Why is this cancer man in love with someone else?
This topic was created in the Cancer forum by marie123 on Thursday, November 29, 2012 and has 20 replies.
Ive spent the last year proving i can be everything he needs. until he met this girl that ended up dating his bestfriend matt at the same time. And still today she dates them both back and fourth and they are so in love with her. When i see my cancer man i can tell he feels sympathy for me but has no interest in talking to me. I get it hard to get, but thats alittle much with his best friend. She's at matt's house at night and my cancer's during the day.
Ive spent the last year proving i can be everything he needs. until he met this girl that ended up dating his bestfriend matt at the same time. And still today she dates them both back and fourth and they are so in love with her. When i see my cancer man i can tell he feels sympathy for me but has no interest in talking to me. I get it hard to get, but thats alittle much with his best friend. She's at matt's house at night and my cancer's during the day.
"proving" reeks of desperation and that can turn a man totally off because there is no challenge involved thus some men lose interest in the easy to get woman (not easy sexually but just easy to obtain her heart).
She's hard to get as in she's not prioritizing any one man which makes her much more appealing, the competition between him and his friend is creating a challenging dynamic because the more they compete to win her heart the more engaged and involved they become and if this goes on long enough they both begin to fall in love (what they perceive to be feelings of love) because that's what chasing evolves into FALLING in love, it's the challenge and chasing that evolves into falling in love thus if you were the one doing all of the chasing then he was never falling in love with you, quite to the contrary you were the one falling in love because you were the one doing all of the work (his work) making it easy for him in hope that he would see how great you are and feel something for you and love for a man doesn't work that way, trying to prove your good enough simply won't work with a man (least not long term).
If you have to prove something to a man then you are working against your own best interest because approval seek says to a man you aren't good enough out the gate thus he's going to seek for something he perceives to be of value by looking for another woman, he might take advantage of your approval seeking but once someone he perceives to be of more value comes along he's gone.
You're in love because you chased him, the one chasing is the one investing and the one investing is the one forming a bond/attachment which evolves into love/falling in love, the one investing all of there energy into courting, chasing, proving is the one falling in love, it's nature, the law of attraction.
She's hard to get as in she's not prioritizing any one man which makes her much more appealing, the competition between him and his friend is creating a challenging dynamic because the more they compete to win her heart the more engaged and involved they become and if this goes on long enough they both begin to fall in love (what they perceive to be feelings of love) because that's what chasing evolves into FALLING in love, it's the challenge and chasing that evolves into falling in love thus if you were the one doing all of the chasing then he was never falling in love with you, quite to the contrary you were the one falling in love because you were the one doing all of the work (his work) making it easy for him in hope that he would see how great you are and feel something for you and love for a man doesn't work that way, trying to prove your good enough simply won't work with a man (least not long term).
If you have to prove something to a man then you are working against your own best interest because approval seek says to a man you aren't good enough out the gate thus he's going to seek for something he perceives to be of value by looking for another woman, he might take advantage of your approval seeking but once someone he perceives to be of more value comes along he's gone.
You're in love because you chased him, the one chasing is the one investing and the one investing is the one forming a bond/attachment which evolves into love/falling in love, the one investing all of there energy into courting, chasing, proving is the one falling in love, it's nature, the law of attraction.
WOW they are sharing her. And have no problem doing so. I love DXP.
Let this be a lesson to all the women confused/being blown off by a guy.
They will pursue and put up with the most indecent crap from a woman IF they are "INTO" her.
Sounds like you should be watching her carefully to figure out how to attract the type of guy you want.
Do you know her sign and that of the other guy?
Tiki is correct!
Let this be a lesson to all the women confused/being blown off by a guy.
They will pursue and put up with the most indecent crap from a woman IF they are "INTO" her.
Sounds like you should be watching her carefully to figure out how to attract the type of guy you want.
Do you know her sign and that of the other guy?
Tiki is correct!
