PLEASE HELP - Cancer man ignoring

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by bebeirishh on Friday, September 1, 2017 and has 22 replies.
Hi everyone! It's me again asking for help on a cancer guy. 2 weeks ago we had a fight. The argument was because he was asking me to fetch him (which I do all the time) and that time I said I can't because I was busy with work and all of a sudden he got mad because his favor wasn't granted. I was offended and said that he was a "user". I said it because I don't see any effort from his part and I am always the one initiating the communication, planning dates, etc. And like I said, I even fetch him at work and accompany him home. He replied with just "Wow", to which I didn't reply. After 2 weeks of not texting him, he also doesn't text me as to why haven't I replied. Or what's up with me. Should I be the first to text him? Or should I just let him go? I know I have offended him, but he offended me so much more. Please help me what to do.
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Help me please. Am dying to text him now but also convincing myself not to make the first move. Gaaaah! I just love him so much that I can't stay mad at him for so long. ???
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Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by bebeirishh
Help me please. Am dying to text him now but also convincing myself not to make the first move. Gaaaah! I just love him so much that I can't stay mad at him for so long. ???
but he's a user right, why would you love a person who takes advantage of you?



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That's also the question I always ask myself. Buuut, I don't know why I still love him despite that fact. ?

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Dont contact him please, he needs to grow up.
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Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by bebeirishh
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by bebeirishh
Help me please. Am dying to text him now but also convincing myself not to make the first move. Gaaaah! I just love him so much that I can't stay mad at him for so long. ???
but he's a user right, why would you love a person who takes advantage of you?



That's also the question I always ask myself. Buuut, I don't know why I still love him despite that fact. ?

what's your sign
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Aquarius

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Posted by eglantine
Dont contact him please, he needs to grow up.
maybe both parties need to grow in some ways yes


@OP - contact him and tell him how you feel and set more solid boundaries - it has to be happy on both sides not just one
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Posted by tcta
Posted by eglantine
Dont contact him please, he needs to grow up.
maybe both parties need to grow in some ways yes


@OP - contact him and tell him how you feel and set more solid boundaries - it has to be happy on both sides not just one
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Are cancer men really that cold hearted? Or is he really just not into me that's why he doesn't care about what I feel?
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Posted by bebeirishh
Posted by tcta
Posted by eglantine
Dont contact him please, he needs to grow up.
maybe both parties need to grow in some ways yes


@OP - contact him and tell him how you feel and set more solid boundaries - it has to be happy on both sides not just one
Are cancer men really that cold hearted? Or is he really just not into me that's why he doesn't care about what I feel?
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I've gotten the cold front for doing nothing and he wasn't offering nothing - then like 3 months later he wants to all of a sudden start back up and I said ah - no ... I don't think it's because he is not into you - and I do feel that it is more selfish related than anything else - like it's not all about him but he thinks it is sort of thing



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Cancers can, and will, cut people off cold.
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Posted by nikkistar
Cancers can, and will, cut people off cold.
So does that mean we already broke up?
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Posted by bebeirishh
Posted by nikkistar
Cancers can, and will, cut people off cold.
So does that mean we already broke up?
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You haven't talk to him in 2 weeks. I mean...


I don't find your relationship built on things that could withstand this type of non-communication.


I can go a week without talking to my Cancer, but we have discussed prior, during, and after that regardless of time not talking, "we" are still perfectly fine. Now this isn't a common occurrence for us, but it does happen.


HOWEVER, I can also tell you, I am only one of a few that he keeps in communication with. Even those with longer time frames of knowing him, and have done nothing wrong to him, he legitimately doesn't care if he talks to them or not. Nor does he truly care if they ever talk again, if it isn't one that is trusted like me, his bestfriend, mom, brother, or sister. He doesn't even care too much if he ever talks to his dad again. That's how cold he can be.
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I'm with nikki star as my relationship with my cancer is similar to her.


1

he probably likes you more than you think


2

unless you learn to not give into their lil fits and go about your life when they get unhappy with things not going your way, it won't last, you'll drive yourself crazy
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Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by nikkistar
Cancers can, and will, cut people off cold.
But she didn't even reply to his wow


He's mirroring
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I know I was the one who didn't reply, but that was because I was hurt. It was the first time I've declined with his favor because I was so busy, and then he got mad at me for just that one time. I didn't reply because i thougt he would pursue and make the first move to even acknowledge that he also has a mistake
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Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by bebeirishh
Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by nikkistar
Cancers can, and will, cut people off cold.
But she didn't even reply to his wow


He's mirroring
I know I was the one who didn't reply, but that was because I was hurt. It was the first time I've declined with his favor because I was so busy, and then he got mad at me for just that one time. I didn't reply because i thougt he would pursue and make the first move to even acknowledge that he also has a mistake
Ummm cancers don't think like that


We think this person is rejecting us


We then proceed to mirror


If it's long enough our feelings die


Don't think you can go cold on a crab aND we'll chase

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Even though it was his fault he still wouldn't chase?

