When dealing with a hurt, do you want others near?
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by ChrisNews on Tuesday, March 25, 2014 and has 14 replies.
I've been dealing with emotional drama the for the last few weeks. The last time I went through something as intense (emotionally) I had little ones.
It has been 9 years. I forgot how to function with dealing with emotional heartache. I wonder how I did it and took care of them
I live alone but I noticed that even for the hour or two my son would stop by or the little time I would be with my daughter, I wanted to be alone.
Now, after recovery from a minor surgery, I have my mom here and I am grateful for her and the help but there is a small part of me that wants to be completely alone so I can cry and wail and wallow is pitiful depression or something that in my brain i see as so silly - a breakup with a man.
It is probably a good thing I am not alone.
Just wondering if anyone else wants to be alone or is it just me.
It has been 9 years. I forgot how to function with dealing with emotional heartache. I wonder how I did it and took care of them
I live alone but I noticed that even for the hour or two my son would stop by or the little time I would be with my daughter, I wanted to be alone.
Now, after recovery from a minor surgery, I have my mom here and I am grateful for her and the help but there is a small part of me that wants to be completely alone so I can cry and wail and wallow is pitiful depression or something that in my brain i see as so silly - a breakup with a man.
It is probably a good thing I am not alone.
Just wondering if anyone else wants to be alone or is it just me.
Sometimes i do. If i'm really sad, i'll go be by myself in my room & cry it out, then i usually talk to my grandma & God about what happened. My dad always tell me to never cry in front of strangers or in public. & to wait til i get home to cry. Now i don't cry that much, only if i'm really upset or sad about something you know. That doesn't make us Cancers weak either. We usually don't like to bombard others with our problems. I don't
But Yeah it's great to have people who actually care for to be available. But if you need to be alone just tell them to come visit or call in a few hours, no biggie. Chris i hope you feel better my fellow Crab brotha lol. I would cook you a special dinner, but i don't think fed ex delivers meals. Try thinking about what God has already blessed you with. I'm sure it's a lot.
Posted by ChrisNews
I've been dealing with emotional drama the for the last few weeks. The last time I went through something as intense (emotionally) I had little ones.
It has been 9 years. I forgot how to function with dealing with emotional heartache. I wonder how I did it and took care of them
I live alone but I noticed that even for the hour or two my son would stop by or the little time I would be with my daughter, I wanted to be alone.
Now, after recovery from a minor surgery, I have my mom here and I am grateful for her and the help but there is a small part of me that wants to be completely alone so I can cry and wail and wallow is pitiful depression or something that in my brain i see as so silly - a breakup with a man.
It is probably a good thing I am not alone.
Just wondering if anyone else wants to be alone or is it just me.
Well, I like to deal with the pain alone. To a point, it is ok to talk things through with others, but I believe in carrying my own burden.
It is a good thing to have people available to support, but you need that recharge time to help sort through your feelings.
One thing you can take comfort in--you still feel which makes you human. Not the best kind of feelings you're having, but you haven't gone hard. The latter is probably the worst thing you can do because you shut yourself off to the things in front of you and miss the joy.
Being alone with lil kids is difficult but you pulled it off all by yourself, amazing : ).
I cry too silently for hours when nobody is looking or when everybody is asleep, lights off, I don't wanna wake anybody up. Or sometimes inside the bathroom. Try playing games, sound crazy but it works.
Make your family your strength, they're the ones who need your love, attention and time. Pray to God, believe in his power.
I cry too silently for hours when nobody is looking or when everybody is asleep, lights off, I don't wanna wake anybody up. Or sometimes inside the bathroom. Try playing games, sound crazy but it works.
Make your family your strength, they're the ones who need your love, attention and time. Pray to God, believe in his power.
Exactly! I agree with @Oxygenada 
. Especially on the God part. Talk to him, & i'm sure he'll make a difference in your life. One thing i love about us Cancers, is we always stick together. We never let our situation defeat us. We always find a way to come out on top. We Crabs are a whole lot tougher than most people or those astrologers think 
. Especially on the God part. Talk to him, & i'm sure he'll make a difference in your life. One thing i love about us Cancers, is we always stick together. We never let our situation defeat us. We always find a way to come out on top. We Crabs are a whole lot tougher than most people or those astrologers think Thank you all for the encouragement. Last week I had days alone at night. I even asked my son not to stop by one day (he is 22 now) because I needed to be alone. Friday night was my worse - I curled up and cried till I didn't have a drop left..
I do pray. I have been crying out to God daily.
This week is better. But I haven't been alone. My mom has been here. I can't let her see me get down. Although she is my mom, she probably can tell anyway. I don't want to worry her.
A part of me does want to be alone. And yet I know I need to pick myself up, for me. For my job and for my own strength. A part of my brain says, you are too strong to be this broken and my heart says, broken I am.
