Posted by Koniucha
You said it, he is full of shit.
Don't waste your time trying to understand, you never will.
You are very pretty, so don't worry about that.
Posted by Caplove
I sort of feel that those that are insecure with themselves (deep down) have problems complementing others and noticing their good qualities and strengths. I mean, how can they when they're too wrapped up in themselves? I'm wondering if it's an insecurity issue on his part?
Just another thought, it could also be that he doesn't want you to KNOW how beautiful he really thinks you are. When he downplays your striking good looks (you're gorgeous, by the way), he's put you on a level playing field with him and sort of making you feel insecure going in which is obviously a very bad sign. So you're already at a disadvantage, questioning yourself and making you uncomfortable. Either way, it's juvenile and very manipulating. It's good you're tossing that tuna back in the sea. Forget him and these ridiculous games.
Posted by Caplove
I sort of feel that those that are insecure with themselves (deep down) have problems complementing others and noticing their good qualities and strengths. I mean, how can they when they're too wrapped up in themselves? I'm wondering if it's an insecurity issue on his part?
Just another thought, it could also be that he doesn't want you to KNOW how beautiful he really thinks you are. When he downplays your striking good looks (you're gorgeous, by the way), he's put you on a level playing field with him and sort of making you feel insecure going in which is obviously a very bad sign. So you're already at a disadvantage, questioning yourself and making you uncomfortable. Either way, it's juvenile and very manipulating. It's good you're tossing that tuna back in the sea. Forget him and these ridiculous games.
Posted by jpxPosted by Caplove
I was just going to say exactly this, I've seen almost the exact same thing with a female friend and the guy she dated at the time.
I think it's quite possible he is actually downplaying his interest in you, because he's insecure and intimidated by you (whether it's by your looks or personality or both) and quite possibly WANTS you to notice this - that's he's liking others and not you - to make your feel insecure as well and somehow that way want him "more".. sounds weird but it's not that uncommon with insecure people. Very juvenile, like Caplove said.
He's interested, I'd say, but can't go about it in the right way and he's obviously not making you feel good about the whole situation.. you're better off without this one!click to expand
Posted by CaplovePosted by ashley1734Posted by Caplove
I sort of feel that those that are insecure with themselves (deep down) have problems complementing others and noticing their good qualities and strengths. I mean, how can they when they're too wrapped up in themselves? I'm wondering if it's an insecurity issue on his part?
Just another thought, it could also be that he doesn't want you to KNOW how beautiful he really thinks you are. When he downplays your striking good looks (you're gorgeous, by the way), he's put you on a level playing field with him and sort of making you feel insecure going in which is obviously a very bad sign. So you're already at a disadvantage, questioning yourself and making you uncomfortable. Either way, it's juvenile and very manipulating. It's good you're tossing that tuna back in the sea. Forget him and these ridiculous games.
Thank you...I sort of sensed the insecurity thing about him early on, not because he seems insecure but because a LOT of men have done this to me and I am now finally quick to catch on. Most of the men who have had me questioning things or wondering if they are interested or attracted to me have ended up admitting that they were just very insecure. With this Cap, I was very complimentary to him, but not to an extent of it being ingenuine, I just made sure he knew I was interested and admired him and was attracted...NORMAL things that should be happening. I just wasn't getting the same from him which is a shame really.
Yeah.. that. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he's a bad guy or that those other guys were. It's just something to be aware of and what's worse is that he may not even realize what he's doing. Yes, it's a shame. And a it's HUGE sign that he's probably not ready or at that stage where he can foster a strong, lasting relationship. I mean, he's still working on himself and trying to be more secure with who he is.
click to expand
Posted by tiziani
I was like this with a woman a long time ago. Having said that, she didn't send out the best signals herself. We just got started off the wrong foot and it set the tone for the relationship.
Posted by tizianiPosted by ashley1734Posted by tiziani
I was like this with a woman a long time ago. Having said that, she didn't send out the best signals herself. We just got started off the wrong foot and it set the tone for the relationship.
