Why do Cancer men like to hurt people?

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enlightenedlibra78
@confusedlibra78
11 YearsLibra

Comments: 0 · Posts: 472 · Topics: 19
Let me start by saying I'm a huge NY Giants fan. My Cancer boyfriend was going to take me to a game for my bday but decided not to at the last minute because it was too expensive. That was in Sept.

A week ago, he said that he had a ticket through his family to go to the game in Green Bay but the flights were too expensive so he wasn't going. Fast forward to last night, I couldn't go to see him because we had some ice on my road and I didn't feel safe.

Imagine my surprise when I wake up to a text this morning saying... I have some good news and some bad news. I ask him what it is and he says he's on the road to Green Bay to see the game and he's sad I'm not with him. I said you could have asked and his response was all these decisions were made at 3 am and he was with his friend.

I am furious. Not even that I'm not going to the game but that he didn't even bother to ask me. He's called me many, many times at 3 am just to say hi but I was clearly not who he wanted to be with. I really think this is over. I'm tired of not being a priority to him. Sorry, needed to vent.
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Bricks195
@Bricks195
9 Years

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Posted by confusedlibra78
Let me start by saying I'm a huge NY Giants fan. My Cancer boyfriend was going to take me to a game for my bday but decided not to at the last minute because it was too expensive. That was in Sept.

A week ago, he said that he had a ticket through his family to go to the game in Green Bay but the flights were too expensive so he wasn't going. Fast forward to last night, I couldn't go to see him because we had some ice on my road and I didn't feel safe.

Imagine my surprise when I wake up to a text this morning saying... I have some good news and some bad news. I ask him what it is and he says he's on the road to Green Bay to see the game and he's sad I'm not with him. I said you could have asked and his response was all these decisions were made at 3 am and he was with his friend.

I am furious. Not even that I'm not going to the game but that he didn't even bother to ask me. He's called me many, many times at 3 am just to say hi but I was clearly not who he wanted to be with. I really think this is over. I'm tired of not being a priority to him. Sorry, needed to vent.

Did you post about this guy before? The Giants game birthday gift sounds familiar.

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Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

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Posted by Koniuchaa
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Koniuchaa
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Koniuchaa
Posted by Gemitati
Are you really hurt?
I'm going to have to ask you slowly step away from the keyboard
Only for respect to your sign...

LMAO...
Thank you my dear ?
I am still laughing though but you can't control that even being a Scorpio! ?
Or can I....dun dun dunnnn
click to expand

Ok! Done!
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

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Posted by DivaCanLeo
Posted by aquarius09
Isn't this the same guy who didn't get you anything for Christmas and then you were wondering if you should give him the presents you got him?
This just sounds so bad
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If this is the same guy, he literally treats her like dirt and therefore I'd say he doesn't respect her. She needs to command respect from him or have enough respect for herself to leave a self absorbed personality like him. I don't think basic manners/courtesy start to slip. He's just a disrespectful asshole.

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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

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Posted by DivaCanLeo
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by DivaCanLeo
To the Op ask him to send a picture of him and his friend




I love your and Arielle's Leo Mercury


I hate when crabs act up. Plus I'm curious.

I like us to remain sweet, loyal, and good.

These fools giving us a bad name
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This is not really a Cancer thing. This is a passive aggressive people thing. Passive aggressive people behave this way because they are too cowardly to say things as they are. Thank the universe for being fire dominant. I'm curious to know what this dude's Moon and venus is.
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Bricks195
@Bricks195
9 Years

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So this is the guy who flaked on football tickets and a Christmas gift for his girlfriend.

OP, I thought he sounded like a bag of dicks before and I think he sounds like a bag of dicks now. I'm not even saying you should leave him, but I think you need to put it to him straight. You think he's playing games, you don't like it, won't put up with it and will leave him if it doesn't stop. But really do it if he doesn't stop and to hell with worrying about his feelings.

He gets something out of trying to hurt your feelings. Brutally maul his and see if it teaches him anything.
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Librajean
@Librajean
9 Years500+ Posts

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Posted by confusedlibra78
Posted by Gemitati
Are you really hurt?
I will take that as you are genuinely asking and not being a dick. Yes, I'm fucking hurt. Not being important to someone that you care about hurts, a lot
click to expand

He sounds completely immature and thinks you will put up with his shenanigans. I say get him back..start doing things without him. Ps. Try not to be too hurt, these aholes really don't care. Until it's over...

