Advice About Cappy Male....

I'm new to dxp and thought I would give it a try in hopes of gaining better insight. I (a female Scorp, age 29) was recently reconnected with a male Cappy who was an acquaintance from the past. We reunited on a social networking site. We spoke for several weeks via online and texts. We established that there was enough of a connection through conversation that we should meet in person. This past Saturday we went to lunch. He was a complete gentleman with a touch of witty sarcasm. He found little excuses to be touch feely. He made mention that he felt that I might have been a little guarded. He also indicated that he was not in a relationship because he has not found a woman recently who has made him want to be in a relationship. He also said that he moves slow because when he falls, he falls hard. Towards the end of lunch, he asked if we would do this again soon and asked that I contact him later. I did by texting him later that evening thanking him for lunch and telling him that I had a good time. He said he enjoyed himself as well. Since that communication, we have not spoken.

I was wondering if our minimal conversation is an indication of his lack of interest despite him saying that he wanted to see me again soon...maybe he said that just to be polite? Or, is the lack of communication over the last couple of days maybe a result of him moving slowly? Also, should I be a little more aggressive and/or open with him or allow him to pursue me?

Thanks so much for reading and your advice!

Oh nooooo here we go, another Scorpio Cap situation.

No doesnt mean he is not interested, thats what Caps do....he is not used to calling and texting everyday. He is probably thinking about the whole experience while working obsessively.

Expect more of that btw. Just relax relate release and do you like you normally did before you met him. Don't have any expectations and be fun and fabulous.

Nothing wrong with texting to say wassup, but if he doesnt respond, just leave it alone, but he wouldnt say he is interested to be polite. If he's into he is but he is not gonna make you the center of attention all of a sudden.

Its because he is moving slow. Thats what caps do.

Just- thank you for your advice. That's what I thought but just wanted to get a different perspective. I am not used to men who operate like him. But I can't lie he does have my attention.

Cappy - I am not sure if his Venus is in Aquarius. Maybe if him and I get close enough I will ask him what time he was born to try and figure it out.

What the hell, ask him out. He's interested.

Groan...another Scorpio female/Capricorn male thread. Whadiditellya?

Jeebus! With all the reputation for being drop dead sexy, alluring , femme fatale blahblahblah, WHY do scorp females repeatedly keep going for The Devil?
http://ocean1025.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/devil-tarot2.jpg<BR> when you can have any one else you want!

Lots of fish out there for you. Wait, was that a pisces joke? "Fish". Geddit? Ha ha ha! Ho Ho!.....ahem....*cough*

* caffeine withdrawal symptoms. Must replenish caffeine in bloodstream*

Pathfindr - Ask him out—? Hmm... Well, we just went out on Saturday. Should I ask him out already? AND if he wanted to go out, wouldnt he ask me? I dont get it. Lol. Maybe, I am missing something here.

Beowulf - I will check the link that you provided out.

So, I take it there have been alot of Scopr/Cap connections as of lately. Lol. Any success stories? Lol.

Lol @ Beowulf!!! The devil?!?! They arent THAT BAD, are they? I dated a Sag waayyy back when. I thought HE was the Devil! Sags and Gems!!! UGH!

The date was Saturday? Its only been a few days. Not enough time to start jumping to any conclusions.


I don't suggest you ask him out on a date just as yet either, but that's just my opinion.

M - No one?! Gesh! Lol. I know myself. I am a Scorp. Us Scorp woman CAN become obsessive, controlling and pushy if we are not careful and real with ourselves about ourselves and the situation. There is a thin a line between demonstrating attraction and interest to make the man feel at ease in pursuing...to motivate him to pursue opposed to chasing a man. I do not want to cross that line into the later. I am oblidged to feel that no man wants to be chased regardless of the sign unless there is something wrong with him. Lol. I am just scared to not create a balance and not go into chasing mode....

My intuition is telling me that he is interested, however, at some points I doubt that because I am not used to someone behaving like this. Unless, of course, they really werent interested. In which case it was made very clear. Hmm...

Posted by MsPisces.
The date was Saturday? Its only been a few days. Not enough time to start jumping to any conclusions.


I don't suggest you ask him out on a date just as yet either, but that's just my opinion.

