To all Cancers-Need advise Please

My on again off again love, use to live together. We have been broken up for the past year and haven't seen each other for a year and a half due to long distance. He came into my life again four months ago after his father passed, contacting me telling me he doesn't want to speak to anyone but me even though things have been crazy between us. we have had a very intense and connected relationship in the past. He recently kept sending me mixed messages telling me he's moved on yet weeks later telling me he still loves me and hasn't been with anyone in any shape or form (which I intuitively trust) and I haven't either. He informed me that he missed me so much, still loves me but is afraid and doesn't trust us because of the craziness that took place between us in the past. He kept playing the push and pull dance which started driving me crazy and led to me going off on him really badly. He ignored me for a month and then contacted me again. He was semi drunk informing me that I am his home, how much he misses and love me, and how his friends are trying to set him up with women and he can't do it since it makes him feel like he's cheating and says no one compares to me. Towards the end of the conversation, he told me we weren't on the same page as far as wanting a relationship (I want one). Well, I had recorded half of the conversation, my intentions being, to share with him why I am so confused. Days later it was shared with him and he said he was embarrassed and abruptly said I betrayed him and lied about recording him. He said we should let go and goodbye (has before). I sent him emails after that going off on him. It's been two months and a serious personal situation took place on my side which he was contacted through a friend of mine. He responded to her telling her his heart went out to me and that I had told him to pretty much not contact me via email (twisted around what I had emailed). I would like feed back to why he pushes and pulls and if it has a lot to do with getting hurt. Even though I finally felt like I had to record his back and frothiness, I would like to know if anyone thinks he will forgive me and what I can do to make matters better. I truly love him and know he loves me also. I want to be with him. I know he is hurting due to childhood issues he is working on and his father passing. Does anyone think he will come around? Should I contact him or let him be and have him contact me?

I am a pisces and he a cancer btw.

Im not a cancer, but apologize if you must and then go on with your life. Let Father Time heal his wounds and yours. You need to deal with your own issues, also. If you and him are not on the same page about being in a relationship, then walk away and stop showing your a** every time you get mad about it. Real love is not this hard.

GeorgiaPeach- Thanks for the feedback. I understand what you are saying. I do usually leave him alone. He will usually contact me. I am almost always gaurded in the beginning of our conversations. He will express his love for me. Of how I am "the one". Days later, he is distant again. He says he watches how other woman are with their boyfriends and that it doesn't compare to how I am with him. He also expressed how he misses me all the time but is afraid, yet creates this back and forth drama.

I mean, am I the one coming off too strong for this cancer male?

"Real love is not this hard"- I think it very well is when a man has major childhood trauma he is sorting though according to everthing I have gathered research.

Um, what he is doing to you is not real love. He says he loves you, but isn't ready for a relationship? What does that mean? He is just toying with you. There one minute and gone the next. How long are you willing to wait around for this man who can't make up his mind. He says he loves you, but is he treating you that way? How do you know he isn't seeing other people? You just believe what he says. Seems like he just wants to make sure you are still available as a back up in case future relationships don't work out for him. You should tell him to make up his mind, and that you aren't going to wait around forever. Unless, of course, deep down you really like all this back and forth business.

domanb-thank you for your feedback!

He and I had a very intense, complicated relationship due to his past (was sexully abused and just started getting help for it about nine months ago).
I was going through things of my own during our relationship. I have grown a lot the past year apart from eachother. However, I did hurt him due to my own issues at the time. Being cancer male and added childhood issues he is now dealing with, trust is very inportant to him and he has a very hard time trusting anyone. I never cheated on him, which he trusts, but I did hurt him verbally and emotionally at the time. I have had my fair share of cheaters in the past, but intuitively trust him. Not to mention, have seen a few psychics . All the psychics predicted events that have taken place, along with confirming he "loves you deeply, has no other women in his life, is fearful of us, and reason of his push and pull is his own demons he is dealing with".

I don't fully know if he's with other people or not. All I could go by is my intuition (I'm a pisces and our intuitions are very strong), the psychics, and the fact that we once were close roomates for a year (he never dated or slept with anyone during that time).

I guess my question is if the push and pull is a cancer thing. I mean, is this about wanting to be with me then remembering all the hurt from the past and pulling away—??

Well, yes, the push-pull thing can be seen as a Cancer trait. Cancers' emotions fluctuate like the changing tides, high one moment, low the next. This can be manifested as a pushing and pulling. Since he seems to be focusing it on you, it is probably safe to say he does want to be with you. But for the reasons you've listed above, I think it would be unhealthy for him to be involved in your life right now. It sounds like he needs to sort some things out with himself, and spend some time alone dealing with his own issues before he can make himself available for a relationship.

Also, Cancers are very grounded in the past. We use it to guide are future actions, and protect ourselves against people or situations that may have been harmful in the past. It takes us a VERY long time to get over things, and even then, we never fully forget.

domanb- Thanks again for the comment.

I agree with with you as far as it would be unhealthy for us to be involved right now. We have agreed upon being friends at one point, which becomes difficult due to the depth of our connection. Agreeing upon the friendship, I figured we can built on that. But, he will push and pull; close one minute not the next. Speaking to me then ignoring my calls or messages. It drives me nuts and he is well aware of it. I've noticed he will not fully let me in and I understand due to our past. I have to remind my self that he is dealing with his father's death and therapy, and who knows what, right—!

Well, I did record him on his back and forthness (cell phone has a recorder on it). For the reason being, to share with him why we have such arguments and exactly what he says to lead me to such confusion. Even though he apologizes, admits it is very confusing and that he is very confused, he still does it, like a little child. I told him I loved him, apologized for going to such measures. Embarrassed at first, he later text with with a goodbye message for "violating him and lying about recording him" (which is not true). I felt like he manipulated the whole thing and was acting selfish. I went off on him via emails and haven't heard from him since.
Even though I will leave his BS for him to take responsibility for, I am sorry for making him feel violated. Being a cancer, what are the chances of forgiveness regarding this issue?

On a nother note, a pretty dangerous situation took place on my end. He was contacted through a friend. He responded to my friend telling her his heart when out to me, but he seems to upset me. He metioned how I had emailed he was evil and never wanted to hear from him again. The email was twisted around and I had neve said that. I have heard many cancer manipulation stories and I also have heard of if you hurt them or say anything offensive, they refuse to speak to you—

I am living my life and enjoying the people in it. He is on my mind more often then not. I feel torn and feel like I should be of support during his fathers death, yet he is not there for me when I have a major situation taking place. Is this due to the overwhelming nature of of what he is contending with? Do cancer males run off when they have too much on their plate?

domanb- He metions how he contacts me when he is reminising, but how does reminising equate to "I love and miss you so much. You're my home and I want to go to therapy with you".

From my understanding, cancers do reminise a lot. Does that entail them to contact their ex's each time confessing their undying love for them? Uhhhh, seriously!