Repeatedly I hear that Cancers can be clingy. What does this mean exactly? How does this behaviour manifest and at what stage of the relationship?
What do you mean by clingy ?
When I met this Cancer guy, all I did was see him looking at me and I shook my butt at him. And he knew a friend of a friend of mine, got that guy to figure out what next bar I was going to and had his friend bring me to the back of the bar to meet him. At that point, he followed me around to every bar I went to (I was on a pub crawl with friends) and walked me 3 miles home. It was really weird and would have been extremely creepy if I didn't like him and think it was cute. When we are out, with or without other people, he would pretty much always be touching me. Either his arm around me or something.
For myself, venus in cancer, I am extremely clingy with guys. Once I like them, I cannot let go!!! I try sooooo hard to be aloof, but I can't. Even now, that cancer guy has moved away and I can't stop thinking about him. It does not help that he texts me everyday, but logically, I am pretty sure we won't date again or hang out any time soon, but I can't help thinking, hoping that we will be together again. Even though I know it is completely ridiculous. It has been months but if he is in town, I pretty much go crazy, wanting to text him where he is and somehow try to get him to hang out with me. It takes major self control to not let him know how crazy I am about him. I probably won't have closure for this until I see he has a new relationship or something, since I guess I can't expect a Cancer guy to just tell me he is not into me anymore. I am trying to go date other people, but it's difficult because part of me wants to leave myself open to him, part of me wants to find someone who is exactly like him and pick up where we left off, but I know that's impossible. I have logic, but my head is so dense, it just won't register and I still have these dumb feelings. I have to somehow date these 'other' people... bleh!
For myself, venus in cancer, I am extremely clingy with guys. Once I like them, I cannot let go!!! I try sooooo hard to be aloof, but I can't. Even now, that cancer guy has moved away and I can't stop thinking about him. It does not help that he texts me everyday, but logically, I am pretty sure we won't date again or hang out any time soon, but I can't help thinking, hoping that we will be together again. Even though I know it is completely ridiculous. It has been months but if he is in town, I pretty much go crazy, wanting to text him where he is and somehow try to get him to hang out with me. It takes major self control to not let him know how crazy I am about him. I probably won't have closure for this until I see he has a new relationship or something, since I guess I can't expect a Cancer guy to just tell me he is not into me anymore. I am trying to go date other people, but it's difficult because part of me wants to leave myself open to him, part of me wants to find someone who is exactly like him and pick up where we left off, but I know that's impossible. I have logic, but my head is so dense, it just won't register and I still have these dumb feelings. I have to somehow date these 'other' people... bleh!
Clingy is being needy, obsessed, fixated on everything the person does and will do next.
I think clinginess comes from:
- Insecurity , excessive worry
- Lack of confidence, with the decisions you make
- Low-Self esteem, worry you are not good enough so you always need it affirmed by partner, seeking validation and self-worth from them or based on the quality of the relationship
- Vulnerability, been hurt many times before, childhood derived pathology
- Fear of the unknown, after giving so much of yourself to this rel & partner is there anything or anyone that will pop out of nowhere and take all of this away from you
- Doubt & Mistrust, wondering whether your partner needs you as much as you need them bc it doesn't seem like it to you
- Need to Control, manipulating partner or situation to make sure the preconceived worst case scenarios (that was spawned from your irrational thoughts) can be prevented
- Pessimism, always apprehensive when something is seems to good to be true, instead of being grateful and accepting it, you keep thinking someone will pull the rug from under your feet
- Denial, denying yourself the freedom to act and speak freely without the influence of your partners actions and words (acting instead of reacting)
- Weakness, inability to self-soothe or take care of yourself as in meeting your own needs instead of expecting/relying on someone to do it for you (you're not a baby anymore, give yourself some credit you're a lot stronger and self-sufficient than you think)
How I know this:
I've been working on overcoming my clinginess. It used to be rampantly prevalent in my younger relationships. The worse was when we would say goodbye, whether it is permanent or only temporary (as in saying goodnight at the end of hanging out!!), and I would suddenly manifest an intense resistance & irrational emotional reaction. I would suddenly start a fight or try to make them mad or resort to emotional manipulation. I can only leave if I am mad at the person but strongly refuse to leave when the person is angry with me. All 4 guys I've had a relationship with noticed this and have called me out on it. ALL of them. Another manifestation of this is the incessant phone calls, I think I have a track record of 30 missed calls and 17 text messages. I hope nobody on this board decides to be a douche and criticize me. I've admitted my faults/flaw and making the effort to change so eat it.