They are like children.
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Deedee86
@Deedee86
9 Years1,000+ Posts

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Posted by confusedlibra78
Let me start by saying I'm a huge NY Giants fan. My Cancer boyfriend was going to take me to a game for my bday but decided not to at the last minute because it was too expensive. That was in Sept.

A week ago, he said that he had a ticket through his family to go to the game in Green Bay but the flights were too expensive so he wasn't going. Fast forward to last night, I couldn't go to see him because we had some ice on my road and I didn't feel safe.

Imagine my surprise when I wake up to a text this morning saying... I have some good news and some bad news. I ask him what it is and he says he's on the road to Green Bay to see the game and he's sad I'm not with him. I said you could have asked and his response was all these decisions were made at 3 am and he was with his friend.

I am furious. Not even that I'm not going to the game but that he didn't even bother to ask me. He's called me many, many times at 3 am just to say hi but I was clearly not who he wanted to be with. I really think this is over. I'm tired of not being a priority to him. Sorry, needed to vent.

Be thankful. You get to watch in the warmth of your living room, he's freezing his ass off!

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Ophiuchus
@Ophiuchus
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 18 · Posts: 629 · Topics: 16
Posted by DivaCanLeo
Posted by Ophiuchus
Cause they're cancer.

I think a better question would be, why do people like to get hurt by Cancers?
This isn't a fair assessment.

The OP has been playing with fire for awhile.

Ignoring red flags.. this could be any sign man
click to expand

lolz I've seen more "My Cancer man hurt me" threads than any other sign, lmao. Dxp as a whole seems to put up with them quite a bit
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SelenaKyle
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts

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Posted by DivaCanLeo
Posted by DonJohn
i'll speak for the cancer man.



dude's going with another girl. you are not his priority.



cancer men are passive aggressive in relationships. we don't really want you anymore, we will forget bday gifts and to call you.



the fact is cancer men have great memories. he is passive aggressively letting you know it's over from my perspective.



btw my advice is to always salvage a relationship. you can see my history of relationship advice here. but when he is that careless and clearly does not put you as a priority, then it's over. in his mind already.
This is a possibility. I didn't think a crab could be cruel.

Smh
click to expand

You are kididng right CC? LOL
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SelenaKyle
@justagirl
12 Years25,000+ Posts

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Posted by DivaCanLeo
Posted by justagirl
Posted by DivaCanLeo
Posted by DonJohn
i'll speak for the cancer man.



dude's going with another girl. you are not his priority.



cancer men are passive aggressive in relationships. we don't really want you anymore, we will forget bday gifts and to call you.



the fact is cancer men have great memories. he is passive aggressively letting you know it's over from my perspective.



btw my advice is to always salvage a relationship. you can see my history of relationship advice here. but when he is that careless and clearly does not put you as a priority, then it's over. in his mind already.
This is a possibility. I didn't think a crab could be cruel.

Smh
You are kididng right CC? LOL
No. I'm a different crab. I just leave a relationship. I don't think he would just take another woman to the game. That's cold.

It hasn't been confirmed anyways
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I wasn't saying anything about another female...

I meant the comment about Crabs coud be cruel. Anyone can be cruel...



This guy didn't want a relationship with her to start with, i think it's the same on again, off again guy she's been "dating" for almost a year if not longer. DJ is actually pretty acuate in his assesment in my opinion.

If someone even did half of what this guy has done or not done, i would have been like cya.

I tolerate a lot, but I seriously get sick of the side ways dance crabs do, but i put up with it, for a time, doubt i will do that much anymore after what i have gone through. But anyways, this guy isn't even doing the dance, he's just walking all over her.

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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

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Basically you have to define boundaries: what is acceptable behaviour and what is not from the very beginning. If you don't do it, then you risk poor behaviour from your SO down the line. This guy is behaving this way because OP has given him the impression that she's okay with being treated this way.

