Taurus woman getting ahead of herself with Cancer bloke
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by Peny2016 on Friday, June 23, 2017 and has 4 replies.
We matched on tinder back in May and messaged briefly. we were both out one night so he asked to meet for a drink but I couldn't and didn't reply straight away. I sensed he was a bit sarcastic then. I messaged the next day and he never responded again. A month later he messages me and acknowledges that it was bad form replying so late. we start talking again and he made me laugh. I ask him out that night so we agreed to meet for a drink and grab some food. It was a really nice he ticked a lot of boxes. The two of us got pretty serious in conversation at times because we have similar interests and he's less playful. I was more self concious than usual. Anyway later that night he leans in and kisses me a couple of times and we are both pretty tipsy I think the conversation went wayward to silly land and I ended up bringing him home. I didn't really want to but I did. He was all over me in the house and so up for sex and my last relationship was a passionate scorp I guess I thought it was a good thing. But I did notice the next morning he wasn't very cuddly etc. He asked me about meeting up when I dropped him home gave me a kiss and sent a polite message that night letting me know he'd contact me later in the week. He did and suggested we have to meet up at some stage again which I read as he likes me. I met him after work one evening and we went for dinner. Again i didn't think I was fully me and sensed there's way more to him to see too. I worry I came across way more serious than I am like I know exactly what I want.
He walked me part way home and was sweet, he gave me a couple of kisses and asked if I was free next week. We agreed to do something more chill. Text me to thank me for dinner but no real flirtyness. I initiated a couple of texts over the weekend but he'd wait hours before responding and never ask me any questions to continue texting. Then weds came and nothing so I checked in and we had a bit of banter. I asked if he wanted to hang out the following night - he had plans and didn't offer any alternative. I felt deflated. So I probably too matter of factly just said I try wanted to see him before I went away (I am going away for 2 weeks soon and then he's away for 3) as it would be ages before we could meet up again and I like him but if the feeling isn't mutual it was a pleasure meeting him. Then he sent some mixed signals that he's not playing games and dosnt play tinder number games (not sure what that is) he's not sure what he's looking for, that I seem to know what I want, he's been stung bad before, likes to be cautious and move slow, that I'm more interesting than all his tinder dates put together - so I said I too am slow, have my own stings and that I'm not sure what I want but would like to stay in a bit of touch when we are both away if he wasn't just letting me down gently. Then he says that he still thinks I know what I want and that he has no complicated end goals just wants to meet someone he agreed that timing was crap and he said he'll have no interent where he is going (Ethiopia) and that he's looking forward to that no phone business not because he's trying to avoid anyone just because it's so rare to do these days. I think that's great what he's doing and said I've read between the lines that he seems to be too nice to say. He said he didn't think he was being nice just refused to be so terminal with people then said we'd probably bump into eachother at a festival we are both going to this weekend and undoubtedly have a drink and a laugh which I don't know how to take really. And I left it at that. I have a feeling if I never checked in this week I may never have heard from him at all. And wish now I just let it lie. But I wanted him to know I liked him. Now I feel like chasing him was off putting or else he always knew it was just about a casual hook up and he's just trying to come across all nice guy. He also said he too never usually tries to jump into bed straight away and that it was a first for both of us.
I probably won't bump into him at this festival it's got 15000 people going but if I did how can back pedal so I regain his interest. If he wanted a third date or was in any way curious about me especially after me opening up wouldn't he of said il text you and we'll meet at the festival instead of leaving it to chance? It seemed to be me initiating most things maybe he feels it's all too easy with me. Scorpio stung me bad before so the minute I see hot and coldness from someone I rather just be direct and cut the bullshit now - but maybe I did that too soon here. Please help I really like him.
He walked me part way home and was sweet, he gave me a couple of kisses and asked if I was free next week. We agreed to do something more chill. Text me to thank me for dinner but no real flirtyness. I initiated a couple of texts over the weekend but he'd wait hours before responding and never ask me any questions to continue texting. Then weds came and nothing so I checked in and we had a bit of banter. I asked if he wanted to hang out the following night - he had plans and didn't offer any alternative. I felt deflated. So I probably too matter of factly just said I try wanted to see him before I went away (I am going away for 2 weeks soon and then he's away for 3) as it would be ages before we could meet up again and I like him but if the feeling isn't mutual it was a pleasure meeting him. Then he sent some mixed signals that he's not playing games and dosnt play tinder number games (not sure what that is) he's not sure what he's looking for, that I seem to know what I want, he's been stung bad before, likes to be cautious and move slow, that I'm more interesting than all his tinder dates put together - so I said I too am slow, have my own stings and that I'm not sure what I want but would like to stay in a bit of touch when we are both away if he wasn't just letting me down gently. Then he says that he still thinks I know what I want and that he has no complicated end goals just wants to meet someone he agreed that timing was crap and he said he'll have no interent where he is going (Ethiopia) and that he's looking forward to that no phone business not because he's trying to avoid anyone just because it's so rare to do these days. I think that's great what he's doing and said I've read between the lines that he seems to be too nice to say. He said he didn't think he was being nice just refused to be so terminal with people then said we'd probably bump into eachother at a festival we are both going to this weekend and undoubtedly have a drink and a laugh which I don't know how to take really. And I left it at that. I have a feeling if I never checked in this week I may never have heard from him at all. And wish now I just let it lie. But I wanted him to know I liked him. Now I feel like chasing him was off putting or else he always knew it was just about a casual hook up and he's just trying to come across all nice guy. He also said he too never usually tries to jump into bed straight away and that it was a first for both of us.
