Oh my complex crab! Help me please!!

Wow that's some krazy shyt I just I read. So basically he doesn't give a damn anymore. His actions CLEARLY show you don't mean much to him & he isn't doing what a man who cares should do for his friend. A man who cares, will stand by you in your time of sickness or when things get rocky between you too. You shouldn't have to stay with your mom because he isn't doing what he is supposed to be doing. I mean you clearly aren't happy & you did all you could to fix your relationship. If he isn't willing to do that, then he don't deserve you or your time ok

& yes I read all that lol. Seriously this guy doesn't value you anymore, & you shouldn't have done drugs & all that stuff you know. To be honest, you are better of staying with your mom than with him. If a person isn't freely giving you their time & love, then you shouldn't either. You don't need him, & he certainly don't deserve you. Stay with mom til you feel better & move on to someone who is really to work to keep you alright. I hope you get your health back on track 🙂 *Hugs*

It looks like your post didn't get finished, OP.

I'll comment on what you did post, though. YOU are not ready for a serious relationship. Here is why: you have your own inner problems to grapple with first. The fact that you would choose drugs and self destructive behavior because of a friendship that was ended (for several years, from the sounds of it) shows a great lack of self worth that you have for yourself.

Then you two got together and made an intimate relationship and your words show that you are depending on him to make and keep you happy. I mean this with every good intention towards you when I say that it is NO ONE'S responsibility to fix your anxiety or depression, because ultimately no one CAN do that for you, but you alone. Others can be a temporary distraction or balm for those things, but they can't take it away or fix it. I can only imagine how exhausting it would be to have someone expect that sort of thing from me.

When all is said and done you have to figure out how to make yourself happy. Happiness comes from within. That is your journey and battle to fight and others are there to help you learn and grow but not to do the work for you.

^^OP, pay attention to this and not the white knighting Bullshit in the previous posts.
You have to get your own act together before you can honestly get into an intimate relationship with someone.
Otherwise, you will continue to be unhappy. You can't look to someone else for that.

Exactly. Relationships are a give and take, they should be equal. As soon as the balance is shifted it falls apart.

I think that you should take some time to be by yourself and start seeing a counselor or theripist. I used to look for love from other people but not anymore. The only person that you can depend on for getting love from is yourself. Also try prayer or meditation that works for a lot of people.