I don't believe for one second that his bullshit is newfound. He must've treated her poorly from the beginning and she just failed to set boundaries.
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enlightenedlibra78
@confusedlibra78
11 YearsLibra

Comments: 0 · Posts: 472 · Topics: 19
Posted by DonJohn
i'll speak for the cancer man.



dude's going with another girl. you are not his priority.



cancer men are passive aggressive in relationships. we don't really want you anymore, we will forget bday gifts and to call you.



the fact is cancer men have great memories. he is passive aggressively letting you know it's over from my perspective.



btw my advice is to always salvage a relationship. you can see my history of relationship advice here. but when he is that careless and clearly does not put you as a priority, then it's over. in his mind already.
He definitely didn't go with another girl. The guy who he went with, whom I've met, posted a pic on FB.

I'm definitely in agreement that he thinks or wants it to be over in some part of him, but what I don't understand is why not just end it. Why ask me to come see him every waking moment that I can. I never have to put forth any effort to see him, he always asks me to come and gets pouty when I can't or don't.
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enlightenedlibra78
@confusedlibra78
11 YearsLibra

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Posted by DivaCanLeo
Posted by confusedlibra78
Posted by DivaCanLeo
That would piss me off

That game is going to be a classic

But maybe he just couldn't afford a ticket for you and his friend is paying for his own ticket.
He spends an inordinate amount of time bragging about how much money he has. He also knows that I just got a bunch of money because my car was totaled. That's not it. It's something else.
Well I see you're 38.

Goodbye to fukboys.

Don't you have kids? Would it have been easy to find babysitters in short time?

click to expand

I have one kid and he's with his dad every weekend, all weekend so it wouldn't have been an issue. My boyfriend knows that because we spend EVERY weekend together. Except this one due to the ice.
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enlightenedlibra78
@confusedlibra78
11 YearsLibra

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Posted by Bricks195
Posted by DivaCanLeo
Giants are getting spanked.

It's the Cancer guy. He's a jinx. A passive-aggressive jinx.
click to expand

Haha! It's funny, we went to a Knicks game recently and he said I was his good luck charm because every game he's taken me to, our team has either won or come close. Guess he should have taken me to this one, lol.

But yes, he's super passive-aggressive. It's sad.
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enlightenedlibra78
@confusedlibra78
11 YearsLibra

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Posted by rabidtalker
Is this the guy who owns the bar who didnt want the relationship but had to be convinced from the very beginning?


He didn't have to be convinced. He's always been the one who asked me to see him and got mad at me when I didn't go to see him once. He said I never made time for him and I nicely pointed out that unless I was at work or with my son, I was with him. However, it took him 5 months or so, maybe 6, before he called me his girlfriend and someone had to ask him and he joked about it before saying it seriously. Everything is a joke with him. I've never seen someone more avoidant of life. He's so smart and funny but wastes his life drinking, smoking and getting high on weed. For the record, I have no problem with any of those things but he's an addict and I do have an issue with that
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enlightenedlibra78
@confusedlibra78
11 YearsLibra

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Posted by TheCanBull
This guy is just a cunt... nothing to do with being a Cancerian.

One thing you will come to find with Cancer men is that a lot of them have not evolved, are living a delusional life style because they are what they are.

Cancer is feminine energy, they don't know yet how to use it or channel it correctly, and just act like dicks and try to follow some vision of a male.

A Cancerian male can be an ultimate Alpha male too, but people these days follow a stereotype and it leads them nowhere.
Yeah, I just mentioned to another poster that he's so funny and smart but spends his life drinking, smoking and getting high. He's 33. At some point you have to grow up.

He also pulls the dominant male crap all the time. He threatened a guy at the bar who was talking to me. That's all the guy was doing but he loudly, in front of the whole bar, told the guy to stop talking to his girlfriend and get the fuck out
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tcta
@tcta
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Posted by Librajean
Posted by confusedlibra78
Posted by Gemitati
Are you really hurt?
I will take that as you are genuinely asking and not being a dick. Yes, I'm fucking hurt. Not being important to someone that you care about hurts, a lot
He sounds completely immature and thinks you will put up with his shenanigans. I say get him back..start doing things without him. Ps. Try not to be too hurt, these aholes really don't care. Until it's over...

They are like children.

click to expand

I agree. And you can't change people. Best to cut out and be alone and happy until you meet someone that will treat you like he wants to be with you and that you are special to him.
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tcta
@tcta
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Posted by confusedlibra78
Posted by TheCanBull
This guy is just a cunt... nothing to do with being a Cancerian.