After reading about Cap men when he and I first started hanging out, I made certain that I sent no mixed signals. I didn't have a problem initiating texts (normally I would be like ugh text me first you dick), I would grab his hand if he didn't grab mine, etc. In the past there have been times I haven't been as warm outwardly toward a man as I felt inwardly, so I made certain I sent out positive and loving energy and opened the pathway for him to do the same, so I can't say I look back (this time) and think "man I really should have made my interest more known." I was doting without being clingy and optimistic without having forthright expectations.
Two different situations. Don't get me wrong I was simply thinking out loud. I wasn't implying you did the same thing she did.
Is this really about the guy's insecurities. It seems to me it's more about the fact your taste in men is changing. You noticed the "common pattern" among all thise dudes and you're moving away from it. Which is more powerful than trying to assuage someone else's insecurities imo.click to expand
Posted by KoniuchaPosted by ashley1734
Forgot to mention that after I decided to go quitsville on him again on Saturday and had deleted his number, he sends me a stupid internet meme thing yesterday afternoon that said "Don't do something permanently stupid when you're only temporarily upset." Wow.
Did you ask him what that means?click to expand
Posted by tizianiPosted by ashley1734Posted by tiziani
I was like this with a woman a long time ago. Having said that, she didn't send out the best signals herself. We just got started off the wrong foot and it set the tone for the relationship.
After reading about Cap men when he and I first started hanging out, I made certain that I sent no mixed signals. I didn't have a problem initiating texts (normally I would be like ugh text me first you dick), I would grab his hand if he didn't grab mine, etc. In the past there have been times I haven't been as warm outwardly toward a man as I felt inwardly, so I made certain I sent out positive and loving energy and opened the pathway for him to do the same, so I can't say I look back (this time) and think "man I really should have made my interest more known." I was doting without being clingy and optimistic without having forthright expectations.
Two different situations. Don't get me wrong I was simply thinking out loud. I wasn't implying you did the same thing she did.
Is this really about the guy's insecurities. It seems to me it's more about the fact your taste in men is changing. You noticed the "common pattern" among all thise dudes and you're moving away from it. Which is more powerful than trying to assuage someone else's insecurities imo.click to expand
Posted by jpxPosted by tizianiPosted by ashley1734Posted by tiziani
I was like this with a woman a long time ago. Having said that, she didn't send out the best signals herself. We just got started off the wrong foot and it set the tone for the relationship.
After reading about Cap men when he and I first started hanging out, I made certain that I sent no mixed signals. I didn't have a problem initiating texts (normally I would be like ugh text me first you dick), I would grab his hand if he didn't grab mine, etc. In the past there have been times I haven't been as warm outwardly toward a man as I felt inwardly, so I made certain I sent out positive and loving energy and opened the pathway for him to do the same, so I can't say I look back (this time) and think "man I really should have made my interest more known." I was doting without being clingy and optimistic without having forthright expectations.
Two different situations. Don't get me wrong I was simply thinking out loud. I wasn't implying you did the same thing she did.
Is this really about the guy's insecurities. It seems to me it's more about the fact your taste in men is changing. You noticed the "common pattern" among all thise dudes and you're moving away from it. Which is more powerful than trying to assuage someone else's insecurities imo.
Wow, good observation.
I wish I could be doing this as well!click to expand
Posted by ashley1734Posted by jpxPosted by tizianiPosted by ashley1734Posted by tiziani
I was like this with a woman a long time ago. Having said that, she didn't send out the best signals herself. We just got started off the wrong foot and it set the tone for the relationship.
After reading about Cap men when he and I first started hanging out, I made certain that I sent no mixed signals. I didn't have a problem initiating texts (normally I would be like ugh text me first you dick), I would grab his hand if he didn't grab mine, etc. In the past there have been times I haven't been as warm outwardly toward a man as I felt inwardly, so I made certain I sent out positive and loving energy and opened the pathway for him to do the same, so I can't say I look back (this time) and think "man I really should have made my interest more known." I was doting without being clingy and optimistic without having forthright expectations.
Two different situations. Don't get me wrong I was simply thinking out loud. I wasn't implying you did the same thing she did.
Is this really about the guy's insecurities. It seems to me it's more about the fact your taste in men is changing. You noticed the "common pattern" among all thise dudes and you're moving away from it. Which is more powerful than trying to assuage someone else's insecurities imo.
