When cancers withdraw into their shells, do they come back out?

This topic was created in the Cancer forum by librasuncapmoon on Wednesday, November 1, 2017 and has 5 replies.
Hello all,

SHORT VERSION:

What do I do when a Cancer withdraws? I personally feel off when the affection I show isn't being reciprocated back, so I am having a hard time dealing with my Cancer's moodiness.

What is the best approach? Should I be patient and just show him I care and accept him and his moodiness? Or should I do what I would normally do: express my unhappiness and sort of call him out?

Will he come out of his shell and return to how he used to be? Or am I just holding on to nothing?

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LONG VERSION:

I am a Libra Sun/Cap Moon female (Virgo Venus) and I'm with a Cancer Sun/ Aries Moon (Leo Venus). When we first started talking, he was the one that kept pursuing. He was super into me. I would blow him off or politely refuse his advances, and it would want to make him try harder. His persistance finally got to me. We are now dating and have been dating for two months.

Our situation is a LDR (he is at college, 7 hours away from where I go to school).

I started to become really overwhelmed with balancing school, work, homework, family, AND him. So I asked if we could backtrack our relationship (kind of take a step back, just so I can regroup and fix my priorities). He agreed to it, willing to wait for me until I felt like I had my priorities straight.

Two weeks later, he asks me where we were. I told him that earlier in the day I wrote him a letter saying that I was ready to continue where we were, and I was going to mail it to him as a surprise. Now he's saying that he actually felt that while we were taking a step back, he couldn't call me his girlfriend and therefore the whole thing felt like a break up to him (even though I made it clear that I wanted to be with him and there was no one else in the picture). He's saying he still wants to be with me, but he needs time to get back to where we were.

I get hurt though, when he doesn't return the affection I show him. He has stopped referring to me in loving nicknames and being open about how much he misses me and all the things he used to do.

How should I handle this situation so that things will get back to normal?
SHORT VERSION ADVICE:

Continue to give him a lot of TLC and reassurance.
From a cancer sun with leo venus:

He seems to be hurt because of your time off. If you were clear, honest and had good intentions with him and he's now withdrawing you shouldn't play that game. He seems to be playing a bit diva and perhaps waiting for you to pursue. Some kind of punishment and emotional manipulation - we cancers are great at it. If you were what I described above you shouldn't accept that behaviour. Maybe wait a bit but I would suggest you need to confront him. Call him on his bullshit essentially. If he continues like this and you accept his behaviour you'll opening a precedent and allowing him to cross a boundary. I'm not saying he is doing this rationally and trying to hurt you on purpose. You offended his ego (leo venus...) by holding back and he's hurt - without a reason. If you talk with him rationally he'll respect you. If not, then he probably isn't that much into you.
I also am a cancer with a Leo venus and my perspective is different. He doesn’t feel like ur boyfriend probably because he wasn’t acting like your boyfriend. We want attention and when we don’t get it from one person, we seek it elsewhere. Now I’m not saying he cheated or crossed any boundaries. But during that time, he may have found someone else to fill the void.

It will be his decision to choose you. There’s nothing you can really do about it. The best thing is to give him space so he can miss you. But if he didn’t miss you during the break, that’s not really a good sign in my opinion.
Posted by Cancervirgo15degrees

The longer the space of time it is before i contact you again represents the amount of work that will have to be put back into the relationship to get it at a decent place.


SO is it a good sign or a bad sign if it only takes you a few days to contact again? Also, what can be done to repair it?