One thing you will come to find with Cancer men is that a lot of them have not evolved, are living a delusional life style because they are what they are.

Cancer is feminine energy, they don't know yet how to use it or channel it correctly, and just act like dicks and try to follow some vision of a male.

A Cancerian male can be an ultimate Alpha male too, but people these days follow a stereotype and it leads them nowhere.
Yeah, I just mentioned to another poster that he's so funny and smart but spends his life drinking, smoking and getting high. He's 33. At some point you have to grow up.

He also pulls the dominant male crap all the time. He threatened a guy at the bar who was talking to me. That's all the guy was doing but he loudly, in front of the whole bar, told the guy to stop talking to his girlfriend and get the fuck out
click to expand

not right - you can find better ... ghost him and don't give in when he comes whining - cause they always do ...
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tcta
@tcta
10 Years5,000+ Posts

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Posted by TheCanBull
Posted by AdmiraI
Posted by TheCanBull
This guy is just a cunt... nothing to do with being a Cancerian.

One thing you will come to find with Cancer men is that a lot of them have not evolved, are living a delusional life style because they are what they are.

Cancer is feminine energy, they don't know yet how to use it or channel it correctly, and just act like dicks and try to follow some vision of a male.

A Cancerian male can be an ultimate Alpha male too, but people these days follow a stereotype and it leads them nowhere.
The word Alpha male is redundant and completely meaningless, especially for humans. Well at least modern humans.
An Alpha is the right guy in the woman's eyes.. Alpha is not a fixed thing, and meh to being too Alpha.. that's shit.

click to expand

well whatever he is, he is not "alpha" ... the behavior that she describes is not "alpha"

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Lifelong Cat Lady
@nikkistar
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Man, I don't know if its because I am less sensitive about stuff, but I don't understand why you are so mad.

Posted by confusedlibra78
I have one kid and he's with his dad every weekend, all weekend so it wouldn't have been an issue. My boyfriend knows that because we spend EVERY weekend together. Except this one due to the ice.


You are now saying he spends every weekend with you, but now you are pissed off that he decided to go to a game last minute with a friend without asking you? But he only made these plans AFTER you canceled. To me, he has nothing to apologize for. Him and his friend last minute decided to drive up to see the game, instead of wasting the weekend and the free ticket. You already said you couldn't come up, so why should he ask you to go? All of his plans didn't happen, so he made new ones. You aren't his mom, and you shouldn't require him to ask permission. Especially given it isn't even a big deal, its him going to a game with his friend. He was probably super excited about actually being able to attend when he thought he couldn't. Now he had someone willing to drive, and to half his expenses to boot, since he is very conscious about money.

I don't logically comprehend how him going to a game equates to him not making you a priority.
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enlightenedlibra78
@confusedlibra78
11 YearsLibra

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Posted by nikkistar
Man, I don't know if its because I am less sensitive about stuff, but I don't understand why you are so mad.

Posted by confusedlibra78
I have one kid and he's with his dad every weekend, all weekend so it wouldn't have been an issue. My boyfriend knows that because we spend EVERY weekend together. Except this one due to the ice.


You are now saying he spends every weekend with you, but now you are pissed off that he decided to go to a game last minute with a friend without asking you? But he only made these plans AFTER you canceled. To me, he has nothing to apologize for. Him and his friend last minute decided to drive up to see the game, instead of wasting the weekend and the free ticket. You already said you couldn't come up, so why should he ask you to go? All of his plans didn't happen, so he made new ones. You aren't his mom, and you shouldn't require him to ask permission. Especially given it isn't even a big deal, its him going to a game with his friend. He was probably super excited about actually being able to attend when he thought he couldn't. Now he had someone willing to drive, and to half his expenses to boot, since he is very conscious about money.

I don't logically comprehend how him going to a game equates to him not making you a priority.

click to expand

Because this is a pattern with him. He's done similar things multiple times before. He's told me that he's going to take me to his favorite restaurant multiple times, never has but has taken other people. He told me he was taking me to a baseball game and that we'd go into the dugout. He made a point to tell me he always keeps his promises. Never happened. He was going to take me to a Giants game for my birthday, backed out 2 weeks before. He didn't get me anything for Christmas, didn't even acknowledge it with a card. When we were in NY we had made plans to go to a really nice restaurant for lunch and he slept through it. We spend 98% of the time at his bar or at his place hanging out. Then other day I asked him to go somewhere with me because I was uncomfortable going alone (I felt unsafe). Got to his place and he was asleep.