I agree...Give it time, of course if he takes 8 weeks or longer to get back in contact with you well that's a bit questionable. The date went well, he responded yet I wonder why he couldn't lead, meaning why he couldn't follow up with a text after the date but in turn put you in the lead position by asking you to contact him and he respond like he's a girl.

A man gotta be a man and do his part or it's just going to not be all that great for the woman because the inevitable result is the woman questioning and wondering if he's interested when in reality if he was doing his part, leading well you would never have to ask the question what's going on with him because he would be the one leading and you would be the one showing enough indicators of interest which should inspire him to follow up but Cap men are strangely slow...Maybe that's why he's single, treating women that are top of the line lamborghini's like Yugo's.

Good luck

lol. i love scorpio women for this reason.

caps are naturally slow moving....im the excuse i think. aqua in venus...heh you may have a problem. just hope he isnt. not impossible i think, being i am one myself but its dormant. i can actually commit to one woman if she felt the same. just im the type who likes multiple women at one time but once commited its just her. also lots of chick friends. but yeah...to soon for another date. ask if he is free next weekend or when you both have time. if you injoyed it the first time im sure he is up for a nother lunch. maybe even dinner. but i think this is the guy roll...to ask you out. but dont be afraid to ask. i doubt asking would hurt anything at all. look at me giving advice to a woman senior than me, lol. sorry if im goin over board dear. i wish you the best though.

Ms Pices and Tiki - Thanks for the advice. Yes, I think I am going to hold off before I bring up going out agian. In fact, he just said hello to me online. So, we will see what he has to say. But I will hold off for a bit and allow him to take the lead...to see what he does.

Thanks for the advice Happy Cappy!

Quiet Storm - Did your relationship with your Cap move slow at first?

Posted by QuietSt0rm

Posted by ScorpieLove25


Quiet Storm - Did your relationship with your Cap move slow at first?

Like watching paint dry on a wall. LOL But trust me, patience has its rewards. And every step of the way, as slow as it was, there was increments of progress. You'll know whether it's moving forward or not.

Beware of your scorpio insecurity though. That's our biggest downfall.

click to expand

Yes! I am feeling insecure and thrown off becasue I am not used to a man not chasing me down like a dog. Lol. I am questioning things that I am typically very sure about. Ugh. He is sending me messages via Facebook but I am not sure if he is communicating NOW because he is interested or becasue he is at work and might be bored. Lol.

Posted by CappyyLuv30
If his Venus is in Aqua too, I'll barf.

ROFL

😄 😄 😄

Posted by CapGal
Scorpie, just forget the effing rules! If you have somewhere interesting to go and want some company, then throw out an invite to the cappy. If he says no, then simply ask someone else...male or female/family or friend. Continue to live your life without making him a priority.....until he proves otherwise.

Yes, yes... you are right. I think I was getting a little Scorp crazy because I was off work for the weekend. Lol. Now, I am back at work and do not have an excuse to obssess. Lol. It's odd. Although, the Cap IS attractive he is not my type. He is shorter and a little rounder than what I usually date. But there is something so very alluring about him. And the sexual (ahem..excuse me) chemistry...is crazy. We did not do anything on Saturday other than hug, but I could stil feel a strong chemistry. Hmm....

Posted by ScorpieLove25

Posted by QuietSt0rm

Posted by ScorpieLove25


Quiet Storm - Did your relationship with your Cap move slow at first?

Like watching paint dry on a wall. LOL But trust me, patience has its rewards. And every step of the way, as slow as it was, there was increments of progress. You'll know whether it's moving forward or not.

Beware of your scorpio insecurity though. That's our biggest downfall.

Yes! I am feeling insecure and thrown off becasue I am not used to a man not chasing me down like a dog. Lol. I am questioning things that I am typically very sure about. Ugh. He is sending me messages via Facebook but I am not sure if he is communicating NOW because he is interested or becasue he is at work and might be bored. Lol.

click to expand

Try not to let your insecurities take over and overwhelm you...Relax...If he's initiating communication he's interested. He will ask you out again, give him time to do it. He's going to feel you out to make sure your not emotionally unstable/psycho first before he put his cards on the table. Be confident...You got this

Posted by QuietSt0rm
They're sometimes very passive in the beginning. My cap wasn't as persistent as other men but he did do all of the initiating as far as asking me out. I was fresh out of a relationship with my pisces ex, so my cap was respectful of that and took it really slow, which was what I needed at that time. He also would tell me he missed me if we hadn't seen each other in a while but his cancer moon makes him one of the more expressive types.