I think clinginess comes from:
- Insecurity , excessive worry
- Lack of confidence, with the decisions you make
- Low-Self esteem, worry you are not good enough so you always need it affirmed by partner, seeking validation and self-worth from them or based on the quality of the relationship
- Vulnerability, been hurt many times before, childhood derived pathology
- Fear of the unknown, after giving so much of yourself to this rel & partner is there anything or anyone that will pop out of nowhere and take all of this away from you
- Doubt & Mistrust, wondering whether your partner needs you as much as you need them bc it doesn't seem like it to you
- Need to Control, manipulating partner or situation to make sure the preconceived worst case scenarios (that was spawned from your irrational thoughts) can be prevented
- Pessimism, always apprehensive when something is seems to good to be true, instead of being grateful and accepting it, you keep thinking someone will pull the rug from under your feet
- Denial, denying yourself the freedom to act and speak freely without the influence of your partners actions and words (acting instead of reacting)
- Weakness, inability to self-soothe or take care of yourself as in meeting your own needs instead of expecting/relying on someone to do it for you (you're not a baby anymore, give yourself some credit you're a lot stronger and self-sufficient than you think)
How I know this:
I've been working on overcoming my clinginess. It used to be rampantly prevalent in my younger relationships. The worse was when we would say goodbye, whether it is permanent or only temporary (as in saying goodnight at the end of hanging out!!), and I would suddenly manifest an intense resistance & irrational emotional reaction. I would suddenly start a fight or try to make them mad or resort to emotional manipulation. I can only leave if I am mad at the person but strongly refuse to leave when the person is angry with me. All 4 guys I've had a relationship with noticed this and have called me out on it. ALL of them. Another manifestation of this is the incessant phone calls, I think I have a track record of 30 missed calls and 17 text messages. I hope nobody on this board decides to be a douche and criticize me. I've admitted my faults/flaw and making the effort to change so eat it.
I actually meant to start a thread about this here on the Cancerian board. It's really common with this sign isn't it? oh gawd i hope so, otherwise... eek. lol
i have a moon in cancer and some of those traits i notice in myself but that after falling deeply for someone and they pulling away on a emotional level.its a sense of feeling im being taken for granted. if it prolongs i will shut down and go off on my own thing sun capricorn.
but yea i cant stand my partner mad at me as i personally cant stay mad for long it annoys me .
but yea i cant stand my partner mad at me as i personally cant stay mad for long it annoys me .
Vulnerability, Doubt& Mistrust, Need to Control... guilty, guilty, guilty!
I remember one of my first bfs, I would hate to get off the phone with him. We'd talk till we couldn't keep our eyes open I couldn't say goodbye. had to be "see you or sweet dreams"
I am emotionally clingy. I don't need to be around you but we have to be emotionally synced or I get very nervous. I need to know what my partner is feeling... even if the emotions are negative. You don't have to tell me, I'll guess it..
And when we're sleeping.. have fun prying my arms off of you. I wants to touch!
I remember one of my first bfs, I would hate to get off the phone with him. We'd talk till we couldn't keep our eyes open I couldn't say goodbye. had to be "see you or sweet dreams"
I am emotionally clingy. I don't need to be around you but we have to be emotionally synced or I get very nervous. I need to know what my partner is feeling... even if the emotions are negative. You don't have to tell me, I'll guess it..
And when we're sleeping.. have fun prying my arms off of you. I wants to touch!
Posted by Jhene
i have a moon in cancer and some of those traits i notice in myself but that after falling deeply for someone and they pulling away on a emotional level.its a sense of feeling im being taken for granted. if it prolongs i will shut down and go off on my own thing sun capricorn.
but yea i cant stand my partner mad at me as i personally cant stay mad for long it annoys me .
