I have never officially been dating this man. We work together, and he is kind of closed off to everyone except a small group (2) people, and well the boss. We started fooling around in Feb. although we rarely ever have sex. Last time I felt like we were getting close, he disappeared for almost 2 months.
When he came back there was a change in him. He was the one texting me, we actually would go over to his place, he even was getting flirty and fun in the office. We texted and talked a lot more, and it led to me feeling more. After one particularly great day, he just closed off.
He stopped returning my texts, even business ones. So I emailed him about work, and he responded to that. Well, some office drama happened, and he made a co-worker cry. I was upset because he apparently was talking bad about me during this incident. So I texted him saying he was unprofessional and should apologize, also to stop talking shit about me. He showed up 3 different times in my office to talk about the "unprofessionalism" though he didn't admit he was wrong. He said people want him to do their work for them and he isn't going to so no big deal. Since then...complete coldness. I have apologized three times and I did text him saying I get it now he is ignoring me and I will leave him alone, but I don't want to. We were doing so much better than the first time.
I had to email him for work, and he responded a day later, but it was short and cold (indifferent maybe). How do I change this? Do I just give him time? I want to rewind so bad and go back to the night before the drama when we were laughing and getting closer.
Signed Up:
Mar 18, 2013Comments: 0 · Posts: 1355 · Topics: 6
You fooled around & had sex but he didn't want more than that which is why he stopped contacting you. Actions speak louder than words. If a man disappears on you, it means he wants out & is looking for the easy way out.
So the closeness and connection is only in my mind? He just come around when he wants some? Why disappear and come back?
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Mar 18, 2013Comments: 0 · Posts: 1355 · Topics: 6
The closeness and connection is just the bait to get no strings sex. Sorry to say but you're the only one here imagining a relationship. If you want a relationship, don't have sex before you know he loves you, has courted you and made it clear he wants to be with you. Men who don't lay their cards on the table are looking for sex and even emotional comfort but without any commitment, which means they aren't looking to build a life with you or even explore that possibility. And it also means they are keeping their options open to meet someone "better." You don't wanna be the fall back girl. Move on.
If I stop contacting someone/answering their texts/calls, it means I am done, for whatever reason. I might not tell you why, I'll probably just become more distant and disappear eventually. ESPECIALLY if I got what I wanted from the person. In this case it would be sex; he wanted sex, you gave it to him.
Guess he just needed some time he is back
Signed Up:
Dec 25, 2008Comments: 0 · Posts: 4299 · Topics: 74
SMH... from everything you said he doesn't not seem like he's into you. Nothing you can do or say will change that... in fact trying harder will make you look desperate and probably repulse him. You need to consider working on your self-esteem first before you try to pursue any man.