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Well, I myself am a Cancer man and I can tell you that if you're the one planning everything and he's always asking for thing rides to work or wherever. It's likely he see's you as a buddy more than a girlfriend. I mean if he's not showing any interest in the romantic part of your connection with him then he's not feeling the feels the way you are. Yes, he cares, but if he's not jealous or concerned about your comings and goings, who you're with etc. He's not into you the way cancers DO GET when we are into someone. I'm not saying he doesn't value you. I'm saying that the mirroring with the texting like the previous post mentioned is the standard here. If, he let 2 weeks go by he's certainly not as into you as you may have thought or he's just trying to keep it on the DL till you decide to make contact again. You might have to press him to define what you are to each other directly so it gives him the opportunity to explain himself. There are times we test our ladies as cancer's to see if they care in "our eyes" and we let the silence do to work, which is why your here posting this question. If you stand up to him and ask him, WTF are we to each other? Are we friends are we more? listen very closely to his hesitation and answer. Trust your feelings and if you feel he's being sincere then roll with him. If he makes you feel more confused then just run girl cause he's just messing with you. And you deserve better than that. Don't let him keep you in a state of "I'm still trying to figure us out" because if there's one thing I know - it's when we adore you we don't play any games. We love everything about you. And if he's not doing anything at all which it sounds like your saying "Planning all the dates" etc. Then I would honestly disappear. Make him chase you and if he never does then you have your answer already. Sometimes you do have to push and make sure you let him know as heartfelt as you can that you're feeling the relationship and that if he's not you would prefer to let him go if it's going to stay like this. If you have any other questions just let me know. #YouRockGirl #LoveYourEnergy
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Posted by matrixyoda
Well, I myself am a Cancer man and I can tell you that if you're the one planning everything and he's always asking for thing rides to work or wherever. It's likely he see's you as a buddy more than a girlfriend. I mean if he's not showing any interest in the romantic part of your connection with him then he's not feeling the feels the way you are. Yes, he cares, but if he's not jealous or concerned about your comings and goings, who you're with etc. He's not into you the way cancers DO GET when we are into someone. I'm not saying he doesn't value you. I'm saying that the mirroring with the texting like the previous post mentioned is the standard here. If, he let 2 weeks go by he's certainly not as into you as you may have thought or he's just trying to keep it on the DL till you decide to make contact again. You might have to press him to define what you are to each other directly so it gives him the opportunity to explain himself. There are times we test our ladies as cancer's to see if they care in "our eyes" and we let the silence do to work, which is why your here posting this question. If you stand up to him and ask him, WTF are we to each other? Are we friends are we more? listen very closely to his hesitation and answer. Trust your feelings and if you feel he's being sincere then roll with him. If he makes you feel more confused then just run girl cause he's just messing with you. And you deserve better than that. Don't let him keep you in a state of "I'm still trying to figure us out" because if there's one thing I know - it's when we adore you we don't play any games. We love everything about you. And if he's not doing anything at all which it sounds like your saying "Planning all the dates" etc. Then I would honestly disappear. Make him chase you and if he never does then you have your answer already. Sometimes you do have to push and make sure you let him know as heartfelt as you can that you're feeling the relationship and that if he's not you would prefer to let him go if it's going to stay like this. If you have any other questions just let me know. #YouRockGirl #LoveYourEnergy
Thank you so much for your advice. Maybe that's the reason why he doesn't want any label with our relationship is because he's just messing with me. And the level of emotions I feel for him, isn't the same as what he feels for me. It's just disappointing that he texts me about how he feels about me (romantically), but then doesn't show it with a little bit of effort. Well, still, actions speak louder than words. Maybe I just really need to let him go. You're right, I deserve better than that.

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Posted by 8434E
Posted by bebeirishh
Hi everyone! It's me again asking for help on a cancer guy. 2 weeks ago we had a fight. The argument was because he was asking me to fetch him (which I do all the time) and that time I said I can't because I was busy with work and all of a sudden he got mad because his favor wasn't granted. I was offended and said that he was a "user". I said it because I don't see any effort from his part and I am always the one initiating the communication, planning dates, etc. And like I said, I even fetch him at work and accompany him home. He replied with just "Wow", to which I didn't reply. After 2 weeks of not texting him, he also doesn't text me as to why haven't I replied. Or what's up with me. Should I be the first to text him? Or should I just let him go? I know I have offended him, but he offended me so much more. Please help me what to do.
Fuck him off and let him know the door is sealed shut, he needs to grow up.


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Yes. He really needs to grow up. I think he's the player type of Cancer. Tsk!


Side question: what's the meaning of treetrunk? Teehee!