Hey Jhene,
(OFF TOPIC)
Oh wow thanks, that is good to know since I was pretty curious about that bc this guy I really like is a Sun Cap & Moon Cancer too. He's off wandered away from me right now to go "process" some stuff I've said & assess our situation i suppose. He promised me he will get back to me after. Since Caps are good for their word, I feel secure about his promise. But being a SunCancer, MoonVirgo, MercLeo, VenusGem ...plus the humiliating post I shared above about my history with guys... I am at edge because he's everything I've always wanted and deserved so I naturally want to better myself and give him only the my best self and nothing less (which is why I don't mind that we are both having space- so I can work on myself more) ....but ugh I'm trying SOOOOO HARD not to react to this negatively and revert to past behavior. I can see how he/situation could trigger it so I'm keeping aware and imposing self-control. ughh so hard.. smh ......on a brighter note, he hasn't been exposed to any of the above misbehaviors. and i'm not gonna say "yet" bc I am determined to do right from now on! whew..
Posted by shellshocker
Vulnerability, Doubt& Mistrust, Need to Control... guilty, guilty, guilty!
I remember one of my first bfs, I would hate to get off the phone with him. We'd talk till we couldn't keep our eyes open I couldn't say goodbye. had to be "see you or sweet dreams"
I am emotionally clingy. I don't need to be around you but we have to be emotionally synced or I get very nervous. I need to know what my partner is feeling... even if the emotions are negative. You don't have to tell me, I'll guess it..
And when we're sleeping.. have fun prying my arms off of you. I wants to!
oh my goodness Thank You someone else out there has the humility to admit this of themselves! lol... 🙂
-yes when i sense it's nearing the end of the phone convo and i have no clue when i will see him again, I start to feel that panic feeling like oh no i have to say bye soon!
-true true true.. I am so independent and love to wander and have my alone times, however i only do that when i feel secure about the rel, which is only possible when I know we are emotionally in sync, problem is, I always think that emotions are touchSO intense and that NOBODY could EVER match it so I always feel DOOMED when i fall for someone bc my emotions are strongly involved! (rel were stressful to me in this way! ugh)
-Communication, very very big on that -ya even if feelings arent mentioned, i am intuitive/perceptive enough and can get a sense from your interaction/comm with me
-I am so touchy feely ...HA
::sigh:: sometimes i feel crazy for these and must change :-\
My guy just always has to be touching me in some way when we're together... hand holding, cuddling, if we're on the couch he'll lay his head on me, even if we're out at the store and I'll be looking at something he'll come up behind me and wrap his arms around me. Or he will just touch my face or hair randomly.
on occasion he'll text me and ask me what I'm up to when we're not together
he always wants to hangout a lot. lol even if we're both tired from work, even if its just to watch him play a video game.
hes a cancer AND has venus in cancer. hah!
but there was no "stage" it just is how its always been.
on occasion he'll text me and ask me what I'm up to when we're not together
he always wants to hangout a lot. lol even if we're both tired from work, even if its just to watch him play a video game.
hes a cancer AND has venus in cancer. hah!
but there was no "stage" it just is how its always been.
Hey all, thanks for your responses. When my crab and I started dating, for the first couple of months he would text me constantly - usually stupid nothing texts. And he'd make some sort of comment if I took too long to respond. He'd also phone me just to have me on the phone - even if neither of us had anything to say. Also, anytime I got up to leave the room, he'd ask where I was going or if I was okay. (Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just going to pee. Is that alright?) I thought he was a little weird, lol.
But he doesn't do any of that stuff anymore. He always was and still is very touchy-feely. But I see that more as a need for affection rather than being clingy.
I wasn't sure if Cancers are clingy only during certain stages of the relationship or all the time. And I didn't know why they sometimes act this way. My guess is that my guy is not longer ridiculously clingy because he no longer has those same doubts and insecurities about where we stand like he might have in the beginning. Make sense?
But he doesn't do any of that stuff anymore. He always was and still is very touchy-feely. But I see that more as a need for affection rather than being clingy.
I wasn't sure if Cancers are clingy only during certain stages of the relationship or all the time. And I didn't know why they sometimes act this way. My guess is that my guy is not longer ridiculously clingy because he no longer has those same doubts and insecurities about where we stand like he might have in the beginning. Make sense?
I think you're right paries, you're fullfilling some need of his and he no longer feels insecure which is good. 🙂
Posted by paries
Hey all, thanks for your responses. When my crab and I started dating, for the first couple of months he would text me constantly - usually stupid nothing texts. And he'd make some sort of comment if I took too long to respond. He'd also phone me just to have me on the phone - even if neither of us had anything to say. Also, anytime I got up to leave the room, he'd ask where I was going or if I was okay. (Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just going to pee. Is that alright?) I thought he was a little weird, lol.