I probably won't bump into him at this festival it's got 15000 people going but if I did how can back pedal so I regain his interest. If he wanted a third date or was in any way curious about me especially after me opening up wouldn't he of said il text you and we'll meet at the festival instead of leaving it to chance? It seemed to be me initiating most things maybe he feels it's all too easy with me. Scorpio stung me bad before so the minute I see hot and coldness from someone I rather just be direct and cut the bullshit now - but maybe I did that too soon here. Please help I really like him.
You keep mentioning that him having sex with you, kissing you etc...is a sign that he likes you.
It isn't.
This was a tinder meetup/hookup. Keep your expectations low. Don't build up his intentions in your head to suit your ideals.
It isn't.
This was a tinder meetup/hookup. Keep your expectations low. Don't build up his intentions in your head to suit your ideals.
Posted by Fun4Life
I'll bump this for you by saying he's just being a typical Cancer guy that moves slowly and methodically.
You didn't say how old he is, but my guess is he's in his 20's or early 30's and this means his relatively immature in Cancer man years.
When you inject alcohol into the mix and the hormones start raging he jumped into something sexual before he was probably ready, and he knows the seriousness that signifies.
Now he just wants to back off a little bit, because he's afraid of getting too serious, meaning he probably doesn't want a wife yet.
Evidently you are sending signals that indicate a seriousness he can't match?
Taking him home so quickly ended the chase for him, and now he feels confident.
I'm kind of dealing with something like this right now with a Gemini girl (29 yo).
She wants to move really fast, and I'm telling her to go with the flow and take it slow. See where it leads.
I know if I had sex with her it ratchets up the intensity and the feelings for both of us, so I'm not going there yet. I have perfect self-control, being a bit more mature than I suspect you two are.
We are both just turned 30... Yeah I think you are right I really didn't feel like sleeping with him would cheapen it but now I feel cheap ? .. Dont think I made a great impression or at least I definitely didn't play the long game - he just seemed so sweet like butter wouldn't melt I didn't think but I can be naive and a bad judge of character.
Fun4life do you think he just letting me down gently or do you think it's possible to get back on curious ground...!? I did indicate a seriousness it's the dependency paradox with me .. If I know I'm safe trying with someone I can be the most relaxed in the world but if you are gamey or hot and cold il put all my cards off rather rip te bandaid off earlier than later ... There was an air of seriousness but all I really wanted was the security of knowing he likes me too and is interested as we won't see eachother for 6 weeks and I'm a one man woman in the brain... I wasn't asking for committment as I clearly don't know him yet enough but just probably came across too strong anyway regardless ??
Thanks
Posted by Fun4Life
I had dinner with this girl once, she was mid 20's or so, I was around 30. 2nd time together I took her home and I couldn't stop myself, nor could she and we had sex. After that night we never went out again, and I remember feeling "cheap" too, like she used me. 1st time (only?) for me.
Very tough to know if he's letting you down gently, or just backing off for now. I don't have enough facts, nor do I obviously know you. Could be either way. Truth be told, as a Cancer, I played quite a few games in my late 20's, and karma will get me someday if it hasn't already. I never wanted to hurt anyone, and would always let them down easily if I let go, but generally I wouldn't EVER hit someone once and not see someone again. I can count on one hand the number of times I've done that, and can't honestly recall who. 95% of the time if I cared about someone enough to have sex, I viewed it as more than one night only. Like Lady Neptune said, Tinder defines this a bit, as we all know the rep that site has. Sorry if this sounds rambling and all over the place, but you can follow up if you want.
Thanks Fun4life, yeah I don't think either of us are using it that casually though - but he maybe who's knows really. I guess il know this weekend if I see him... Aw I hate games so much but il have to part take - thanks for your insight ?
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