Advice needed on Capricorn Man

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by BlondeeTO on Saturday, February 14, 2009 and has 8 replies.
Hey. I am looking for some advice on what to do with the cappy man who has been in my life. I have known him for 10 years casually through mutual friends however, we hooked up last July and things have been nothing but crazy. When we first got together he asked all my friends details about me and my life. Don't really know why cause I thought it was just gonna be a hookup since that is what I wanted. Everytime I told him I wanted to be friends with benefits he didn't want any part of that since he said that wasn't him and when he is with someone that is it. After spending 3 nights a week at his house for months and getting closer and closer he all of a sudden put the brakes on with no word as to why. He really opened up to me and still calls me when he wants to vent or needs advice on anything in his life. Whenever I asked him if we were over he kept telling me no. He said he needed time to deal with his life. He cut back on calling me and seeing me for a few months but is now back in the picture calling and texting sometimes 3-4 times a day. I really care about him as a friend but I don't know if I should run since everytime I pull back from him he seems to come back into my life. I have been nothing but supportive and helpful to him and I know he knows that. Do you think I am wasting my time and effort with this man?
At first I just wanted to b FWBs but then after spending so much time together I started to fall hard for him. He doesn't understand why I get so upset when he goes for so long without contacting me. When he finally comes back into my life he acts like nothing is wrong even though a week or two goes by without hearing from him. He has told me he cares about me but I sometimes wonder if he means it. It seems like I only hear from him when he needs to talk to someone about his problems. He keeps telling me he doesn't want to lose my friendship and that there might be a chance for us in the future when he deals with his issues. I don't know what that means since he is 40 and should kinda know what he wants by now. I have never dated a capricorn before and he has almost all the traits I have been reading about. Should I just have patience with him? I am so confused.
Thanks tiki. You sound like a very smart woman. I have been dating other guys (just no sex as is seems to change everything). When I told him back in December I was going to start dating he didn't think it was a good idea. I told him that if he didn't have time for me that I am sure someone else will and his response was can't you just have patience and let me deal with my issues and give me time (he is going through some serious financial problems). I have also backed off from asking more from him and the funny thing is he is now texting and calling me everyday. Any of the women he has dated in the past never hear from him again after they break up. He hasn't had a serious relationship in 8 years since going through a very bad breakup and I was the longest relationship he had since then. Yesterday he told me I am the only person in his life who has been there and has been supportive of him (even over his family). That is why my head is spinning. He is constantly talking about me to our friends and his family when I am not around. I know that because I have been told by them Yet another thing I don't get. For the past couple of months he has been at my house doing work for me and when I offer to pay him for it he gets mad and says if he didn't care about me he would't do it. When I do anything that he thinks is wrong in my life he is constantly giving me crap about it and says he is only doing it because he cares. I am going to take your advice and move on. It really hurts but I know that is what I have to do. I guess only time will tell if it was meant to be. No more FWB relationships for this girl, they don't work and you get hurt worse if it is someone you have been friends with long before you start sleeping together.
I think I am going to give up on him because I know I deserve better. I am a very smart, independent, successful and attracive woman and don't have problems with finding guys to date. I don't know why I let this guy get to me so much. I guess I thought I could help him with his problems but only he can fix his messed up life. The chemistry we have is crazy and maybe it was all lust and I took it too far. That is probably why I held on for so long. I haven't brought up in conversations anything about our relationship in over a month and our friendship seems to be getting back on track. I just wish he wasn't so gorgeous. It would make it alot easier to forget about him lol. My friends tell me it's his loss and maybe I should believe them. I think I will do what you advise by not listening to his problems and being there as much for him whenever he needs me. Thanks for listening.
I am a gemini. From what I have read we are the worst possible match for capricorns. Funny thing is I do not have the typical wishy/washy traits of geminis. I have always been driven and successful in my life and know exactly what I want and where I am going. I have always been in long lasting relationships (6 -7 years) and have been faithful and devoted to every man I have been with. That is why I have such a hard time wondering why I let him get to me so much. This man went out of his way to prove to me that we wasn't what I was told by everyone (how he couldn't keep a relationship and that he would hurt me). Silly me gave him the chance prove he wasn't that way and then once he had me, boom up went a wall. I know capricorns are not the type to express their emotions or feelings but it seems like just when he was letting his guard down with me he panicked. Since I backed off from him and stopped jumping everytime he needed me, he has now been calling and texting constantly. Do you think he is just playing games or trying to fiure out what the hell he wants. I care deeply for him but wow talk about frustrating. They are very strange and complex creatures lol.
No more miss nice girl for me. lol. It will be hard but I am gonna give it a try.
Why did I figure it's only and mostly capricorn men being jerks? The taurus and scorpio guy I've dated were such sweethearts and would never hurt a woman intentionally... caps seem to squeeze into your mind, and suck it out so that they could screw with it and then watch how it works and enjoy it!
Why did I figure it's only and mostly capricorn men being jerks?
Yeah they can be jerks but they are wonderful givers as well, just can't put up with it and you don't have to be emotional over it, just do what feels right for you, put you first in all that you do and he will respect and respond to that in a positive way, less words more action....the more you show him through your actions that you are a woman of class and distinction the more respect he will give you.

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