Hey guys, I need your advice. I’m a Gemini women 29 and My cancer man is 32. We met online and live in different states. My cancer man just starting ignoring me about a week ago. We’ve been talking for about 4 months. Long distance. So we haven’t met each other just yet. He’s the one who reached out to me and found me twice. He’s expressed that he was interested serval times and definitely finds me attractive. We planned on us meeting so a couple of weeks ago but my flight got cancelled 3 times bc of the weather. So we have been trying to reschedule. Communication is important to me as I am a Gemini. We text and call each other mostly text ever day short conversation. He sends me good morning texts. We call each other from time to time. But I seem to carry the conversation. He’s definitely guarded. I give him compliments all the time. Sometimes I feel as though he’s attracted to me but not interested based off his lack of asking me questions to get to know me.
Recently I wanted to do something nice for him so I invited him on a weekend vacation to Mexico. He said he was down so I being to plan. He said call before you book so I called him that night. And we were planning and looking through flights. Then 20 mins in I felt a little change in his voice. So I said that I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable and at any time if he feels as though he’s not comfortable then he can let me know. So he goes on to say that he’s antennae’s are going off since he’s never met me and that we’re going to another country. But either way we’re both taking a risk in my eyes. Especially since we both live in different states. I said okay and if he wanted to reschedule just me coming to him again to just let me know and told him I was going to bed and ended the call. I sent a voice text a couple minutes later just to apologize if I made him feel uncomfortable for suggesting that and to let him know that I’m just spontaneously and like to have fun and do things out of the box and I maybe a little different from the girls he may have dated. And said i hope he didn’t feel any type of way or if he did and doesn’t want to talk to me anymore he could let me know. Then I said he can simmer on it.
I finally got tired of waiting for a reply so I kindly texted him 3 days later to see how he was feeling. I told him I wanted to give him space but I didn’t like being ignored And being a Gemini the worst thing you can do is ignore us. He replied that,” He thinks I’m an amazing women, but he’s not ready to date!” When he first reached out to me I made it clear that I wanted a friendship with him. So I don’t know where he got the dating part from. I was just trying to get to know him. He said he would love to be friends. I liked the message and haven’t text him back since. He’s been watching my every story on IG. And I really want to get to know him. So should I wait him out or initiate a call or text to ask him how he’s feeling and if he wants to continue a friendship with me???
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Aug 12, 2009Comments: 0 · Posts: 4771 · Topics: 30
Here is the contradiction....
You stated that you just wanted a friendship....
But offered to do something nice for him....like a trip to Mexico.
Why did you want to do something so extravagant for him?
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Feb 23, 2013Comments: 22238 · Posts: 25616 · Topics: 84
I’ll go with you to Mexico without meeting you 😬
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Feb 23, 2013Comments: 22238 · Posts: 25616 · Topics: 84
Why go to another country? Go to a city in the states that have nice beaches or meet him halfway in a destination that he is familiar with. Or flat out travel to see him, since you’re willing to travel.
He’s getting cold feet for a reason and may not want to be stuck with you if things go bad.
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Jan 27, 2019Comments: 2 · Posts: 1548 · Topics: 27
🤦 🙄🤦
There is nothing else to say.
🤦🏽♀️Thank you guys for replying! I’m such an overthinker some times. Thinking back and hearing all of your perspectives really puts things into focus. I really shouldn’t have offered that or rushed him into replying back to me. I see that now lol Lawddd! So background and update which will answer most of y’all questions.
We meet online hit it off from the start. I think he’s amazing. Like the man of my dreams type of amazing. He fits everything thing that I want. Plus we connected so well. So I’m like fuck it. You won’t know until you know. I was originally supposed to fly to him. Which he offered to pay and I declined. However my flight got cancelled because of the weather(Chicago). So instead of rescheduling to fly back out to him. Which we would of had to reschedule multiple times because the weather in Chicago is freaking weird. I decided we should go somewhere nice instead. He’s always doing things for students (He’s and educator)and everyone else and when we were talking he said he was in need of a vacation. So with those reason plus me thinking. Well what’s the different between me coming going to him or him coming to me or we traveling somewhere else. We would still have to meet. We had a connection so I didn’t foresee anything going wrong. So that’s the premise behind asking him to go to another country.
He’s definitely taking his time! Like snail mode 😂. We text And talk on the phone a lot but it’s not like it used to be. I don’t get any good morning beautiful text anymore. Lol I do reach out every here and there to see how he’s doing. He’s hasn’t really text me first in a while. Im debating on not reaching out to him at all and see if he ever reaches out but who knows. He loves viewing my stories tho. I can only blame myself. Haha where were all of you when I needed you 😂😩.
@Arille83
Too many compliments. I didn’t know it was such a thing? I mean he deserves everyone tho lol
@GC08 Lol yes it may not be safe but we’re both taking a risk where I go to him or he comes to me. But I understand. My over thinking definitely had me doing the most! 😩
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Nov 05, 2015Comments: 1317 · Posts: 6946 · Topics: 124
Woman what’s wrong with you? You’re doing nearly all the initiations and also end up being the one apologizing. It doesn’t matter what sign that guy is, any guy would take all that as a red flag. It comes off needy and desperate. I understand that mofo finds it difficult to reply back within a standard time frame but that should just signal to you his dwindling interest. I get all the feminist ish that’s going on but honestly it’s always better when they’re chasing than the other way around because at least then you wouldn’t be left in the dark about how he possibly feels about you. Also keep in mind I’m very cute and fluffy and would make a fine companion to Mexico (◕ᴗ◕✿)
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Nov 10, 2010Comments: 285 · Posts: 30788 · Topics: 649
So when are you going to message him again?
You know u wanna
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Dec 14, 2016Comments: 7399 · Posts: 18799 · Topics: 84
This shit is weird to me.
For one, you were like "whoa who says anything about dating? I said friendship" when he says he isn't ready to date. But then follow up with "he's my dream guy!"
Haven't met, and want to go out of the country. Ehhhhhhhhhh
I would be sketched the hell out.
@blvckphvse i said the same thing to myself and him jokingly. I guess so! I just didnt want to talk no for an answer...
@Sailor_Mars FINALLY Someone level headed LMAO thank you!!!!!
@frozenintime Completely like cold turkey completely? That's going to be hard. So the way my personality is set up im not sure if i can do that. I'm a go getter. Plus usual if i think about someone i would reach out to them and let them know. Ughhh but i will try. Plus he's all over my social media so that doesnt make it any easier. ughhhh
@emeraldgem No he is in Chicago. I'm on the east coast in Philadelphia. I understand about the whole long distance thing. I just wanted to establish a friendship first and over the years once we grow close and we both were in agreement that we wanted to take it to the level then we would talk about the moving situation. He was open to moving and so am i. Not to Chicago though for me wayyyyyy to cold. He was open however to moving to the east coast.
@emeraldgem I've neverrrr been to CALI! Cheap and easy huhhhh Well im sure we can do a couple of cheap things that probably wont be easyyyy LMAO
@Arille83 Every compliment i gave this guy was uniquely tailored to him. If he thinks there were insincere he would def be mistaken. Any so called "Ships" can be projections whether on the internet or real life. It takes the parties involve to make it an reality..
@Black-Mamba EXACTLY!! I like you. You get me.....
@Black-Mamba I will take your advice on the crab dick! lol and i will fall back and wait and see!! Im not good at this game though fair warning......
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Jul 09, 2015Comments: 9 · Posts: 3024 · Topics: 377
When people ignore you the answer is always move on with your life. Just for the simple facts that unless you know them well and something could be potentially wrong then they are not Investing in the relationship.