I wish I could be mean and cold and cruel and mostly I wish I didn't have such an acute awareness of my emotions, and I wish I could just digest the smile I fake, so that it would be inward coming out instead of just a layer of fakeness put on my face, like lipstick covering chapped lips.
I do pray. I have been crying out to God daily.
This week is better. But I haven't been alone. My mom has been here. I can't let her see me get down. Although she is my mom, she probably can tell anyway. I don't want to worry her.
A part of me does want to be alone. And yet I know I need to pick myself up, for me. For my job and for my own strength. A part of my brain says, you are too strong to be this broken and my heart says, broken I am.
I wish I could be mean and cold and cruel and mostly I wish I didn't have such an acute awareness of my emotions, and I wish I could just digest the smile I fake, so that it would be inward coming out instead of just a layer of fakeness put on my face, like lipstick covering chapped lips.
Hey cheer up : )! Trust me, cancers may cry bucket loads but we're not weak. Once that mood swings, watch out.
@Chrisnews -what happened to your new friend if I may ask? No need to answer if it's personal. Thanks.
@oxyngenada - I broke up with the boyfriend over a disagreement and a lack of respect towards me. I told him what he was doing was bothering me, and he continued to do it and then added more. And as it turns out he was playing mind games to see how I would act.
Well, I acted how he didn't expect - I packed him stuff and took it to his place. He said he didn't think it would turn out like that.
I was hurt, angry and more angry.
The next day he apologized. Took down the offense but I wasn't ready to just let it go. 2 days after we talked a bit - I still wasn't ready.
4 days later he was cold and playing victim. That I caused it.
The sad thing is, it didn't have to turn out like this but there were other problems in the relationship - this was just the line in the sand. And I told him 2 weeks prior. I know what I can tolerate, I can't tolerate that. I find it to be disrespectful.
I like to confront problems. He likes to completely avoid them. This is one of many that will never get addressed and at this point, I am trying to focus on work and me and getting myself stronger. I let myself fall for this man. I fell hard. I didn't keep any guards up. I gave.
perhaps foolishly, but nonetheless, I hurt.
The inquisitive part of me wants to know why, why did it have to go like this, why couldn't we just be a normal couple, why God - why did you let me waste a year of my life.
Sadly, I have a years worth of journal entries that now reading I can see all the problems that we had now were there in month 2. I just am a foolish optimist.
The part of me that wants to be alone wants to let darkness consume me. And for my job, I know I can't go that far - I have to keep myself functioning. And I am trying. I am reaching out. I am seeking. And yet all I want to do is go lay down and cry.
My mom is still here - she is injured. I have to be strong for her. she needs my help.
But in the quietness of my bedroom, when after she falls asleep, I feel the tears. They fall as exhaustion falls on me.
Well, I acted how he didn't expect - I packed him stuff and took it to his place. He said he didn't think it would turn out like that.
I was hurt, angry and more angry.
The next day he apologized. Took down the offense but I wasn't ready to just let it go. 2 days after we talked a bit - I still wasn't ready.
4 days later he was cold and playing victim. That I caused it.
The sad thing is, it didn't have to turn out like this but there were other problems in the relationship - this was just the line in the sand. And I told him 2 weeks prior. I know what I can tolerate, I can't tolerate that. I find it to be disrespectful.
I like to confront problems. He likes to completely avoid them. This is one of many that will never get addressed and at this point, I am trying to focus on work and me and getting myself stronger. I let myself fall for this man. I fell hard. I didn't keep any guards up. I gave.
perhaps foolishly, but nonetheless, I hurt.
The inquisitive part of me wants to know why, why did it have to go like this, why couldn't we just be a normal couple, why God - why did you let me waste a year of my life.
Sadly, I have a years worth of journal entries that now reading I can see all the problems that we had now were there in month 2. I just am a foolish optimist.
The part of me that wants to be alone wants to let darkness consume me. And for my job, I know I can't go that far - I have to keep myself functioning. And I am trying. I am reaching out. I am seeking. And yet all I want to do is go lay down and cry.
My mom is still here - she is injured. I have to be strong for her. she needs my help.
But in the quietness of my bedroom, when after she falls asleep, I feel the tears. They fall as exhaustion falls on me.
@Chrisnews -Thank you for answering.
Don't forget to take care of yourself so that you can take care others.
Think about the happy moments. I believe you're stronger than that.
Don't forget to take care of yourself so that you can take care others.
Think about the happy moments. I believe you're stronger than that.
I very much want to be alone when I'm upset. There's only a couple of people, and one especially, who I want to have around when I'm upset and the one is usually the best at helping me through it.
In the great depths underneath the ocean, rich treasures will be found. As aware, cold, aloof, cruelty makes a heart turn rigid, cold, and bitter. You're awareness is profound, look deep inside the corners of every darkness, due to a light that is always shinning through the dark. May God Bless You, He would not throw an obstacle you could not handle.
There will be instances where no matter how much you want to be alone, you just couldn't. Yeah it can be exhausting.
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