Wow, good observation.
I wish I could be doing this as well!
I notice you're 29...I SWEAR this didn't start happening until I turned 30 haha (with a conscious effort on my part of course).click to expand
Posted by jpxPosted by ashley1734Posted by jpxPosted by tizianiPosted by ashley1734Posted by tiziani
I was like this with a woman a long time ago. Having said that, she didn't send out the best signals herself. We just got started off the wrong foot and it set the tone for the relationship.
.
Wow, good observation.
I wish I could be doing this as well!
I notice you're 29...I SWEAR this didn't start happening until I turned 30 haha (with a conscious effort on my part of course).
Haha, oh thank God.. only a year left then
I'm starting to at least recognize some of my own patterns now, but I can't seem to be able to do much about them. I can walk away from it when it's hurting me or making me uncomfortable, like in your situation, but I keep falling for the same old type of guy I've always fallen for anyway :Sclick to expand
Posted by ashley1734
So I previously decided against continuing pursuing things with a particular Capricorn man because he just wasn't making me feel like he was as interested in I was, which was totally fine but at this point in my life, I know better than to wait around for someone to feel something they just don't feel (or express). Anyway, I told him I just didn't see us being compatible and I felt we weren't on the same page and he let me go without a fight and after three days of no communication, he started texted me with "I miss you's" and "I think you should rethink this and let me show you that you can trust me", etc (I never didn't trust him so I'm not sure where that came from).
Anyway I agreed to meet him for a drink and we sort of reconciled, but I told him let's just take this slow (I was still unconvinced we were vibrating on the same frequency). So we were hanging every few days again and then last weekend we were chatting about traveling and he mentioned he was going to visit his female friend up in San Francisco (she has a bf now) so I was just asking normal questions like if she was a friend from back home, etc and he said yes and that she's the one he visited in London. He told me it started off as friends but then because they were traveling together for a month, they started sleeping together and continued it once they got back home.
I didn't want too much information but I just asked why they never dated and he said "I could have but I didn't want to" (sounded cocky to me) and then he went on to say "she is beautiful though..." and this is the part where I was bothered. Not because he called another woman beautiful, but because he has never called ME beautiful. Even when I met his best friend, his best friend shook my hand and then turned to my Cap and said "dude she's fucking hot" and my guy responded casually "yeah she's pretty cute." And beyond that, he never compliments me even when I have gone out of my way to look perfect. I never really thought anything of it because I figured he's just not a complimentary guy and I don't really need that kind of positive reinforcement anyway, but then when he so openly called her beautiful I was bugged.
So then later that day I was showing him a couple travel pictures on my Instagram and he's like "I never really go on Instagram"...I figured that was the case because he's never liked a single picture of mine, again I didn't think anything of this UNTIL that evening when we weren't together, I saw him liking a multitude of different women's pictures, some beautiful, some average, some not attractive at all. And I had posted a picture in the midst of all those and he still didn't like mine. What the hell?
Anyway I decided to just throw this fish back in the ocean, but I do so want to understand his behavior. He seems so full of shit. In between t
Posted by Andalusia
Perhaps he likes you for more than your looks. I understand wanting someone you're interested in to find you attractive, but attractiveness isn't all physical or appearance based.
He doesn't necessarily sound like a jerk (at least from what you posted above). He just sounds like the physical /superficial stuff isn't a priority for him. I'm NOT calling you superficial - merely pointing out that perhaps you and he date differently and#or stress different criteria when it goes to dating.
Posted by balblair
I'm proud of you...first post on dxp in a long time that makes sense...you did the right thing
And I know it feels great to walk away being solid in a decision for yourself...your happiness is key...I always make sure my life entails things and people that add value and contribute to the happiness!
Good stuff and welcome to thinking clearly when it comes to matters of the heart
Ofcourse he will be back....they all come back.
But that fish needs to grow up and be emotionally mature as you've become.
Posted by YellowSubmarine
Let me get this straight – you dumped him because he didn’t like your Instagram picture, and because he called someone else beautiful?
