so my ex cancer has iced me out..

He kept saying he would prolly leave town so I did him a favor and left for him. I felt bad about it so I apologized etc. Now he wont talk to me. Why the fuck does it matter if he kept saying he'd prolly leave at some.point anyway? He can dish it but not take it? The thing is he has my stuff, and he wont respond so I can't get it back. Someone explain why he'd hold my shit hostage? Wouldn't he want it gone if he hates me so much? Hates me for calling his bluff apparently, or not letting him have control...wtf...it makes no sense.

You're an idiot.

I'm.not trying to save anyone I just want my fucking stuff back.

Yeah I never understood holding someone's stuff as hostage.

So you left him, but your stuff behind?

And he has a responsibility to do what exactly?

Sigh...why did I post this? I forgot some stuff. It happens. I'm not a bitch it was sincere BC I couldn't take what he was doing to me anymore. I'm not all over the place. Ice been cool and collected ever since. I just want my stuff. I'm the one who dodged the psycho bullet a d I am soooooo grateful!

Posted by boxcarmirnta
He kept saying he would prolly leave town so I did him a favor and left for him. I felt bad about it so I apologized etc. Now he wont talk to me. Why the fuck does it matter if he kept saying he'd prolly leave at some.point anyway? He can dish it but not take it? The thing is he has my stuff, and he wont respond so I can't get it back. Someone explain why he'd hold my shit hostage? Wouldn't he want it gone if he hates me so much? Hates me for calling his bluff apparently, or not letting him have control...wtf...it makes no sense.

Who cares what he thinks, go over there and get your shit.

Posted by Greentea

Posted by boxcarmirnta
He kept saying he would prolly leave town so I did him a favor and left for him. I felt bad about it so I apologized etc. Now he wont talk to me. Why the fuck does it matter if he kept saying he'd prolly leave at some.point anyway? He can dish it but not take it? The thing is he has my stuff, and he wont respond so I can't get it back. Someone explain why he'd hold my shit hostage? Wouldn't he want it gone if he hates me so much? Hates me for calling his bluff apparently, or not letting him have control...wtf...it makes no sense.

Who cares what he thinks, go over there and get your shit.

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I agree with this, go to his place and demand your stuff back. I have never heard of anything this stupid.

Sigh.....nobody gets it which is fine. I don't want to elaborate. And shut up Arielle..why do you always have to be such a dick? He showed ME how little he cared about MY FEELINGS by constantly threatening to leave me. That is disgusting behavior. And I should never have put up with it. But we've got contact. All will be over soon thank god.

Oh no... you guys broke up again.... and u left town.... like just upped and left... what about school/work etc..... you are so strong

Yea no that's wrong actually ^^ it doesn't really fit with my situation at all.

Posted by cappygirl11
Oh no... you guys broke up again.... and u left town.... like just upped and left... what about school/work etc..... you are so strong

I didn't leave town, just him. Yea it hurt like a bitch!! But ya know, I cant be an afterthought anymore or taken for granted. I feel a lot stronger than I was before. We have talked briefly..he's still hurt by some things I said. But he never owns up to his part in anything. Just finds something I do to fixate on and remain hurt about forever. But once im done apologizing that remains his problem. If I meant anything to him, he'd fight for me. And he does not. I've always done all the work. Not worth it.

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by cappygirl11
Oh no... you guys broke up again.... and u left town.... like just upped and left... what about school/work etc..... you are so strong

I didn't leave town, just him. Yea it hurt like a bitch!! But ya know, I cant be an afterthought anymore or taken for granted. I feel a lot stronger than I was before. We have talked briefly..he's still hurt by some things I said. But he never owns up to his part in anything. Just finds something I do to fixate on and remain hurt about forever. But once im done apologizing that remains his problem. If I meant anything to him, he'd fight for me. And he does not. I've always done all the work. Not worth it.

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When does a cancerian ever own up to his part

Hehe^

Posted by cappygirl11
When does a cancerian ever own up to his part

When you own up to yours.....

Posted by DonnaElvira77

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by cappygirl11
When does a cancerian ever own up to his part

When you own up to yours.....

you realize she is not in a relationship with you don't you?

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Yes. I was responding to a general question with a general answer.

Posted by boxcarmirnta

Posted by cappygirl11
Oh no... you guys broke up again.... and u left town.... like just upped and left... what about school/work etc..... you are so strong

I didn't leave town, just him. Yea it hurt like a bitch!! But ya know, I cant be an afterthought anymore or taken for granted. I feel a lot stronger than I was before. We have talked briefly..he's still hurt by some things I said. But he never owns up to his part in anything. Just finds something I do to fixate on and remain hurt about forever. But once im done apologizing that remains his problem. If I meant anything to him, he'd fight for me. And he does not. I've always done all the work. Not worth it.