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Posted by matrixyoda

Well, I myself am a Cancer man and I can tell you that if you're the one planning everything and he's always asking for thing rides to work or wherever. It's likely he see's you as a buddy more than a girlfriend. I mean if he's not showing any interest in the romantic part of your connection with him then he's not feeling the feels the way you are. Yes, he cares, but if he's not jealous or concerned about your comings and goings, who you're with etc. He's not into you the way cancers DO GET when we are into someone. I'm not saying he doesn't value you. I'm saying that the mirroring with the texting like the previous post mentioned is the standard here. If, he let 2 weeks go by he's certainly not as into you as you may have thought or he's just trying to keep it on the DL till you decide to make contact again. You might have to press him to define what you are to each other directly so it gives him the opportunity to explain himself. There are times we test our ladies as cancer's to see if they care in "our eyes" and we let the silence do to work, which is why your here posting this question. If you stand up to him and ask him, WTF are we to each other? Are we friends are we more? listen very closely to his hesitation and answer. Trust your feelings and if you feel he's being sincere then roll with him. If he makes you feel more confused then just run girl cause he's just messing with you. And you deserve better than that. Don't let him keep you in a state of "I'm still trying to figure us out" because if there's one thing I know - it's when we adore you we don't play any games. We love everything about you. And if he's not doing anything at all which it sounds like your saying "Planning all the dates" etc. Then I would honestly disappear. Make him chase you and if he never does then you have your answer already. Sometimes you do have to push and make sure you let him know as heartfelt as you can that you're feeling the relationship and that if he's not you would prefer to let him go if it's going to stay like this. If you have any other questions just let me know. #YouRockGirl #LoveYourEnergy



Thank you so much for your advice. Maybe that's the reason why he doesn't want any label with our relationship is because he's just messing with me. And the level of emotions I feel for him, isn't the same as what he feels for me. It's just disappointing that he texts me about how he feels about me (romantically), but then doesn't show it with a little bit of effort. Well, still, actions speak louder than words. Maybe I just really need to let him go. You're right, I deserve better than that.


Make sure you stand your ground with the breakup if that's the outcome. If he's totally into you he will think of any and all ways to make up for the F'up he's made. It would be fantastic for you to put the onus on him to chase and romance you in his own way. Tell him flat out "What happens next is up to you" and if doesn't understand what that means aka planning dates to take you on and makes the effort to show you some form of interest in the love arena. Then let him grow up in his own time. I don't know how old you both are. But it seems to me he does need some hard lessons in how to be emotionally mature. If like you said he made things Romantic at some stage then where has that gone? etc. Walk away and let him stew. If he really wants you it will show itself. But if he shows you anger in any way he was just pissed he lost his ride to work. Get my meaning #UseingYouFromTheStart


Also, I would love for you to go on some dates while all this is going on. You never know who you might be missing out on while you're waiting on someone like this. So not worth it. Life is surely to short to waste any time don't you agree.
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Posted by bebeirishh
Help me please. Am dying to text him now but also convincing myself not to make the first move. Gaaaah! I just love him so much that I can't stay mad at him for so long. ???
It's very hard. But trust me love, having to play a fetcher your whole life is debilitating to a woman. When I woke up and saw someone who does just opposite - it was painful!

When I said I want coffee - he told me he will make it and I started to cry!

Because NO MEN IN MY LIFE MADE ME CUP OF COFFE!!!

I didn't know how to react! Because isn't it MY JOB to make him coffee? My husband waits for me to come from work and make him coffee!!! For 23 years!


Please, run! I know it's killer advice but you have to! He said WOW and you HAD to fall down and kiss his feet asking for forgiveness? For WHAT?

Think. It's not fair to you.


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Posted by tcta
Posted by eglantine
Dont contact him please, he needs to grow up.
maybe both parties need to grow in some ways yes


@OP - contact him and tell him how you feel and set more solid boundaries - it has to be happy on both sides not just one
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Lazy men treating every demand as a treat to their 'rights to do nothing!'


And somehow they always find an idiot women like me and op who ready to serve! It's like if God thinks...well, I made this lazy ass to be lazy...sorry ladies, someone has to pick it up and wipe it off so my world is well balanced...and he trows is suckers their way! ?
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Posted by Nevermore
Why do I feel it's high school plays?
I'm 23 and he's 26
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Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by bebeirishh
Help me please. Am dying to text him now but also convincing myself not to make the first move. Gaaaah! I just love him so much that I can't stay mad at him for so long. ???
It's very hard. But trust me love, having to play a fetcher your whole life is debilitating to a woman. When I woke up and saw someone who does just opposite - it was painful!

When I said I want coffee - he told me he will make it and I started to cry!

Because NO MEN IN MY LIFE MADE ME CUP OF COFFE!!!

I didn't know how to react! Because isn't it MY JOB to make him coffee? My husband waits for me to come from work and make him coffee!!! For 23 years!


Please, run! I know it's killer advice but you have to! He said WOW and you HAD to fall down and kiss his feet asking for forgiveness? For WHAT?

Think. It's not fair to you.


you make me sad

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I didn't think it was possibleSad
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