Can Love Be Taught?

Posted by cappygolightly
It's a very deep & meaningful subject you've hit on Cappysweetie What inspired you to post?
I think most people can identify with the following definition of love so oft quoted during wedding sermons that it's almost become cliche :

"love is patient and kind, love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices at the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends; as for prophesies they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge it will pass away. For our knowledge is imperfect; but when the perfect comes, the imperfect will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man I gave up my childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall understand fully, even as I have been fully understood. So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love." -Paul in I Corinthians 13

So my interpretation of this is that when all else is gone love is all we have left. Therefore love should be the most important thing in the world.

Posted by GreatBull
you can love someone, but you have to learn to love them right.

Posted by sagigoat
well everyone's love nature is different and yes it can be learned to love someone better but if your love nature is too different you are fundamentally incompatible it would be like trying to fit someone else teeth into your mouth it's painful and can be ugly :/.

Posted by cappygolightly
by the way I'm not talking about obssessive love, infatuation, etc but the sort of pure love that leads
to mutual respect, understanding, true emotional intimacy. If you don't have a good relationship with
yourself your relationships will be flawed because you will either project your insecurities with unreasonable behavior withold affection.

Posted by sagigoat
i think i was talking about love nature compatibility in my earlier posts instead of how to love. i just believe that there are only a small amount of ppl we are innately compatible with and the rest to me there is no need to waste time to even try. the more we try to force something that is not meant to be the more jaded or damaged we get so it's a good thing to protect our innocence that's how one can remain pure at heart and love like a child always. atleast that's how i would like to be.

Posted by cappygolightly
Not sure about astro stuff, but the aqua mooner I was with gave a lot more real love than many guys. I can't remember what SG's placements were but I think they are v different from mine (moon in virg, aries rising, venus in cap, mars libra). I'm musing on this because I've been thinking about the same things in relation to offloading baggage I've acquired over the years.

Posted by Archer
cappysweetie,
I dont think it is love as you have mentioned,,, but could it be that you are spreading yourself too thin and getting too tired in the process; work and study and house and all
because Virgos that I know, they are not ever so dominant or demanding to ask to stop something.. the closest I ever had was whenever I was out and I wondered abt some project or problem and he would remind me to leave it and BE WHERE YOU ARE ,, DO NOT DIVIDE YOURSELF TOO MUCH
I think he is insecure somehow,,, I bet you are a hottie and he does not really know how you feel for him,, he is sounding as if he is competeting for your attention and sulking like a baby.

I wonder if a little reassurance with out giving your stance away will make a difference or not?

Posted by Archer
.... ... yeah a little knowledge is dangerous.

you ll be out of this predicament, for sure.

Posted by Ms.Pisces
He wants you to quit school so you can give him your complete attention? I'm confused.

If that is in fact the case, you know in your heart what the right thing to do is, Cappy.

Posted by sagigoat
"its like everything I bring to him, he blocks it."
"We will be having another talk, face-to-face, this week."
hmm... is there a way to have the let's-break-up-and-no-it's-no-joke-maybe-we-shoudn't-be-in-contact-for-a-while talk with the door half open? he sounds unusually possessive/aggressive with no regard whatsoever of your wish to break up. better safe than sorry.

Posted by Miss Priss
Wow Cappysweetie....he's in deep or he's scary sick. Maybe he can't except losing you and that's why he doesn't support the education part = young people...younger guys. I don't know but follow your heart now. I'm a virgo and I think we females are different than the virgo guys but I do know no matter how hard me and this cap try to let go....we just can't. No physical stuff and we've known each other for over a year and it's still there.
Can't speak for you so how does he make you feel? Write it all down here...what does he do and how does he make you feel....(maybe I'll learn something about the cap hahaha).
Also, Cappysweetie....what is it about the cancer that you had problems breaking up. I dated a cancer and I swear he had ovaries.....haha "How do you feel about me"...."Do you love me any"....knew him a short time and dang....but he moved on quickly thank God!

Posted by cappygolightly
Yeah you definitely should not have to deal with that kind of baggage at your age. I guess even if she is with someone else, if she was with him for nine years and has kids with him then those kind of ties will make him a permanent presence in her life. One of my best friends lost her aqua ex husband prematurely last year. They had been divorced for years but had two kids together and the whole situation affected her all year. I mean she was with someone else at the time and the strain of the event (particularly the strain on the kids) pretty much contributed to a break up. I think once someone has an ex with shared kids you should proceed with caution because there is an unbreakable bond even if they hate each other. Plus you have the burden of having to deal with kids accepting you. My friend has constant problems if her kids don't like a partner. They may be accepting at first, but once they realise someone looks like they may be sticking around permanently they start to try to drive a wedge. It's caused my friend so much pain. It's far better to go for less complex situations and enjoy being carefree.