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OP, I am sorry it ended, but it was evident you are not happy. This cancer is a lost case for now, because he is hung up on his ex, and you knew this. So cut your losses, never contact him again and just leave your stuff where it is

If you forgot to take your stuff when leaving, then it is not important stuff....... dont use your not important stuff at his house as an excuse to contact him......

and dont apologize to him anymore!!!! just ignore him, dont contact him and go no contact

Posted by dewiklaessen1991
A cancer always bluffs just manipulation I would not believe a thing to be honest I was 5 years with a cancerman who did that all the time broke up and then the next day or week he would be back apologizing etc because they sometimes do things when they're emotional but don't often mean it if he said he'd leave town but was bluffing then he was looking of you cared enough for him to beg him to stay that's his way of wanting to see if you care it's not a powergame but an emotional game at the same time he does know you would not do that but if you would he would feel offended all of a sudden just let him be for a while ignoring is not for long cancer hates when you ignore them

I totally agree.

I just forgot about my shit..but it does mean something to me so I wanna get it. But yea I haven't spoken to him in awhile now. And I've def done enough apologizing. Its his turn. But it'll never happen.

Posted by Goldigold
Sometimes just writing off the things you've left behind, is worth not dealing with the drama of picking them up. The things I leave at my bf's house are things that I can live without. Next time your in a relationship consider not leaving ur things because of this reason.

Sorry to hear you broke up it always hard. Give it a few weeks to cool down then go get your things, maybe he can leave your things on his porch. And breath....

+1

please, leave your "forgotten" stuff behind, not worth the drama....... it is just an excuse on your part...... go no contact for now

Its definitely not an excuse...its important to me, but I'm not talking to him. I will get it eventually and I appreciate your words.

Thank you!!!!

Posted by YourFavoriteDXPMember

Posted by boxcarmirnta
Thank you!!!!

My pleasure.

I admire and believe in the principles of 3 very well established and respected men.

James Bond, Barry White and Steve McQueen.

All 3 men are what men should be, and I know that they would never disallow a lady to have her personal things back if things don't work out in a relationship.

Clint Eastwood gets an honorable mention.

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What about Harrison Ford?

Posted by YourFavoriteDXPMember

When does a cancerian ever own up to his part

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Lol

Posted by YourFavoriteDXPMember

Posted by boxcarmirnta
He kept saying he would prolly leave town so I did him a favor and left for him. I felt bad about it so I apologized etc. Now he wont talk to me. Why the fuck does it matter if he kept saying he'd prolly leave at some.point anyway? He can dish it but not take it? The thing is he has my stuff, and he wont respond so I can't get it back. Someone explain why he'd hold my shit hostage? Wouldn't he want it gone if he hates me so much? Hates me for calling his bluff apparently, or not letting him have control...wtf...it makes no sense.

I agree with you, you left because you were fed up, and I don't blame you.

As for getting your things back, we need to lay out a few ideas.

1.) Does douche rent or own the place he lives in? If he rents, then contact the landlord about getting into the house with the landlord accompanying you to get the stuff back.

2.) If he owns the place, then call the police and file a civil complaint through their office. You will probably have to drive to the local police station to fill out some forms.

3.) If you really want your stuff back, you are going to have to pursue this through either the police or a landlord.

4.) He is holding your stuff because he is being petty and spiteful about the whole thing. If douchey was an adult about this, he would respond to you about a time and date that he is free to open the place up to help you get your things.

You dodged a bullet on this douche. If he is being a dick about your personal stuff, just imagine if you had a baby with this loser.

He is showing you his true colors, and they are really ugly.

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I would definitely not involve a police..... landlord yes, police no....... maybe some day you will get back together..... I would leave your stuff at his for now, and get it later, when you and him are calmer....... give it 1-2 months or more, and then contact him for your stuff..... would this be possible? you and him can not see clearly now for emotions, you loved this man after all....... so no police

Posted by YourFavoriteDXPMember

so no police

Wrong.

If he is refusing to give her things back to her, then a civil complaint with the police is appropriate.

They won't send the SWAT team with a battering ram and tracked vehicles to get her stuff back, but they will contact him and find out what the hell his problem is.

If she has his phone number and address, then they will use that information to contact him and find out why he is being a douche about her personal property.

And that contact alone should be enough to make him quit being a dick about everything and let her have her things back.

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you forget one thing: the OP is still in love with him.... she is leaving because she cant take it anymore..... see my advise above, give it a time to take your stuff back...... until you both calm down..... unless its your ID or passport, anything else can wait

Yes he has not refused...he's just being distant at the mo. Yes i am waiting for things to calm down..