Posted by tiki33
You're in love because you chased him, the one chasing is the one investing and the one investing is the one forming a bond/attachment which evolves into love/falling in love, the one investing all of there energy into courting, chasing, proving is the one falling in love, it's nature, the law of attraction.
*golden*
This should be engraved on a plaque. I love this.
Posted by Claro de LunaPosted by LunarMaiden
WOW they are sharing her. And have no problem doing so. I love DXP.
Let this be a lesson to all the women confused/being blown off by a guy.
They will pursue and put up with the most indecent crap from a woman IF they are "INTO" her.
Sounds like you should be watching her carefully to figure out how to attract the type of guy you want.
Do you know her sign and that of the other guy?
Tiki is correct!
Is the bolded part some form of sarcasm or are you being serious?click to expand
I don't know a bit of both maybe.
I think she could learn something from her but not exactly do what she is doing.
Pretty much what Tiki was saying.
But if the girl dating the two guys has no commitment to either and is open about it with both of them isn't that okay?
For me it is at least. Also it seems better than practically committing yourself to someone for a year who is dating other people.
Also why is the guy a donkey?
Did he make promises to the OP he didn't keep and lead her on or does she like him but he just doesn't feel the same way?
For me it is at least. Also it seems better than practically committing yourself to someone for a year who is dating other people.
Also why is the guy a donkey?
Did he make promises to the OP he didn't keep and lead her on or does she like him but he just doesn't feel the same way?
Posted by virgodreamz
But if the girl dating the two guys has no commitment to either and is open about it with both of them isn't that okay?
For me it is at least. Also it seems better than practically committing yourself to someone for a year who is dating other people.
Also why is the guy a donkey?
Did he make promises to the OP he didn't keep and lead her on or does she like him but he just doesn't feel the same way?
word
Posted by LunarMaiden
WOW they are sharing her. And have no problem doing so. I love DXP.
Let this be a lesson to all the women confused/being blown off by a guy.
They will pursue and put up with the most indecent crap from a woman IF they are "INTO" her.
Sounds like you should be watching her carefully to figure out how to attract the type of guy you want.
Do you know her sign and that of the other guy?
Tiki is correct!
And she still wants a guy like that...what does that tell you about how far women can go when they're INTO a guy...
. Works both ways honey...
Posted by marie123
Ive spent the last year proving i can be everything he needs. until he met this girl that ended up dating his bestfriend matt at the same time. And still today she dates them both back and fourth and they are so in love with her. When i see my cancer man i can tell he feels sympathy for me but has no interest in talking to me. I get it hard to get, but thats alittle much with his best friend. She's at matt's house at night and my cancer's during the day.
I think you should join in and make the threesome a foursome...
Posted by shellshockerPosted by virgodreamz
But if the girl dating the two guys has no commitment to either and is open about it with both of them isn't that okay?
For me it is at least. Also it seems better than practically committing yourself to someone for a year who is dating other people.
Also why is the guy a donkey?
Did he make promises to the OP he didn't keep and lead her on or does she like him but he just doesn't feel the same way?
wordclick to expand
The Cancers & Virgos can agree! hehe
Posted by incandescentcancerPosted by LunarMaiden
WOW they are sharing her. And have no problem doing so. I love DXP.
Let this be a lesson to all the women confused/being blown off by a guy.
They will pursue and put up with the most indecent crap from a woman IF they are "INTO" her.
Sounds like you should be watching her carefully to figure out how to attract the type of guy you want.
Do you know her sign and that of the other guy?
Tiki is correct!
And she still wants a guy like that...what does that tell you about how far women can go when they're INTO a guy...click to expand
Based on the numerous threads by women on this site, it's pretty obvious what women will put with darling.
Posted by Claro de LunaPosted by LunarMaidenPosted by Claro de LunaPosted by LunarMaiden
WOW they are sharing her. And have no problem doing so. I love DXP.
Let this be a lesson to all the women confused/being blown off by a guy.