Next time you talk, casually ask him his b'day so you can find out his chart. You can learn so much more from someones chart beyond just their sun sign.

I know his birthday is December 26. But I dont know what time he was born. Will that affect getting his chart?

CapGirl - We did NOT do anything. But beleive you me, the thought DID cross my mind! Lol. I am much too shy to initiate anything like that anyway. I talk a good game...but its all talk. Lol. Dec 26 men are devils!? Oh no! Dont say that. Lol. I hope I can trust is more thoughtful. Hmmm...

amethyst2002 - I will read around to gain a better perspective. Thanks for the FYI. Sorry to add fuel to the fire with my post.... I just wanted to get some feedback from folks who are little better acquainted with Caps than I am as I really do not know anyone (closely) who is a Cap.

Quiet - Thanks! He was born in 1980. I am going to look into it right now. Lol.

My chart:
Sun Scorpio 2.17
Moon Libra 9.19
Mercury Libra 18.30 R
Venus Sagittarius 18.37
Mars Virgo 2.45
Jupiter Libra 23.17
Saturn Libra 15.14
Uranus Scorpio 28.43
Neptune Sagittarius 22.50
Pluto Libra 24.37
Lilith Sagittarius 3.27
Asc node Cancer 26.22

His Chart:
Sun Capricorn 5.14
Moon Virgo 8.05
Mercury Capricorn 2.36
Venus Sagittarius 10.42
Mars Capricorn 26.48
Jupiter Libra 9.06
Saturn Libra 9.19
Uranus Scorpio 28.09
Neptune Sagittarius 22.53
Pluto Libra 24.05
Lilith Libra 29.42
Asc node Leo

Im going to look into what allthis means. Lol.

Venus in Sag... hm.. am curious if upcoming threads will be on Scorp ladies versus Caps with Venus in Sags 😛

it would be interesting to see the outcome.


I agree, don't ask him out first. Let him.

He wouldn't write you if not interested... so it is not because he feels bored at work.

He is still young without too much damage... i hope it works out for both.

FUMred - Thanks! Yes I am inclined to think that he is intereste,just going about it in a way that I am not accostum to.

amethyst2002 - I am reading some of the posts and pulling out my hair as I go! Lol.

Lol @ Elle. Ok, now I am scared! What is with these men?? Lol.

Thanks CapGirl! Lol. 🙂

Oooh OK thanks Elle! Well he just told me that he is very attracted to me and then proceeded to give me advice about not co-signing for my cousin to get a car. Which I was not going to do to begin with. Before I could tell him that I was not planning to do it, he started going on and on about why I should not do it and the consequences. All of which I already knew but I did not tell him that. I acted like he was a genius. Lol.

Lmao@Elle. From what I have read, these Cap men are a trip! I think it is important for a woman to be secure within herself and have her OWN life when dealing with these suckers, which women should have both anyway. Luckily, I do. I just have to gain control over MYSELF (not him) and take it from there. I say that now... Lol. Wish me luck!

Purple - Wow, thanks for the insight. Didnt know that!

OK. This Cap is crazy!! He just tells me via online that he has a "perverted attraction to me" then he goes on to say, "that he wants to see how crazy he can drive me and how far out of my shell he can push me". WTF!?!!? OK. So this man wants me to be his little sexual experiment!?!? Um no! I dont think so! I dont just go aroun having sex with folks all willy nilly. Is he nuts! When he first said he was attracted to me I knew some of it was sexually but I was hoping that there was also a mental attraction. A man can be sexually attracted to amlost anything!

M - No birth times. 😢 I cant beleive he said that. He is a jokster but I know alot of that was rooted in truth. I also know that he is very sexually expressive and can get a little kinky. I suppose that is a geenral rule for most men... I just dont like that he is ONLY attracted to me in that way. 😢 I dont know how to take it...

Posted by PurpleDiamond
Well he's telling you what he wants FWB so now the question is what do you want?

I dont want to be FWB at all. I told him that when we first began talking. I dont necessarily need to be in a rushed relationship that happens over night. But I definitely do not want to be FWB. He told me that when he is sexually active with a woman he is always exclusive to that woman. Hmm... But like you said, what he just said to me does not indicate that!

