren't listening to her at all. You hear the words, because you have repeated them here, but you aren't absorbing them. She's an individual human being, just the same as you are. Her needs right now - are for some space, and by not giving it to her you are starting to give her a reason to not want to be with you even more.
You need to find it in yourself to trust in your love for her, and let her go. Trust that if the love is what you say it is... she will return, and you guys will carry on in happiness - both of you together. And know that if she doesn't return - you were mistaken about the love, and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep on living.
Good luck
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Posted by deezie
Posted by ryanaqua

Isn't it a bit selfish from her side? While she was breaking up with me , she was crying and telling she doesn;t want to lie anymore to me . SO i said then don't lie . JUst stay with me , We can start fresh . I will give you your space and whatever you want .
Please help me.


Everyone has fundamental selfishness within them. She does, you do, I do. Everyone. So yes, perhaps this comes across as selfish to you. But what it really means is that she doesn't want to keep hurting you. You are putting her in a really tough space. She's telling you what she needs, you won't let her have it, and then she lies to you.
How many times has she said she needs space, and needs to be alone? Has this been granted to her? How many times has she told you she loves you - and you are still saying "suddenly she has no feelings for me". You aren't listening to her at all. You hear the words, because you have repeated them here, but you aren't absorbing them. She's an individual human being, just the same as you are. Her needs right now - are for some space, and by not giving it to her you are starting to give her a reason to not want to be with you even more.
You need to find it in yourself to trust in your love for her, and let her go. Trust that if the love is what you say it is... she will return, and you guys will carry on in happiness - both of you together. And know that if she doesn't return - you were mistaken about the love, and then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep on living.
Good luck
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I am really confused. I really try to understand her and her problems. You say , she needs space. I gave her the space she wanted. And after 1-2 weeks , her sister calls me and tells me that while I am giving her space , she is deeply in touch with her that friend and they even started hanging out . That disturbed me but because of the space she wanted , I didn't confront her or anything . Although she denies to her parents that she has nothing to do with this guy , its just a friend. But then suddenly now , she says she can't commit in this relationship anymore. It's really heart braking for me .
I talked with her twice and conveyed my feelings to her. Should I let her go ? It's very painful.
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Yes, please... let her go.
You can't change anyone's mind about how they feel. She may come back to you in time. BUT she may not. The best thing you can do for yourself right now, is let her go.
What she told you was that she needs space from 'you'.
That right there is all you need to understand. She has time and no need for space from this other guy (in whatever capacity that is). I am sorry for your pain.
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