But he doesn't do any of that stuff anymore. He always was and still is very touchy-feely. But I see that more as a need for affection rather than being clingy.
I wasn't sure if Cancers are clingy only during certain stages of the relationship or all the time. And I didn't know why they sometimes act this way. My guess is that my guy is not longer ridiculously clingy because he no longer has those same doubts and insecurities about where we stand like he might have in the beginning. Make sense?
Yeah right on! I would assume that as Cancers mature and fully develop their sense of self, the type of unhealthy clinginess disappears. But yeah in the beginning we like to feel a person out through talking and interaction, it's how we can tell if it's safe to let ourselves fall for the person. It's good that you were not disturbed or repulsed by it in the beginning, whereas some will find it suffocating or desperate. I guess you passed the Cancer's test 🙂 There's something about the way you deal with him, it's probably reassuring so it makes him feel secure about the relationship. Maybe lots of affection, honest open communication, understanding, and unconditional acceptance...those seem to make a crab feel secure!
I'm happy for the two of you! 🙂
At the beginning it was clear that he was really into me. Way more than I was into him. And his behaviour made me feel desired, which in turn made me feel secure and confident in the relationship.
The irony is that since he doesn't cling anymore, now I sometimes feel insecure. Not all the time - just sometimes. On good days I feel that he doesn't cling anymore because our relationship is solid and so clinging serves no purpose. On bad days I feel that he doesn't cling anymore because he no longer has the same desire for me he once did.
"It's good that you were not disturbed or repulsed by it in the beginning, whereas some will find it suffocating or desperate."
When I was much younger, during a stage when I was not really interested in being with anyone, I had a brief relationship with a clingy guy - really clingy. He always wanted to be with me, see me daily, flipped out when other guys looked at me or spoke to me, etc. It drove me insane. The relationship was brief because I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm not sure if I'm remembering correctly because it was so long ago, but I think he was also a Cancer.
The irony is that since he doesn't cling anymore, now I sometimes feel insecure. Not all the time - just sometimes. On good days I feel that he doesn't cling anymore because our relationship is solid and so clinging serves no purpose. On bad days I feel that he doesn't cling anymore because he no longer has the same desire for me he once did.
"It's good that you were not disturbed or repulsed by it in the beginning, whereas some will find it suffocating or desperate."
When I was much younger, during a stage when I was not really interested in being with anyone, I had a brief relationship with a clingy guy - really clingy. He always wanted to be with me, see me daily, flipped out when other guys looked at me or spoke to me, etc. It drove me insane. The relationship was brief because I just couldn't take it anymore. I'm not sure if I'm remembering correctly because it was so long ago, but I think he was also a Cancer.
Posted by gemcancervenus
For myself, venus in cancer, I am extremely clingy with guys. Once I like them, I cannot let go!!! I try sooooo hard to be aloof, but I can't. Even now, that cancer guy has moved away and I can't stop thinking about him. It does not help that he texts me everyday, but logically, I am pretty sure we won't date again or hang out any time soon, but I can't help thinking, hoping that we will be together again. Even though I know it is completely ridiculous. It has been months but if he is in town, I pretty much go crazy, wanting to text him where he is and somehow try to get him to hang out with me. It takes major self control to not let him know how crazy I am about him. I probably won't have closure for this until I see he has a new relationship or something, since I guess I can't expect a Cancer guy to just tell me he is not into me anymore. I am trying to go date other people, but it's difficult because part of me wants to leave myself open to him, part of me wants to find someone who is exactly like him and pick up where we left off, but I know that's impossible. I have logic, but my head is so dense, it just won't register and I still have these dumb feelings. I have to somehow date these 'other' people... bleh!
holy crap i have a cancer venus too and that is so dead on.
i have to same problem as soon as i like a guy then i tend to get completely into the whole situation and i come off as such an obsessive creep (which maybe i am?)
but yeah seriously, hard time letting go.
same situation of a guy leaving and i want to move on by my heart is still open to the chance he might come back and we might be able to be together.
he's not a cancer but has a cancer moon.
Cancer here.... cusp cancer/gemini. Cancer in mars and mercury.