Posted by ScorpieLove25
OK. This Cap is crazy!! He just tells me via online that he has a "perverted attraction to me" then he goes on to say, "that he wants to see how crazy he can drive me and how far out of my shell he can push me". WTF!?!!? OK. So this man wants me to be his little sexual experiment!?!? Um no! I dont think so! I dont just go aroun having sex with folks all willy nilly. Is he nuts! When he first said he was attracted to me I knew some of it was sexually but I was hoping that there was also a mental attraction. A man can be sexually attracted to amlost anything!

I'm really slow today....Were exactly did he say perverted attraction meant sexual? I ask because he made the statement I want to see how crazy he can drive you (head games) and how far out your shell he can push you (more head games), I'm not thinking sexual unless of course he said it was sexual I wouldn't make that assumption if that were me.

Welp he's upfront. Can't hate on that. Like PD says, there's only two ways to handle this.

Purple - Very true. In this case, I will have to gracefully decline.

Tiki and M - He said that he wants to see how "freaky" I can get. That is where I got the sexual part from.

lnana04 - Very true and at the end of the day I DO appreciate his honesty.

Freaky as in sexual freaky or freaky as in I'm going to see how crazy I can make you feel until you feel like a freak? Okay I'm being slow again LOL

Lol. Umm freaky as in sexually freaky. Lol.

LOL okay I'm making sure, thanks for clarifying (:

He can talk about sex all he wants, that doesn't mean he's getting it from you *shrugs*

I wouldn't leave him alone for making that kind of comment but I wouldn't encourage him either...change subject

Thats what I did. I just said, "wouldnt you like to know" and then started talking about work.

I would leave him alone. He is making his intentions extremely clear. No beating around the bush with what he wants from her, and who's to say he's going to stick around after he gets it? That's setting yourself up,,,,if you want something more.

Posted by lnana04
I would leave him alone. He is making his intentions extremely clear. No beating around the bush with what he wants from her, and who's to say he's going to stick around after he gets it? That's setting yourself up,,,,if you want something more.

Scorpio's do what they want despite the odds or intentions of others. I doubt if she leave him alone but certainly talking about sex so early on before getting to know her is a huge indication of his intent whether she pays attention or not to that intent is up to her.

I hope you know what you want or this could end in disappointment for you....

Good suggestion Inana, I hope she listens

Update: So he made some small talk type of comments and I did not respond. Then he asked why Iwas quiet. I told him that I am busy at work and really have nothing to say right now. He asked why and I told him that I didnt feel comfortable with the comment about sex. That I understand we are human and most of us (at some point) are aroused by one another (its human nature). However, I am looking for something a little more substanitive. He said that he didnt say that he was only looking for that in me. I told him that it is OK. No worries. There is just no point in continuing if we are looking for two differnet things. Not wise to waste time. We can agree to just be frioends becasue I do not want to rain on his parade. Then he goes on to say yes he is sexually attracted to me and that is the first thing that most men look at...looks. He also said that if he were only sexually attrected to me, he would not talk to me via online and phone as much, take me out or spend his time giving me advice. He said that he is attracted to me mentally and sexually and that he is interested in me as a person as well as sexually. He said that he appreciates that I am witty and have good convo. I have not responded yet....

I completely agree with PurpleDiamond. He's going to try to switch and flip it up because he know the he messed it up. When they want more they are EXTREMELY cautious with everything they say and do.

Purple - I still have not responded. He keeps sending "?". I did want it, but not RIGHT NOW! Lol. I want it with time when and if the relatioship naturally progresses to that point.

Tiki - Some Scorps might not heed warnings but I do. Lol. I do not want to get hurt or waste my time! I will chill and leave him alone. I'll tell him that it is best that we just be friends... Or, maybe not respond to him at all.

Ummm I somewhat disagree...The thing is ALL men want sex from the jump. He wouldn't of taken her out in the firt place if thats all he wanted, Caps don't waste their time like that.

What I do think is that he felt the sexual tension from the hug & he was getting horny off of it so he tested the waters on it by saying something sexual.

The thing is, she declined and made her point stated, thats too quick for her. Caps will do that drop hints to test the waters & once you decline they won't bring it up again until they get the vibe that you are ready or when its appropriate.

