Well its over

Well...a few months ago I posted under a different username about a situation concerning me and a good friend who is a cancer. Basically I had dated this girl in Highschool,it didn't work out (because of me) and we remained good friends. So fours years later we had sex for the first time. She came on to me and after the first time we decided to keep it as friends. Well it went from just sex to sleeping over for a few days, calling me baby, telling me she loved me. Even though we were the type of friends who people thought we were dating anyway, things really became like a real relationship. Well recently she stopped wanting to have sex, she stop calling me baby, she wasn't holding my hand, she just stopped being in to anything.

In between all this time she we had a few conversations about were this was going and those were the only times I opened up about what I felt. I told her I did want to be with her, but she said she didn't wanna be obligated. So anyway, last night she came and we went out to eat and some things had happen a few days before that pissed me off. So as we got back to my house and she was leaving, I asked her to come inside so we could do whatever, but I only did this because of her recent attitude of indifference, so basically I asked her if she didn't wanna do that anymore and she said yea, and because it wasn't going anywhere. i asked her if she didn't feel that way about me and she said yea, and i asked her why we had sex in the first place and her answer was just like "I can't just have sex" and she told me to go have sex with someone else.

I told her I didn't expect that from her. So I left and I did something out of the ordinary, I texted her a long message about how I feel like I got played and that I wasn't gonna play dumb game and that I am pissed and hurt and blah blah. She texted me back and said I have so much on my mind and i am working 24/7 I don't have time for anything and that she was sorry. and then she said we were friends before we can be friends now its up to you. I just didn't say anything back.

From what I read about cancers, and from the little bit that I know about girls, when a girl has been around for four years, 95% of it strictly platonic, yet with a hint of attraction, how can she just not have feelings for someone. The worst part about it was during that 4 years, she saw me in a horrible relationship for 2 1/2 years. She should have known that That wasn't the right thing to do...

I think she saw you as stable and secure. You had a great foundation of friendship and she had seen you at your best and worst over your 4 year relationship, so she knew what to expect. She probably got together with you hoping that her feelings would grow into love from your existing friendship, but kept it open so she wouldn't feel obligated to be your girlfriend. Many cancers are not really into labeling a relationship. Very confining...

When she realized that her feelings weren't developing into what she had hoped, her interaction with you began to cool. Cancers look for "the one". Perhaps in her mind, keeping it casual was to protect both your feelings.

Her saying that "you're too busy and have a lot on your mind" sounds like a bit of a cop out. Seems she's trying to put the blame on you for why it isn't working, when it's really her not having strong enough feelings to continue.

I'm sure you'll get different opinions... but it sounds like she's being a bit manipulative.

Well I think I typed it wrong....she was saying she was to busy and had a lot on her mind. She does have two jobs...
But I really suppose your right. The thing is I just dont understand is if she felt that her feelings weren't growing then why would she call me to randomly tell me she loved me...get mad if I don't text her everyday...give me pet names and shit.
..she made it get a little more serious each time....I mean all this stuff was started by her...I have a feeling she is gonna come back but I'm not holding my breath...either way if she does I need time to get over this.