Speak on myself and wat I observe about me...for years and somewhat now I was a loner. I enjoy being alone.my friends would call me funny acting act that time cause I always need to go in my shell and hide. Also I had friends who was at that time very clingy to me althoug there behavior got on my nerve ,I still like the feeling of being needed so instead of me clinging to people I search for people that was the clingy type so they can cling to me. It left me feeling important and needed and still feel controled wit out feeling too vulnerable , years have pass and I met my scorp I let go after sending him test after test. I allow my self to relax and cling to him abit.. being over affectionate ,sometimes I just want him around for that confort feeling. I never was real affection and real loving or reveal feeling. I think it came frm me being evryboby rock and not wanting to reveal when I was hurt or down cause I didn't want to be seen as weak or needy. Well I woke up out of that around the time I met my scorp.also I realize all the oneway friends I had.none of the friends I had for year new my deepest feeling shited I didn't no my deepest feeling.
Anyway frm time to time I have to give my scrp some breathing room. Which he says now ,that I am not as afectionate as I was. But sometimes when I am feeling down I need him up under me. When see this behavior I go be alone. I also working on balance I am guilty of being others listening board and not getting the same in return ,old habits I guess,
Speak on myself and wat I observe about me...for years and somewhat now I was a loner. I enjoy being alone.my friends would call me funny acting act that time cause I always need to go in my shell and hide. Also I had friends who was at that time very clingy to me althoug there behavior got on my nerve ,I still like the feeling of being needed so instead of me clinging to people I search for people that was the clingy type so they can cling to me. It left me feeling important and needed and still feel controled wit out feeling too vulnerable , years have pass and I met my scorp I let go after sending him test after test. I allow my self to relax and cling to him abit.. being over affectionate ,sometimes I just want him around for that confort feeling. I never was real affection and real loving or reveal feeling. I think it came frm me being evryboby rock and not wanting to reveal when I was hurt or down cause I didn't want to be seen as weak or needy. Well I woke up out of that around the time I met my scorp.also I realize all the oneway friends I had.none of the friends I had for year new my deepest feeling shited I didn't no my deepest feeling.
Anyway frm time to time I have to give my scrp some breathing room. Which he says now ,that I am not as afectionate as I was. But sometimes when I am feeling down I need him up under me. When see this behavior I go be alone. I also working on balance I am guilty of being others listening board and not getting the same in return ,old habits I guess,
As if it wasn't bad enough that you must deal with those negative attributes singularly. In a match-up, such attributes are accentuated. You become someone you're not - or mostly repress. The feelings... and actions... and drama: all just unnecessary bullshit. Also seems like there's no middle ground. Either you are too aloof, or too clingy. You fuck with the balance, and thus fuck up the relationship's potential of continuation. A risk not worth taking IMO.
Posted by shellshocker
I am emotionally clingy. I don't need to be around you but we have to be emotionally synced or I get very nervous. I need to know what my partner is feeling... even if the emotions are negative. You don't have to tell me, I'll guess it..
You said a mouthful there! I'm dating someone with Venus in Cancer & he is emotionally clingy. He always needs reassurance that I care about him. He also likes it when I make an emotional fuss over him (negative) about whatever, & tests me alot. It doesn't bother me though because he's so transparent, lol.
Posted by tiltedmoonshadowPosted by Jhene
i have a moon in cancer and some of those traits i notice in myself but that after falling deeply for someone and they pulling away on a emotional level.its a sense of feeling im being taken for granted. if it prolongs i will shut down and go off on my own thing sun capricorn.
but yea i cant stand my partner mad at me as i personally cant stay mad for long it annoys me .