His behavior sounds pretty standard to me, especially since you’re taking things slow, and if the relationship is still fresh (less than 6-8months). He even chased after you when you wanted to let go – what more do you want? Have you tried communicating what you want?
You’ve got Aries Venus, right? Your behavior sounds pretty standard as well, and pretty damn familiar… let go of the idea that a man isn’t interested in you unless he falls at your feet.
Cap generally don’t waste their time. If he didn’t want you, you’d never hear from him again.
But yeah, if you’re looking for romance and constant reassurance, it doesn’t sound like you’ll get that from him. Best to keep it moving, if that’s the case.
Posted by YellowSubmarine
Let me get this straight – you dumped him because he didn’t like your Instagram picture, and because he called someone else beautiful?
His behavior sounds pretty standard to me, especially since you’re taking things slow, and if the relationship is still fresh (less than 6-8months). He even chased after you when you wanted to let go – what more do you want? Have you tried communicating what you want?
You’ve got Aries Venus, right? Your behavior sounds pretty standard as well, and pretty damn familiar… let go of the idea that a man isn’t interested in you unless he falls at your feet.
Cap generally don’t waste their time. If he didn’t want you, you’d never hear from him again.
But yeah, if you’re looking for romance and constant reassurance, it doesn’t sound like you’ll get that from him. Best to keep it moving, if that’s the case.
Posted by YellowSubmarinePosted by ashley1734Posted by YellowSubmarine
Let me get this straight – you dumped him because he didn’t like your Instagram picture, and because he called someone else beautiful?
His behavior sounds pretty standard to me, especially since you’re taking things slow, and if the relationship is still fresh (less than 6-8months). He even chased after you when you wanted to let go – what more do you want? Have you tried communicating what you want?
You’ve got Aries Venus, right? Your behavior sounds pretty standard as well, and pretty damn familiar… let go of the idea that a man isn’t interested in you unless he falls at your feet.
Cap generally don’t waste their time. If he didn’t want you, you’d never hear from him again.
But yeah, if you’re looking for romance and constant reassurance, it doesn’t sound like you’ll get that from him. Best to keep it moving, if that’s the case.
I don't know much about Aries in Venus other than from Google, but just curious...is something I described very "telling" of that placement for me? All the Sun Aries women I know are very hotheaded and can be demanding, but I don't think I have those traits in romance, I'm pretty calm and don't typically ride on a high horse.
Well, there’s good and bad, just like with everything else.
Sun Aries is different from Venus Aries, of course.
I'm Aries Venus also.. we're not as easy to handle as we think
More than happy to PM about it, if you'd likeclick to expand
Posted by Shaniajam
I met this Capricorn the same way you describing... He was sweet for a month then started pushing me away. I would call and out hours of convo was cut short and always busy on the phone.. Finally I had enough and but him off. Two weeks later he came back and said he missed me and he just didn't know how to handle a female like me (he said I was way too nice than he was used to) i turned him down. A week later he came back same thing, but I had felt so rejected (once a Taurus feels rejected they build a wall) I would Never even consider taking him back. When they like someone they are MEAN! They just don't trust easily and don't know how to handle their feelings. Man I thought cancer men were hard to figure out.... Capricorns are the worst! He sounds like he had feelings for you but don't want to seem like the wooos cause they are so strong and ego driven... Nonetheless, drop him. His lost and your gain to fine someone who will show you more affection.
Posted by ashley1734Posted by Shaniajam
I met this Capricorn the same way you describing... He was sweet for a month then started pushing me away. I would call and out hours of convo was cut short and always busy on the phone.. Finally I had enough and but him off. Two weeks later he came back and said he missed me and he just didn't know how to handle a female like me (he said I was way too nice than he was used to) i turned him down. A week later he came back same thing, but I had felt so rejected (once a Taurus feels rejected they build a wall) I would Never even consider taking him back. When they like someone they are MEAN! They just don't trust easily and don't know how to handle their feelings. Man I thought cancer men were hard to figure out.... Capricorns are the worst! He sounds like he had feelings for you but don't want to seem like the wooos cause they are so strong and ego driven... Nonetheless, drop him. His lost and your gain to fine someone who will show you more affection.
