I'm a sag woman born december 9th, and the cancer man I am after was born June 24th. Starting out things were great, he was all about me, wanted to spend lots of time with me -- then after three months he got promoted at his job and got worried he wouldn't have time for me, so we split up. Taking a step back though, we are pretty similar in nature, we are both very sensitive in comparison with other people, and both agreed that we did love one another. We got on very well with common interests, personalities and our fun loving nature. We had a lot of fun and I do not regret a second of it.
He told me he has been working 65 to 75 hours per week, which I do believe to a point and said that he thought I deserved better, and that he wouldn't have much time to spend with me. I understand that work takes top priority with cancers, so I told him that we would get through it, and I can live with that. He seemed okay with that at first, then kept mentioning it, as if he was trying to get me to break up with him.
After that, I was upset and only texted him a bit then left him alone. Two weeks later he's texting me asking how I am, telling me that he misses spending time with me and talking to me, so I took that as a potential advance on his part, then started texting him similiarily to what I was used to doing. After a few texts it was like he was "ignoring" me and not answering me, so I've since stopped.
I've decided that I'm not going to really answer his texts (if he even texts me) for 30 days, is this a good decision? I'm afraid to hurt his feelings, but also want to give him some "tough love" if you will, and also help myself decide if he is the right guy for me.
He's constantly told me that I didn't do anything wrong, and I was very good to him (which I was) and I agreed that he was the same to me. I just think that maybe he is not ready for something serious with me (as it did get pretty serious pretty quickly, which is in my nature not his). I know he does care because he is a sensitive soul, but I don't want to move on and then see him running back either.
I'm a bit perplexed so if anyone has any thoughts or ideas, please let me know. I would like him back into my life, as he's a wonderful person.
would you make do with the little amount of time he could offer to you? if any?
I felt that he was worth it and expressed that I would be able to deal with it.
Thing is I creeped on Facebook today and see that he seems to have plenty of time to see his god daughter, his friend's new baby, go out to eat and so on -- all within this past week.
Now I'm leaning towards him just not being interested in me or interested in a relationship with me.
I'm trying to not take it personally, as he did say I am a great person and so on. I think I'm just going to move on, or make a decent attempt to instead of wallowing in missing him and so on. Just sucks and I wish he would have just been more direct instead of caring so much about hurting my feelings and still leaving me with this "false hope" or what I think it false hope anyway. Time will tell I suppose.
does this promotion of his make a "social class difference" between the 2 of you?
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Jun 20, 2011Comments: 5 · Posts: 4737 · Topics: 103
Yeah, well, the OP's story is yet again proof of the Awful Cancers out there.
Thank God there aren't too many of them out there, but they do indeed exist.
The fact that he lied to her is pretty disturbing.
I am sorry, but it's total bullshit for him to pull the "I'm too busy" card on her and then take all these photos and FB stuff of him doing lots of stuff in his leisure time when he could easily INCLUDE her in the events.
That's the thing about some of the awful ones. They do not think to do things TOGETHER with a potential interest, but would rather do their own thing and abandon a potential future with someone instead.
Unfortunately, OP, he has abandoned you like some old shoe or something.
If I were you, I would avoid him altogether. Even if you were to somehow rekindle things, you would be putting yourself in a position where he will abandon you at random all over again, and that is not something you want to deal with I assure you.
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Nov 10, 2010Comments: 285 · Posts: 30788 · Topics: 649
right. i am as well confused how to handle him when IF he comes back to normal. Like you, im getting crumbs and i dont want that. My worry is that he will do it again and again. do i bitch, have a grown up convo, or just say the hell with it. my interest is already waning.
right again. i dont know if i have a kind cancer or a player cancer.
it does feel like unfinished business.
question, did yours start acting funny right after your date?
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Nov 10, 2010Comments: 285 · Posts: 30788 · Topics: 649
Unfortunately, OP, he has abandoned you like some old shoe or something.
If I were you, I would avoid him altogether. Even if you were to somehow rekindle things, you would be putting yourself in a position where he will abandon you at random all over again, and that is not something you want to deal with I assure you
un huh. like an old shoe is right! im proceeding with extreme caution.
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Nov 10, 2010Comments: 285 · Posts: 30788 · Topics: 649
do you have water in your chart Bel?
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Jun 20, 2011Comments: 5 · Posts: 4737 · Topics: 103
OP, you don't need to say or do shit with this guy.
He made clear to you that he is "too busy" to see you, so you need to get on with your life.
Go out with your girlfriends and get some phone numbers this week and weekend.
Do NOT limit yourself to this guy, as it will emotionally torture you for some time to come.
If he contacts you, then go from there.
But do NOT initiate contact with him after he basically threw you out of his life like some piece of trash.
i'd ask him...upfront...polite...
i wouldn't play games, for my own comfort....
but, sincerely, i think he lost interest....this usually happens when people rush into relationships. sorry to say that...
good luck
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Nov 10, 2010Comments: 285 · Posts: 30788 · Topics: 649
my heart goes out to you OP. you did nothing wrong but try to love someone.
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Nov 10, 2010Comments: 285 · Posts: 30788 · Topics: 649
awful is a strong. I say a bit delusional on their expectations regarding others actions considering their actions toward the other person.
Thanks for all your input everyone.
I was joking with the last bit about being vindictive and saying "I'm too busy". It would be a stupid classless remark just to take a stab at him like that. I will admit I am still somewhat hurt though, just trying to move forward though.
I'm not really sure what you mean about your last statement of, "it's not guaranteed things will change especially if you keep doing the same things." Can you please clarify on what these "same things" are?
And no, I'm not a cling on. I do have water tendencies to cling on when I really like someone, but they are not about my entire being (if that makes sense) -- that never results in a successful relationship either.
And thanks, I know I did nothing wrong -- I suppose these things just kind of happen. Thanks again.
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Nov 10, 2010Comments: 285 · Posts: 30788 · Topics: 649
good point Scors. I will be more direct than i have been. I just hate playing the "man" when it comes to these matters.
Thanks everyone. I will do the whole no contact thing, and then see where it goes from there. I really appreciate the advice.
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Oct 17, 2013Comments: 375 · Posts: 8645 · Topics: 308
Dude, I think that's the longest post I've ever seen by you since you joined, lol.
(The one to Scorpiofish)
I noticed the thing towards Cancer men as well.
I thought maybe I was the only one noticing the brownie point thing.
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Nov 10, 2010Comments: 285 · Posts: 30788 · Topics: 649
most assertive? as compared to what?
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Jan 19, 2014Comments: 3 · Posts: 873 · Topics: 41
Finally thought was only me that noticed that scorpiofish was a bitch,lol. Seriously dude everywhere you go a person not even on ur dick and u wanna jump on theirs,lol. You take things waaaaaaay too serious!even the post i did with optimus prime.jesus christ.lol. Anyways back to the post though sag lady if he aint got the time for you let him go, he may come back. But saggis are by the most part very sweet on cancers.
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Jan 19, 2014Comments: 3 · Posts: 873 · Topics: 41
That's why we rule the world. One day at a time