Hey Jhene,
(OFF TOPIC)
Oh wow thanks, that is good to know since I was pretty curious about that bc this guy I really like is a Sun Cap & Moon Cancer too. He's off wandered away from me right now to go "process" some stuff I've said & assess our situation i suppose. He promised me he will get back to me after. Since Caps are good for their word, I feel secure about his promise. But being a SunCancer, MoonVirgo, MercLeo, VenusGem ...plus the humiliating post I shared above about my history with guys... I am at edge because he's everything I've always wanted and deserved so I naturally want to better myself and give him only the my best self and nothing less (which is why I don't mind that we are both having space- so I can work on myself more) ....but ugh I'm trying SOOOOO HARD not to react to this negatively and revert to past behavior. I can see how he/situation could trigger it so I'm keeping aware and imposing self-control. ughh so hard.. smh ......on a brighter note, he hasn't been exposed to any of the above misbehaviors. and i'm not gonna say "yet" bc I am determined to do right from now on! whew..click to expand
he will get back to when we drift away and state clear we need space to process it just to clear out heads we will be back but if you get emotional or cuss at us for going off and breathe. in my case i tend to find it irritating and i will drift away even if i want to be with you that will turn me off. we are deeply emotional and sometimes get overwhelmed when too much is going on if we dont get that time away we will explode from the inside out and that a dark side neither party wants to see. trust me i have been there. do you live your life he will come around
I once dated a guy who was a Sun in Cancer, Moon in Cancer and Venus in Cancer. I would not call him clingly but this is how it went
2 weeks " I think we should be in a relationship"
3 weeks " I think we should have sex"
1 month " I think we should think about living together"
2 Months " I think we should talk about getting married"
I was so overwhelmed with all of this. It was like he wanted to be loved so bad. He also had no problem talking about how he felt or crying. I miss him but I couldn't do the mood swings. I almost thought he needed to be committed or admitted maybe both.
2 weeks " I think we should be in a relationship"
3 weeks " I think we should have sex"
1 month " I think we should think about living together"
2 Months " I think we should talk about getting married"
I was so overwhelmed with all of this. It was like he wanted to be loved so bad. He also had no problem talking about how he felt or crying. I miss him but I couldn't do the mood swings. I almost thought he needed to be committed or admitted maybe both.
Posted by Nala13
I once dated a guy who was a Sun in Cancer, Moon in Cancer and Venus in Cancer. I would not call him clingly but this is how it went
2 weeks " I think we should be in a relationship"
3 weeks " I think we should have sex"
1 month " I think we should think about living together"
2 Months " I think we should talk about getting married"
I was so overwhelmed with all of this. It was like he wanted to be loved so bad. He also had no problem talking about how he felt or crying. I miss him but I couldn't do the mood swings. I almost thought he needed to be committed or admitted maybe both.
haha thats funny. i see myself in that man. although i don't have those water signs, but moon in cancer only. i have mostly air.
Posted by Nala13
I once dated a guy who was a Sun in Cancer, Moon in Cancer and Venus in Cancer. I would not call him clingly but this is how it went
2 weeks " I think we should be in a relationship"
3 weeks " I think we should have sex"
1 month " I think we should think about living together"
2 Months " I think we should talk about getting married"
I was so overwhelmed with all of this. It was like he wanted to be loved so bad. He also had no problem talking about how he felt or crying. I miss him but I couldn't do the mood swings. I almost thought he needed to be committed or admitted maybe both.
whoa there whoa! intense too soon
your use of words are funny "I almost thought he needed to be committed or admitted maybe both"
i'd head for the hills i tell ya
i have one water sign and it pisses me off as it is already tsk damn moon >.>
I have a water moon too..Scorpio and a Fire Sun sign. Believe it or not , most times the water is stronger than fire. Who would have ever thunk it. Thanks for the compliment. English was my favorite subject. Words are our friends. Lol
We can cling...but swing like a pendulum too!
Because I'm aware of this trait, I keep in in check, even though I'd love that extra lingering hug from someone special I will give a quick final squeeze and move on.
Don't wanna freak anyone out with clingliness, do we 😉
Emotional clinginess, harder to keep in check, but nothing helps more than getting busy with life.
Physical clinginess; in bed I love to entwine legs, climb on, rest my hand on a face....but then it's like, hmmmm, that cold edge of the bed is calling me now.
Problem is, us crabs feel deep and all the way when feelings are involved so detatching is very hard.
Because I'm aware of this trait, I keep in in check, even though I'd love that extra lingering hug from someone special I will give a quick final squeeze and move on.
Don't wanna freak anyone out with clingliness, do we 😉
Emotional clinginess, harder to keep in check, but nothing helps more than getting busy with life.
Physical clinginess; in bed I love to entwine legs, climb on, rest my hand on a face....but then it's like, hmmmm, that cold edge of the bed is calling me now.
Problem is, us crabs feel deep and all the way when feelings are involved so detatching is very hard.
Posted by SnowAngelsBurial
Also seems like there's no middle ground. Either you are too aloof, or too clingy. You fuck with the balance, and thus fuck up the relationship's potential of continuation. A risk not worth taking IMO.