The reprieve is what now, if he continues to talk to her & go on another date then he really interested in her but if its gets cold after this then maybe he was disinterested from the date but wanted to smash and go. But I wouldnt rule him out completely as thats all he want. Its SEX people, its natural, thats what men want ultimately from a woman.

She did the right thing by making him feel stupid for bringing it up...like err? pump ur brakes fella, ya moving too quick!

When you make em wait, thats when they appreciate you more down the line when you give it to them, because they earned your respect.

I actually agree with that too JustSophs. Caps will test the water like crazy, although he was petty bold with it. But if she felt something, then I'm sure he could sense that she was sexually attracted. Caps are good at reading expressions and body language, so maybe you revealed a bit more than you are aware of ScorpieLove.

Posted by ScorpieLove25
... him saying that he wanted to see me again soon...maybe he said that just to be polite? Or, is the lack of communication over the last couple of days maybe a result of him moving slowly? Also, should I be a little more aggressive and/or open with him or allow him to pursue me?

Thanks so much for reading and your advice!

If he said he wanted to see you again, he does. What difference does it make who asks who out? It was Monday when you started this thread. You had just went out on Saturday. He has a job, no? Maybe that is why you did not hear from him. Today is Tuesday. To get a "feel" of things (since you don't want to believe he really wants to see you again...why, I dont' have a clue, but...)
I'd at least text him to ask how his day is going and tell him about yours. Mention you enjoyed yourself on your lunch date and how you look forward to seeing him again (since he said he did). Let him respond....

But don't just ignore him just because you may "think" that is what he is doing to you. Life is too short...

Scorpielove, I posted my comments early... I see he has contacted you. Good. Toldja he was interested... 🙂

Pillow talk, sexting, whatever. He's talking to you. He knows that kind of talk can turn certain women off. If you told him from the start what type of relationship you are looking for, then stick to it. I don't know if he was saying these things to see if you only wanted HIM for sex (no laughing, please!), or were you really interested in HIM being that guy you're looking for in a long term relationship. Does he know you are a scorpio? You'd be surprised what people think of scorpios... all sex, Sex, SEX.

As far as you not telling him you know ALREADY about why shouldn't co-sign on a loan, I would have told him. Him telling you so much could mean that he thinks you are naive and could be a financial risk if he's considering you for the long term. Don't hold back what's on your mind with a cappy or any man! If their egos are fragile, then speak softer, but don't act like you have no common sense or are not Smart. If you have no problems telling him what you want when it comes to your heart, you should be just as bold and serious about how you handle everything else. Let him know you can take of yourself, thank you, and that the main reason he is around is because you LIKE him and want to get to him better, NOT to rescue you from yourSELF.

ok, just saying....

Thanks ladies! He called while I was working out and left a message. He said that he did not mean to make me uncomfortable and apologized. He said that he is interested in me beyond the sexual aspect and asked that I call him back. I have not returned his call. I'm not sure what I am going to do. One thing that I am happy about is that IF I decide to proceed this has been something to make sloooooow all the way down proceed with major caution. Yes I am attracted to him physically. I am still not ready to be intimate and I do not want to go down the road of FWB. And purple, I'm not trying to change him at all. I dont want to change him. Even if I did, I know men cannot be changed. I learned that a long time ago. Lol.

Posted by ScorpieLove25
Thanks ladies! He called while I was working out and left a message. He said that he did not mean to make me uncomfortable and apologized. He said that he is interested in me beyond the sexual aspect and asked that I call him back. I have not returned his call. I'm not sure what I am going to do. One thing that I am happy about is that IF I decide to proceed this has been something to make sloooooow all the way down proceed with major caution. Yes I am attracted to him physically. I am still not ready to be intimate and I do not want to go down the road of FWB. And purple, I'm not trying to change him at all. I dont want to change him. Even if I did, I know men cannot be changed. I learned that a long time ago. Lol.

You should proceed at a pace comfortable to you. If he doesn't like it, he'll step off. If he does like it, be prepared to get the love you deserve. Just make sure you are consistent in your talk and in your walk, because he will notice the difference and use your own inconsistencies for his advantage. You've got to be unique in his eyes. Like you are ONE of a Kind.