I could see that ringing true in my situation as well, but I think moreso in my past men haven't been put off by me being too nice but rather (and I hope this doesn't sound conceited) that I am just intimidating in general...not related to looks, but I think I just have a good sense of who I am, I speak clearly and honestly and for some reason that catches MANY men off guard. Their responses to me always used to leave me feeling baffled and bummed out, wondering what I was doing wrong but over the years whether through their own admittance or me just seeing the pattern, I have realized these men just don't know themselves, and when they meet a woman with a strong sense of purpose, they would rather not be reminded of their own self-work that needs to be done. I need to start going for men who are of an even higher level of awareness than me so I am propelled forward, not these little boys who I have to turn myself into a damn color by numbers just to get some kind of expression from them.click to expand
Posted by ShaniajamPosted by ashley1734Posted by Shaniajam
I met this Capricorn the same way you describing... He was sweet for a month then started pushing me away. I would call and out hours of convo was cut short and always busy on the phone.. Finally I had enough and but him off. Two weeks later he came back and said he missed me and he just didn't know how to handle a female like me (he said I was way too nice than he was used to) i turned him down. A week later he came back same thing, but I had felt so rejected (once a Taurus feels rejected they build a wall) I would Never even consider taking him back. When they like someone they are MEAN! They just don't trust easily and don't know how to handle their feelings. Man I thought cancer men were hard to figure out.... Capricorns are the worst! He sounds like he had feelings for you but don't want to seem like the wooos cause they are so strong and ego driven... Nonetheless, drop him. His lost and your gain to fine someone who will show you more affection.
I could see that ringing true in my situation as well, but I think moreso in my past men haven't been put off by me being too nice but rather (and I hope this doesn't sound conceited) that I am just intimidating in general...not related to looks, but I think I just have a good sense of who I am, I speak clearly and honestly and for some reason that catches MANY men off guard. Their responses to me always used to leave me feeling baffled and bummed out, wondering what I was doing wrong but over the years whether through their own admittance or me just seeing the pattern, I have realized these men just don't know themselves, and when they meet a woman with a strong sense of purpose, they would rather not be reminded of their own self-work that needs to be done. I need to start going for men who are of an even higher level of awareness than me so I am propelled forward, not these little boys who I have to turn myself into a damn color by numbers just to get some kind of expression from them.
And in this moment....you answered your own question ❤❤👌ðŸ¾click to expand
Posted by tiziani
I'm shipping YellowSubmarine and Ashley as a couple 4eva
Posted by ashley1734
Hmmm so Cap and I stopped talking on Sat and then he texted me the dumb quote about "doing something stupid when you're temporarily upset" on Monday to which I didn't respond and then last night at midnight he texted "are you asleep?" again I hadn't responded and then this morning he just texted me "Well I was laying in bed thinking about us being friends and I hope we can at least do that. If not I'll understand and I won't text you anymore. Have a good day."
What? You were laying in bed thinking about being friends with me? No.
Posted by ashley1734Posted by Shaniajam
I met this Capricorn the same way you describing... He was sweet for a month then started pushing me away. I would call and out hours of convo was cut short and always busy on the phone.. Finally I had enough and but him off. Two weeks later he came back and said he missed me and he just didn't know how to handle a female like me (he said I was way too nice than he was used to) i turned him down. A week later he came back same thing, but I had felt so rejected (once a Taurus feels rejected they build a wall) I would Never even consider taking him back. When they like someone they are MEAN! They just don't trust easily and don't know how to handle their feelings. Man I thought cancer men were hard to figure out.... Capricorns are the worst! He sounds like he had feelings for you but don't want to seem like the wooos cause they are so strong and ego driven... Nonetheless, drop him. His lost and your gain to fine someone who will show you more affection.