Can't say it's boring, though! 😉
honestly I think younger/immature cancer men have this problem the most as I dealt with it myself and it sucked. I am 29 and get the rush to feel clingy, but I know how to handle it better and give people space.
Cancer Men in this early 20's are probably unattractive to most signs in the zodiac because of this flaw we have, but we end up surpassing all but probably 2 before its said and done because we can manage it really good eventually and be slightly assholish and then women respond better.
Cancer Men in this early 20's are probably unattractive to most signs in the zodiac because of this flaw we have, but we end up surpassing all but probably 2 before its said and done because we can manage it really good eventually and be slightly assholish and then women respond better.
I'm clingy. I admit it openly because it's simply a fact of who I am.
For example, when I'm at a party with a GF, I'll likely be with her 9 out of 10 minutes (not necessarily every 10 minutes, but you get what I mean). I'm not always talkative, and much of how I read people and communicate is through body language. With most people, that means looking at what they're doing. With a GF, I get to touch her, and that gives me SO much more information. I've had entire conversations with my woman without saying a word or even making eye contact; we just felt each other out.
I view everything in life through an emotional lens. I'm very sensitive, and so when there's something that makes me uncomfortable or upset/angry/nervous in any way it can take a strong hold over me. That's why I like to be around my woman; she's an anchor, a rock of love and happiness that I can hold on to to keep me from falling away into brooding and depression. So long as she's there with me, beside me or in my arms, I can feel secure, and that gives me the strength and courage to face ANYTHING life throws my way.
For example, when I'm at a party with a GF, I'll likely be with her 9 out of 10 minutes (not necessarily every 10 minutes, but you get what I mean). I'm not always talkative, and much of how I read people and communicate is through body language. With most people, that means looking at what they're doing. With a GF, I get to touch her, and that gives me SO much more information. I've had entire conversations with my woman without saying a word or even making eye contact; we just felt each other out.
I view everything in life through an emotional lens. I'm very sensitive, and so when there's something that makes me uncomfortable or upset/angry/nervous in any way it can take a strong hold over me. That's why I like to be around my woman; she's an anchor, a rock of love and happiness that I can hold on to to keep me from falling away into brooding and depression. So long as she's there with me, beside me or in my arms, I can feel secure, and that gives me the strength and courage to face ANYTHING life throws my way.
My mom is a Cancer. She is only clingy when it comes to romance. Otherwise, a loner.
haha I was on a dif thread in a dif board and I saw one of those "elsewhere on dxpnet" things, with this thread topic and I was like "clingy?? haha I bet that's the cancer board" so I clicked it to find out.
Was I right or was I right?
I was very co dependent in my early relationships until I married a cancer and got smothered. I cannot stand that crap these days. Yech!
Was I right or was I right?
I was very co dependent in my early relationships until I married a cancer and got smothered. I cannot stand that crap these days. Yech!
Posted by crabcakesandmayo
We become clingy when we are forced to read between the lines. But no worries! When this becomes tiresome and/or boring we detach. Usually for good.
Posted by ScorpSuperior
My mom is a Cancer. She is only clingy when it comes to romance. Otherwise, a loner.
I am the same way. A big loner until my little claws lol grab onto a lover. 🙂
Posted by crabcakesandmayo
We become clingy when we are forced to read between the lines. But no worries! When this becomes tiresome and/or boring we detach. Usually for good.
Very true. Once I tire of figuring things out or yearning for someone's affections, I give up. This is usually for good and I don't go backwards.
Posted by seraphPosted by xsyzygyxPosted by paries
Repeatedly I hear that Cancers can be clingy. What does this mean exactly? How does this behaviour manifest and at what stage of the relationship?
When you're clingy, you resist separation since it is too painful. You become emotionally attached to your partner and therefore wish to share everything with them.
The obsessive, possessive and jealousy tendencies can begin to manifest at any stage quite frankly... Even before courtship has formally begun.
It is important to establish whether the feelings are reciprocated, otherwise you end up sounding like this:
Priceless. But this stuff is all too real.click to expand
I'm embarrassed to admit that I have definitely left my share of irate vmails on a Scorps phone before. :-/
Well im glad ive never sunk sooo low!! Great video 🙂
Never been called clingy, I think I would be offended if I were.
Hello Craab 🙂 Did you get yourself a pet wolf? 😉
I miss Zenny too 😢
I miss Zenny too 😢
I haven't read anybodies post so excuse my ignorance. Clingy for me means I can hang out with you all day every day of the week and not get sick and tired of you. Being in your company brings me happyness. I don't need a social circle to feel accepted.