After being with a husband for 18 years who didn't make me a priority, it's just tiresome behavior. And no man ever has to ask me permission for anything. I'm not that woman. However, the Giants are my absolute favorite team, he knows that, he didn't even bother to call to tell me. Again, it's not that I couldn't go it's that he didn't even let me know. He could have just called to say hey I've got some great news I'm going with a friend, something. Instead he waited till he was on the road and then told me.

If you can't see why this doesn't show how he doesn't make me a priority, maybe you should date him. Sounds like you'd be perfect for each other.
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HarleyTwinFlame
@HarleyTwinFlame
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 96 · Posts: 1833 · Topics: 28
Maybe he just wanted a guy only thing... but he's still petty as hell... he could've told you from the beginning that he wanted to go with his friends, and I'm sure you'd be okay with that right?

It's the fact that he try to hide it from you that you're upset about?

@confusedlibra78

Maybe also, since you guys spend every weekend together he just wanted to be with the guys... I don't think it's because he doesn't have an interest but everyone even clingy crabs need space.. hes still a douche though for the record.
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enlightenedlibra78
@confusedlibra78
11 YearsLibra

Comments: 0 · Posts: 472 · Topics: 19
Posted by tnmnt
Posted by confusedlibra78
Posted by nikkistar
Man, I don't know if its because I am less sensitive about stuff, but I don't understand why you are so mad.

Posted by confusedlibra78
I have one kid and he's with his dad every weekend, all weekend so it wouldn't have been an issue. My boyfriend knows that because we spend EVERY weekend together. Except this one due to the ice.


You are now saying he spends every weekend with you, but now you are pissed off that he decided to go to a game last minute with a friend without asking you? But he only made these plans AFTER you canceled. To me, he has nothing to apologize for. Him and his friend last minute decided to drive up to see the game, instead of wasting the weekend and the free ticket. You already said you couldn't come up, so why should he ask you to go? All of his plans didn't happen, so he made new ones. You aren't his mom, and you shouldn't require him to ask permission. Especially given it isn't even a big deal, its him going to a game with his friend. He was probably super excited about actually being able to attend when he thought he couldn't. Now he had someone willing to drive, and to half his expenses to boot, since he is very conscious about money.

I don't logically comprehend how him going to a game equates to him not making you a priority.


Because this is a pattern with him. He's done similar things multiple times before. He's told me that he's going to take me to his favorite restaurant multiple times, never has but has taken other people. He told me he was taking me to a baseball game and that we'd go into the dugout. He made a point to tell me he always keeps his promises. Never happened. He was going to take me to a Giants game for my birthday, backed out 2 weeks before. He didn't get me anything for Christmas, didn't even acknowledge it with a card. When we were in NY we had made plans to go to a really nice restaurant for lunch and he slept through it. We spend 98% of the time at his bar or at his place hanging out. Then other day I asked him to go somewhere with me because I was uncomfortable going alone (I felt unsafe). Got to his place and he was asleep.

After being with a husband for 18 years who didn't make me a priority, it's just tiresome behavior. And no man ever has to ask me permission for anything. I'm not that woman. However, the Giants are my absolute favorite team, he knows that, he didn't even bother to call to tell me. Again, it's not that I couldn't go it's that he didn't even let me know. He could have just called to say hey I've got some great news I'm going with a friend, something. Instead he waited till he was on the road and then told me.

If you can't see why this doesn't show how he doesn't make me a priority, maybe you should date him. Sounds like you'd be perfect for each other.
From what you say, it's not that he doesn't make you a priority, he doesn't consider you at all...

It's funny because I dated a Libra who was doing the same exact things to me.

He's just not that into you and he's taking advantage of your availability.

The way you feel now will be a frequent visitor.

Either you respect yourself enough to leave, or you learn to accept this feeling and compromise.
click to expand

No, it's all about him. I thought my ex Sag husband was selfish...this guy takes the cake.

I can't accept it. I have to leave. How do I do it, though? He can be downright mean to others.
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