I could see that ringing true in my situation as well, but I think moreso in my past men haven't been put off by me being too nice but rather (and I hope this doesn't sound conceited) that I am just intimidating in general...not related to looks, but I think I just have a good sense of who I am, I speak clearly and honestly and for some reason that catches MANY men off guard. Their responses to me always used to leave me feeling baffled and bummed out, wondering what I was doing wrong but over the years whether through their own admittance or me just seeing the pattern, I have realized these men just don't know themselves, and when they meet a woman with a strong sense of purpose, they would rather not be reminded of their own self-work that needs to be done. I need to start going for men who are of an even higher level of awareness than me so I am propelled forward, not these little boys who I have to turn myself into a damn color by numbers just to get some kind of expression from them.click to expand
Posted by ariesdubPosted by ashley1734Posted by Shaniajam
I met this Capricorn the same way you describing... He was sweet for a month then started pushing me away. I would call and out hours of convo was cut short and always busy on the phone.. Finally I had enough and but him off. Two weeks later he came back and said he missed me and he just didn't know how to handle a female like me (he said I was way too nice than he was used to) i turned him down. A week later he came back same thing, but I had felt so rejected (once a Taurus feels rejected they build a wall) I would Never even consider taking him back. When they like someone they are MEAN! They just don't trust easily and don't know how to handle their feelings. Man I thought cancer men were hard to figure out.... Capricorns are the worst! He sounds like he had feelings for you but don't want to seem like the wooos cause they are so strong and ego driven... Nonetheless, drop him. His lost and your gain to fine someone who will show you more affection.
I could see that ringing true in my situation as well, but I think moreso in my past men haven't been put off by me being too nice but rather (and I hope this doesn't sound conceited) that I am just intimidating in general...not related to looks, but I think I just have a good sense of who I am, I speak clearly and honestly and for some reason that catches MANY men off guard. Their responses to me always used to leave me feeling baffled and bummed out, wondering what I was doing wrong but over the years whether through their own admittance or me just seeing the pattern, I have realized these men just don't know themselves, and when they meet a woman with a strong sense of purpose, they would rather not be reminded of their own self-work that needs to be done. I need to start going for men who are of an even higher level of awareness than me so I am propelled forward, not these little boys who I have to turn myself into a damn color by numbers just to get some kind of expression from them.
Wats it Sun n rising Sign n mars?
U have Aries in Venus its the energy u generate that may make them feel that way ... I'm a double Aries Taurus in Venus mars in Leo #fuggingintenseclick to expand
Posted by ashley1734Posted by ariesdubPosted by ashley1734Posted by Shaniajam
I met this Capricorn the same way you describing... He was sweet for a month then started pushing me away. I would call and out hours of convo was cut short and always busy on the phone.. Finally I had enough and but him off. Two weeks later he came back and said he missed me and he just didn't know how to handle a female like me (he said I was way too nice than he was used to) i turned him down. A week later he came back same thing, but I had felt so rejected (once a Taurus feels rejected they build a wall) I would Never even consider taking him back. When they like someone they are MEAN! They just don't trust easily and don't know how to handle their feelings. Man I thought cancer men were hard to figure out.... Capricorns are the worst! He sounds like he had feelings for you but don't want to seem like the wooos cause they are so strong and ego driven... Nonetheless, drop him. His lost and your gain to fine someone who will show you more affection.
I could see that ringing true in my situation as well, but I think moreso in my past men haven't been put off by me being too nice but rather (and I hope this doesn't sound conceited) that I am just intimidating in general...not related to looks, but I think I just have a good sense of who I am, I speak clearly and honestly and for some reason that catches MANY men off guard. Their responses to me always used to leave me feeling baffled and bummed out, wondering what I was doing wrong but over the years whether through their own admittance or me just seeing the pattern, I have realized these men just don't know themselves, and when they meet a woman with a strong sense of purpose, they would rather not be reminded of their own self-work that needs to be done. I need to start going for men who are of an even higher level of awareness than me so I am propelled forward, not these little boys who I have to turn myself into a damn color by numbers just to get some kind of expression from them.
Wats it Sun n rising Sign n mars?
U have Aries in Venus its the energy u generate that may make them feel that way ... I'm a double Aries Taurus in Venus mars in Leo #fuggingintense
He is Sun in Capricorn, Mars in Pisces and Aries Asc.click to expand
Posted by champrangerPosted by ashley1734
Yep that's completely me, although I am very conscious of other people needing more space and requiring less communication than me so I try to work on my patience in all relationships.
The rest of it doesn't sound too bad for the right partner
People seem to make this placement worse than it sounds. It has been known as a cheater placement too.click to expand