Most people feel sufficated if your around them too much. I've read stories where the Cancer will call you everyday and will knock on your door if you don't answer your phone. Worried that something happened to you. I think clingyness in an extreme form is insercurty.
Who knows well now I go and read the rest of the thead.
Most people feel sufficated if your around them too much. I've read stories where the Cancer will call you everyday and will knock on your door if you don't answer your phone. Worried that something happened to you. I think clingyness in an extreme form is insercurty.
Who knows well now I go and read the rest of the thead.
This is from the Urban Dictionary on what Clingyness means I'm going to post the first 3.
1. A boyfriend/girlfriend or possibly someone who likes you who becomes let's say, obssesed. Signs that your boyfriend/girlfriend is clingy: doesn't stop calling, constantly tells you how much they love/like you, writes you songs, buys you flowers/chocolate so much it gets annoying, and wants to spend time..all the time.
For serious cases they may begin talking about moving in, or marrige after only a month!
Example:
Sally:When I first started dating Bob it was ok..but now..he's always around me, my answering machine is never empty, and he's best friends with my mom!
Sally's friend: Damn that's clingy!
2. When a person becomes annoying by always wanting to be around you, talking to you, calling you and just basically suffocating you.
I see why Robert doesn't like Kelly. She won't leave his fuckin' ass alone. What a clingy bitch!
3. A Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Significant Other who doesn't know the definition of "space"
Christina is wayyyy to clingy.
1. A boyfriend/girlfriend or possibly someone who likes you who becomes let's say, obssesed. Signs that your boyfriend/girlfriend is clingy: doesn't stop calling, constantly tells you how much they love/like you, writes you songs, buys you flowers/chocolate so much it gets annoying, and wants to spend time..all the time.
For serious cases they may begin talking about moving in, or marrige after only a month!
Example:
Sally:When I first started dating Bob it was ok..but now..he's always around me, my answering machine is never empty, and he's best friends with my mom!
Sally's friend: Damn that's clingy!
2. When a person becomes annoying by always wanting to be around you, talking to you, calling you and just basically suffocating you.
I see why Robert doesn't like Kelly. She won't leave his fuckin' ass alone. What a clingy bitch!
3. A Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Significant Other who doesn't know the definition of "space"
Christina is wayyyy to clingy.
Posted by paries
Repeatedly I hear that Cancers can be clingy. What does this mean exactly? How does this behaviour manifest and at what stage of the relationship?
For me it means constant needing of attention, affection, and asspats. The 3 A's. It's okay when a Cancer wants alone time and they are happy to have it, but the moment their partner wants alone time; especially if they haven't explained themselves, they leak feelings all over you. Next thing you know you're hearing about how hurt they are and you're sitting there like "Damn fool, a bitch just wanted to have some solitude. You know, like I give you!"
The constant need for emotional validation can be draining. Fortunately, as a Virgo, I tend to have a lot of attention to give. I live for service and Cancers need a lot of it.
There's a certain demanding of perfection towards an ideal created somewhere in a watery subconscious they can just "expect" you to get. I've had Cancer coworkers who, literally, expected people to understand why they were upset about something without them having to explain why.
During my initial encounters with Cancers we tend to automatically gel. I'm very dry witted and accomodating, which tends to mesh well with their need to drench somethign in their affection and attention. As time goes on however, the insecurities can begin to show; normally within 2-3 months depending on the relationship. Then, next thing you know; you're filling in gaps, listening to dreams, buoying up self-esteem, and providing silence reassurance because it's so often needed.
I don't know so much if Cancers are "clingy" is they're very invested in you and, in turn, expect you to be JUST AS invested in them; which can be difficult when they're capable of taking so much out of you. But the warmth, charm, laughter, and delicious affection can often be more than worth it.
I agree w/Shellshocker...fear around making ourselves vulnerable can make us either/or/and manipulative & clingy. It's really scary for a Cancer to put their heart out there. We play games & then get burned. We act needy & drive away the object of our affection. Until we can get a better handle on our fears, we will keep sabotaging our best chance at happiness. I'm an optimist in life so I think it's possible for us to do just that. Then again I'm single and not on the crazy relationship roller coaster ride. It's easy to pontificate from the sidelines.
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