as good as it gets??

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by WoundedLove on Wednesday, March 1, 2006 and has 9 replies.
If I'm understanding correctly, I should not tell him that I am in love with him even if I am, because if I do, he will lose interest in the chase since he doesnt feel the same for me.....yet?
Sounds like a risky place to be, I know I'm naive and probably to idealistic, but if he isn't where I am at after 6 months, then why would I have much hope that will change. I guess I can give it a few more months, but it will only get harder to let him go the longer I keep hoping he will change. My fears tell me to cut my losses now, and my heart tells me not to give up too soon and let something special get lost. There are so many lonely people in this world, so many that just want someone to hold each night, someone to share their joy and sorrow with, and maybe they passed up a good thing because they gave up too soon. Maybe this is as good as it gets.
I hope I find some level of comfort with this relationship and where it is. I hope my cappy friend can see how much love I can give him and decides he can commit his heart to me before I get scared and run the other way for good.
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Welcome to my world...or me to yours....I am also six months w/ a cappy and havent done the "I heart you" yet. I have given this some thought of course but I have decided that he should do it. Why? For various reasons, but mainly that he needs time to process things, eg I believe he is on the cusp of asking me to fly to meet his parents because he has become quiet over the last couple days...this is standard behavior for him.
Its like he needs to think things through for like ever, you know Jerry Seinfeld going to Coney Island and thinking....but when he reaches a decision its really quite beautiful, clear, brief, and you really feel he is committed. Its worth the wait.
So I am patient, mature and have all the time in the world, might as well sit back and enjoy it!
Good Luck
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Wounded Love: I have not read through all of the postings but here in general would be my thoughts and advice.....There are risks that accompany the rewards and hell is the only place outside heaven where we can be safe from the dangers of love. We can give you all sorts of advice here but only you know what your heart is telling you. So, my advice....Give love freely with no regrets it is the only thing that is priceless and costs nothing. Be strong smile CapGirl1225
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I am very grateful to you for giving warm support when I felt so weak and hurt. The input you gave has helped me to look at my relationship a little more clearly.
WTL,CG1225 and Branh, you have been so kind with me. You are right that I can only be true to my heart. I believe he does care for me, but he must not be ready. Today I had to drive out of town and while driving I felt my confidence returning. I have decided that I'm not going to "do" anything but just wait and see what happens next. I think I can try to be open to other possible relationships with friends I was speding time with before he turned my head towards him. I had stopped going out because I didn't want to be with anyone else, but I feel I should resume my life before cappy. Unless he can comitt his heart to me I don't think it would be healthy for me to sit around waiting and hoping. If he doesn't come back, I will use this as a lesson, that just because he says he is a passionate christian, doesn't mean he would restrain his physical advances until he's sure I was the one for him. I thought he was sure and maybe he can still be, I just shouldn't have made the assumption he felt more for me than he does.
Branh, thank you for your gentle words. I'm very happy about what you've said.
On a brighter note, some of the posts are so silly, they brought a smile in my day. Thanks again,
wl
I didn risk by telling him the last time we were together a few weeks ago, and while I may have lost, I was true and honest about my feelings for him, if he ran, then that was his choice. I'm glad I told him, I'm glad I took the risk, and I pray that God will bring someone into my life that will be ready to give me his love and I give mine in return.
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Wow Branh..you can be nice..
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yes branh i was also a little surprised with your response, i suppose your recent heartbreak might have softened you? and you are absolutely correct...no matter what, in areas of the heart there is ALWAYS risk, so one can decide to risk nothing and then you can be sure of what you get...nothing, and of course the risk of loving someone is not being loved back. we have all had experiences with that no matter who you are.There is no absolute answer to ANY of our situations here, people are people and each one different from the next. I believe these posts are a good outlet to just get some of this brain matter out there, it's safe because we are people from all over the world who don't know each other personally and therefore can express freely feelings etc. i appreciate being able to go here and read other people's posts, it makes one feel somewhat not alone in the world. I don't know about the rest of you, but I have some very good friends that i speak with and although they are a great comfort, there's something about the anonymity here that makes it somewhat easier to lay it all out there. Good luck to everyone and Branh, I truly am sorry for your situation, although I have to say, it does give me some insight into some of your more biting retorts to people, when we are hurting it's very easy to lash out at other people, at least for me.(and i won't be surprised if you write an attack back, it's ok go for it)
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yes I know the feeling when you get to the point of enough. Good luck, and yes, I'm sure you made the right decision for yourself. What's most important to all of us is how we treat ourselves, it's very cliche, but if we don't love ourselves we can't love anyone else.
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Wow, I am seeing a different side of Bran..one that is logical as well as emotional..woohoo..I am with you on that one Bran..you have to know in your own mind that you've made the right decision and move on. Exactly what I've done with that cappy..I can't be bothered with the power trips and game playing..your entry on Cappy men understand..
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It could be the "woundedlove" username (we see he can relate), the "as good as it gets" title and WL's plea that branh "be nice" in her post that melted that grinch-woman-hating heart of his. And perhaps the piscean's ill-use of her power.
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