Breakups

This topic was created in the Capricorn forum by warholian on Saturday, April 4, 2009 and has 8 replies.
I was wondering how my cappies handle breakups, both ways. Do you find yourself trying to "stay strong" and get through it or do you let your emotions out? I find that in the past I get more cold than usual and quite mean. I've never been dumped, so I don't know how the other half lives. Just wondering how you all handle it either way, in general.
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Also, there could be three ways. You could end it, she/he could end it or it could be mutual. Seems as though the latter is pretty rare though.
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My cappy friend blames himself to this day for his breakup...It was many moons ago but he just can't let it go...part of the reason him and I could not get it together...he thinks he's a loser...I have tried to console him in so many ways but now if he says "I was not man enough to handle it, I am a loser" I just tell him yes that he is..I am sick to death of trying to tell him otherwise so I just agree that he is a total and utter tosspot...that usually works!
I will always love the bastard secretly....
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I don't know how anyone can carry the scars for so long. Maybe I haven't experienced true love..waaaaaah....I just cannot fathom hanging onto something for so long....I move on so quickly...
I can understand grieving for about 6 months or so if you really loved the guy...but anything more then that is just plain stupidity!
Maybe I will eat my words if I ever do fall in love...
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When I??m the one getting dumped I know how to handle it now. I discard everything associated with the guy (pictures, mails, gifts etc.). Then do things that are out of my regular routine, like going to a restaurant, museum, or anyplace I??ve never been before for about a month. Maybe I will throw in a vacation if it??s really bad. Then I gradually go back to my routine to feel as if it was just a dream. I want to put it in the past as soon as possible. I never show my sadness to even my closest friends during this healing period. If I slipped my tongue and told some of the things that happened between me and the dumper to my close friends during the relationship, I act as if nothing happened or joke around about it. I??m supposed to be the strongest and toughest person in my circle of friends, and need to maintain my composure??_which does sound very sad when I write it out like this. After about 3 months I can see more clearly what was right and wrong. Things that were right will become part of my confidence, and things that were bad will become something to work on. It??s harder when there is no clear closure like not talking after a fight. Then I analyze it for months. After a year it becomes something to talk to with my close friends. Still it is limited to what happened instead of what I felt.
Being the one to break the relationship is harder for me. This is probably because at least I can control myself, but I cannot control others feelings. I want to minimize the pain for the guy. Also, intense display of emotions like uncontrolled anger or crying startles me. I do tell quite quickly that my feelings are gone, but only after some preparation. I will stop caring and become rather aloof. It??s the hardest time to go through for me, because I actually want to hug the guy so bad and console him. I know giving sympathy will only make things worse from experience. Closure is something I want, so I give it at the end when I think he??s ready. What follows can stop me from pursuing a close relationship from months to years depending on how the guy is doing. I want to know he is doing well, so I try to find out through friends.
I never had a mutual breakup. Does it really exist?
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Hahaha bonding caps...how sweetsmile
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"The user who posted this message has hidden it."
Typical capricorn.
I totally missed the whole thing. Blah.
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Were you two having a competition on who quits hiding the posts first? In that case Sagigoat you lost...
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