Advice on my Situation
This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by woozy on Wednesday, April 26, 2006 and has 7 replies.
Hola everyone, glad to meet you.
I was wondering if any of you caps (or anyone else for that matter)
might have an enlightening point of view on my delima. I'm a 19 year
old (male) Cancer 7/21 and I was dating a 28 year old (female) Capricorn 1/14.
We hit it off hard; we had met at a party and within a week of our first date
she was moving into my apartment. We lived together for the better part of
six months and continued dating for another six. Then the trouble started.
We had lots of ups and downs throughout, constantly making sure we knew
where each other stood (which was a big issue, because we became involved
with each other so quickly). I also had a rather traumatic year: I crashed my car,
spent some time in jail, got nicely far into debt.
Anyway, what it came down to was after a year or so we found ourselves arguing over a lot of
trivial matters. We care about each other very much, but we seem to have lots of issues communicating.
Examples:
She does not take advice from me. ever. offering advice has long since been taken off of my list of good ideas
She had lots of issues at first with knowing "what I was thinking about" and then more issues
when I tried to explain that I did not think she would understand, nor was I ready to share the contents of my inner monologue.
My hyperactive brain: She has issues handling how fast I spit questions at her, and how impatient i get waiting for
a reply.
She disapeared off my radar one week and after some extensive searching, I managed
to track her down at her parent's house. I finally got her to sit down with me
(she refused anyplace but the coffee shop of her choosing) and told me she did not want
to be involved with me anymore.
So I whined and questioned and prodded until she told me she loved me and that she was sorry she
had to do it, but she was way too stressed out for her own good and wanted space.
So I gave her some space for a while, but I really, like her, so I started sending emails that she did not reply to
until finally, I had this wicked nightmare and called her in the middle of the night
She was unwilling to communicate with me for several months until about two weeks ago I had this crazy nightmare, which she was in. I called her in the middle of the night and we had a caring conversation for the first time since. She said that she had distanced herself from me in hopes that it would "open everything back up". She said that she loves me, misses me and thinks of me; but when I asked if I could see her in person, she replied two things: First she said she did not want to hurt me again. And then she said that I have a tendency to be self-centered and she thought it would be much better if we confined our interaction to the telephone.
So my paranoid self has come up with two things that I see as most possible:
A-Best Case Senario- She does in fact love me, and care for me, and is attracted to me,
but is simply unwilling to resestablish contact due to her fear of falling back into the same
pits that ended up ending what we were trying to create.
B-Not so Best Case Senario- She probably loves me, but the attraction is no more, she's talking to me
again because of the obligation she feels towards me (because I'm so much younger/emotionlly fragile than her)
and I would be most likely better off if I were to stop altogether. She's trying to save face by saving me the emotional
torment of hearing "I don't want you"
So again I ask:
Little help?
anyone?
This is complicated and delicate.
I was wondering if any of you caps (or anyone else for that matter)
might have an enlightening point of view on my delima. I'm a 19 year
old (male) Cancer 7/21 and I was dating a 28 year old (female) Capricorn 1/14.
We hit it off hard; we had met at a party and within a week of our first date
she was moving into my apartment. We lived together for the better part of
six months and continued dating for another six. Then the trouble started.
We had lots of ups and downs throughout, constantly making sure we knew
where each other stood (which was a big issue, because we became involved
with each other so quickly). I also had a rather traumatic year: I crashed my car,
spent some time in jail, got nicely far into debt.
Anyway, what it came down to was after a year or so we found ourselves arguing over a lot of
trivial matters. We care about each other very much, but we seem to have lots of issues communicating.
Examples:
She does not take advice from me. ever. offering advice has long since been taken off of my list of good ideas
She had lots of issues at first with knowing "what I was thinking about" and then more issues
when I tried to explain that I did not think she would understand, nor was I ready to share the contents of my inner monologue.
My hyperactive brain: She has issues handling how fast I spit questions at her, and how impatient i get waiting for
a reply.
She disapeared off my radar one week and after some extensive searching, I managed
to track her down at her parent's house. I finally got her to sit down with me
(she refused anyplace but the coffee shop of her choosing) and told me she did not want
to be involved with me anymore.
So I whined and questioned and prodded until she told me she loved me and that she was sorry she
had to do it, but she was way too stressed out for her own good and wanted space.
So I gave her some space for a while, but I really, like her, so I started sending emails that she did not reply to
until finally, I had this wicked nightmare and called her in the middle of the night
She was unwilling to communicate with me for several months until about two weeks ago I had this crazy nightmare, which she was in. I called her in the middle of the night and we had a caring conversation for the first time since. She said that she had distanced herself from me in hopes that it would "open everything back up". She said that she loves me, misses me and thinks of me; but when I asked if I could see her in person, she replied two things: First she said she did not want to hurt me again. And then she said that I have a tendency to be self-centered and she thought it would be much better if we confined our interaction to the telephone.