They will pursue and put up with the most indecent crap from a woman IF they are "INTO" her.
Sounds like you should be watching her carefully to figure out how to attract the type of guy you want.
Do you know her sign and that of the other guy?
Tiki is correct!
Is the bolded part some form of sarcasm or are you being serious?
I don't know a bit of both maybe.
I think she could learn something from her but not exactly do what she is doing.
Pretty much what Tiki was saying.
(Trying again ..)
I think I know what you mean, just wondering lol.
But then she might end up with two guys like those two jellyfish, instead of one decent guy, which is what I was thinking.
I know what you mean though I think. To check her for tips just a little bit, to contrast from gaining attention from guys and not doing.
But I still think that's a bad idea to some extent. I think a guy who will be more decent, stable and strong will be more likely to be appreciative of her attention whereas those who don't deserve it won't be (in many cases). These guys are settling for dribs and drabs from a girl who is putting herself around who they are both apparently in love with, so the strength of character of these guys is lacking for a start and hers is the type of behaviour that is attracting this type.
Also, what tikki says is true, but only 50% of the time. None of it is gospel. Many cancerian men on this site have admitted to enjoying it when the woman makes the majority of the moves.click to expand
I'm not saying she should check her or ask her for anything, just to keep her eyes and ears open.
And I'm not saying she should sleep around.
However, I do feel women should date in multiples. Notice I said date, not sleep with them.
Keeping options open and emotions in check until she finds someone who is right for her.
Her horoscope sign is a gemini, and its ridiculous they way they fight over her. i went to the club lastweek not knowing all 3 of them would be there. she apparently works at the club but they both went to see her.. matt was buying her drinks and being sweet so my cancer man lost it and started breaking bottles in the club and screaming at her for talking to him, but she acted all innocent and said " i love you, dont worry" thats what she said to BOTH of them.
Posted by marie123
Her horoscope sign is a gemini, and its ridiculous they way they fight over her. i went to the club lastweek not knowing all 3 of them would be there. she apparently works at the club but they both went to see her.. matt was buying her drinks and being sweet so my cancer man lost it and started breaking bottles in the club and screaming at her for talking to him, but she acted all innocent and said " i love you, dont worry" thats what she said to BOTH of them.
How old are these kids?
were all 21 ..
Wow... yeah, you need to move on. He obviosuly doesnt care about your feelings cus hes too busy drooling over some bitch whos playing them both. Believe me its more about who will win between the two guys more than anything, theyll both realize how it wasnt worth it and how much of a whorebag the bitch was being.
Move on. You deserve a smooth sailing relationship with none of this trouble to worry about.
Move on. You deserve a smooth sailing relationship with none of this trouble to worry about.
and when you do find the guy that thinks youre worth his time, the guy youve been chasing will realize what an idiot he was because he lost a good thing.
Thanks so much! its just been troubling me that one girl can control their minds with a snap of a finger and then they complain "there no good girls out there" I just laugh.
Honestly when Cancer's act this way its because they for sure know that they are not compatible enough with someone to spend the day to day grind with them. We hate being a dick/bitch like this but we really exhausted all the options trying to justify it in our mind. I think we are very similar to a Virgo in this except we will keep leading you on just to see if the situation ever changes.
I have had this Leo woman chasing me for years and I basically tell her that I can't be with her because she has kids with a dude that is pure trash and will be in the kids lives and I would have to deal with it on a weekly basis.
I finally told her, I would happily be with you if you could kill you baby's daddy or he somehow die so I can fully be a father to your kids. That is the only way I could be comfortable with it.
I have had this Leo woman chasing me for years and I basically tell her that I can't be with her because she has kids with a dude that is pure trash and will be in the kids lives and I would have to deal with it on a weekly basis.
I finally told her, I would happily be with you if you could kill you baby's daddy or he somehow die so I can fully be a father to your kids. That is the only way I could be comfortable with it.
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