Signed Up:
May 13, 2015Comments: 1 · Posts: 296 · Topics: 14
It's been nine days. We've been talking on and off seven months. Last month he really contacted me a lot. Two weeks ago he calls me and we have an all-night convo. He said he trusts me, hasn't really been talking to any other girls (a few one-done dates), he knows he is very slow with these things, but he wants to be with me. We hung up all happy and making tentative plans for next week. He said he was happy we made so much progress.
Four days later we have another long convo but now he's kind of back-pedaling about all the stuff we said. I kept using his own words and actions in the past months to show him that he was wrong - I felt like he was freaking out. He kept saying negative stuff about himself. We end up on another great note and he's back to talking about us seeing each other and being together. He says, I just put you through a lot and you didn't hang up. That has to be a good sign. Says he'll talk to me tomorrow.
Nothing. I didn't think I would hear from him because it was a lot of emotional stuff. So I thought maybe five days or so. Now it's nine... feels long. I don't feel so great anymore.
I'm Pisces sun, Sag Moon, Rising Gem, Cap Venus
He's Cancer Sun, Virgo Moon, Rising Libra, Leo Venus
Signed Up:
May 13, 2015Comments: 1 · Posts: 296 · Topics: 14
lol'ing at both of you!!!
I know, I know... and amazingly I am still hanging in there. What's the phrase?? 'Glutton for punishment'...??
Signed Up:
May 13, 2015Comments: 1 · Posts: 296 · Topics: 14
Did the fact that he said, "I just put you through a lot and you didn't hang up on me... that must be a good sign?" mean that he was testing me, trying to push me away?
The fact that you didn't hang up on him and he sad that "has to be proof" seems like he's searching for something, just sounds like he's still uncertain.
Signed Up:
May 13, 2015Comments: 1 · Posts: 296 · Topics: 14
**Update**
Sent him a message last night, something cute intended to make him laugh. He responded right away.
I think things will go a lot more smoothly once we finally see each other. Hoping, anyway.
Signed Up:
Jul 22, 2015Comments: 0 · Posts: 627 · Topics: 42
That's the thing Cancer Men don't want to end things once they have you or once you have been intimate. He will be very reserved not I think those are the ones that are thinking about you but something is holding them back...like you are a forbidden fruit or something
Sounds like he's aware of his damage and scared. And cares for you. I am/was in a similar situation, sometimes we build so much bs internally that it comes out unexpectedly. Which was certainly the case with me.
We can associate with people on multiple levels of intimacy which is probably very confusing. But when a person touches the core, then we suddenly freak out.
If you like the guy and his damage is not too bad, just hang out with him. If he tries to get physically intimate, walk away asap as his demon would be in place.
Yeah maybe I'm going through stuff right now so might not have proper perspective. But really depends where and how much the damage is.
I guess in my experience there's no way to really know why someone disappears. I think people either disappear because they're no longer interested or they can't handle how strong they feel. I had to really bring up the strength to force myself to disappear and cut off a connection with someone because I loved her so much, but it was the wrong timing. I still love her, but the communication is limited. So, I'm really not sure why he has disappeared it could be either extreme. But I get the feeling he is afraid of getting hurt...did he have his heart broken really bad in the past? He may have trust issues. I don't think he would have been showing so much interest if he didn't feel it. If I were you I would try to find a middle way between keeping your independence and also giving him support letting him know you care about him at least as a friend. Make it known you care and he can come to you. It sounds like you two have a really good connection and make eachother feel good. I know how painful it is to not have closure. I'd much rather be rejected or told what's going on than to have someone just disappear...but I think most of us are pretty guilty of that at certain times. It gets complex when we don't know exactly how the other person feels. Being open and honest creates vulnerability, but at least it doesn't create this not-knowing pain that can eat at us for too much time. Ultimately though, even though you obviously really care about him, do not lose yourself in him. If I were you, I would try to not focus on the relationship too much and I'd try to focus on myself and enjoying the other loving people you have in your life.