So my paranoid self has come up with two things that I see as most possible:
A-Best Case Senario- She does in fact love me, and care for me, and is attracted to me,
but is simply unwilling to resestablish contact due to her fear of falling back into the same
pits that ended up ending what we were trying to create.
B-Not so Best Case Senario- She probably loves me, but the attraction is no more, she's talking to me
again because of the obligation she feels towards me (because I'm so much younger/emotionlly fragile than her)
and I would be most likely better off if I were to stop altogether. She's trying to save face by saving me the emotional
torment of hearing "I don't want you"
So again I ask:
Little help?
anyone?
This is complicated and delicate.
"She does not take advice from me. ever. offering advice has long since been taken off of my list of good ideas. She had lots of issues at first with knowing "what I was thinking about" and then more issues when I tried to explain that I did not think she would understand, nor was I ready to share the contents of my inner monologue. My hyperactive brain: She has issues handling how fast I spit questions at her, and how impatient i get waiting for a reply."
I can't speak for her, but being in the same zodiac sign, I can tell you that most Capricorns don't like being being advice that they didn't ask for. Someone giving me advice on something I didn't ask for is implying that I am doing something wrong. And if a much younger person ever tried to give me advice, I'll just laugh at them and tell them how silly they are.
As far as the keeping the relationship over the phone, i would think that she has another man on the side that she likes more than you, but is keeping you on the side as a Plan B.
I can't speak for her, but being in the same zodiac sign, I can tell you that most Capricorns don't like being being advice that they didn't ask for. Someone giving me advice on something I didn't ask for is implying that I am doing something wrong. And if a much younger person ever tried to give me advice, I'll just laugh at them and tell them how silly they are.
As far as the keeping the relationship over the phone, i would think that she has another man on the side that she likes more than you, but is keeping you on the side as a Plan B.
^ Yeah, that's what I thought too.
And I cannot be sure that I was not some kind of boy-toy.
Really, I'm having a rather difficult time deciding on what exactly to be sure of.
And I cannot be sure that I was not some kind of boy-toy.
Really, I'm having a rather difficult time deciding on what exactly to be sure of.
there is no such thing as 50/50. That would mean that everytime you take out the trash, the next day she'll take out the trash. Or everytime you let her borrow money, she in return let u borrow the same amount money, etc.
Relationship NEVER happen like this.
I'm like braun, kind of. My manly pride couldn't allow me to be in a relationship with an older, more experienced women especially if she only going out with you with have a man to bully around.
Relationship NEVER happen like this.
I'm like braun, kind of. My manly pride couldn't allow me to be in a relationship with an older, more experienced women especially if she only going out with you with have a man to bully around.
this is a little off topic, but by reading these forums, I believe that us Capricorns are the most open and honest group of people. No other sign is as open to our internal feelings like we are on this forum. Do yall agree?
I agree, we can be brutally honest; I find I only am when I think it will help a person. I never do it to hurt someone feelings, not intentionally.
MY goodness, come on fellow caps have a heart 
She may really love him, but the age difference is just something she maybe having issues with right now. Woozy, please ... don't give up on her just yet. Women in general go through stages where they believe they have everything figured out ... then the when they realize they really don't ... nothing makes sense anymore (hope that didn't confuse you 
I'm a 21 year capricorn female who has had some simular problems with a (YOU GUESSED IT) a cancer male who is older then me, but we are friends now because just like your capricorn woman, he was emotionally unstable.
But, I did the same thing to him that your capricorn woman is doing to you ... I began to back off. Why? I felt that he was dealing with too much drama and for me to become involved in it would've just made it worse ... We are in the "same boat" at the moment, just different genders. If you want anymore of my advice, let me know. Maybe you can advise me too, I have no problem listening to someone younger then me. Why should??? It's absurd to place knowledge on age -- HONESTLY. Wisedome, sure age plays a part, but intelligence ad commonsense .... hahahahaha NO WAY. Most middle age people I know still lack the required brains cells needed to have a fully functioning mind. Yes, it's really sad but VERY TRUE
She may really love him, but the age difference is just something she maybe having issues with right now. Woozy, please ... don't give up on her just yet. Women in general go through stages where they believe they have everything figured out ... then the when they realize they really don't ... nothing makes sense anymore (hope that didn't confuse you I'm a 21 year capricorn female who has had some simular problems with a (YOU GUESSED IT) a cancer male who is older then me, but we are friends now because just like your capricorn woman, he was emotionally unstable. But, I did the same thing to him that your capricorn woman is doing to you ... I began to back off. Why? I felt that he was dealing with too much drama and for me to become involved in it would've just made it worse ... We are in the "same boat" at the moment, just different genders. If you want anymore of my advice, let me know. Maybe you can advise me too, I have no problem listening to someone younger then me. Why should??? It's absurd to place knowledge on age -- HONESTLY. Wisedome, sure age plays a part, but intelligence ad commonsense .... hahahahaha NO WAY. Most middle age people I know still lack the required brains cells needed to have a fully functioning mind. Yes, it's really sad but VERY TRUE
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